“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”(Often attributed to) Albert Einstein

Sometimes in your life as a single person, you get stuck in a rut. Bad ways of looking at things, relating to people, and dating turn into a cycle of bad decisions. You make the same relational mistakes over and over. You look at your singleness the same dysfunctional way year after year. It’s time to look at things a different way. It’s time to do things a different way.

A Different Way of Looking at Singleness

First, look at your singleness differently. As I’ve noted before, how you view your singleness makes all the difference in the world as to how much you enjoy it. If you view it as your cross to bear or a punishment you were cursed with, you will never know the joyful, enriching, thrill ride singleness can be.

Single Too Long?

Too many people view singleness as a time of life that should be minimized and kept as short as possible. They equate a long season of singleness to some sort of failure to marry.

The truth is that for most of us singleness is a valuable time of learning. Those years are when we learn who we are, what we believe, and what we value. That’s the time given to you to grow as a person.

Related Post: Change Your Attitude | Thrive as a Single

Time to Learn and Grow

Your single years are the time to learn what you want in a spouse, learn to attract that kind of spouse, and learn about what it takes to have a great relationship with your spouse. If you wait until you get married to start learning how to be a good spouse, you’ve wasted your single years.

Don’t do that. Don’t waste these years. Look at your singleness as your time to grow. You have a lot to learn about who you are, what qualities are important in a person you would want to marry, and how to be the spouse you should be.

Related Post: Write Your Own Story

A Different Way of Dating

Secondly, start looking at dating differently.

Not All About You

To some people dating is a way to get what they want from someone else. It’s a way of gratifying their need for affection and sexual release. It’s all about the chase and the thrill of the hunt.

Not Just A Necessary Evil

To some people dating is seen as a necessary evil. They think, “Well, if I ever want to get married I guess I have to date, whether I want to or not.” The guys think, “Why do I need to spend all this time and money to get someone to like me?” While the ladies think, “Why do I need to subject myself to all the perils of dating and spend my evening fending off some jerk?”

And honestly, sometimes it can be tricky. There’s no guarantee your date will turn out nice. Plus, there’s always the risk of rejection on both sides and the accompanying ding to your ego.

Not About Long-Term Relationships

To other people dating means entering a long-term relationship. I won’t spend time on that here because I’ve dealt with that recently.

Related Article: The Problem with Long-Term Dating Relationships