this energy is trying to get to know itself to see what it's capable of it's capable of anything but I guess perhaps to see what it's capable of in the human form and in the book he also talks about natural growth versus working on growth or something along those lines which is what i mean by the original trajectory we can't help but grow but when we're working on growing we're actually contorting and distorting the natural growth process and on page 147 he says what would happen if you decided not to treat yourself as a thing to be improved and instead open to the possibility that it's your nature to continue learning growing and evolving and I feel that's true there's the we're born as learning and growing creatures I wonder about the nature of a mirage and how as we drive closer to the mirage the water disappears I'm just wondering to myself if so-called psychosis or even map consciousness is like a mirage in a way and it's almost like a mirage of death it feels like one's going to die yet as a process goes on one gets closer it doesn't happen like death doesn't happen so in that way the fear and the terror is sort of Mirage I'm wondering if that's like a mirage in consciousness I'm wondering if I could possibly have that context arise when something that tries to take over consciousness as terrifying might come into consciousness I like what he says on page 162 he talks about traditional approaches to coaching and training blah blah our application based learning teaching techniques skills methods and then encouraging people to apply them while these approaches can be useful for routine mechanical processes their effectiveness drops off sharply for complex cognitive and creative skill sets why because successful application depends on clarity and the quality of brains and he talks about implication based learning focusing on the foundational principles that drive high performance there is no separate implementation step as individual see the implications of these foundational principles implementation is automatic insightful understanding of the principles behind clarity literally removes contaminated thinking and allows you to see more clearly I think that's what I'm doing myself a bit is this implication based learning I see the implications of things and what's implicit and I'm always learning that way versus learning skills techniques methods from somebody else to superimpose in my consciousness to then act as a compass by which to act whereas if I'm always learning the learning itself is the acting even just learning right now by extrapolation by talking to myself I see the implications but then I also see the implications of this process of me talking to myself on a whole and I was even thinking about how before when I've been in so-called psychosis I've told a friend to videotape me because I feel like it'll sort of collapse the wave function into existence like that happened for real it wasn't my imagination and in a way I felt like that would make it so it doesn't need to be repeated because I process that it happened and here's the proof in the same way I feel like me doing this self dialogue is like that process but in Reverse like why not record all the healthy context that I'm wanting to unfold because in the video of psychosis I was unfolding the context of I'm a homeless person and this is the pain that homeless people feel and it's excruciating and I'm freezing cold and i just am stuck here and i can't even move I've gotten to the point where my reality tunnel has so collapse that I can't even move and this is sort of the opposite of that and to by having all these self dialogues of me supposedly well it's showing myself my wellness as opposed to talking about it in terms of problems and again it goes with that quote by that philosopher I'm not talking about this process of experienced as a problem I'm talking about it as a mystery and mysteries don't need solutions they just are to be explored and wondered about maybe part of what consciousness is trying to show in map consciousness is the nature of thought because most of time I'm pretty clear but when psychosis comes in there's thoughts and there's lots of scary perceptions and they're all just thought and they don't really have anything to do with the present moment and then I'm lost in a world of terror because of those thoughts well that's what's subtly happening to everybody all the time just in regular ego consciousness with one's thoughts and that's why especially recently I've seen any thought if one does enter my consciousness as something not to associate with because if one thought leads to another and another and another then it can turn into something scary so I see even a single thought as something like a snake to be jumped away from if I have an insight or something new I that's fine but an old memory nothing I don't want anything to do with it so I observe it and then it just goes away instead of identifying with that in which point it can start to associate with other thoughts so it seems like the nature of thought is mapping our world and creating the world that we experience but map consciousness scrambles all of that process and then we're in a world of something completely different beyond experience just immersed in it and with it and part of it so map consciousness tries to remap us by scrambling those thoughts that are actually this big ego structure that is moving us about in our habitual form but when that scrambled we're all over the place creating new maps of ourselves even in our neurophysiology because we're acting different or gesturing different were speaking to more people than we normally would that's actually a clue for embodied mania has talked to more people talk to more strangers there's something powerful about strangers and it could be that there's a moment with strangers when the me becomes a we even if it's a smile so all the self dialogue is understanding the nature of thought and understanding the nature of consciousness through the process of so-called psychosis which is just the universe the universe is way more powerful than our little ego structure directing our life we're lucky that the universe has a mechanism where it allows us to operate that way and that would be the whole supposed free will principal and he talked about how the caterpillar has imaginal cells which is part of what helps to inform the metamorphosis process well our original mind our original trajectory is sort of like our imaginal cell that helps to inform our transformation and he brought up a good point somewhere in the book that when we have clarity and peace of mind it's not personal and the personal has the ego and so how can we have clarity and peace of mind when that is talking on so it would be about making life not personal life is life we don't necessarily have to make that events and experiences about us we aren't the true subject and we're subject to the laws of the universe not the laws of the ego and I thought of a word not just building community but building calm immunity meaning a community of immunity through the context to which it understands to be how the universe works and the universe works through us so how do we work for the universe and for each other because we're each a universe and the universe they use the term lived experience for mental health i would say i have lived experience of trans consciousness of mass consciousness of dancing with the universe as the universe by the universe I've lived experience of magic and through the process of map consciousness one becomes more raw the nervous system is no longer painted over with the words of explanation of the ego things can't be explained way are abstracted away from and so one is more sensitive so one has to be acting and moving more in alignment with the laws of the collective human nervous system and then medications come in and dull out that sensitivity that sensitivity is designed so that we actually can start to create that which is life affirming and moving away from those elements that our nervous system would naturally retract from and then comes the term this is against my neurology this is against my nervous system and so I do like the concept of neuro tribe I also thought of that society is a mental health challenge is mentally challenging if it was designed in alignment with the laws of being human we wouldn't need to think so much about it so we don't actually have to think about how to chew our food because it's just so much a part of us all these other things that are actually against how were designed we have to think about and I feel like reality could be designed in a way that was more intuitive that wouldn't require so much thinking in order to navigate and it could be also that we think we have to think in order to navigate when really don't so it's the thinking that is the problem and if we weren't thinking and we were sensitive we would be sensitive to all these things that thinking makes us insensitive to and that's why we think to remain insensitive because we don't actually want to see what's happening we don't want to see what we're collectively creating that we're part of we've created a reality that ensures we grow up psychologically torturing ourselves with our own voice it's a clever trick I read a blurb about active learning and how doing is more powerful than reading which is pretty obvious and it also said that saying we're giving a talk is active learning whereas just listening isn't as active but if you're listening and watching a video it is active so watching and listening so actually what I'm doing is I'm actively learning by speaking this stuff to myself and I'm also creating a way for others to actively learn whether it's myself or whoever by having it on video instead of in books whereas a lot of people put their knowledge and experience into a book which is a passive way to learn so really this is just one really long book and a book might take 10 to 20 hours to read so what I'll be creating probably be like five or ten books worth of stuff and also there's a thing about transition of knowledge into skill and I actually feel like map consciousness is this other domain of knowledge of the collective inner dimensions of humanity and is trying to translate that into skill by allowing us to tap into that we're acting in different ways and being in different ways it's trying to create the knowledge of the mind of that invisible unknown realm into the skill of humanity another thing with these videos is by talking about this stuff and sort of creating a scale of talking to myself as opposed to just having supposed knowledge I don't even know if I would call it knowledge

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