They sold us dark chocolate as a health food. They told us red wine would make us live forever. Now it's psychic vampire sprays, NMN pills, detox socks, and sparkling-water facials. Welcome to the absurd world of cure-alls — ancient snake oil, now with better branding.

In this episode, we dive into the fantasy of panaceas: the idea that there's one magical fix for everything wrong with you (spoiler: there's not). We swap horror stories about the supplements, gadgets, and full-body hacks we fell for, from drinking apple cider vinegar like it was holy water to slamming horse-sized multivitamins. Plus: fake wellness products so good they should exist, the cult of red wine, and why the real sickness might just be the search for a solution.

If you've ever bought a probiotic because TikTok told you to, or nearly overdosed on NAC because a clairvoyant said so—this one's for you.

Unholy Health: curing your gullibility, one episode at a time.