cw:  discussion of death and loss

A big result of my missionary experience was quadrupling down on the idea that I needed to GET MARRIED and BE A MOTHER. I’ve been seeing more and more talk about this in my journal, and even in my emails home, so I’ve gotta’ talk about it once again. This week I’m drawing in the wisdom of Margi Dehlin, as she explained how orthodox Mormon teachings and culture harmed her over her life as a young woman, wife, and mother. I know this episode is a little longer but I think it’s worth listening to! 

In week thirty-one, my journal entries include returning to a regular two-by-two companionship after weeks in a trio, getting a chance to sing with my “real voice,” and doubling down with fasting and thought-stopping after a particularly frustrating day.

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This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Margi Dehlin: Coming Home to Myself 

Sonia Johnson: From Housewife to Heretic (p. 72)

LDS Church: Missionary Handbook (p. 31)

Correction! Exponent II and its origins 

BYU Library: 1st published article of original Exponent

Exponent II: History of the Publication

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw:  food shaming; discussion of stalking, suic*dality, & abuse; I swear in this episode

Part of my unpacking process has drawn me to learning more about my family history—specifically, the stories of the women in my family who were first affected by the LDS church. I’ve been listening to the incredible work of Lindsey Hansen Park—the Year of Polygamy podcast—which has been (sadly) helpful with understanding my own family dynamics. This week, I’ll share how my great-great-great grandmother dealt with the difficulties of her unhappy polygamous marriage by turning to toxic perfectionism, which is passed down from generation to generation.

In week thirty, my journal entries include a clothes-mending session that turns into a trauma dump, dealing with an emergency transfer, and struggling to help a young Native American Mormon woman in crisis.

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This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Lindsay Hansen Park: A Year of Polygamy 

Mamie Wells Lovell: History of Caroline Ely Partridge Lyman 

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw:  discussion of stalking & fear of violence

I always thought of missionaries as unstoppable messengers for God, and grew up hearing stories of how missionaries were miraculously saved from scary situations. This week, we see my cultural idea of missionary invincibility crash up against the reality of being a young woman with an obedient heart and zero tolerance for conflict. 

In week twenty-nine, my journal entries include splurging on artisan chocolate treats, dealing with one companion’s broken bone, and desperately gaslighting myself that I felt fine and safe after a scary interaction with a stranger.

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Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Bailey, Exponent II: Essential Mission Prep 

Church Newsroom: Missionary Safety in 2024

Church Missionary Manuals: Missionary Standards for Disciples of Jesus Christ

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

Although the standard grouping for missionaries is “two by two,” sometimes things come up and suddenly you’re in a TRIO. I’m kicking things off by explaining some of the ups and downs of being in a trio, as well as being with missionaries who are soon to go home.

In week twenty-eight, my journal entries include actually going on a recreational hike on P-day, teaching a member with connections to a biker gang, and easily breaking into our apartment after locking ourselves out.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

PMG ch. 8 Weekly Planning 

PMG ch. 9 Importance of Working with Members 

Check out the new opera—Dark Sisters

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

Welcome to season 2! In line with my transfer to a new area, I start things out with an explanation of “pink washing,” leading into the patriarchal gender dynamics between Sisters and Elders. I found a fascinating historical timeline of LDS Sister Missionaries that was written in response to the lowering of age limits for missionary service. Dr. Radke-Moss posited that Sister Missionaries might be treated with more respect than was normal in the historical precedent; I’ll leave it up to you whether or not you believe this came true.

In week twenty-seven, my journal entries include saying goodbye to everyone in my first area including my first golden investigator, being placed into a surprise tripanionship, and, accordingly, dealing with a massive tone shift in my missionary work.

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This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Dr. Andrea Radke-Moss: An Overview of LDS Sister Missionary Service

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: mention of dental work

As a young woman trying to find myself as a sister missionary, I had a deep yearning to find my spiritual purpose—to not only feel my connection to the divine, but to see myself in the divine. Unfortunately, the Mormon theological world has almost no female representation. I’ll discuss how this environment of male-centric authority figures and spiritual philosophies lead to my increased self abandonment, as I tamped down every part of myself that didn't fit perfectly into the Church’s mould for women.

This week’s journal entries include receiving personal revelation from Heavenly Father through a church broadcast, judging a woman in mourning for being “angry,” & finally getting that highly anticipated (and feared) transfer phone call...

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This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Amy McPhie Allebest: Why Religious Tools Don’t Work For Women  

Donna Lee Bowen & Camille S. Williams: Women in the Book of Mormon 

Erin Kane: Women less than 15% of Bible characters

LDS Living: Timeline of Women’s General Conference Sessions from 1830-2022 

Official Church Site: General Conference Research Guide  (aka priesthood sessions) 

Liahona: 2015 General Women’s Session 

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: incidents of racism, discussion of racism

People tend to believe that “educated” and “intelligent” people would never be tricked into falling for a scam, but it turns out that we are all prone to blind spots when it comes to what is near and dear to the heart. I focus in on this idea, using the example of believing in literal spiritual healing while maintaining skepticism towards alternative essential oil medicine.

This week’s journal entries include coming down with strep, getting a free haircut, & listening to uncomfortable conversations steeped in racist beliefs.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

I’ve been saying for a while now that I want to discuss ableism and today I’m officially starting that discussion, with a focus on how the Church interacts with its elderly members. Spoilers—the church encourages the congregation to give to the church generously, while also discouraging “handouts” from the church back to the Ward members.

This week’s journals include meeting a darling elderly widow, doubling down on the importance of corporate “key indicator” goals, and making pie for a random man because I am a woman and he is a man. : /

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This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Older Adults Living in Poverty: kff.org

Principles for Providing Church Assistance: General Handbook 22.4

LDS Church Finances: wikipedia.org 

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

We all know that “you can buy anything in this world with money” ; ), and “nothing is free.” You might think that at least going on a two-year proselyting mission for the LDS church would be free but you’d be wrong! I start today’s episode by breaking down the basics of financing a mission, with a focus on the Missionary Support Fund.

This week’s journals include stressing out over a probable promotion, spacing out during my second baptism due to said stress, and eating gummy bears that tasted like cleaning products. 

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

Primary Song: We’ll Bring the World HIs Truth

Mission Prep Blog: Paying For Your Mission

LDS Tools: Missionary Finances

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister

cw: discussion of restrictive eating, eating disorders, fatphobia, racism, diet culture strategies such as calorie counting

Due to my journal’s constant focus on restrictive eating, it’s time we face the beast and learn about the history of fatphobia. The Church has not been silent on the topic of what is “healthiest” for people, especially women, to feed and do with their bodies, and I’m going to push back on how this messaging is not only incorrect but also harmful.

This week’s journals include repenting for the sin of eating sugar, promising members that I would of course never ever leave the Church, and finally achieving the high of testifying of Joseph Smith to a nonbeliever.

Support me monthly on patreon:D patreon.com/AllyChristiansen

Make a one-time donation on Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/allychristiansen

This project is very rewarding and very time consuming. Your financial support makes this possible, thank you!

APA resource: Eating Disorders, Weight-Shaming and “Clean” Eating

Hannah Carlan UCLA resource: Book Review of Strings’ “Fearing the Black Body”

Amanda Montgomery UIC resource: Weight stigma and fatphobia in public health

Carol Wolf LDS Ensign message: Physical Health: Weight Loss and the Word of Wisdom

Recommended Reading:

Sabrina Strings’ Fear the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia

r/exmormon reddit: Self Esteem for the Latter-Day Saint Woman

LDS General Conference 1978: Good Health—A Key to Joyous Living 

LDS Ensign message 2014: Nourishing Our Bodies and Our Spirits

LDS Missionary Wellness Manual: Bodyweight

Written, read, edited, & produced by Ally Finlinson Christiansen.

Music credits:

Clown Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/677166/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

mandolin sample from porch.wav by Jackie-makes-noiz -- https://freesound.org/s/545744/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

Church Music by Seth_Makes_Sounds -- https://freesound.org/s/678022/ -- License: Creative Commons 0

#sistermissionary #sdrcm #NdbM #postmormon #exmormon #ohsister