Okay, from time to time I mention stupid things I did as a single. Last week and the week before, I wrote about things I got right. Before that, I wrote once about the smartest things I did as a single. But this week, I am writing about three things I got wrong as a single.

Opposite Sex Friendships

While I was single, I never meant any harm to anyone. I genuinely thought a man and a woman could just be good friends. If there was no kissing or hand-holding, and a clear understanding that it was not a dating relationship, I naïvely thought it could be done without anyone getting attached or getting hurt. I was wrong.

I Got Hurt

And, that knife cut both ways. In one case, I got hurt. I spent significant time with this really cool woman. She was upfront with me that she was not at a point in her life where she was ready for a relationship, so we just pal-ed around.

But, as we hung around from time to time as just friends – I got really attached. I found her attractive on multiple levels. In fact, she was a lot like the woman I ended up marrying. We hit it off immediately. The conversation flowed effortlessly. We always enjoyed each other’s company.

The problem was simple – I was ready for a relationship. She was not. Like I said, she was upfront about that from the start. She never led me on or anything. My disappointment was strictly my fault.

I Hurt Someone

In a different friendship, I hurt someone. Here again, there was no kissing or hand-holding. She was fun to hang around with, but I had no romantic interest.

And, here again, I naïvely thought that it was possible for a man and a woman to just hang out as friends and that because there was no romantic involvement, nobody would get hurt. But, I know for a fact, when I got married it hurt her.

Get This Right

Do not make the same mistake I made. Do not naïvely think you can spend loads of time around one certain person of the opposite sex without one or the other of you getting attached and getting hurt.

Unless there is mutual interest in pursuing a relationship and some sort of commitment is made, do not spend too much time with any one person. Otherwise, someone will get attached and they will get hurt.

Too Far Physically

This is hard for me to admit. I write a lot about not letting your physical relationship get ahead of your commitment. But, that is not the whole story. Even if you are engaged, you are not married. There are still limits.

I let our physical relationship get out of hand. As our relationship got more and more intimate and our wedding day got closer and closer, I started letting my guard down. I started letting myself be alone with her at her place.

Being human beings, we started going further and further. Now, we did not go all the way. In fact, we did not go as far as a lot of couples go, but we went further than we intended and further that we should have.

If we would have needed to push our wedding date back, it would have been hard not to go all the way prematurely. It would have taken drastic measures to reset our physical relationship to where we could stay pure until that day. We were on a trajectory toward having sex very soon.

Get This Right

Never let your guard down. Never move your guardrails. If purity is your aim, you will need to be very purposeful in how you interact with the opposite sex. Dating or even being engaged does not give you license to do whatever you want.