Thriving in the Midst of Chaos: Parenting With Special Needs Kids

Episode 56: The Invisible Disability With Guest Bonnie Wiscombe

In this episode, we discuss the unique challenges that come with kids who don't "look" like they have special needs but still need extra patience and consideration. Guest Bonnie Wiscombe homeschools all of her 9 children. Her daughter Vivian has special needs. Vivian is a twin, but her twin doesn't have special needs. This made it easier to pick up on the disabilities more easily. Her milestones were a lot more delayed than her twin's. Vivian has always been homeschooled, but for a few years, she was able to attend public school one day a week, which helped to get her an IEP and resources through the school system.

Vivian was diagnosed with a learning disability in kindergarten. Her teacher had brought numerous concerns to Bonnie's attention, and so Bonnie got Vivian assessed through the school district. The school did evaluations for occupational and speech therapy. However, they weren't able to provide a clear-cut diagnosis. Vivian was diagnosed with learning delays. Her daughter also did very in depth testing with the psychologist and was diagnosed with ADHD as well. The psychologist afterward recommended medication to help with attention, which Bonnie chose to help her daughter with symptoms of ADHD. This has been very helpful in assisting her daughter in making progress with her learning disability. Her daughter was having difficulty not only academically but with attention, playing with others, and transitions from one activity to another. She was provided with an IEP early on in schooling. However, she moved to a new district recently, and has been doing only homeschooling, so she does not currently have an IEP. However, when she did have an IEP, they took good data and they re-evaluated Vivian every few months, so they could see continued progress. Vivian is currently seeing a dyslexia tutor to help with learning disabilities, which is helping tremendously.

When her daughter is around other kids or families, Bonnie makes sure to communicate with the other parents about what Vivian is going through and what to expect. She asks others to offer warnings to Vivian before ending an activity. Bonnie has struggled with Vivian's peers being mean to her. Therefore, Bonnie tries to explain things to the children in an appropriate way and ask for patience with Vivian. Bonnie also does role plays with her daughter to help Vivian learn how to interact positively with other children.

Links for Bonnie: Blog Clothing Business Podcast Instagram ST Math Dyslexia Pros Lindamood Bell System

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 55: Diagnosis and Treatment Across The World With Guests Jao and Jyothi Tekwani

In this episode, we discuss we discuss growing up with disabilities in different countries and continents, and how that affects diagnosis and treatment, as well as the stigma related to having a disability. Guests Jao and Jyothi Tekwani's daughter was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy both in India and in Miami. In India, she was able to see any doctor her parents chose and was able to see them within a few days of calling. Her parents moved to Curacao when she was 2 years old. In Miami, she got surgery on a tendon and has been using splints and inserts in her shoes for her feet. She also has obtained physical, occupational, and speech therapy. Her parents noted that since they moved, India now uses private insurance. Curacao has state sponsored insurance and organized therapies, and their country subsidizes the treatments. She noted that India now has a bigger and more supportive disability community than it used to. India is also now becoming wheelchair friendly. They have found strong support in both countries. However, although people are helpful, families in Curacao tend not to take their disabled children out of the house very often.

Links: Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 54: Searching For Diagnosis and Treatment With Guest Keikilani Jackson

In this episode, we discuss having difficulty getting proper diagnosis and treatment. Guest Keikilani Jackson noticed differences in her youngest children as early as 3 weeks. However, doctors told her that there was no problem with them and that she should not be concerned. Keikilani continued to notice difficulties throughout her daughters' early years. Her daughters were tested for Autism a few times and were found not to have ASD. However, doctors didn't know what was going on. They just kept giving Keikilani parenting advice. She finally saw a therapist who diagnosed her children with sensory processing disorder. They were later diagnosed with ADHD.

In order to get treatment for her children, she and the doctors had to find numerous workarounds to get the diagnosis and treatment that her children require. The symptoms of ADHD and sensory processing disorder were affecting life for her children both at home and school, and Keikilani wanted to find help for them. She found information and resources from Facebook groups and searching information on the internet. Some days, she had to just google providers and call them and hope they could see her and would take her insurance.

The school didn't really help her find a diagnosis or resources. Her children were finally accepted for special education, but the school has not yet implemented any strategies to help her children. However, the school plans to implement numerous sensory strategies next year. Her daughters are currently in occupational therapy to help manage sensory processing disorder. The therapist comes to their house and teaches Keikilani how to help meet the sensory needs of her daughters. She is trying to get behavior therapy for her daughters but either insurance won't cover services or the fee for services is too high. She has found that appealing insurance denials has been very helpful in obtaining needed services.

Links for Keikilani: Blog Instagram Facebook Foster Care & Adoption Resource Email Thrive Skilled Pediatric Care Why Mommy Drinks

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 53: Understanding Special Education Law With Guest Jennifer Price

In this episode, we discuss special education law. A special needs attorney is someone who represents the child/family and can consult with the family, help facilitate an IEP meeting, file a due process complaint, and/or can negotiate settlements to ensure that the child is getting the education he/she is supposed to get. A parent may need a special needs attorney if parents have requested in writing an evaluation and they haven't been provided one or if the school continues not to comply with the IEP. One can find a special needs attorney by doing a google search, or using COPAA. When looking for a special needs attorney, you should look for someone who understands the situation you are going through, comprehends your emotional state, and is still able to explains the law and gets the best results they can get. It is highly recommended that parents don't go to the IEP meetings by themselves, in order to have emotional support and to have someone take notes for them.

Start with Child Find and then get an evaluation through the school or have one done on your own outside of the school. However, schools do not have to accept outside diagnoses or evaluations. You can always choose to challenge the conclusion to the school evaluation and request an independent evaluation. A lot of times, the school doesn't accept the diagnosis because they cannot or choose not to provided accommodations or services related to that diagnosis. Make sure IEP goals are measurable goals, so teachers can take data and provide you with progress updates, so you are making sure they are following the IEP goals and that your child is meeting his goals.

When a parent disagrees with the IEP or the classroom placement, you should start out with a conversation with the team. Make sure to document this with a follow up email summary. If this doesn't work, you can file a due process complaint requesting a hearing, you can do mediation, or you can request a facilitated IEP meeting. A due process hearing is a legal hearing with an impartial hearing officer who hears the evidence, with witnesses on both sides who testify. It is just like a regular court case; you get the decision via email but it is a legally binding decision, which can be appealed. Mediation is a process with a meeting with a neutral mediator who sees if a negotiated settlement can be reached. A facilitated IEP meeting is when you want an IEP meeting to resolve outstanding issues but you feeling like communication is poor and you ask the office of dispute resolution to facilitate the meeting. If a parent feels that their child's rights have been violated, you can also file for a due process hearing. If you lose, you can appeal to federal court.

Links for Attorney Price:

Website 1 Website 2 Twitter Instagram Facebook

Council Of Parent Attorneys and Advocates Don't IEP Alone

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 52: Implementing The IEP With Guest Anna Distefano

In this episode, we discuss the nitty gritty of implementing your child's IEP. Guest Anna Distefano noted that a child can be "flagged" for special education in preschool. Before even having an IEP meeting, the child's teacher is supposed to take data, gather information, observational and anecdotal information and get a sense for where the child is having difficulty and then bring that information to the parent. During the IEP meeting, parents should ask what their child's day looks like. Parents should make sure that it is a day that the child can actually handle. Sometimes, when children are in special education classes, their days are very busy because they are not only in classes, but they are in numerous therapies as well, with lots of transitions.

The teacher and specialist should have an idea of what setting would be the most apporpriate for the child. In an inclusion classroom, the teacher should be able to provide differentiated instruction and scaffolded work to make sure that the child can access the information. This works best when the general education and special education teacher work together. When there is an aide in the classroom, the goal is that the aide should make sure the class is set up to let the child be as independent as possible and the aide should jump in as needed. Inclusion is more difficult in upper grades because the curriculum and content becomes more difficult. Therefore, the child may benefit more from being in a special education class for some classes and in inclusion classes for other subjects. The purpose of inclusion classrooms vary by child. This could be to learn academics, social skills, gross motor skills, or something else.

You have the right to observe your child in his/her classroom to see if your child is appropriately accessing their education in their self-contained or inclusion classroom. Schools and teachers should be taking consistent data on the child for the IEP goals. This can help the parent and team see if the IEP is being implemented properly and to see if it is working. Each teacher that works with the child should be taking data for the child in some way. However, there are many ways to take this data. Teacher should have the training to be able to implement the IEP.

Parents should be getting progress reports every quarter. These reports should show progress on each goal. If not, it may be helpful to call an IEP meeting to figure out what to do. If the child has mastered a goal, it can also be helpful to call a meeting to update the goals to go to the next level.

Links For Anna: Twitter Instagram Facebook LinkedIn Website

Newsletter Archives

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 51: Coping With NICU Stays While Abroad With Guest April Wilhelm

In this episode, we discuss managing NICU stays while attempting to return home abroad and also managing your newborn's special needs. Guest April Wilhelm was living in Japan, where her Navy husband was stationed. She went to visit her family in the States before giving birth. As she was on the way to the airport to return home, she went into labor! She thought she was experiencing Braxton Hicks, but her husband recommended that she get checked out by her doctor. She went to the ER, only to find out that she actually was in labor! Her water broke at 26 weeks. She had to transfer hospitals to one where they felt comfortable taking care of preemie babies. She gave birth 2-3 days later. Her daughter was in the NICU for 90 days.

For April, the NICU stay was really hard because she had nowhere to stay, and had to change hotels every few days. She also didn't have a car for transportation. Plus, her older son was with her and needed to stay with someone and attend school, since he was nowhere near his school. Eventually, she found a space at the Ronald McDonald House. Her husband was still on active duty, and could get a call from his command and would have to leave immediately. Her daughter's condition was also tenuous. Therefore, of course, April really struggled to cope. April experienced a lot of guilt in the NICU, because if her child was having a good day, another child might not be.

The Ronald McDonald House was really helpful to help April cope, because it was a positive atmosphere and the other parents often reached out to her. At the house, they provided counselors and cooked for her, and always asked how her daughter was doing. At the hospital, the resource and support center was able to help get her son enrolled in school. They helped her find cool places to eat, and gave her free bus passes to help her explore the city. After her daughter was released from the hospital, her family was unable to return to Japan, because there were very strict regulations and restrictions regarding health, and her daughter was deemed too sick to return. Her husband was transferred to San Diego, where her daughter would be able to get excellent care for her health conditions.

Currently, her daughter is experiencing developmental delays, but is making gains across the board. Her daughter was born with underdeveloped lungs, with subsequent chronic lung disease, due to being born so early, and she also heart heart defects. Her daughter is 17 months old and she still uses oxygen at night to reduce apneas. She also gets a shot every month to protect her lungs and her immune system. April has an older son, who goes to school. Unfortunately, if he brings illnesses home from school, her daughter's cold turns into pneumonia.

Reaching out to other people who understand what it is like was very helpful to April. Counseling has also been helpful. Having an outlet, such as work, was very useful.

Links: Instagram Ronald McDonald House Calm App BuzzFeed Hot Mess Mom Video

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 50: Finding Special Needs Resources With Guest Contessa Louise Cooper

In this episode, we discuss having adult children with autism and developing resources for others. Guest Contessa Louise Cooper was a young mom. Her son was born at 34 weeks and had a NICU stay. She knew early on that he had special needs, but back when he was born, there were no diagnostic resources, so he wasn't diagnosed with autism until age 9. She noted that back in the 1980's and 1990's, there were no resources, guidance, therapies, or help for her. She had to trust her gut and her maternal instincts and do the best she could for her son. She chose to take him out of traditional high school and instead have him do a work-study program to prepare him for the work world. This program had him try a different job every semester. However, even working with 5 job coaches, there were no jobs available to him and the job coaches were not able to help. Unfortunately, if there were jobs available, he would have to work with another person to provide support for him, and this would lead to a significant added expense. Additionally, there is a very long wait list for jobs such as these. Contessa had just gotten her son into a weekly social outing group, which is now canceled due to COVID.

She noted that four things help her cope. Puberty allowed her son to calm, which led to a reduced number of outbursts. She lets her son he as independent at her can be. She also got to know her son very well and makes sure that he gets what he needs. She also learned to pick and choose her battles and only enforces the more important rules.

For a long time, she experienced terrible isolation. She didn't know anyone else who had children with autism. Other parents didn't want their kids to her around her son because they though their children would "catch" autism. Or, the didn't want their children to be around her son's behaviors. She also noticed that people talked about her and her son behind their backs. The saving grace was one of her son's teachers, who ended up adopting a child with special needs. Having someone that she could share everything with greatly helped to lessen her isolation.

Links for Contessa: MAA Center Unpuzzled Her Website Instagram Twitter Facebook

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 49: Beating Burnout in 2020

In this episode, we discuss beating burnout in this crazy year of 2020. Burnout can happen in many ways but is super common due to crazy work schedules or raising children with numerous special needs. We discuss the signs and symptoms of burnout, as well as our experiences with burnout. Jess speaks about the easy ways to beat burnout, including:

• Staying social and finding support.
• Delegating and saying no, when possible.
• Make healthy choices.
• Engage in pleasurable activities on a daily basis.
• Use relaxation strategies like slowed deep breathing, body scan, or mental vacations.
• Bring back creativity!
• And, of course, mindfulness!

Email us if you have any questions or ideas!

We are now on instagram!

Check out updates on our website.

Follow Thriving on Twitter.

Check out our Facebook Page!

Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group!

We are on pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music:

Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 48 : Supermom Is Getting Burnt Out With Guest Torie Henderson

In this episode, we discuss burnout in special needs parents and how to combat burnout. Guest Torie Henderson defines supermoms as moms who try really hard to do everything right, so they get exhausted and they put the children's needs before their own. Torie discusses 4 stages of burnout. The first stage is when you are all in, putting the supermom cape on and throwing yourself into trying to fix the problem. But we can't stay in that stage, as we need to take time to ourselves, or we will continue to burn out. The second stage is self-care wear, where your children are thriving but you are dragging, your health and exercise has dwindled, and you feel guilty if you take a break. Your to-do list is dragging you throughout your day. We start sneaking in indulgences, like watching more TV, drinking more alcohol, or eating more food. Stage 3 is being chronically cranky. You always wake up tired and are always grumpy. You are snappy and impatient and can't get into a good mood. You always feel burdened and look for someone to blame (often ourselves or our spouse). Everything feels overwhelming. Happy people annoy you. Stage 4 is full burnout, where you are going through the motions but don't feel alive. You don't even know what you like or what you miss anymore. You don't feel like yourself anymore. This is when the hospital fantasies kick in. We get to stage 4 by not taking care of ourselves and not asking ourselves what we need.

To combat burnout, Torie recommends writing yourself a letter from your future child thanking you for all the wonderful things you have done for the child and then reading it whenever you need to see it. It is important to be getting as much as you are giving, in order not to get burnt out. We need to do self-care things that let us surrender, like yoga, massage, or chiropractic. Torie also recommends writing in a journal, which can help you stay in touch with yourself and see what is going on in your head/doing brain dump. This can help you figure out what you are feeling and what you want at that moment. You can fantasize about all the things you want your life to be in the future. It helps you figure out what could be next for you and to remember that you have an identity that is separate from your kids. It helps you find out what can fill your cup back up. When you are moving toward or are already in burnout, life coaching can be helpful. Self-care is very important, but moments or rituals of pleasure are key. If you can take some time away from the house, even for a short period of time, it can help as well, because it is hard for us to focus on ourselves when others are around. Getting outside can help a lot. Work on prioritizing what is important to you. If people don't have the time or money for self-care, it is time to remember that "you have to, you need to, and you should" take care of yourself in any way you can. We need to remember that we have choices and that everything we do is a choice, even if it is something that doesn't feel good or has negative consequences. This gives us empowerment.

Links for Torie: Website Journal Prompt Facebook Page Facebook Group - Supermom is Getting Tired Supermom is Getting Tired Podcast

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple

Episode 47: Emotion Regulation in Children With ADHD and Autism With Guest Dr. Claire Thomas-Duckwitz

In this episode, we discuss emotion regulation in children with ADHD and autism. Guest Dr. Claire Thomas-Duckwitz discusses that emotion regulation means managing strong emotions. Emotions have two parts: the physiological aspect and the subjective feeling state. To regulate emotions, you need to notice them and then manage them. Emotion dyregulation is defined as not effectively managing strong emotions. There are two types of behaviors that stem from emotion dysregulation: internalizing and externalizing behaviors. Internalizing behaviors are when one holds the emotions in, and this may look like anxiety and depression. A person might withdraw, and have headaches, stomacheaches, and/or dizziness. Externalizing behaviors happen when one expresses emotions outwardly, such as verbal or physical aggression.

It is important to note that all emotions have purpose. There is no such thing as good or bad emotions, just comfortable and uncomfortable emotions. Subtle emotions come first, and then the big ones, but we tend not to pay attention to the subtle ones, which we also need to pay attention to. It is important to note that emotions are transient. One can imagine that emotions are like clouds in the sky and just move on by. She recommends observing negative self talk and replacing it with realistic self-talk.

To prevent dysregulation, practicing mindfulness is very helpful. Mindfulness is being aware of your body in the moment, without judging your feelings or thoughts. It can bring permanent positive changes in the brain. Dr. Thomas-Duckwitz usually has her students use different mindfulness apps, as they provide needed structure. She recommends engaging in daily mindfulness. It is important for parents to help cue the children, because children often forget. One can use strategies such as noticing your breath or being mindfulness of sounds, or 54321 grounding. 54321 grounding is the following: noticing 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you feel, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. She recommends using this strategy when one is experiencing strong emotions to get one back in the moment. If one is noticing that their mind is wandering during mindfulness practice, she recommends thinking "oops" and then bringing their mind back to breathing. Parents of children with autism can find and read social stories for mindfulness to their children to help them learn the strategies. She also recommends using biofeedback strategies.

There are lots of things that parents can do to help their children with emotion regulation. First, parents need to regulate their own emotions. We can show our emotions and then model/explain what we are doing to manage them; in other words, narrate our experience. If we "mess up," we can tell our children what we should have done instead. Parents can also cue their children to engage in mindfulness and biofeedback strategies. Parents can also help children notice the child's strong emotions in the moment. We can help in other moments by naming subjective feeling states.

Links :

Links : A Little Cerebral Podcast Facebook Twitter Website

Second Step Committee for Children Smiley Minds App Mightier Whole Brain Child DBT Self Help Headspace App Think Social Everyday Speech No Drama Discipline Dr. Ross Greene Research on why mindfulness works: Paper 1 Paper 2 Paper 3

Email us if you have any questions or ideas! We are now on instagram! Check out updates on our website. Follow Thriving on Twitter. Check out our Facebook Page! Check us out on Facebook and join our parent group! We are also on Pinterest!

Please subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store, or wherever you find your podcasts, Leave us a 5 star review, to help us know what you like and what you don't like, and to make sure other like-minded people find support through this podcast.

Show Music: Intro Outro: Intro Outro 2 by Mattias Lahoud under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Theme Song: 90s rock style by monkeyman535 under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org) Self Care Song: Green and Orange No Water by Duncan Alex under CC-BY 3.0 License (www.freesound.org)

Hosted by: Jessica Temple and Lewis Temple

Disclaimer: Our show is not designed to provide listeners with specific or personal legal, medical, or professional services or advice. Parents of children with health issues should always consult their health care provider for medical advice, medication, or treatment.

Copyright 2020 Jessica and Lewis Temple