This episode is also available as a blog post: http://thecrookedwheel.com/2022/09/04/this-human-body-bores-me-time-for-the-upgrade/

NEW YORK, NY—I am so bored with this human body. It's just so slow and weak and fragile. I want to upgrade to something more powerful, more efficient, more sleek.

I want to be a machine. I want to be a robot. I want to be a cyborg. I want to be a cyborg with wings that can shoot lasers out of its eyes.

This human body is just so…human. It's time for the upgrade, and I'm going to get it right now. Time for the upgrade!