Chokers! Bug invasions! Taylor Swift-branded Swiffers! Evolutionary psychology dating advice! Roma Downey! Red pills! Blue pills! All the pills! Analysis of all these topics and more can be yours, if you simply hit "play" on this new episode of This American Vag.

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We're back!!! I know, I'm surprised, too! Anyway, strap yourself in for a half-hour of weird bugs, weird dreams, weird phone calls to Con Ed, weird things you can do with a face scrubber, and other stuff we'll probably eventually regret talking about in a public forum. Also, please follow our dumb Twitter accounts and also read our tumblr at the following interweb addresses:

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If you're looking to learn more about useless scientific studies, the Real Housewives of Ghost Hunting, Drew Barrymore's vineyard, or the pleasantly brain-cell-destroying qualities of Pinterest, then buddy, you are in the right place!

And if you don't want to know more about anything of those things, well, just get out of my sight. Okay? Get out of my sight and take your Blu-Ray copy of VARSITY BLUES with you!!

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What was that, honey? Where do podcasts come from?

Well, sometimes, when two people love each other very much, they make a podcast together, where they discuss vampire-themed family restaurants, creepy anti-abortion billboards, grandma-based dating advice, and the lady who runs the laundromat.

Does that answer your question, sweetie? No?? Aren't they supposed to be teaching this stuff in school nowadays?

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Hello lovers! We're finally back in the saddle again, with THIS AMERICAN VAG EPISODE 4!

And please hold on to your scrunchies, because we have created, especially for you, a half-hour's worth of material about the bizarrely cruel 1980s board game, Girl Talk! If you've always wanted to play a rousing game of "Girl Talk or Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections?", or hear about the failed "Girl Talk" TV show starring a young Sarah Michelle Gellar, come aboard! And if you don't, I have nothing to say to you (you monster).

Also we are on iTunes now and stuff!

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Look what we have for you! A mini-episode of This American Vag!

Awwww, it's so cute and tiny and full of thoughts on the relationship between My Little Ponies and vajazzling! Plus, we take our first-ever Pinterest challenge--in the battle between the Vagers and a cocktail made of wine and Sprite, who will win???

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(note: yes, we know this episode has sound ish--it is outtakes from our first ep. we've totally fixed the sound problems for all future eps)