On your feet, soldier! Don’t you know there’s a war on?! We’ve got to get to the front lines of the internet ASAP. And when we get there, I’m gonna personally shoot that shitposting son of a bitch!

As it goes online, people are wont to lie. This is true whether posting about their sex power, their cheevos, their magickal prowess, and, most pertinent to today, their exploits on the battlefield. Today, the good fight is fought not just on foreign soil, but in our very malls! That’s right, the mall security guard just got a promotion and some can be found with training sufficient to take on black ops missions and face off with the yakuza.

What? Does this sound like utter bullshit to you? You clearly just don’t understand the price of freedom.

This week, Extra Credit has two quarters set on the Mortal Kombat cabinet.