Hi Moms! Have you been flooded with ideas since your child’s diagnosis? Do you feel overwhelmed about how to channel all that energy? 

In episode 5, I introduced the concept of mom strengths. We all have strength, but they can be difficult to identify. This is important because moms can use their personal strengths to grow significantly in their autism journey. I offered a mini assessment to get moms started on strength identification.

Episode 9 made the connection of how using one’s personal strengths can lead to a positive centered life. I explored the benefits of using one’s strengths in episode 15. In episode 16, I explored how to grow in your autism journey by using your innate talents and unique experiences. 

In this episode, we consider the importance of using strengths to make things happen in your autism journey and increase productivity. 

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/23

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.

How mom’s experience receiving a diagnosis of autism for their child

When a mom gets an autism diagnosis for her child, everything changes. Her fears and questions multiple. Her mind is going in a million different directions. So, what does she do with all that energy.

Here are some possibilities:

1. You can continue to marinate in this nervous energy and get stuck in why this is happening. Doing so stunts your growth and keeps you from moving forward. If you do not deal with this and change your strategies and gain support, you will continue to be stuck. Your child will as well and likely decline or fail to progress.

Perhaps, this was your experience. It happens. You can move forward at anytime in your journey. Maybe, the time to move forward is now. If so, that should be celebrated. Let go of the past. Keep moving forward!

1. You learn so much about yourself in this process. There is potential for it to change you for the better. We have the option of using our pain and fear in circumstances to rise from the ashes and learn from these overwhelming life experiences. 

Life is about choices. Everyone moves forward in their own time. The point is that it is never too late. 

How do moms move forward in their journey successfully?

There is no perfect calculation for this that suits all moms. All moms are different and unique. We must look within ourselves to find the right tools. This is where our unique talents come in or strengths. 

In my experience, I took control of the situation fairly quickly and have found resources and tools to help my son. I had never considered myself a strong leader necessarily. His diagnosis gave me the opportunity to gain awareness of strengths I didn’t realize I had. 

Consider your experience at the start of your autism journey. What awareness did you gain about yourself? 

 In my experience with interviewing moms, I have noticed the tendency to pick up all balls and run with them. It amazes me how tenacious moms of autistics can be. 

I often hear that moms become case managers, speech therapists, teachers, and so on. Perhaps they were aware of their leadership qualities all along. However, it might be something that manifested itself along the way. 

Achieving positive growth in our autism journey starts with identifying and understanding our strengths

When you experience energy during a task, pay attention to that. That is a sign that you are using one of your str

Hi Moms! Do you feel like a failure as a mom? Do I have an episode for you! 

Settle in with me in the next few minutes to dive deeper into what it really means to fail and what it really means to succeed. Are these concepts as different as you think?

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/22

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.

Mindset can change your autism journey for the better

I talk about mindset quite a bit. Our mindset is at the core of our beliefs about life and how we experience the world. 

Carol Dwek has researched mindset for years. She talks about the power of yet. I love this concept! 

Are you focused on now or future? There is so much emphasis on being present or here in the now. That is a completely different concept. I am referring to focusing on the outcome. 

Let’s say that you are upset because you didn’t do well on a test. Does that mean you won’t reach your end goal of graduating? Of course not! That is just one grade or one test. 

How easily are you able to move on from something like that? If it is a struggle, that might be a red flag that you might be suffering from perfectionism. I talk about this more in Episode 21.

Another example might be that you are having a hard day. Your child is struggling and you snap at them in frustration, which increases their negative behavior and anxiety level. Are you the worst mom ever? Of course not! THAT is just a moment in time.

My point is that failure is a moment in time and not the greater outcome. Dwek refers to failure as “not yet” because there is still a path for growth if you allow for it, that is. 

Why not emphasize the “now” in your autism journey?

When we focus on “now,” we focus on the immediate outcome. If the imminent outcome is great, then wonderful! You got a high grade. You handled your child’s behavior well. 

If it isn’t the outcome you had hoped for then think, “not yet,” which means there is room for future success. 

I used to say that I kissed a lot of frogs before I met my husband. I learned something new from my previous relationships that prepared me for success with my husband. 

Another example is Benjamin Franklin. He said, “I didn’t fail, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” He knew that something came from each so-called failure. Something WAS learned, so it wasn’t a missed opportunity. 

Reimagining failure in your autism journey

In the beginning, I asked the question, “Do you feel like a failure as a mom?” We live in a society where people need affirmations to avoid falling apart. Moms of autistics don’t get a lot of validation or praise. People don’t always positively notice what we do and spend more time judging because they don’t understand. 

Beliefs are powerful. I have ONE piece of advice.. Don’t get in your own way! Don’t be your biggest barrier to moving forward.

How do you do this? Here are some tips for using failure for success as an autism mom:

1. Notice Efforts
2. Notice Progress
3. Don’t be now focused. Be future focused or “not yet” when things don’t go as planned. 

When I say notice, remember that noticing basically means encouraging. It goes a long way. 

Big Idea from Episode 22:

Mindset can make difficult times worse OR get you through the hard times! Neural connectivity strengthens in the brain when we progress and learn! Growth is evidenced in brain studies. How exciting is that!

Plan for future growth as an autism mom

In the next week, consider how you have handled disappointments along the way in your autism journ

Hi moms! What a great day to promote growth! I talk about this a lot because it is so important. I want that for you. YOU deserve to be at your best and find ways to not get stuck. It will help you in the inevitable hard times. 

All human beings know hard times all too well. It doesn’t discriminate. For moms of autistics, we share unique challenges and recognize the highs and lows in our journey. You are not alone!

When I talk about being YOUR best, I am not referring to being THE best. The goal of being your best results in living a positive centered life, which I introduced in episode 2. In episode 4, I painted a picture of what growth looks like in your autism journey as a mom and offered a mini mindset quiz. 

In episode 12, episode 18, and episode 19, I explore tips for growing mindset and associations with resiliency and grit. 

In this episode, I explore the dangers of perfectionism and its impact on growing as a mom of an autistic. 

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/21

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts.

Are you an autism mom that tends to be a perfectionist?

Perfectionism is tied to personality. Our patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are connected to our personality traits. 

Researchers have found that perfectionism is strongly associated with neuroticism and conscientiousness in regards to the Big Five personality traits. 

What does it even mean to be a perfectionist? 

Consider these statements:

1. I get upset when things don’t go as planned.
2. My standards couldn’t be too high.
3. I don’t want to be considered average. 
4. I often think I should have done better. 
5. I am disappointed in myself if I repeat a mistake.

Do any of these resonate?

Why is understanding perfectionism important for moms of autistics?

Perfectionism is thought to have some positive implications, but it is not without negative effects on many.

Our children, both neurotypical and neurodivergent, are little sponges. Their beliefs about the world partially come from us. They emulate us. 

Perfectionism can have a negative impact on well-being and potentially worsen conditions, such as OCD, anxiety, ASD, and depression. 

I am pretty sure I was a perfectionist in utero. The struggle is real. But I have come such a long way. 

My son struggles when things don’t measure the way they should or turn out a certain way. I mean it is a struggle. I have to be mindful of how I model life, so he learns that life is full of learning opportunities and it is okay to make mistakes along the way. 

How do moms of autistics transition away from perfectionism? 

First, you must consider your mindset. Start with questioning what drives you. 

If you are driven by being THE best rather than being YOUR best, that is likely a problem. THE best implies perfection. Your best meets you where you are at. 

For example, I used to be afraid to fail. Now, I embrace what I call learning opportunities. I haven’t failed. There is always something to learn. 

Not only do I see the difference, but I feel the difference. This shift in mindset has had a significant impact on my well-being. 

Here are 3 ways to shift your mindset for growth as a mom of an autistic:

1. Control the narrative by catching and changing stinkin

Hi moms! As we continue to explore community, I want to take a minute to let all you listeners know how much I appreciate you. I recently realized that the Thriving Moms of Autistics listening community has reached places all around the world beyond the United States. 

My heart could not be happier that you all are a part of it. This is my why! You are not alone. Thank you for listening!

As moms of autistics, gaining community is a process. It might start with finding a podcast or blog and develop from there. Knowing that there are people out there, who get it is so meaningful. Finding people to be directly a part of your group is powerful. 

In episode 19, I helped you assess what your current community looks like. In this episode, I look at barriers and help you establish characteristics that are important for you to have in others who join your community. 

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/20

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow their supportive community. You can also do this by leaving  a review on Apple Podcasts.

What keeps an autism mom from discovering their supportive community?

We recently explored how it can feel almost impossible to develop a solid support system. Remember, there is no perfect calculation for this. It is solely based on individual needs.

There are many hurdles for moms, who wish to surround themselves with others for support. It can be hard to find the right people. 

1. Time -One barrier to achieving this is time. You might work and care for your family. You might stay home and care for your family. 

Either way, your time is limited and filled with daily endeavors that must be accomplished. Your plate is quite full. When something is important, you make time for it, right? This is no different.

1. Age -The second is age. You might be a very young mother. Your peers haven’t quite settled down yet, but you are ahead of the game. Your interests are different from those your age. 

On the other side of the spectrum, you might be an older mom. I had my son at 41. My friend’s kids were having kids. I had very little in common with most moms in their 20’s. 

Now that my supportive community is in place, I have support from a variety of age groups. Age is just a number. When you have something in common, that is key. One of my best friends has an autistic son the same age as my own, but there is an 18 year difference between us. Yet, we are two peas in a pod.

1. Location -The more populated your area, the more likely you will find others with similar needs like you. However, you can find this in more rural areas too. I have seen it happen. 

You might have to get creative, but moms of autistics are good at thinking outside of the box. Part of your community might include service provides, which are limited in more rural areas too. With the rise of autism, services are evolving in a variety of areas. 

1. Access – Access to transportation might be an issue. This might impact your ability to travel to services, clinics, or events. 

However, the pandemic has brought additional online options and changed the landscape of bringing people together for both community and services. 

With that said, you must have availability to a computer, phone, and internet. Most towns have libraries with free internet access, which helps alleviate this need. 

1. Values -Differing values might impact your developing community. We are all different individuals, which is what makes us interesting and unique. I have many friends that are very different from me. We vary by back grounds, socioeconomic status

Hi moms! I started this podcast because I wanted to develop a resource where moms felt a little less alone on their journey.  I have learned that it is just as therapeutic for me. Thank you for joining me. Let’s promote self-growth and awareness together!

As moms of autistics, it can be a lonely road at times, especially in the beginning when you are trying to assimilate into your new life and find that many people don’t understand the changes you are making. 

In Episode 8, I introduced the concept of community. I shared my personal story and how my life changed when I developed a supportive community. Episode 10 focused on common barriers to building a community for moms of autistics. In episode 14, I offered 3 tools for your mom toolbox to deal with negativity from others. 

In this episode, I dive into what a supportive community looks like. This is different for everyone. You must dig deep to identify what YOU are looking for in terms of support. 

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/19

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow their supportive community.

Is growing a supportive community impossible for a mom of an autistic?

When you hear me talk about community, you might be thinking,

 “What community? I’m a single mom. I don’t have time for friends. My family doesn’t get it. My friends have no idea what I go through, although they try.” 

I completely understand that. Listening to podcasts and reading blogs is a great start. Someone lovingly told me, “You need more.” We just went through back-to-back health emergencies. 

We thought we were enough and that our only son had enough socialization at school. I’m a psychologist. I’ve got this, right? 

No, it isn’t enough. I am super independent and self-reliant. Society tells us that is the way, but it is not. We were not intended to go through life like that. 

The first step is seeking out free resources, such as this  podcast. I love that you have found the podcast. I want you to feel understood. Also, I want you to know that you are capable. The things you pull off daily for your child are beyond amazing. 

YOU have got this. You can do just about anything you put your mind to. I am proud of you! 

I know you tell yourself that you are not enough at times, but you are amazing and deserve to have support along the way! Having support is not a weakness. It’s a strength!

Where do moms start when developing a supportive autism community?

Imagine what your community might look like. The goal is to find others that get you and support you in your autism journey, right? 

Community might include other parents, teachers, therapists, family, friends, etc. Start by looking at your current community. Check out these questions!

Ask, what is good about my community?

What is not working in my community?

Hmmm, what did you find? Write it down!

Now that you have an inventory of what your current situation looks like, it is time to determine what you want in a community. This is the good part! 

Here are some things to consider when identifying the important aspects of your community and what you want it to look like. 

1)      What is important to you? You might not care for the puzzle pieces used to represent autism in some organizations. You might seek others who feel the same way. OR you might feel a certain way about it but not require that others have the same views. 

2)     What are your values?

Hi moms! I’m thrilled that you here devoting a little time out of your busy schedule to promote self-growth and awareness. That brings me so much joy!

As moms of autistics, we learn to adapt to changing behaviors and situations. Resilient moms bounce back after a challenging event. 

But it’s their grit that helps them to continue to forge on through difficult times. Both grit and resilience are characteristics that moms CAN develop if you haven’t already.

In episode 17, I established that your mind is one of the greatest tools in your mom toolbox. In this episode, I will explore the role that grit plays when turning challenges into growth opportunities.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/18

Please share the podcast with other moms. Help them feel connected while sharing a supportive resource.

Do moms of autistics tend to have higher grit?

I suspect that autism moms are some of the grittiest moms around. One day, I would like to test this hypothesis in a future research project. As a group, we push through some very serious obstacles. 

I love Angela Duckworth’s work on grit. She has a quick, 10-item scale you can take on her website. I scored higher than 95% of American adults in a recent study. 

Grit has nothing to do with talent or luck. It has everything to do with your calling or passion for something. It drives you to continue on even in the darkest times. 

What role does grit play into how moms of autistics move forward in challenging times?

You might have heard about grit. It is an important concept in positive psychology that is increasing in popularity and the scholarly research. Individuals with grit have greater self-control and perseverance in difficult situations. 

Here are some curiosity questions to get you thinking about grit.

1. Do you give up easily or keep going when it’s hard?
2. Do you find it easy to stay on course or get distracted?
3. Do you lose interest easily or stay focused on tasks?

The research shows that grit and self-control are predictors of achievement and success. They are likely greater predictors than IQ or talent. 

Why is grit important for moms of autistics?

Mindset is very important for moms and how they experience their autism journey. There is a connection between grit and growth mindset. 

As I mentioned previously, individuals can develop grit and resilience. It is suspected that a growth mindset helps build grit. 

Let’s think about grit in real world terms for moms of autistics.

You’ve learned that your child is autistic. You’ve dived into all things autism to learn what your child needs to grow and develop. Rather than quit or give up, you’ve decided to keep moving and do all you can to support your child. 

You have neurotypical children. Raising them was quite different. Now what? What worked for them is not the same as your autistic. 

With professional guidance, you have implemented many of the recommendations by your child’s therapist to streamline the wins from therapy to home and school. 

You consider placing your child in sports but know it will be different for your child. You find groups that specialize with special needs to give your child the opportunity to experience sports and meet them where they are at. 

If you live in a rural area, perhaps you have started a special needs sports group.

They have an opportunity to engage with other kids and learn skills that are important to their development. Is it the same as other team’s their age? No, but it is just what they need!

As a mom, you are experiencing things outside your comfort zone and continuing on because you are passionate about your

Hi moms! I’m so glad you are here and seeking growth and community. You deserve it!

Resiliency is key when faced with challenges. Moms of autistics are faced with many challenges as their child continues to grow. I get that there will be mountains in my journey, but those mountains are no match for me! I believe it and achieve it! That’s what I want for you too!

In this episode, I talk about ways to use those challenges for growth opportunities and use your mind as one of your greatest tools in your mom toolbox.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/17

Please share the podcast with other moms. Help others find the podcast and feel connected while creating a community of moms supporting one another.

The Importance of Positivity for Moms of Autistics

Researchers have found that moms of autistics, who exhibit a positive affect or positive emotions promote more flexible thinking, creative problem-solving, and effectively counteract stressors. This means that when you incorporate positivity into your daily routine it becomes a healthy habit and can buffer against the effects of stress that are associated with having an autistic. 

Does this mean you have to be positive all day every day? Of course not! That isn’t possible. We are human and must give ourselves permission to be imperfect. If not, we will only increase our stress. You don’t want that!

However, you are a work in progress, and you can strive to be your best with practice! Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes you at your best. That is what we strive for while giving ourselves grace when there are inevitable bumps along the way. 

What is a resilient autism mom?

Resilience is a well-researched concept in positive psychology. Resilience is our ability to bounce back and get back up when we have been knocked down. 

You might recall that I was told by a couple of doctors that I would not have children. I knew that at the age of 40, I was given a gift. And that he was a child like all children, who have a purpose. My miracle! I couldn’t wait to see his life unfold.

I remember when we were concerned that our son might be autistic and waiting for testing.  I felt like the breath was knocked out of me. I had to collect myself while we waited. Once we got the diagnosis, there was no time to wallow, yet we had to experience the grieving process. Everyone does! 

I had a new reality. I had to let go of what I thought my son’s life might be like and accept that things would be quite different. I was strengthening my resilience muscles. 

Resilience is a characteristic that can be developed. Along the way, there have been ups and downs. There have been many opportunities to learn. 

How Moms of Autistics Can Build their Resilience and Grow

Here are 5 things to consider that will help you exercise your resiliency muscles:

1. It starts with fostering awareness. This involves reflection. Ask yourself where things went wrong and accept your part in it. This allows you to learn from it. 

Make a decision to accept it, learn from it, and move forward. 

1. Consider how you might do things differently in the future. Embrace what went well even if the outcome was unexpected or not what you wanted. Sometimes that is hard to do, but this is something!
2. Find others who get it. It might be time to develop your supportive community if you do not have one already. It’s helpful to have someone in your corner who listens and doesn’t judge. Better yet, if it is someone who has been in your shoes. 

In my Thrive VIP Program, I work 1:1 with moms to help them develop community and grow their mindsets and personal resources. 

1. S

Hi moms! I’m so glad you are here and that you’ve taken some time for yourself to growth as a mom.

I’ve talked about personal talents or strengths in the past and how challenging it can be to identify our own strengths. I explored the key role of awareness and why strengths are so important in episode 15.

In this episode, I take it a step further and explore what sets moms of autistics apart and how to use that in addition to your existing strengths and talents to grow in your journey. 

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/16

Let’s create a community of moms! Help others find the podcast by sharing the podcast.

What are some of the unique experiences of moms of autistics?

I love talking with moms and hearing their stories. Although each story is different, I often hear similar themes that tie our experiences together. Here are 6 themes that I have found.

1. The little things in life aren’t so little to us.

There is no such thing as “the little things” in the world of autism. Things that most moms take for granted, moms of autistics cherish. 

1. We love to hear our child talk!

How often have you heard, “Oh, he’s not talking yet? One day you will wonder if he ever shuts up!” I waited so long to hear his words and his voice that I am so thankful when he demands that I listen to him endlessly talk about cars or the city he is building. It brings me great joy! I joyfully stop what I am doing to listen.

1. We love the simple things.

One of the things that moms of autistics get excited about is the simplicity of it all. It doesn’t take much to get our child’s attention. They can play for hours lining up cars or dolls. It seems so simple to us, but they are measuring and perfecting something so beautiful that is beyond our comprehension. 

1. We have an unusual bond with our child. 

One of my closest friends once reflected on her relationship with her young autistic. She said, “Even though we don’t have conversations, we connect on a whole different level.” I get that! I recall knowing what my son needed before he started to talk at age 5. 

1. We see the world differently.

We learn so many things from our autistics. They have such a different view of the world. It rubs off on us. We start to see things that others do not. We become much more perceptive. 

1. We become more flexible.

I am much more flexible than I was before I had my son. Many moms have pointed out that they were so ridged in their thinking before having their child. Having an autistic causes you to become more flexible to their needs. Otherwise, life gets pretty hard. 

How does this tie to your natural talents as a mom of an autistic?

I have given you examples of how we transition maternally after having an autistic child. These experiences change us for the better. 

Can you imagine what it would be like if you accompanied your natural talents with these experiential growth opportunities that I’ve listed? Wow! Your autism journey would be so different! 

There is always room to grow. That is why I am constantly looking for growth opportunities. I see that rub off on my son, which seems to lighten his load. I love that because autistics face many challenges. I do what I can to make things a little bit better for him. 

Let’s say that your experience as a mom of an autistic made you much more perceptive. What if you learned that wisdom was one of your strengths? Imagine how you could use that personal strength to grow as a mom? 

Our innate strengths are powerful in our journey. But we must be aware of our strengths first. Otherwise, growth cannot occur.

Autism is a lifelong experience. In your journey, you will have time to

Everyone has personal strengths. In fact, we all have more than one. We are often not aware of our strengths. How can you use your strengths to improve your well-being if you lack awareness? You can’t!

In this episode, I will explore how strengths are tied to well-being and your relationship with your child and others. You don’t want to miss this one.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/15

Please share the podcast with other moms. When you do, you help others find the podcast and feel connected. Let’s form a community of moms supporting one another.

What are your strengths as a mom of an autistic?

Sometimes, we are at least semi-aware of our strengths. However, we might be completely unaware of our strengths. 

The first step in to gain awareness of your strengths. I help moms identify their personal strengths 1:1 in my VIP Program. 

So, what are strengths? There are a variety of strengths, which are related to your personality. You might be stronger in some areas than others. We all possess these strengths to some degree, but it varies by individual. 

Some examples of strengths include curiosity, fairness, gratitude, honesty, bravery, creativity, leadership, perseverance, just to name a few. You can learn so much about yourself by gaining more awareness of your strengths. 

What are 6 benefits of knowing your strengths as a mom of an autistic?

There are many benefits to understanding your strengths. Here are 6 benefits to start.

1. You learn so much about yourself. Parts of yourself will start to make sense and enable you to navigate your autism journey with more ease.
2. Understanding and using your strengths can help you foster a stronger relationship with your child and others. 
3. It can help you identify areas you are not as strong in and potential blind spots.
4. When you understand your strengths, you make connect more closely with the things you value, which impacts many areas of your life.
5. Your strengths come more naturally to you and influence your decision-making.
6. You can use your strengths for personal growth, implementing self-care, and setting boundaries with others. 

How can understanding your personal strengths help you relate to your child?

Once you are aware of your strengths, you can use those strengths to improve your relationship with your child. 

Are you a planner? Do you try to avoid unnecessary risks or tend to be cautious? Sounds like an autism mom to me! One of your strengths might be being prudent. 

You might use this strength to connect with your child by planning a schedule or planning meals for the week. Autistics tend to succeed when they know what to expect. 

How can understanding your personal strengths help you relate to others in day-to-day activities?

Do you tend to have greater self-awareness of your own thoughts and feelings? Do you tend to have awareness of the thoughts and feelings of others? 

One of your strengths might be social intelligence. Individuals with this talent naturally read the room quicker or catch their own stinking thinking quicker than others.

This will help them regulate their emotions better and prepare for potential problematic encounters with others. 

Autism Mom Strengths Are Not One Size Fits All

My innate strengths might now be the same as yours. These talents contribute to uniqueness and can be used to experience life  challenges differently leading to a positive centered life. 

I consider my strengths as gifts or blessings that can change the course of my journey. You can too! For more on uncovering your strengths, check out podcast episode 5 and

Moms of autistics experience struggles with friends, family members, and even strangers that do not understand autism. 

This is so common. In fact, this is one reason why I started Thriving Moms of Autistics. I want moms to feel like they have a safe place to feel understood. I want moms to know they are not alone. 

In this episode, I will explore the negativity moms of autistics often encounter from others and offer 3 tools to deal with this.

What are common sources of negativity for moms of autistics?

Unfortunately, there is quite a list. One source of negativity might come from family members. It doesn’t matter if your family is local or far away, they can impact your autism journey- positively or negatively. Relatives that live at a distance can be just as problematic as those you are near you day to day. 

One issue might be family events or holidays. Their misconceptions about autism might make them less forgiving during a behavior or even perplexed at how you prepare for a potential behavior to keep your child safe. 

I was blessed to grow up around my mom’s side of the family. I had two beautiful, amazing cousins with special needs. They made my life so much better. I am thankful for those experiences. Sometimes, there are things this side of my family might not understand, but they work with us to help my son because they get what it is like to have a child with special needs.

We don’t have that experience everywhere we go. Perhaps that is your experience too. It might be that you do not have anyone in your family that gets it. When someone you love doesn’t get autism and your child’s needs, that is so painful. 

Please remember that this has nothing to do with you. If they choose not to understand or even try, that is about them. Your job is to help and protect your child. 

I tend to meet people where they are at. If they chose to stay where they are and refuse to grow, I place my energy elsewhere. I don’t keep trying to convince them to love my family or understand our needs. That becomes their problem.

This comes from a growth mindset, which I explore in Episode 2, Episode 4, and Episode 12.

What if your family is all you have? It is time to find a supportive community. It sounds scary and even impossible. I get this! I talk about this in episode 8 and episode 10. I also explore this 1:1 with moms in my VIP Program. 

Another issue might be with your friends. Autism is hard for others to understand when they don’t have experience with autism or special needs. 

Sometimes, people walk on eggshells and worry that they may say or do the wrong thing. In turn, they unintentionally say or do things that are alienating. I choose to understand where this is coming from.

I had this experience with a mom group when my son was being diagnosed. There was a lot of denial with some. It was just new and uncomfortable for them. There were a couple that were genuinely supportive and wanted to understand. There were a handful that were not interested in understanding and very intentional in their actions. 

The same is true for strangers. Moms of autistics often encounter others that only experience a moment in time with you and your family. They don’t know your family’s special needs. They make assumptions and judgements, which aren’t helpful. 

3 Tools for Moms of Autistics to Deal with Negative Encounters with Others 

1. Stop and Consider 

 First, stop and consider the person and their potential motivations. This might differ for