cw: mention of diet culture/restrictive eating, mention of food insecurity

I don’t know if you’ve noticed but whenever I’m writing about something sad in my journal as a missionary, there’s always some sort of faithful spin, some positive element, some way to see God’s hand in it all. This was a learned, cultural response. I didn’t just make this up on my own—I knew that part of being a valiant example of Christ, a light on the hill, was showing my faith through my absolute belief in God’s plan and will and timing. Today I’m starting things off with a reflection on the Mormon tendency to avoid feeling grief and loss, from regular daily life to the big moments like funerals.

In week forty-four my journal entries include reprimanding myself for putting off God’s instructions for our area, blaming myself for being too negative, and reminding myself to be diligent—aka, obedient and positive—every single day.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

LDS General Handbook: 29.5 Funeral Services (Where Customary)

Alyssa Grenfell: The Dark World of Mormon Funerals

Learn More: 

Heidi Priebe: What to do About Heartbreak (Grief)

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #southdakotarapidcitymission #NdbM #northdakotabismarckmission #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister #mormonmissionary #deconstruction