This Is My Teacher. What Is My Lesson?

What if the most important lessons in our lives come from the people and experiences we would never have chosen?

In this episode of Growing Up Late, I explore a question that has fundamentally changed the way I move through the world:

This is my teacher. What is my lesson?

Using the ancient story of the Taoist farmer as a guide, I reflect on the mentors, critics, adversaries, disappointments, and life events that shaped me in ways I never expected. Some of my teachers arrived carrying flowers. Others showed up with flamethrowers.

Along the way, I share:

• What a "frenemy" taught me about finding truth inside criticism
• The mentor who became a teacher in more ways than she intended
• A surprising lesson about boundaries, relationships, and the difference between healthy limits and cutting people off
• How standing my ground in the face of public criticism helped me discover my own authority
• The lessons hidden inside divorce, financial collapse, loneliness, and reinvention
• Why curiosity is often more useful than judgment

I've spent much of my life deciding whether events were good news or bad news. These days, I'm less certain.

What if the question isn't whether something is good or bad?

What if the better question is:

What is this here to teach me?

Key Takeaways

• Some of our greatest teachers arrive in packaging we would immediately return.
• Criticism may contain a small piece of truth worth keeping.
• Every teacher teaches more than they intend.
• Growth often happens when we stop defending our ego and become teachable.
• Life's most difficult experiences can leave behind unexpected gifts.
• We don't always get to choose our teachers, but we do get to choose whether we learn.

Reflection Question

Think about a person or experience you've labeled as difficult, unfair, disappointing, or painful.

If that person or situation was your teacher...

What might the lesson be?