apple, meet fabulous, stylish, iconic tree.

boots is back and my mom and i get into basically everything: her shopping habits, confidence advice she's been giving me my whole life that i'm finally starting to actually listen to, and what she thinks about me sharing my entire personal life on the internet. she also has thoughts on saving money in your 20s and i hate to say she's not wrong.

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academic hotties only!!!! i walked across the stage hungover, in sunglasses, and received a fake diploma, but my dad wasted absolutely no time cutting me off from his amex as a grad present <3

the weekend included 6am tequila shots, a party bus, a barbecue that became a different party, a long nobu dinner with my parents, a friend leaving on a private jet, and my ex showing up to the bar in a winnie the pooh outfit. i don't have an explanation for that last one.

basically: i graduated... kinda! i promise i'll explain.

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i have a final on my actual birthday so we're celebrating early and i fully demanded my friends throw me a surprise party. yes i demanded a surprise. no i don't see the issue.

maddie's back and we're debriefing arizona. allie's sober roommate banged on the bathroom door, confronted us, and then mid-argument stopped, packed a bag, booked a flight, and left. i defended allie. no regrets.

we also get into jealousy, why the people who actually root for you are so rare, and why you should hold onto them when you find them. and next week? get ready for the real b-day debrief.

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i have a saturday 5pm final. on my birthday. i'm also potentially getting a zero on a midterm and there are lawyers involved. we'll circle back to that.

also i'm banned from staying at ally's place in tucson because her roommate found out i slept with her ex after coachella. which, first of all, we need to talk about how territorial people are about men they are no longer dating... sorry!

basically: graduating with a sub 2.0, still a 10. 

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you guys know i don't do guests often, but when riley jane saurage gives you her podcast virginity, you cannot take it lightly.

we get into what it actually does to you when you've been on the internet long enough that you start second guessing everything you say, how college is a completely different experience when girls already have an opinion about you before you walk in the room, and why being perceived is genuinely one of the scariest things that exists.

i ask her about jane doh, her love story with her bf, and how tf we're gonna make it through festival szn. it's a good one!!

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this was my third coachella. my first weekend one. my first time going as an influencer. i did not act like an influencer.

i was blacked out all three days, got escorted out of the artist section, stole peanut butter pretzels from a random person's tent, screamed "wait but i'm davis roe" when my band wouldn't scan, and squirted the do lab water gun directly at people instead of in the air. my manager had thoughts. i was still drunk when she called.

also... i brought home a souvenir. yes it was a boy. no we don't have to talk about it. (he was still there wednesday morning when my ex showed up unannounced. i then went to coffee with my ex and told him everything. normal wednesday).

also i missed half of pawsa set and i'm still thinking about it.

basically: i said i was going to work coachella. i did not work coachella. coachella worked me.

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maddie's back and we're doing rapid fire q&a.

we obviously cover the important stuff: ideal pregame order, what to do when your ex is stalking your stories, why going out together basically guarantees a blackout, and the california pesticide plane conspiracy (yes really).

basically: you asked. we answered. mostly.

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skipped cabo, went to hawaii, took mushrooms at a luau. fun, but would not recommend.

a freshman dorm party, friends blacking out, getting recognized while holding someone's hair back, giving a fan a trophy wife wallet and then awkwardly handing her $5, and a taco bell mukbang that should not have been filmed but was.

i'm now on a flight to LA, then a red-eye to florida, hair in sarasota, an exam somewhere in there, and coachella is next week and i'm going with outcast (i'm actually geeked). i have a lot of thoughts about GA vs. VIP that i need to get off my chest.

basically: hawaii was a lot. i regret nothing... almost nothing

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maddie's back (obviously) and we're saying the quiet part out loud. we're talking alix earle's skincare launch (the teaser account, the slow burn buildup, why she can do no wrong in our eyes) vs. alex cooper's hannah montana special that neither of us knew had already come out (oops?). that somehow that spiraled into the full alex cooper discourse, alabama barker flying out friends and what that says about trust, and whether alix's reality show is going to hit different than the d'amelio era or just feel like the same thing.

oh, also i'm going to hawaii. yes i know. we'll talk about it later.

basically: we have thoughts, some of them are about real people, and we're sorry in advance.

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Crossed happened. Two days. I blacked out, lost my boots at security, cried about something small (hot dog related, moving on), and somehow made it back for Dom Dolla who absolutely redeemed the whole weekend.

But what I actually need to talk about is what people were wearing.

I'm rating festival fits from the weekend — the pashminas, the braids, the thrifted tops, the Jaded London pieces, the Amazon pink boots that had no business being there. Some looks were giving. Some looks were a threat. All of them are getting a verdict.

We also get into my Morocco camel moment, a storytime about a girl who called my ex the wrong name to my face and then I found out why she knew him, and why I'm leaving for Hawaii despite everything while somehow also not having processed that I'm graduating.

Basically: the fashion was unhinged, the festival was chaotic, and I have a lot of feelings about both.

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