In this episode of This Is How We Care, I’m joined by Diane Alisa, author of "A Love Letter to Suburbia: How to Restore the American Village", for a conversation that names what SO many families feel, but haven’t had language for.

We explore how suburbia, car dependence, and zoning laws have shaped our experience of motherhood, fatherhood, childhood, community, and care itself.

If you’ve ever wondered why:

• Parenting feels isolating

• Community feels hard to access

• Children no longer roam and elders live alone

• The “stay-at-home vs working parent” debate feels impossible


This episode holds the answers. We talk about:

• Why suburbia quietly dismantled the village
(and our experience of trust and community)
• How car-centric design impacts family life and mental health

• The loss of shared wealth, skills, and multigenerational living

• Why zoning laws matter more than we think

• And how neighbors—not corporations or politicians—are the key to rebuilding community 

To connect with Diane Alisa:

• Check out her website - https://dianealisa.carrd.co/
• Buy her book - https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=DzokccGrMt2slF5KQFCXsDMDM5wVCTuLCmYrttV9FmX 
• Follow her on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/diane_alisa

For mentorship, coaching and strategic support as you create community in your life, work with Emily (the Revillaging Mama):

• Apply for the 4-Month 1:1 Mentorship program, "Revillage Your Life" - www.revillagingmama.com/offers
• Online community of other "Revillagers" at The Third Space - www.revillagingmama.com/offers#thethirdspace 

Stay Connected:

• This is How We Care on instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thisishowwecare
• Revillaging Mama on instagram - https://www.instagram.com/revillagingmama
• This is How We Care on Substack -  https://thisishowwecare.substack.com/
• Revillaging Mama on Substack -  https://substack.com/@emilycares
• Send Emily an email at [email protected]

In this episode of This Is How We Care, we sit down with developmental psychologist and author Dr. Darcia Narvaez to explore what children—and humanity—truly need to thrive.

Drawing from neuroscience, anthropology, Indigenous wisdom, and decades of research, Dr. Narvaez introduces the concept of the Evolved Nest: the caregiving system humans evolved with for 99% of our history—and how far modern culture has drifted from it.

Together, Emily and Darcia unpack how early “undercare” shapes everything from individual anxiety to collective violence, how capitalism and colonization disrupted our natural caregiving systems, and what it looks like to return—without shame—to a more connected, communal, and life-affirming way of raising children.

This conversation weaves together science, spirituality, grief, and hope, offering practical, everyday ways to begin re-nesting ourselves, our families, and our communities—starting now.

This episode covers:

• What the Evolved Nest actually is (and why babyhood matters so much)
• How “undercare” shapes adult disconnection, greed, and burnout
• The role of touch, play, breastfeeding, and communal caregiving
• Why nature connection and music are essential to human regulation
• How the “Wetiko” mindset took hold—and how we heal it
• Why children (and adults) need to be welcomed, not given "independence training"
• How to begin rebuilding village even inside modern life

This episode is an invitation to remember who we are, what we need, and the kind of world our children are asking us to build.

To Connect with Dr. Narvaez: 

• Website: https://nestedworld.org/
• Become a "Nesting Ambassador": https://nestedworld.org/nesting-ambassadors/
• Read "Restoring the Kinship Worldview"
• Read "The Evolved Nest"

To Work with Emily — the Revillaging Mama: 

• Revillage Your Life – A 4-month mentorship container to transform your experience from "isolated" to "supported", bringing to life much of what Darcia speaks about in the importance of community and village
• The Third Space – A community of revillagers bringing the village to life through practice, prayer and play
• The Village Upgrade – A quick upgrade to align your precious resources of time, energy & money with the village you are calling in
• BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY CALL to explore the next layer of support for your revillaging journey

In this conversation with ceremonialist, teen mentor, and soul-centric educator Johannah Reimer, we explore how to bring back the village-held rites of passage that our girls—and all young people—deserve.

Johannah and Emily dive into the developmental arc from childhood to adolescence, the spiritual and biological transitions young girls move through, and the deep cultural poverty created by the loss of elders, ceremony, and shared responsibility. Together, they illuminate a path toward reclaiming ancestral wisdom, building ritual in everyday life, supporting girls through their first blood with reverence, and cultivating the council, community, and belonging every young person is wired for.

This episode covers:

• What rites of passage actually are (and why they matter more than ever)
• How girls experience the shift into maidenhood—and what support they truly need
• The three stages of an initiation + where modern culture gets stuck
• Why adolescence is spiritually and psychologically tender, and why peers alone cannot guide each other
• How council practice builds emotional resilience, listening skills, and community-mindedness
• The danger of raising adults who never move past the adolescent ego
• How to reconnect with your own ancestry to craft culturally-rooted ritual without appropriation
• Simple ways aunties, uncles, elders, and childfree adults can step into village roles
• A practical “next step” anyone can take to begin weaving a more connected culture for youth

To Connect with Johannah: 

• Website: https://wakefulnature.com
• Rekindling the Hearth Series (Seasonal Family Rituals): https://wakefulnature.com/rekindle
• Girls’ Rites of Passage Mentorship & Facilitator Training: https://wakefulnature.com/training

To Work with Emily — the Revillaging Mama: 

• The Third Space – A community of revillagers bringing the village to life through practice, prayer and play
• Revillage Your Life – A 4-month mentorship container to transform your experience from "isolated" to "supported"
• The Village Upgrade – A quick upgrade to align your precious resources of time, energy & money with the village you are calling in 
• BOOK A FREE DISCOVERY CALL to explore the next layer of support for your revillaging journey

In this conversation, Emily Race-Newmark and Kazu Haga explore the themes of nonviolence, community healing, and the importance of conflict as a regenerative force. They discuss the necessity of grief rituals for collective healing, the experience of living in an intentional community, and the various types and levels of conflict. Kazu emphasizes the significance of storytelling and listening in fostering compassion, as well as the need for collective spaces for grief and healing. The discussion also touches on rethinking accountability in the context of violence and the importance of emotional regulation in managing conflict.

FOR CONTINUED PRACTICE:

• Check out Kazu's Fierce Vulnerability Kinship Lab: a 3 month intensive and other offerings on his website 
• Read Healing Resistance and Fierce Vulnerability by Kazu Haga
• Join The Third Space! An online community for revillagers who are putting to practice what we learn on this show, together. In November we are exploring Relational Conflict. 

TO STAY CONNECTED:

• Subscribe to This Is How We Care on Substack for full transcript here.
• Video version of this episode is over at YouTube.
• Follow @ThisIsHowWeCare and @RevillagingMama on Instagram
• Follow @KazuHaga on Instagram and Substack Letters to Beloved Community

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 The Journey to Healing and Social Change

06:17 Collective Trauma and Grief Rituals

08:46 Nonviolent Direct Action and Healing Relationships

11:35 Integrating Trauma into Activism

14:02 Creating Safe Spaces for Racial Healing

16:54 The Role of Community in Conflict Resolution

19:26 Understanding Conflict Types

22:26 Practicing Nonviolence in Daily Life

28:03 Practicing Nonviolence: Building New Defaults

30:17 Vision for Future Generations: A World of Belonging

32:33 Understanding Conflict: The Role of Storytelling

36:22 Tools for Emotional Regulation and Healing

39:53 Creating Safe Spaces for Grief and Healing

42:00 Facilitating Difficult Conversations: Skills and Structures

45:58 Rethinking Accountability: From Punishment to Healing

49:35 Navigating Conflict: Understanding Levels and Responses

52:03 Conflict Journaling: A Practice for Reflection

In the Season 3 opener of 'This Is How We Care', host Emily Race-Newmark reflects on the uncertainty of this time in history and the importance of community, especially in parenting. She shares about her personal journey of "revillaging" — of bringing the village paradigm back to life — and how the previous seasons of this how highlights this importance in addressing the multi-crises of our times. Emily emphasizes the significance of understanding what future generations need from us and invites listeners to engage in this transformative journey together.

TO STAY CONNECTED:

• Check out www.revillagingmama.com 
• Subscribe to the newsletter to stay in the loop with latest offerings 
• Read more about my revillaging reflections on my Substack, Emily Cares
• Full transcript for this episode here
• Video version of this episode is over at YouTube
• Follow @ThisIsHowWeCare and @RevillagingMama on Instagram
• Join The Third Space! An online community for revillagers who are putting to practice what we learn on this show, together 

00:00  Welcome Back and Reflections on Change

02:44  The Importance of Community in Parenting

05:42   Revillaging: A New Identity and Path

08:50   Podcast Evolution and Listener Engagement

11:54   Vision for the Future and Collective Responsibility

14:37   Grounding Practices and Closing Thoughts

community, parenting, revillaging, podcast, motherhood, parenthood, uncertainty, connection, support, future generations, interconnection

In the season finale of the This is How We Care podcast, we reflect on the journey we've taken together, exploring the concept of collective care and envisioning new possibilities for our world. This episode is designed to resonate with both long-time listeners and newcomers, offering a comprehensive recap through the lens of five main topics: health, economy, environment, relationships, and raising children.

You can find full transcripts, links, and other information on our website.

In this episode, Hilary Giovale—author of Becoming A Good Relative: Calling White Settlers Toward Truth, Healing and Repair—aids us in exploring the complexities of “whiteness”. From the emotions tied to this identity to the journey of rekindling ancestral memory. Hilary provides us with insights into how we can all become good relatives by learning to listen, slow down, and engage in reciprocal relationships. 

You can find full transcripts, links, and other information on our website.

In this Grounding Practice, Hilary Giovale—author of Becoming A Good Relative: Calling White Settlers Toward Truth, Healing and Repair—guides us through a meditation to connect with our ancestors. This journey reminds us of our ancestors' sacred relationships with the land.  

You can find full transcripts, links, and other information on our website.

In this episode, Vanessa Roanhorse—CEO and Portfolio Lead of Roanhorse Consulting and co-founder of Native Women Lead—helps us to understand how we can learn a new worldview on the economy from Indigenous peoples, especially women while utilizing the concept of rematriation—rebuilding our relationship with the world and Mother Earth that surrounds us. We discuss a new definition of wealth based on individuals having access to home, food, and healthcare.

You can find full transcripts, links, and other information on our website.

In this Grounding Practice, Vanessa Roanhorse—CEO and Portfolio Lead of Roanhorse Consulting and co-founder of Native Women Lead—leads us through a box breathing exercise used to relieve stress and help move the nervous system out of fight or flight mode by bringing the focus to the breath. 

You can find full transcripts, links, and other information on our website.