Maddie and I are debriefing two wildly unhinged nights: I brought a younger guy home, filmed something I absolutely shouldn’t have (bong and 1942 included), did a drunk lingerie try-on (not sexy, I promise), and woke up hungover enough to reconsider my entire personality. He then politely listed my “red flags,” which included wall graffiti that says “fuck my ex,” a PR mountain, and an open tequila bottle by my bed. Fair.

Maddie’s Super Bowl Sunday somehow spiraled harder: bar-hopping, accidentally summoning her ex, Ubering to his family home, and meeting his mom while blackout... yeah. The anxiety the next morning? Unspeakable.

We also saw Kim Kardashian in the wild. We're a walking liability. We’re not proud, but it’s for the plot.

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