I. Resistance ALOT OF THE TIME WHEN WE LOOK AT ENVY WE LOOK AT extreme examples in the media THE SELENA & YOLANDA Situation. But envy is not always that detremental. As long as you're not acting on your envy in malous ways it shouldn't be dangerous. It's only an unpleasant thought that is triggered by something you see. Specifically something that someone else has. The point where we go wrong with envy is resisting it as a feeling because we feel it automatically makes us bad people or we listen to the projections of other people: that we're some how going to go off the deep end from being envious. Everybody experiences envy at some point in their life and it's become more common with social media. It's as simple as seeing someone in a Rose Royce and Saying "That's unfair, why Can't I be in a Rose Royce too." The difference between someone who has their envy in check and someone who doesn't is that someone who has it in check will say: "Oh cool, a Rose Royce! Maybe one day soon I'll get to enjoy it too. " The first two steps to getting over envy is getting over resistance and realizing that there's enough success to go around. Practice this step today: Next time you're on social media and you feel envious, ask yourself: Is there enough to go around?II. The Why I was on Tellonym the other day, and the first statement they made to me was: I'm kind of jealous of you. My first question was Why? That is the next step to overcoming comparisons. Figuring put the Why and Particularly the emotion and what you are feeling. Ask yourself: What do I feel when I feel envy for someone else's life? Do I feel angry? Does it feel unfair and them Ask yourself Why?III. Did you know envy is unfair unfair? Do you feel it's unfair that someone has something you don't? Did you know that comparisons are unfair? Nobody starts off at the same playing field even me and my twin sister have had different experiences and challenges. It's also important to note that on the internet,specifically, people lie. Did you know that some influences rent out cars and air bnbs to pass off as their own? Social media is a brand. People probably lie in real life too or their lifestyle comes with different challenges. Next time you feel comparison arising, label the feeling and remind yourself: This is an unfair comparison.IV. Comparisons and Pedestals: Envy often comes with pedestals. Although pedestals don't take away from your light, you can dim your own light by comparing yourself and placing someone else on a pedestal. In American culture atleast , we often put celebrities and public figures on a pedestal. When really they share many similarities with us that make them "normal". Once you realize that everyone is special in their own way. You'll have mastered a portion of the comparison trap. I work with kids, and at first I compared myself to the other adults and teachers. I would say they're more engaging than me, kids react to them differently, people react differently to me. Well of course they do. I'm my own unique person. Remember: People react differently to me because I am different. We're all different in our own unique way.Make a monthly subscription to this podcast to gain access to more weekly mini courses. Kay’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.
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