Thoughts From My Thirties

I’m thinking through…

why so many women feel behind in their 30s, even when they've spent years working toward their dreams

the realization that some of the work we're meant to do requires us to become the women we're becoming first

why creative careers don't always follow traditional timelines… and why that doesn't make them any less legitimate

the pressure to be practical and how we sometimes confuse financial stability with success

who actually benefits when ambitious women start believing they're running out of time

the hidden cost of spending so much time, energy, and talent building someone else's dream that there's barely anything left for your own

and the possibility that the years you think you've lost aren't wasted years at all… they're part of what makes your best work possible

JOIN MY PRIVATE COMMUNITY

Our Inner Thoughts is a space to keep the conversation going with:

• Monthly Group Thoughts — live virtual discussions

• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions — ask me anything about creativity, strategy, life, love, and becoming

Join here:

https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true

LET’S STAY CONNECTED

Socials: @KalaRiggins

Website:

https://kalariggins.com/

Contact:

[email protected]

ABOUT ME

I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.

Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your expression, and your identity… and having the courage to become someone your old life may not quite know how to hold yet.

Nobody warned me that one of the hardest parts of friendship in your 30s would be realizing that some of the people you've spent years growing with may no longer be growing with you.

We're talking about the friendships that no longer stretch us, the exhaustion of always being the one holding everybody together, and the loneliness of wanting deeper connections in a season when everybody seems consumed with their own lives.

I'm also questioning why we've become so comfortable treating friendship as something we fit around everything else. When did keeping up with each other become less important than occasionally catching up?

This is a personal one because I'm not speaking from the other side of the experience. I'm right in the middle of it.

In this episode, we get into:

• Why some friendships stop stretching us as we grow
• Wanting to keep up with friends instead of constantly catching up
• Navigating friendship as the single, child-free friend
• Retiring from being the glue that holds everybody together
• Why history alone isn't enough to sustain a friendship
• Grieving friendships that quietly fade without a falling out

Let's keep the conversation going:

What's something nobody warned you about friendship in your 30s?

Resources + Links:

Episode Companion Guide:

https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0

Join Our Inner Thoughts, my private community:

https://tinyurl.com/34c8hbpj

Connect with me:

Instagram & TikTok: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

About Thoughts From My Thirties:

A love letter to millennials who are just trying to figure it out. Honest conversations about identity, creativity, relationships, and becoming, hosted by Kala Riggins.

Over here, we're finding peace in the process of simply figuring it out.

In this episode, we’re talking about the kind of growth that doesn’t always look like growth from the outside.

How do you know you’re becoming a different woman when nobody else can see it yet?

We talk a lot about transformation like it’s supposed to be obvious. A new look. A new life. A completely different version of you.

But lately, I’ve been noticing the quieter ways I’m changing. The things I believe differently. The things I no longer need. The relationships I’m questioning. The parts of myself I’m finally trusting without needing everybody else to understand.

If you’ve been feeling yourself shift in ways you can’t quite explain yet, this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we get into:

• Why I no longer need everybody in my life to fully understand me
• Spending more money on the parts of my life only I get to experience
• What changed when I stopped negotiating with my calling
• Getting more specific about what I actually like and learning to trust my own taste
• Why we may be outsourcing too many of our preferences to the internet
• The difficult realization that history alone isn’t enough to sustain a friendship
• The difference between catching up with your friends and actually keeping up with each other
• Why everything you love doesn’t need to become productive, profitable, or purposeful
• How trying to be “realistic” can sometimes be another way of making yourself smaller
• Why I’d rather be absolutely ridiculous than regular
• Becoming more comfortable with being different, giving a different answer, and choosing a different direction

Resources + Links:

Download the episode companion guide:

https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0

Join my private community, Our Inner Thoughts:

https://tinyurl.com/34c8hbpj

Inside the community:

• Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)
• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions

Let’s keep the conversation going:

What are some of the quiet ways you know you’re becoming a different woman?

Not the obvious things everybody else can see. What has changed in the way you think, what you tolerate, what you want, how you spend your time, who you keep close, or how you see yourself?

Connect with me:

Instagram & TikTok: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

Email: [email protected]

About the show:

Thoughts From My Thirties is a love letter to millennials who are just trying to figure it out.

I’m Kala, content creator, storyteller, and your host.

This is a space where we say the quiet part out loud, unpack real-life experiences, and have honest conversations about identity, creativity, relationships, and becoming.

Because becoming a different woman isn’t always about completely reinventing yourself.

Sometimes it’s quieter than that.

It’s needing less explanation. Trusting your own taste. Taking your calling seriously. Reconsidering relationships that may no longer fit. Letting yourself enjoy something without needing to monetize it. And getting more comfortable with the fact that your answer, your direction, and your life might look different from everybody else’s.

Over here, we’re learning to find peace in the process of simply figuring it out.

feeling lonely even when your life is full

the difference between having people and actually feeling known

my deep desire to be understood… and how it can sometimes get in the way of connection

grieving old versions of yourself while you’re still figuring out who you’re becoming

why missing a place, season, or life might actually mean you miss who you were back then

and the quiet realization that sometimes loneliness isn’t about who’s missing… but how much of yourself you’re willing to let people know

JOIN MY PRIVATE COMMUNITY

Our Inner Thoughts is a space to keep the conversation going with:

• Monthly Group Thoughts — live virtual discussions

• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions — ask me anything about creativity, strategy, life, love, and becoming

Join here:

https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fkalariggins.substack.com%2F

LET’S STAY CONNECTED

Socials: @KalaRiggins

Website:

https://kalariggins.com/

Contact:

[email protected]

ABOUT ME

I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.

Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your expression, and your identity… and having the courage to become someone your old life may not quite know how to hold yet.

In this episode, we’re unpacking a question that’s been sitting heavy:

Are we actually thinking for ourselves anymore… or just repeating what we see online?

Social media and pop culture used to be entertainment. Now? It’s shaping how we think, how we date, how we see ourselves — and most of us didn’t even realize when the shift happened.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, influenced, or disconnected from your own voice… this conversation is for you.

In this episode, we get into:

• How social media and pop culture quietly shape your worldview
• The shift from entertainment → instruction (and why that matters)
• Why we’ve started forming opinions based on other people’s lives
• The difference between groupthink and original thought
• How overconsumption disconnects you from your own voice
• Why not everything needs a take… some things need time
• The importance of sitting with your thoughts before outsourcing them
• How to rebuild trust in your own perspective and lived experience

Resources + Links:

Download the episode companion guide:

https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0

Join my private community, Our Inner Thoughts:

https://tinyurl.com/34c8hbpj

Inside the community:

• Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)
• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions

Let’s keep the conversation going:

How much of what you think is actually yours?

And what would it look like to sit with your thoughts… before the world tells you what to think?

Connect with me:

Instagram & TikTok: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

Email: [email protected]

About the show:

Thoughts From My Thirties is a love letter to millennials who are just trying to figure it out.

I’m Kala — content creator, storyteller, and your host.

This is a space where we say the quiet part out loud, unpack real-life experiences, and have honest conversations about identity, creativity, relationships, and becoming.

Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your expression, and your truth.

This one is for the woman who wants to feel like herself again…

but keeps saving her best self for a “real” reason.

• Why you’ve been saving your best self for special occasions — and how that’s actually limiting you
• The deeper meaning behind personal style (it’s not vanity… it’s identity)
• The subtle ways people project when they say “you’re doing too much”
• Why looking good is a practice — not a performance
• The connection between effort, confidence, and how you see yourself
• Why your wardrobe (and how you use it) reflects what you believe about yourself
• How to rebuild your confidence through everyday habits — not big moments

Download the episode companion resource:

I created a companion guide to help you reconnect with your personal style and stop saving your best self for “someday.”

→ https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0

→ https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fkalariggins.substack.com%2F

Our Inner Thoughts is where we keep the conversation going:

• Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)
• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming)

What part of yourself have you been saving for later?

And what would it look like to bring her into your everyday life?

Drop it in the comments… let’s tell the truth out loud.

Socials: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

Contact: [email protected]

I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.

Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your expression, your identity…

and having the courage to show up as her every single day.

I’m thinking through…

wanting more… and wanting it now

God’s timing vs. my impatience

what it really means to be ready for what you’re asking for

and the quiet realization that maybe… I’m still being prepared for it

Join my private community:

https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fkalariggins.substack.com%2F

Our Inner Thoughts is a space to keep the conversation going with:

• Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)

• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming)

Let’s stay connected

Socials: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

Contact: [email protected]

About Me:

I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.

Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and your calling… and having the courage to act on it.

This one is for the woman who keeps saying she wants more… but hasn’t been fully honest about what “more” actually is.

In this episode, we get into:

• Why you might not have what you want because you’re not being honest about it
• The difference between saying what you want vs. telling the truth about what you want
• How I realized I was hiding my true identity behind more “understandable” titles
• What successful creatives have in common and what it means to stay in your main character energy
• Choosing what’s practical vs. choosing what’s actually meant for you
• How being influenced can keep you stuck in the wrong lane
• The truth about “realistic dreams” and why that concept might be a lie
• Being honest in every area: career, relationships, friendships, and your relationship with God
• What it looks like to talk to God like He’s your father and actually ask for what you want
• Admitting you want new friends and why that doesn’t make you ungrateful
• How conditioning — not fear — keeps us playing small
• Why safe answers are blocking real outcomes
• The difference between self-awareness and actual change
• 5 ways I’m learning to get honest about what I want and take action toward it

Resources + Links

Download the episode companion resource:

https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk....

Join my private community:

https://kalariggins.substack.com/subs...

Our Inner Thoughts is a space to keep the conversation going with:

Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)

Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming)

Question for you:

What’s one thing you’ve been saying you want… but haven’t been fully honest about?

Drop it in the comments — let’s tell the truth out loud.

Let’s stay connected

Socials: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

Contact: [email protected]

About Me:

I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop diluting, and start telling the truth about who they are and what they actually want.

Over here, it’s about returning to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and your calling… and having the courage to act on it.

Turning 35 made me realize something: you don’t need the traditional milestones to be proud of your life.

In this birthday episode, I’m bragging on myself — petty and popping.

If you’ve ever felt behind, in-between, or unsure if you’re doing life “right”… this one is for you.

This one is for the girl who needs to brag on herself a little more.

The thirty-something who’s tired of milestones being used as a measuring stick.

The millennial who’s learning: two things can be true… and I’m still that girl.

In this birthday episode, I’m not doing the usual deep dive. I’m doing a brag session.

• Why I’m proud I’m prompt (and why being late every time isn’t cute)

• Being okay in silence + not needing constant stimulation

• The freedom of not having the “traditional” milestones (house, marriage, kids) and not feeling less fulfilled

• Starting over, starting from scratch, starting in the middle of chaos… and still showing up

• My hygiene routine (yes, it’s petty… and yes, I smell good 😭)

• My relationship with God: deepened discernment + no longer trying to live without Him

• Having refined taste in people, places, and experiences

• Being a good friend: safe, nonjudgmental, and built for real conversation

• “No longer negotiating with my calling” + why hearing isn’t enough… it’s time to move

A few thoughts from my thirties…

00:00 — Brag session rules + “She’s 35. She has arrived.”

02:10 — Golden birthday energy + why we’re not doing the deep reflective thing today

04:40 — Petty flex: I’m prompt, and I’m proud

07:10 — Silence, nervous systems, and not needing constant stimulation

10:30 — Not married, not a homeowner, no kids… and not feeling less than

14:10 — Starting over without reverting back to the “mundane” plan

16:30 — Petty but important: hygiene routine + “you’ll never say I was stink”

19:20 — My relationship with God + the 33-year-old resurrection year

23:40 — Community break: Our Inner Thoughts (keep the convo going)

26:10 — Taste, “outside,” and not living life in isolation

29:30 — I’m a really good friend (and what safe friendship actually looks like)

33:10 — “No longer negotiating with my calling” + James 1:22

36:10 — Face card, skills, and thanking the 2016 YouTube girlies

38:40 — Saying the quiet part out loud: loneliness + still being that girl

44:00 — The duality: low days don’t cancel your identity

47:20 — Closing: brag on yourself + peace in the process of figuring it out

Download the episode companion resource:

I started a resource library for y’all. After each episode, I drop a Kala-coded companion guide so the conversation doesn’t end when the episode ends.

Download here:

https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0

https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe

Our Inner Thoughts is a space to keep the conversation going with:

• Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)

• Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming)

What’s one petty thing and one popping thing you’re proud of in this season?

Drop yours in the comments — and if you’re my friend, go ahead and “amen” me too. 😭

Socials: @KalaRiggins

Website: https://kalariggins.com/

Contact: [email protected]

I’m Kala — host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.

Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters.

Believing in Yourself Is a Full-Time Job

If you’ve been trying to “stay positive” but doubt keeps sliding into the room this episode is for you.

This is for the girl who clocked out for a minute. The thirty-something who got tired. The millennial who needs to clock back in.

In this episode, we get into:

-Doubt creeping in and why it made me question my faith

-Why I’m rejecting the idea that doubt and faith can’t coexist

-“Detours are not delays” — and how I’m rewiring my mind around timing

-Creativity without capitalism: your art doesn’t need entrepreneurship to matter

-The “hard body” energy I may be giving off (and how it doesn’t match my real desire: love)

-Believing in love when singleness makes you comfortable (and guarded)

-The real fear underneath love: “Will it cost me myself?”

-Abundance as birthright (not burnout) + letting peace be profitable

-Believing God is easy… believing His timing is the real work

-Grieving the life you thought you’d have by now (and still trusting you’re not behind)

-“Clocking back in” as a mindset: treating belief like a daily practice, not a mood

Resources + Links

Download the guide: CLOCK BACK IN: This guide is your gentle (but firm) guide to believing in you again.

LINK - https://spring-basil-85806.myflodesk.com/e85zoionw0

Join my private community:

https://kalariggins.substack.com/subscribe?utm_source=menu&simple=true&next=https%3A%2F%2Fkalariggins.substack.com%2F

Our Inner Thoughts: A space to keep the conversation going with:

-Monthly Group Thoughts (live virtual discussions)

-Inside My Mind Q&A sessions (ask me anything — creativity, strategy, life, love, becoming)

Question for you: What area are you clocking back into right now — love, abundance, creativity, faith, or timing?

Let's stay connected!

About Me:

I’m Kala! Host, content creator, and storyteller.

I create content and conversations that inspire women to stop hiding, stop apologizing, and show up as their full selves.

Over here, it’s about thoughts and conversations that help you return to yourself — your voice, your clarity, and what actually matters.

Socials: @KalaRiggins

My Website:

https://kalariggins.com/

Contact:

[email protected]