Thoughtful Planning

Episode Summary: According to Compassion & Choices, one in three older adults will die with dementia. Honey & Santiago introduce The Dementia Deck, a 41-card conversation tool to express your care preferences while clear of mind. They discuss caregiving worries, feeding tubes, late-stage care decisions, and fears about living with dementia.

Essential Question: If you were diagnosed with dementia tomorrow, would your loved ones know what kind of care matters most to you?

Content Warning: This episode discusses dementia and its challenges. If you or someone you love is dealing with dementia, please take care of yourself. This episode introduces a planning tool, not professional help.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not doctors, therapists, or lawyers.

Key Takeaways:

• 1 in 3 older adults will die with dementia; 14 million Americans by 2050

• Alzheimer's deaths increased 145% while heart disease deaths decreased 9% (last 20 years)

• Dementia Deck has 41 cards for exploring care preferences while clear-minded

• Younger onset dementia can begin in 30s or 40s

• Start with comfort questions (music, hobbies) before heavy care decisions

• As of October 2025, Nevada is only state with dementia-specific advance directive forms

• Other states: use dementia-directive.org form as addendum

• This is a conversation starter, NOT legal documentation

Episode Highlights:

[0:04] Cold open: Dementia statistics

[2:28] Essential question

[2:38] Younger onset dementia (30s/40s)

[3:00] The Dementia Deck: 41 cards

[4:36] Card 1: Caregiver worries

[6:05] Accepting help & self-care

[7:55] Card 2: Feeding tube decisions

[9:25] Card 3: Late stage care

[10:42] Open question: Biggest worries

[10:55] Santiago: Being a burden

[11:38] Honey: Forgetting loved ones

[12:20] Caring is loving, not burdensome

[13:52] Legal documentation options

[15:27] Practical tips

[17:00] Where to get the deck

[18:01] Closing thoughts

Action Steps:

✅ Order The Dementia Deck at thedeathdeck.com

✅ Start with comfort questions (music, hobbies, sources of joy)

✅ Include the right people in the conversation (spouse, adult children, siblings)

✅ Have the conversation more than once as preferences change

✅ Document the answers (record or take detailed notes)

✅ Share your wishes with your power of attorney, adult children, doctor

✅ Get the form at dementia-directive.org

✅ Talk to estate planning attorney about adding as addendum to advance directives

Resources:

• The Dementia Deck: https://thedeathdeck.com/collections/shop-all-decks

• Dementia Directive Form: https://dementia-directive.org

• Episode 33 - Psychiatric and Dementia Directives: https://youtu.be/cH9Jc_8LNlE

• Compassion & Choices - Dementia and End-of-Life Care: https://compassionandchoices.org/resource/dementia-and-end-of-life-care/

• Death Deck Episode: https://youtu.be/m6w0HpWhU_g

• EOL Deck Episode: https://youtu.be/4xvGIQAdizI

Connect:

Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit

Keywords: Dementia Deck, dementia planning, advance directives, dementia care preferences, Alzheimer's planning, caregiving, end-of-life planning, dementia directive, memory care decisions

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Episode Summary: In our last episode, we used The Death Deck while everyone was healthy. But what happens when someone is actually facing the end of life? Honey & Santiago introduce The EOL Deck, a tool for families, caregivers, & healthcare providers to explore what truly matters in someone's final chapter. They work through real questions & exchange answers to show how these difficult conversations unfold.

Essential Question: If someone you love were facing the end of their life right now, would you know what truly matters to them in their final days?

Content Warning: This episode discusses end-of-life topics. Please take care of yourself & listen when you're ready.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not doctors or lawyers.

Key Takeaways:

• The EOL Deck is for when someone is actually facing end of life 

• 52 cards with casual tone, multiple-choice & open-ended questions

• For families, caregivers, & healthcare providers

• Preview cards & select questions suited to each patient

• Start with cards about life & legacy for those less ready

• Conversation starters, NOT legal documents

• Created by Lori LoCicero & Lisa Pahl (hospice social worker)

• Part of series: Death Deck, EOL Deck, Dementia Deck

Episode Highlights:

[0:04] Cold open: What happens when death is no longer abstract?

[1:16] Essential question

[3:16] Meet creators: Lori LoCicero & Lisa Pahl

[5:47] First card: Ideal location for final breath

[7:55] Santiago: Outside in nature

[9:07] Honey: Grandkids playing, life happening

[10:20] Third card: What to smell in final days

[11:30] Gratitude question - What are you most thankful for?

[12:17] Santiago's emotional answer about their life together

[15:47] Professional tips: Preview & select cards

[19:56] Start conversations early

[20:30] Consider recording conversations

Action Steps:

✅ Order at thedeathdeck.com

✅ Preview cards before using

✅ Start with life & legacy cards

✅ Make conversations comfortable

✅ Document with notes or recordings

✅ Legally document wishes with advance care directives

Resources:

• EOL Deck: https://thedeathdeck.com/collections/shop-all-decks

• Death Deck Episode: https://youtu.be/m6w0HpWhU_g

• Advance directives: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/

Connect:

Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit

Keywords: EOL Deck, end-of-life conversations, advance directives, hospice care, palliative care, final wishes

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Episode Summary: In our last episode, we talked about how HBO's "The Pitt" could be a conversation starter for families to discuss end-of-life wishes. Today, we're sharing another tool that makes these conversations easier with some fun. Honey and Santiago play The Death Deck, a card game with 112 questions designed to spark lively discussions about death. Watch as they discover just how well they really know each other's end-of-life wishes through multiple choice questions and open-ended prompts.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not doctors or lawyers. Please consult with healthcare professionals or estate planning attorneys about your specific situation.

Essential Question: How well do you really know your family's thoughts about death and end-of-life wishes?

Content Warning: Today we're talking about a card game dealing with end-of-life topics. This card game is designed to spark conversations, not to make light of the topic of death. Please talk to a professional or call a helpline to seek help if you're facing difficulties. Please take care of yourself. You don't have to face anything alone.

Key Takeaways:

The Death Deck contains 112 cards with multiple choice and open-ended questions about death

The game is designed for when you're healthy, not during active end-of-life situations

Specialized decks exist for specific situations (EOL Deck, Dementia Deck)

Card games are conversation starters but never replace legal documentation

Review cards before playing with groups to remove triggering content

Episode Highlights:

[0:04] Introduction and Connection to The Pitt Episode - How conversation tools help families discuss end-of-life

[0:44] Content Warning - Sensitivity notice for listeners

[0:59] Welcome and Disclaimer - Meet Honey and Santiago

[1:21] Essential Question - How well do you know your family's thoughts about death?

[1:29] The Death Deck Introduction - 112 cards designed to spark discussion

[1:59] How The Death Deck Works - Multiple choice vs open-ended questions and different ways to play

[3:28] Gameplay Segment Begins - Honey and Santiago play three rounds

[3:50] Round 1: Space Cremains Question - Would you send cremated remains into space?

[5:17] Round 2: Cremation Jewelry Question - Would you wear jewelry containing loved one's remains?

[7:11] Round 3: Memorial Video Question - Making a video to be played after death

[9:05] Open-Ended Question: "I See Dead People" - Who would you want as your official greeter upon death?

[10:44] Other Specialized Decks - EOL Deck and Dementia Deck for specific situations

[11:56] Important Reminder - Card games never replace legal documentation

[12:43] Call to Action - Get The Death Deck or find another conversation starter

[13:15] Essential Question Revisited - Circling back to how well you know your family

Action Steps:

✅ Consider getting The Death Deck or finding another way to start these conversations with your family

✅ If making it a party, review cards first and remove any that might be triggering

Resources Shared:

The Death Deck, EOL Deck, and Dementia Deck: https://thedeathdeck.com/collections/shop-all-decks

State advance directive forms for legal documentation of wishes: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/

Connect with Thoughtful Planning: 

Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/contact

Email: [email protected] 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit

Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to start these important family conversations.

Keywords: The Death Deck, death conversations, family planning, end-of-life wishes, advance directives, conversation starters, EOL Deck, Dementia Deck, family communication, end-of-life planning

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Episode Summary: Picture this: Your child is in the hospital, declared brain dead. The doctor says according to their driver's license, they're an organ donor. But you've never talked about this as a family. In your grief and shock, what would you say? Honey and Santiago share how HBO Max's "The Pitt" opened their eyes to why one difficult conversation could prevent family heartbreak during an already devastating time.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not doctors or lawyers. Please consult with healthcare professionals or estate planning attorneys about your specific situation.

Essential Question: What are your wishes for organ donation? And have you shared those wishes with your family?

Content Warning: This episode discusses graphic medical scenarios and substance overdose. The referenced HBO Max series contains very graphic content and is recommended for adults only.

Key Takeaways:

The HBO Max wake-up call - How "The Pitt" depicts realistic ER scenarios that families face

The legal reality - First-person authorization laws and family decision-making in organ donation

Why conversations matter more than paperwork and how families often don't know loved ones' registration status

Using media as conversation starters and how they can help families discuss difficult topics

Episode Highlights:

[0:00] The Hospital Scenario - Picture this opening about family crisis and organ donation decisions

[1:13] HBO Max's "The Pitt" Series Discussion - Content warning and realistic ER depictions

[2:01] The 19-Year-Old's Story - Fentanyl overdose case and family's organ donation struggle

[3:31] Why Family Conversations Matter - The emotional impact when families haven't discussed wishes

[4:01] Legal Realities: First-Person Authorization - Uniform Anatomical Gift Act and state laws

[5:44] How to Start the Conversation - Using TV shows and driver's license discussions as opportunities

[7:43] Previous Organ Donation Episodes - Reference to past guests and their experiences

[8:37] Call to Action - Practical steps for having these conversations with family

Action Steps: 

✅ Have the organ donation conversation with your family 

✅ Consider watching "The Pitt" as adults to spark discussion 

✅ When teens get their first driver's license, explain all the choices they're making 

✅ Document your wishes through DMV registration or advance directives 

✅ Ensure family members know your decisions

Resources Shared:

HBO Max series "The Pitt": https://www.hbomax.com/shows/pitt-2024/e6e7bad9-d48d-4434-b334-7c651ffc4bdf

State advance directive forms: https://www.caringinfo.org/planning/advance-directives/

Department of Motor Vehicles donor registration: https://www.organdonor.gov/sign-up

Uniform Anatomical Gift Act (UAGA): https://www.organdonationalliance.org/insight/uniform-anatomical-gift-act-uaga/

Connect with Thoughtful Planning:

Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast

Email: [email protected]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit

Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone planning important family conversations.

Keywords: organ donation, family conversations, advance directives, first-person authorization, end-of-life planning, family planning, medical decisions, HBO Max The Pitt, donor registration

Episode 9: Rachel Quigley from Texas Organ Sharing Alliance walked us through the entire process: https://youtu.be/Br6EfLJCX7U

Episode 10: Kim Perkins, who received a pancreas from a young man and meets with his mother every year to celebrate life: https://youtu.be/XmPIyUE5kyE

Episode 41: Dr. Brittany Clayborne and her son Micah, both heart transplant recipients who started Transplant Teenz to help other teens navigate the experience: https://youtu.be/9pWuP1CyWXk?si=tykvwK3X5b6dJlDw

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Episode Summary:

Picture this: You're unconscious in a Spanish hospital, and your husband wants to honor your advanced directive that says no feeding tube. But the doctors say, "We can't accept this American document. It's not certified for use in Spain." In this bonus episode following our four-part travel series, Honey and Santiago share what they learned about apostille and authentication certifications so you can decide if this extra step is worth it for your international travel planning.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not lawyers and are not giving legal advice. Always consult a professional such as your attorney or doctors for any specific situation and check requirements with your destination country's embassy or mission.

Essential Question: If you had a medical emergency abroad and couldn't speak for yourself, would foreign doctors be able to legally honor your advanced directives and medical power of attorney?

Key Takeaways:

The reality check - US documents might not be recognized abroad without proper certification

Apostille vs Authentication - Which process you need depends on whether both countries are in the Hague Convention

The cost breakdown - What you can expect to pay for proper certification in Texas as of August 2025 ($120 - $280+ per person)

Time planning - Why you need to start this process at least 6 - 12 weeks before travel

Episode Highlights: 

[0:23] The Spain Wake-Up Call - How a recent trip revealed a gap in their travel planning that could affect anyone with advanced directives

[2:50] What Are Apostille and Authentication? - Official certifications of US documents for use in foreign countries and how they work

[3:57] The Hague Convention Check - Critical first step to verify both countries are members for apostilles to work

[4:44] Recent Convention Updates - China, Canada, Rwanda, and Vietnam joined recently; always check current status

[5:54] The Texas Process Example - Up to 1 month processing time and $15 per document as of August 2025

[6:11] The Cost Reality - Estimating 8 documents total (4 in English, 4 in Spanish) at $120 per person plus additional fees

[6:57] When Countries Aren't in the Convention - Additional State Department authentication process adds 5-6 weeks and $20 per document

[8:05] The Peace of Mind Factor - Who should consider this process and when it might be worth the investment

[8:48] Their Decision - Why they've decided to follow this process for future international travel

Action Steps:

Research convention status - Check if both your country and destination are in the Hague Apostille Convention

Choose your process - Apostille if both countries are members, authentication if destination isn't

Research your state's process - Search "[your state] Secretary of State Apostille" for specific requirements

Consider translation - Determine if documents need translation to destination country's language

Resources Shared:

Office of Authentications: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/replace-certify-docs/authenticate-your-document/office-of-authentications.html

Hague Convention Member Countries Status: https://www.hcch.net/en/instruments/conventions/status-table/?cid=41

Texas Secretary of State Apostille/Authentication: https://www.sos.state.tx.us/authinfo.shtml

Texas Advance Directives Forms: https://www.hhs.texas.gov/formas/advance-directives

Connect with Thoughtful Planning:

Website: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/podcast

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit

Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone planning international travel.

Keywords: apostille, authentication, international travel, advanced directives, living will, medical power of attorney, Hague Convention, travel planning, legal documents abroad, medical emergency abroad

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Episode Summary:

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not veterinarians or business advisors. Please consult professionals for your specific situations.

Episode Highlights:

Action Steps:

For Pet Owners:

For Business Owners:

Exchange contact information with trusted family member and clients

Pre-write refund checks if applicable

Create ready-to-mail emergency packages

4. Identify Backup Resources: Research 2+ businesses that could assist clients if needed

Resources Shared:

Coming Up Next:

This concludes our comprehensive four-part travel planning series. Future episodes will continue exploring thoughtful planning strategies for life's biggest moments.

Connect with Thoughtful Planning:

Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone planning a trip.

Keywords:

travel planning, pet boarding, business continuity, vacation planning, pet care, emergency planning, travel preparation, stress-free vacation, business travel, pet travel, vacation checklist, travel series finale

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Episode Summary:

Travel planning revealed a shocking gap in Honey and Santiago's preparedness: if something happened to them abroad (or at home), their family would be completely digitally locked out. In this episode, they share the simple steps they took to fix this problem and ensure their loved ones can access phones, email, and critical accounts in an emergency. You'll discover the difference between legacy contacts and emergency access, plus get actionable steps to set up your own digital safety net.

Disclaimer:

This episode is for educational purposes only. We are not tech experts or providing legal advice. Always consult professionals for legal guidance and check with your specific devices and accounts for current features and requirements.

Essential Question:

If something happened to you and you couldn't help yourself, could your family access the accounts needed to help you both at home and while traveling?

Key Takeaways:

Legacy contacts are designed for death, not incapacitation

iPhone and Android handle digital legacy differently

Your family doesn't need access to everything, just what helps them help you

Digital preparedness gaps exist whether you're traveling or at home

Episode Highlights:

[0:04] The Spain vacation wake-up call: digitally prepared or digitally locked out?

[2:01] The realization: our son would be completely locked out of our digital accounts

[2:43] iPhone Legacy Contact setup: easy for iPhone users, complicated for Android users

[3:36] The limitation: Legacy Contact requires death certificates, not for incapacitation

[4:20] The game changer: password manager emergency contact feature

[4:42] 24-hour access balance: preventing accidents while enabling emergencies

[6:31] Android confession: we didn't set up Google inactive account manager before traveling

[7:37] What family actually needs access to: phones, email, and password managers

[9:02] The Google Drive solution: sharing emergency contact information safely

[10:27] International travel bonus: AI prompt for iPhone security settings

Action Steps:

Pick one trusted person as your digital emergency backup and have the conversation

iPhone users: set up Legacy Contact for long-term planning

Android users: research and set up Google inactive account manager

Add an emergency contact to your password manager if available

Consult your estate attorney about digital access laws and appropriate legal document wording

AI Prompt to Copy and Paste:

I'm traveling internationally with an iPhone. What safety and privacy settings should I check before I leave? Please provide a checklist with instructions.

Resources Mentioned:

iPhone Legacy Contact feature: https://support.apple.com/en-us/102631

Android Google inactive account manager: https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/3036546?hl=en

Password manager emergency contact features

Estate attorney consultation for digital access planning

Coming Up Next:

Episode 49: Vacation Ready: Pet and Business Plans That Let You Truly Relax

Connect with Thoughtful Planning:

Facebook: https://facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/legacy-toolkit

Thank You for Listening! Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone planning a trip.

Keywords:

digital preparedness, emergency access, legacy contact, password manager, travel planning, family emergency planning, digital legacy, iPhone security, Android planning, estate planning, digital assets, emergency contacts

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Episode Summary:

Disclaimer:

Essential Question:

Key Takeaways:

5 essential travel insurance questions your family should know

An AI prompt that turns long policies into plain English summaries

Why emergency contact numbers should be added to your family’s phones

Death abroad planning: cremation vs. embalming and what’s covered

What your travel insurance may or may not cover for pets

Episode Highlights:

Action Steps:

Purchase travel insurance before your next trip

Use our AI prompt to summarize your policy in plain language & verify output matches policy

Document and share your preferences for end-of-life abroad (cremation, embalming, etc.)

Save the emergency number in your family’s phone contacts as “Travel Insurance Emergency”

Have a 10-minute talk with your emergency contact about what’s covered and where to find details

Make sure 2–3 trusted people have this info

AI Prompt to Copy and Paste:

Resources Mentioned:

Coming Up Next:

Connect with Thoughtful Planning:

Thank You for Listening!

Keywords: travel insurance, emergency abroad, medical evacuation, trip cancellation, family emergency planning, travel safety, international travel, insurance coverage, emergency contacts, travel planning

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Episode Summary: In this kickoff episode of our travel planning series, Honey and Santiago share real-life lessons from their recent international vacation. They walk through a simple, actionable checklist to help you get prepared before you travel. From choosing your trusted contacts to prepping your home, this episode gives you the essential steps to protect your loved ones while you are away.

Disclaimer:

Essential Question: What should you do before your trip to make sure your loved ones can help you in an emergency?

Episode Highlights: 

Registering for the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP)

Choosing your trusted person and backup contacts

Sharing travel itinerary, insurance information and emergency contacts

Prepping your home: security, mail, yard and trash

Taking a photo of where you park and sending it to your contact

Travel tech tips: phone plans, credit card alerts and battery rules

Pet care and small business reminders (with more details coming in later episodes)

Advice from Hosts:

Do not announce your travel dates publicly, especially if no one is staying at your home

Double-check lithium-ion battery rules before flying

Print important documents like your passport and medication list and store them in a separate place from the originals

Conclusion: By following this checklist, you will feel confident and prepared before you leave home. Stay tuned for the next episode where Santiago and Honey dive into travel insurance essentials and how to make sure your family knows what to do if something happens.

Resources Shared:

U.S. Department of State STEP Program: https://mytravel.state.gov/s/step

Passport Information: https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/passports/passport-help/after-getting-passport.html

Lithium Battery: https://www.faa.gov/hazmat/packsafe/lithium-batteries

Texx: Season 1 Episode 15: https://youtu.be/-eI3vFieTos?si=KwR7DJOK5bpzrP4j

Pet Care Legacy Guide: https://www.legacytoolkit.com/petcarelegacyguide

If you would like a checklist of all items referenced in the podcast send an email to [email protected] and in the subject add 'Travel checklist'.

Connect with Thoughtful Planning Hosts, Santiago & Honey:

Website: legacytoolkit.com/podcast

Facebook: facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: Legacy Toolkit on LinkedIn

Thank You for Listening!Don’t forget to subscribe, leave us a review and share this episode with a friend.

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Episode Summary: You’ve earned those points, miles and cashback. But what happens to them if you become incapacitated or pass away? In this episode, Honey walks you through what most people never think to ask: What does your credit card company do with your rewards after death? She explains how to find the answers, what your executor needs to know and how a few simple steps now can protect what you've worked hard for later.

Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes only. Please consult a local professional for specific guidance for your needs.

Essential Question: Do you know what your credit card company says will happen to your rewards, points, or miles if you become incapacitated or die? Have you clearly documented it?

Episode Highlights:

Why rewards can quietly disappear if not documented

What to ask your credit card company about powers of attorney and executors

The 16 questions to ask your card issuer

How rewards can be applied, forfeited or claimed

Why even small balances matter in the bigger picture of thoughtful planning

Advice from Host:

Start by making a list of all your credit cards that earn points. Choose one card and use the 16 questions shared in the episode to document each policy. Then share that information with someone you trust. Set a reminder to check back each year, especially if policies change or you open a new card. This isn't about perfection. It's about making things easier for the people you love.

Conclusion:

Credit card rewards may seem small, but they represent effort, value and opportunity. By planning ahead, you protect these assets and give your family clarity and peace of mind. You’ve already done the hard part by earning them. Now make sure they don’t vanish without notice.

Connect with Thoughtful Planning Hosts, Santiago & Honey:

Website: legacytoolkit.com/podcast

Facebook: facebook.com/legacytoolkitwithsantiagoandhoney

LinkedIn: Legacy Toolkit on LinkedIn

Thank You for Listening! Don’t forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and share this episode with a friend.

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