cw: swearing; mention of sexual assaults, violence, threats of violence; discussion of systemic enslavement and abuse of Indigenous people; discussion of discrimination against and harmful stereotypes of Indigenous people

As a Sister Missionary I believed the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, MY Church, was an entirely positive force for good in the world, and that included the Church’s relationship with Indigenous Americans. Today I am working on setting the record straight by sharing a small portion of Church history they never taught me—how the Mormon Church harmed Indigenous people in the past, and how it continues to harm people today. I’ll give examples of how contemporary Prophets spoke about Indigenous people, as well as the practices they initiated and endorsed as head of the Church.  I will conclude with an honest account from our own time, sharing the words of an Exmormon Native American woman.

In week forty, my journal entries include celebrating the 4th of July with the added miracle of intuiting God’s ban on missionaries attending the rodeo, receiving the sweetest praise for my Christlike example of “loving others more than I love myself” and “never stopping to care for myself,” and finally, missing a much-yearned for temple Endowment session but, through the grace of God, getting a chance to learn a big spiritual lesson and have things work out for the best anyway.

Protect Missing & Murdered Indigenous People: https://www.niwrc.org/donate 

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(Write in the notes to send this towards today’s featured guest and I will get it to her, and if I can’t get in touch with her I will send the money instead to the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center)

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Her original post: Reddit, “Exmo Native American here” 

1852 Utah Legislative Session, Brigham Young, p. 108-110 

1960 General Conference, Spencer W. Kimball, “The Day of the Lamanites” 

Wikipedia: LDS Indian Placement Program

Wikipedia: Native American People and Mormonism

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

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#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister #NoMoreMMIW #NoMoreMMIP #MMIW #MMIP 

I open today’s episode with a reflection on my loss of community. I wish the rituals around life milestones that I grew up with were for everyone, rather than only for the worthy in-group. One of the devastating realities of losing faith in Mormonism is the included loss of community, due to the church’s essential theological teachings that those who leave the faith are unredeemable and corrupted.

In week thirty-nine, my journal entries include reuniting with my trainer as she stops by to say hi on her mission tour, writing a talk for Sacrament Meeting that explains why missionary work is so important, and smiling through the awkward meeting of a fake “fellow Saint” from a different branch of Mormonism.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: discussion of emergency weather (tornadoes, thunder storm)

From primary and onwards, LDS Church goers are consistently reminded to obey their church leaders to find safety, happiness, and freedom. I kick things off today with a quick overview of the messaging missionaries get on this topic, and then of course I have to talk about how I think always following your church leaders is a terribly unhealthy practice.

In week thirty-eight, my journal entries include celebrating my twentieth birthday, repeatedly gaslighting my companion that things were actually fine and great, and leaving a safe basement during an active tornado warning due to my absolute confidence in my Mission President’s counsel.

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Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Ronald A. Rasband:  Standing with the Leaders of the Church

Missionary “White” Handbook: Introduction

Preach My Gospel (current edition): Obedience

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: (!!!discussion of church's truth claims, proceed with caution, skip to journal entries if needed) discussion of racism and genocide, mention of r*pe culture, mention of assault rifles, mention of violence against groups

Today I want to begin discussing the deep connection Mormonism has with Native American people. It seems to me that the LDS church came into existence due to racist attitudes meant to justify the genocide of indigenous people, and so we’re learning about the church’s history of historical erasure through media like children’s music (Book of Mormon Stories) and scripture (the Book of Mormon). I’m also giving an intro to the Mound Builders Myth thanks to LDS Discussions, and I’m sharing the perspective of Sarah Newcomb, an exmormon Tsimshian woman. on how all of this “history” affects native people today.

In week thirty-seven, my journal entries include confessing that I have a hard time communicating frustration with my companions, allowing my suffering companion to take a few hours off for a disobedient nap, and rejoicing in the opportunity to clean up a big, ungodly mess.

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Donate: Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, and Two-Spirit People 

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

LDS Discussions: Mound Builder Myth 

Sarah Newcomb: Mormonisms’ Dance With Colonization

LDS Children’s Songbook: Book of Mormon Stories

Learn more: 

National Indigenous Womens’ Resource Center: MMIWR

Mormon Stories Interview: Native American Women and the Lamanite Myth

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: discussion of attitudes around death, mention of violence in scripture

I’m shining a light on how missionaries are prepped with coercive strategies and trained to manipulate! Today we’re learning about one of the goals from the 12-Week Training Program, “I am comfortable with silence as I teach.” I’ll give a glimpse into what this meant for me as a missionary, how I trained other missionaries on the topic, and how silence is actually in real life a very powerful thing that can be used to manipulate you.

In week thirty-six, my journal entries include playing frisbee golf in my first-ever District P-day group activity, attending (virtually) the funeral service for esteemed Apostle Elder L. Tom Perry, and resolving to put my Mission President’s Wife’s phone number on speed dial when I got home.

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Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Preach My Gospel, updated version (mine is old apparently!): Chapter 10

In-Field Training for New Missionaries: The First 12 Weeks

Learn more: 

Heidi Priebe: What To Do About Heartbreaks (Grief)

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: mention of pornography 

Zone Conference is once again upon us, and it’s just as toxic as ever. This week I’m focusing in on the theme of sacrificing yourself to receive the blessings of heaven, except it turns out that sacrificing and suffering can be really bad for people. I turn to the research behind Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, as a basic argument against the idea of suffering as a net positive. And in fact, it turns out that groups asking you to sacrifice is a known element of control in cults. An article by our friend Steven Hassan explains the concept of cognitive dissonance, handily connecting the Mormon Church’s obsession with sacrifice to another method of coercive control. 

In week thirty-five, my journal entries include luxuriating in the freedom we got from having 30 whole minutes on a P-day to wander around a parking lot and have FUN, cheerleading my new greenie through her first day of working through a fast, managing my disappointment when a Memorial Day trench-digging service project was cancelled, and unironically writing, “I’m pretty excited to be a wife & Mom. : )”

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Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

LDS Media Library: Praise to the Man

Phoebe Hall, Brown University: Discussing The Body Keeps the Score 

Steven Hassan, Psychology Today: ⁠Cognitive Dissonance⁠

Learn more: 

Gabor Maté ACES: 5 min video 

American Society for the Positive Care of Children: 10 question ACE quiz  

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: food shaming, discussion of death

As foretold by my Sister Training Leader, I had finally been tasked with one of a missionary’s most important responsibilities—training another missionary. This week I’m discussing the gravitas surrounding the assignment to train, and I’ll also begin exploring the church’s seemingly retired In-Field Training: The First 12 Weeks program.

In week thirty-four, my journal entries include worrying about my new trainee’s refusal to rest as she deals with a cold, playing the piano for a funeral service ran by (gasp!) a paid clergyman, and appreciating my companion’s willingness to get out of and “back” the car in the rain.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Church News: New Missionary In-field Training Extends MTC Experience

That Helpful Reddit Post: Here’s Where “These Practices” Began 

Via the Way Back Machine: In-Field Training for New Missionaries: The First 12 Weeks

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

A few weeks back an infamous talk came up in my journal, and today we’re unpacking it! I present to you "The Fourth Missionary," explained through the lens of psychological tactics used to manipulate and brainwash.

In week thirty-three, my journal entries include giving Sister Feist her final farewell as she returns home with honor, meeting my new companion (my first trainee!), and receiving the inspirational priesthood-blessing-reminder that love is powerful because it lets us change people.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Angelito Malicse How to Spot Mind Manipulation and Brainwashing 

Lawrence E. Corbridge The Fourth Missionary 

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

It’s Mother’s Day on my mission, and so I continue the theme from last week and discuss the LDS Church’s discourse on “the divine role of women.” This week I share general conference addresses that teach what a woman is meant for, what she should aspire to, what will bring her fulfillment, and where she should spend her time. Not surprisingly, these messages linger in my subconscious long after I stopped believing them.

In week thirty-two, my journal entries include talking with my family for the second time on my mission, finally experiencing a big snowstorm (and getting our Jeep stuck in the snow), and receiving inspiration from God in one of his greatest and most common miracles—remembering where I left my camera. ; )

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

1981 LDS General Conference: The Honored Place of Women

2013 LDS General Conference: The Moral Force of Women

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw:  discussion of death and loss

A big result of my missionary experience was quadrupling down on the idea that I needed to GET MARRIED and BE A MOTHER. I’ve been seeing more and more talk about this in my journal, and even in my emails home, so I’ve gotta’ talk about it once again. This week I’m drawing in the wisdom of Margi Dehlin, as she explained how orthodox Mormon teachings and culture harmed her over her life as a young woman, wife, and mother. I know this episode is a little longer but I think it’s worth listening to! 

In week thirty-one, my journal entries include returning to a regular two-by-two companionship after weeks in a trio, getting a chance to sing with my “real voice,” and doubling down with fasting and thought-stopping after a particularly frustrating day.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Margi Dehlin: Coming Home to Myself 

Sonia Johnson: From Housewife to Heretic (p. 72)

LDS Church: Missionary Handbook (p. 31)

Correction! Exponent II and its origins 

BYU Library: 1st published article of original Exponent

Exponent II: History of the Publication

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister