This is Your Life

I am on sabbatical for the next few weeks. While I am gone, I am running a series of “Encore Episodes.” These are my most popular podcasts ever, as measured by number of downloads. Enjoy!

Inside your head and mine, there is a narrator. He or she is constantly telling us stories. These stories shape how we perceive reality.

In fact, if we don’t intervene, these stories can shape our destiny for the worse. Or, if we are intentional and take control of the narrative, these stories can shape our destiny for good.

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You can change your life by changing your story.  There are five ways you can take control of the narrative in your head.

Recognize the voice in your head.

Jot down what the voice is saying.

Evaluate whether this story is empowering.

Write down a different story.

Start telling yourself the new story.

Listener Questions

Jana Botkin asked, “How can I tell the difference between telling myself a story of delusional optimism and the truth?”

Julie Sunne asked, “My inner narrator often take me in a million different directions. Can you offer some pointers for focusing our inner stories?”

Mary DeMuth asked, “When you are living your story and continue to do the same thing over and over again, getting the same crummy result, how do you encourage yourself to think differently and stop doing that thing that's not working?”

Noah Coley asked, “What is your best advice for helping someone understand that they can be the authors of their own story rather than simply reacting to a story that's been given to them?”

Russ Hess asked, "Is there a practical way to refocus the meaning we associate with the various events of our lives to lead us to a greater sense of fulfillment?"

Rob Ketterling asked "Why do you think we work so hard to avoid the change rather than make the change?”

Bobby Warren asked, “How important is faith in changing your story?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.

This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

The Launch Conference for this fall is filling up fast. In case you don’t know, this is the conference for professional speakers or those who want to be. It’s all about the business of public speaking.

Specifically, we teach you a powerful, four-part framework designed to help you:

Discover your assets.

Design your products.

Develop your market.

Determine your value.

This is the conference that launched me into my professional speaking career. We will be holding the conference on September 16–19, 2013 in beautiful Vail, Colorado.

This is one conference that will pay for itself almost immediately. I paid for mine in the first month after I attended.

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

Post:

I am on sabbatical for the next few weeks. While I am gone, I am running a series of “Encore Episodes.” These are my most popular podcasts ever, as measured by number of downloads. Enjoy!

In this episode, I talk about the benefits of keeping a journal. I also share my own practice and offer a few tips. Whether you have never journaled, need a little motivation to keep going, or are just curious about what others do, I think you will find this episode helpful.

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Between blog posts, podcast show prep, courses, speeches, and books, I typically write several thousand words a week. However, I have never been a consistent journaler. I tried. I had friends who swore by it. It just never worked for me, until recently.

On our vacation last summer, my wife, Gail, challenged me to give it another try. I reluctantly agreed and fell in love with it. I have now journaled daily for more than six months.

If I had to sum it up, I would say journaling has afforded me seven benefits.

Process previous events

Clarify my thinking

Understand the context

Notice my feelings

Connect with my heart

Record significant lessons

Ask important questions

When I started journaling, I did it the old fashioned way. I kept my journal in a physical notebook. I happen to use an EcoSystems Journal. However, I am not the best at writing lots of text by hand. The legibility of my writing deteriorates quickly.

On day three of my journaling experience, I stumbled upon a software program called DayOne. This is a beautiful minimalist writing tool that reminds me a lot of ByWord, the program I use to do much of my blog writing.

About a month ago, I started using Evernote for my journaling. Several people had suggested this from the beginning, and I finally saw the wisdom of it. It makes all my journal entries readily available when I search for a topic, making my notes available for blog posts, speeches, books, etc.

Regardless, there are a thousand different ways to keep a journal. Don’t get hung up on the method or the software. The most important thing to do is just to start.

Listener Questions

Aaron Johnson asked, “Some people just can’t seem to journal. Are there other ways people can engage in the process of self-reflection?”

Bud Brown asked, “How do you flag pages in your journal, so you can get back to the important stuff?”

Christopher Scott asked, “How do you catalog or keep track of previous journal entries?”

Lynn Morrissey asked, “Is journaling scriptural or should Christians be wary of it as a New Age practice for self-exploration?”

Jackie Ulmer asked, “Is your journal more of a Cliff Notes summary of the events of your life or is it super-detailed?”

Jason Jones asked, “Is there a benefit to paper journaling?”

Kwin Peterson asked, “For whom do you Journal? Who is the audience you envision?”

Linda Kuhar asked, “When you are journaling, how do you keep yourself from lapsing into performance-mode and writing for an audience?”

I am on sabbatical for the next few weeks. While I am gone, I am running a series of “Encore Episodes.” These are my most popular podcasts ever, as measured by number of downloads. Enjoy!

Steven Pressfield coined this phrase to describe that invisible, destructive force that opposes you any time you try to start a new project or make an improvement in any area of your life.

I spoke on this topic at the recent Platform Conference, and the response was tremendous. So I wanted to share some practical counter-measures for dealing with the Resistance in your own life and work.

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In order to deal with the Resistance, you have to first understand what it is. It has four attributes.

Attribute #1: It is invisible.

Attribute #2: It is internal.

Attribute #3: It is insidious.

Attribute #4: It is infallible.

But what can you do about it?

You can only defeat the Resistance by understanding its three primary strategies and applying appropriate countermeasures.

Strategy #1: Fear. The typical response to this strategy is procrastination.The countermeasure is to START.

Strategy #2: Uncertainty. The typical response is distraction.The countermeasure is to FOCUS.

Strategy #3: Doubt. This usually occurs at the end of a project, and the typical response is to quit and leave the work unfinished.The countermeasure is to FINISH.

Defeating the Resistance is essential to your growth, but more importantly it is essential to your transformation. Who you are becoming is more important than what you are doing.

Listener Questions

Jeff Sanders asked, “How do you keep your own creativity from becoming another form of the Resistance?”

Jen McDonough asked, “What kinds of outside things do you bring into your life to help fight the resistance?

Joanna Holman asked, “How do you know what you are facing is Resistance rather than a sign that what you are doing is not the right thing for you or you are doing too much and need to back off?”

Marc Schelske asked, “What has helped you to stop the cycle of perfectionism and get the product out the door?”

Sue Detweiler asked, “What are ways that we personally create Resistance and sabotage our own progress?”

Travis Dommert asked, “How does the Resistance work in the presence of a group?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.

This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

The Launch Conference for this fall is filling up fast. In case you don’t know, this is the conference for professional speakers or those who want to be. It’s all about the business of public speaking.

Specifically, we teach you a powerful, four-part framework designed to help you:

Discover your assets.

Design your products.

Develop your market.

Determine your value.

I am on sabbatical for the next few weeks. While I am gone, I am running a series of “Encore Episodes.” These are my most popular podcasts ever, as measured by number of downloads. Enjoy!

The topic of discipline is always relevant, since most of us struggle to achieve our goals and avoid the distractions of modern life. In this podcast, I share five specific steps to develop more of it.

If you’re like me, you struggle with discipline. You have great intentions, but just as you get a little momentum, something derails you.

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My friend Andy Andrews asks this question, “Can you make yourself do something you don’t want to do in order to get a result you really want?”

Over the years, I have found that I can become disciplined in any area of my life by taking five specific steps. Whether it is trying to get in shape, maintain a blog, or develop a great marriage, the psychology is the same.

Determine your goal. Your goals need to be S.M.A.R.T. (I have written in-depth about that here.) This is an acronym that provides a checklist for making sure that what you have is indeed a goal and not merely an aspiration. It stands for:

Specific

Measurable

Actionable

Realistic

Time-bound

List your reasons

Identify likely obstacles.

Develop new behaviors.

Stay focused.

Listener Questions

Rebecca Livemore asked, “How do you differentiate between a lack of discipline and a legitimate need for rest?”

Brad Blackman asked, “Would you recommend adding only one discipline at a time or is it okay to try and add multiple disciplines?”

Aslam Najeebdeen asked, “I find I often abandon my new habits after four or five days. What are some tips for keeping the new habit going?”

Derek Duncan asked, “As a Christian, how do we allow for grace in the practice of discipline?”

 Julie Welles asked “I’m struggling with my blog. How do you discipline yourself to write so prolifically?”

 Tessa Hartiman asked, “How important is developing discipline for novice writers?”

 Paul Lundberg asked, “I love scheduling and planning. I’m pretty good at planning. But I am not good at all when it comes to executing the day or week I’ve planned. How can I stay more focused on what I have planned to do?”

Todd Liles asked, “How do you discipline yourself when you are absolutely dog-tired?”

Victor Manzanilla asked, “What is a ‘keystone habit’ (a la The Power of Habit) for your spiritual life?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.

This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

I speak a lot on the topic of platform-building. Inevitably, during the Q&A time following my speech, I get asked, “How can I find time for social media? I am so busy now. I can’t imagine adding one more thing.”

I understand this feeling. However, if you want to leverage your leadership and increase your impact, you must make time for social media.

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 In this episode I want to share with you four tips for finding time for social media.

Reframe the activity.

Set reasonable goals.

Schedule time to do it.

Use the latest tools.

You can be active in social media and still have plenty of time for your other activities.

Listener Questions

Alex Barker asked, “How can busy leaders authentically engage with their followers?”

Bosede Santos asked, “How can I juggle all my various social media accounts, blog, and still find time to write a book?"

Lori Lane asked, “What parts of our social media activities can be delegated without losing our authentic voice?"

Vincent Duncombe asked, “Where should social media rank on our priorities?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

The Launch Conference for this fall is filling up fast. In case you don’t know, this is the conference for professional speakers or those who want to be. It’s all about the business of public speaking.Specifically, we teach you a powerful, four-part framework designed to help you:

Discover your assets.

Design your products.

Develop your market.

Determine your value.

This is the conference that launched me into my professional speaking career. We will be holding the conference on September 16–19 in beautiful Vail Colorado.

This is one conference that will pay for itself almost immediately. I paid for mine in the first month after I attended.

If you register before June 30, 2013, you can take $200 off the registration price. Just use the discount code HYATT.

I am on sabbatical for the next few weeks. While I am gone, I am running a series of “Encore Episodes.” These are my most popular podcasts ever, as measured by number of downloads. Enjoy!

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

Conference: Launch Conference

Membership Site: Platform University

Screencast: How to Launch a Self-Hosted WordPress Blog in 20 Minutes or Less

Software:

My wife, Gail, and I have been married for thirty-five years. She is my lover, my best friend, and my coach. But a few months ago we had a doozy of a fight.

As I was reflecting on that experience, I thought to myself, How can we avoid slipping into this same conflict in the future?

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I want to share five lessons I jotted down from that experience. I believe they apply in any situation—even work—where you are trying to resolve a conflict.

Clarify our expectations up front.

Assume the best about each other.

Affirm the priority of the relationship.

De-personalize the problem.

Listen more than you talk.

What does a fight with my wife have to do with leadership? Well, as it turns out, everything. If you can’t lead yourself, you can’t lead others. And if you can’t learn to manage conflict with those closest to you, you can't possibly expect to manage it with those who have less of a stake in the outcome.

Listener Questions

Amanda Vosloh asked, “If and when is it appropriate for married couples working in the same field to market and promote themselves together?”

Charles Pobee-Mensah asked, “How do you view a husband’s role as different from that of a wife in a marriage?”

Kevin Bemel asked, “What do you see as the differences between leading a family and leading a business?”

Steve Spillman asked, “How do you and Gail discuss and perhaps disagree about a business matter without it affecting your personal relationship?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.

This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

The Launch Conference for this fall is filling up fast. In case you don’t know, this is the conference for professional speakers or those who want to be. It’s all about the business of public speaking.

Specifically, we teach you a powerful, four-part framework designed to help you:

Discover your assets;

Design your products;

Develop your market; and

Determine your value.

This is the conference that launched me into my professional speaking career. We will be holding the conference on September 16–19 in beautiful Vail Colorado.

This is one conference that will pay for itself almost immediately. I paid for mine in the first month after I attended.

My next podcast will be on the topic of “How Do Busy Leaders Find Time for Social Media?” If you have a question on this subject, please leave me a voicemail message. This is a terrific way to cross-promote your blog or website, because I will link to it, just like I did with the callers in this episode.

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

Book:

Though we live in a very exciting time in history, it is filled with distractions. Regardless, you and I still have to get real work done. That requires focus.

But what if mental focus is not something you either have or don’t have? What if it’s something you could create, on-demand, whenever you need it?

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Here are ten tactics I use to create more mental focus when I need it:

Block off time on your calendar.

Isolate yourself in a quiet place.

Turn the room temperature down.

Get comfortable.

Take email and social media software offline.

Put on music that helps facilitate concentration.

Have something on-hand to drink.

Avoid high glycemic carbohydrates.

Set mini-goals.

Set a timer and take predetermined breaks.

In a world of distraction and competing demands, mental focus is a scarce yet precious commodity. If you want more of it, you will have to be intentional about getting it.

Listener Questions

Alex Barker asked, “How do you regain mental focus after a long day at work and then with the family?”

Joseph Consford asked, “How do I keep from getting side-tracked from rabbit trails of my own making?”

Paul Hunt asked, “How do I keep my mental focus on the project at hand when I really would rather be working on something else?"

Sharad Verma asked, “How do you focus when you are forced to multi-task?”

Timothy Moser asked, “Do you have any tips for increasing focus when trying to read in the midst of distractions?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform—or just getting serious about it—you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog.

This is not as complicated as it sounds. In fact, I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

The Launch Conference for this fall is filling up fast. In case you don’t know, this is the conference for professional speakers or those who want to be. It’s all about the business of public speaking.

Specifically, we teach you a powerful, four-part framework that enables you to:

Discover your assets;

Design your products;

Develop your market; and

Determine your value.

This is the conference that launched me into my professional speaking career. We will be holding the conference on September 16–19 in beautiful Vail Colorado.

This is one conference that will pay for itself almost immediately. I paid for mine in the first month after I attended.

My next podcast will be on the topic of “What I Learned About Leadership from a Fight with My Wife.” If you have a question on this subject, please leave me a voicemail message. This is a terrific way to cross-promote YOUR blog or website, because I will link to it, just like I did with the callers in this episode.

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

App:

As a leader, what do you do when you have an employee or a colleague who disrespects you in front of your team? What do you do when this employee is a top performer and one of your supervisor’s favorites?

Confronting these people is never easy. However, it is essential if you are going to create a healthy organizational culture that drives the results you want.

Click to Listen

Here are five actions you must take if you are going to retain credibility with your team and move your organization forward.

Action #1: Get clear in your own thinking.

Action #2: Count the cost.

Action #3: Secure your supervisor’s support.

Action #4: Confront the disrespectful employee.

Action #5: Give him some time to think about it.

This is the tough stuff of leadership that no one wants to discuss. But it is the necessary stuff. You can’t develop people and take them to the next level unless you are willing to speak into their lives—for their benefit and for your team.

Listener Questions

Christy Tennant Krispin asked, “How do you work in a situation where something might be disrespectful in one culture but not in another?”

Joe Consford asked, “How do you deal with a co-worker who is being disrespectful, but the team leader is unaware of it?”

Kwin Peterson asked, “Why do these kinds of conversations intimidate me so much?”

Michael Moak asked, “How do you deal with disrespectful team members when they are related to the boss or they are older than you?”

Tom Skilling asked, “How do you confront disrespectful team members when they are volunteers?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform, you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog. This is not as complicated as it sounds.

In fact, I have put together an absolutely free step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it. You don’t need any technical knowledge. I walk you through the entire process in exactly 20 minutes.

The Launch Conference for this fall is continuing to fill up. If you don’t know, this is THE conference for professional speakers or those who want to be.

It’s all about the business of public speaking. This is the conference that launched me into my professional speaking career. We will be holding the conference on September 16–19 in beautiful Vail Colorado. This is one conference that will pay for itself almost immediately. Check it out.

My next podcast will be on the topic of “How to Create More Mental Focus.” I will share 10 tactics I use to be more productive and more effective. If you have a question on this subject, please leave me a voicemail message. This is a terrific way to cross-promote YOUR blog or website, because I will link to it, just like I did with the callers in this episode.

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources,

We all want to be successful. But when it comes to success, your advisors can make you or break you.

As a leader, one of the most important steps you must take is assembling an informal team of trusted advisors. They can help you take advantage of the opportunities coming your way—and avoid the biggest mistakes you will inevitably encounter.

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I once made a terrible choice in selecting an advisor. It nearly cost me everything. In the process, I learned four hard but important lessons.

1. Lesson #1: You can’t succeed alone.

2. Lesson #2: You need trusted advisors.

3. Lesson #3: You need multiple advisors.

4. Lesson #4: You need qualified advisors.

Think of your advisors as your “personal board of directors.” They will give you the accountability and insight necessary to avoid a lot of pain and achieve more than you could on your own.

Listener Questions

Adam Rico asked, “How do you initiate a mentoring relationship with someone you have identified as a possible advisor?”

Ben Nelson asked, “When you are looking for advisors, are you looking for specialists or well-rounded generalists?”

Dean Deguara asked, “What are some of the ‘trust-tests’ your advisors have to go through before they can work with you?”

Richard Manchur asked, “How can I find a group of trusted advisors in a niche I am trying to transition into?”

Travis Allison asked, “Do you think people’s advisors from their industry or outside their industry?”

Special Announcements

I want to remind you about my 21-session audio course, entitle "Get Published." If you have ever thought about writing a book, but didn’t know where to start; or if you already have a book, but want to do everything you can to make the biggest splash you can in the marketplace, this course will give you the tools you need to make it happen.

I have a number of speaking engagements over the next few weeks. Visit my speaking page for information on those events or if you are interested in having me speak to your organization or at your event.

My next podcast will be on the topic of “Why You Must Confront Seemingly Indispensable but Disrespectful Team Members.” If you have a question on this subject, please leave me a voicemail message. This is a terrific way to cross-promote your blog or website, because I will link to it, just like I did with the callers in this episode.

Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

Course: Get Published

Conference: Biola Digital Conference

Conference: Interpret America Conference

Conference: She Speaks Conference

Website: Platform Universit...

It’s been said “leaders read and readers lead.” If that’s true, then reading is one of the most important things you can do to grow your leadership. But how do you get better at it and retain more of what you read?

Recently, my wife, Gail, and I had dinner with some close, neighborhood friends. As we always do with this group, we soon began discussing books.

Click to Listen

A few minutes into the discussion, Gail asked, “So how do each of you read a book? What are your practices?” What a great question.

For the next forty-five minutes everyone shared their best practices. I picked up some great tips.

Since that time, I’ve had a chance to think about this a little more. I have developed a list of ten best practices for better reading. I think these can help you make your reading even more valuable.

Here they are:

Don't feel that you need to finish.

Start with the author bio.

Read the table of contents.

Quickly scan the whole book.

Highlight important passages.

Take notes in front or in the margin.

Use a set of note-taking symbols.

Dog-ear (or bookmark) pages you want to revisit.

Review the book and transfer actions to a to-do list.

Share the book's message.

If you are convinced reading is important, then be intentional. Like everything else in life, the more thoughtful and deliberate you are with your approach, the more you will get out of it.

Listener Questions

Andrew Mason asked, “How do you retain all the stuff you are learning?”

Brad Blackman asked, “Do you use post-it notes to flag important passages?”

Brent Dumler asked, “What would recommend for someone with dyslexia who has trouble finishing books?”

Christian Monzon asked, “Am I doing myself a disservice by not making time for more fiction?”

Christopher Scott asked, “How can I read college textbooks faster and with better retention?”

Esther Aspling asked, “Can you recommend a site for good reviews that will help me find better non-fiction books?”

Jim Chandler asked, “What system do you use to queue and read books?”

Joshua Beck asked, “How do you decide what books to read?

Les Kerr asked, “Is there a happy medium between reading fiction and non-fiction?”

Matt McWilliams asked, “How do you thoroughly digest the content to make sure you get everything you can out of it?”

Pete Dahlem asked, “What do you do to help the people you mentor to grow and get to the next level?”

Travis Dommert asked, “How much of an author’s content can I use in a book summary without violating his or her copyright?”

Special Announcements

If you are considering launching your own platform, you need to start with a self-hosted WordPress blog. This is not as complicated as it sounds. I have put together a step-by-step screencast on exactly how to do it.

I also include a special discount code just for my podcast listeners and blog readers. It will enable you to get a hosting account for just $3.95 a month.