Through the Fire: Trauma | Transparency | Triumph

Culture will dictate but you have to decide. Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share how jumping on bandwagons may be robbing you of your authenticity. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: The Bandwagon Effect, Reasons why people jump on bandwagons, How social media contributes to bandwagons, How consumer marketing plays a role in trends, How trauma can play a role in bandwagons, The importance of thinking for yourself, and How to make decisions that cater to an authentic you.

Reference: Bandwagon Effect as Cognitive Bias Article by Kendra Cherry

Reference: Bandwagon Fallacy Examples: Things people do because it's popular. Chris Drew (aka the helpful professor) is a university educator and former school teacher. Drew, C (June 15, 2022) 10 Bandwagon Fallacy Examples. Helpful Professor. https://helpfulprofessor.com/bandwagon-fallacy-examples/

Reference: Bandwagon Definition - Merriam Webster

Reference: Conform Definition - Merriam Webster

The Road Not Taken, poem by Robert Frost

Scripture References: Romans 12: 17-21 (TPT), Ecclesiastes 3:7, Matthew 5:44

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefireposcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @Montez Dove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

Sometimes life's circumstances can take us off course. However, we can be assured to know that there will always be a Re-Route. Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share how to navigate the detours of life. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: How to trust the Re-Route, How Re-seasons can lead to new beginnings, How Re-Routes can have good outcomes, How to find beauty in life's interruptions, How God's plan can triumph over life's challenges, and How God restores. 

Scripture Reference: Jeremiah 30:17

Resources: Crushing by T. D. Jakes
Divine Disruption by Dr. Tony Evans, Chrystal Evans Hurst, Priscilla Shirer, Anthony Evans, & Jonathan Evans
Dale Bronner
Restoration Snippet: Ty Bello

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @MontezDove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

There's an identity crisis going on. Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share the importance of learning your true identity and being authentically you. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: How to understand your identity, How to be authentically you, How traumatic seasons can affect your identity, How each person has been gifted, How each person should utilize their gifts, and How your gifts play a major role in your purpose.

Reference: I'm Gifted Series by Dharius Daniels on YouTube
Your Gifts Survey by Dr. Larry Gilbert found in the description from the I'm Gifted Series by Dharius Daniels

Reference: Identity Crisis Article - Very Well Mind

Reference: Joseph Prince Devotional App

Reference: Purpose Driven Enterprise by Kendra Y. Hill

Quotes: LeDessa Brown

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @MontezDove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

YOLO, you only live once! So how are you living? Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share how to make the most out of the one life you have been given. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: How the YOLO acronym was made popular, How your present decisions affect your future, How to make the most of your time, How to live an intentional life, and How to live responsibly. 

Reference: Here's the Real Meaning of 'Yolo" for Those Who Have No Idea by Elise Moreau updated 11/25/2019 - Liveaboutdotcome

Reference: Carpe Diem: Seize the Day (Ephesians 5:15-17) by Chris Mueller 11/25/2007 - Faith BibleChurch Media Library

Reference: Finding New Meaning in YOLO (You Only Live Once): How to Reclaim This Message for Faith by Brad Wright May 21 - CompassRose Academy

Scripture References: Romans 8:1, Hebrews 12:6-11, Proverbs 3:12, James 1:5, Proverbs 2:6, 1 John 2:16, Deuteronomy 30:19, John 9:4 

The Dash, poem by Linda Ellis

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @Montez Dove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

Feeling exhausted? If so, you could possibly be experiencing burnout. Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share how to recognize burnout. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: The meaning of burnout, The five stages of burnout, Signs and symptoms of burnout, How burnout can lead to illness, and Ways you can recover from burnout.

Reference: What is Burnout? - Helpguide.com

Reference: What Are the 5 Stages of Burnout? 11/5/2021 - Integris Health

Reference: Why Get Z Workers Are Already So Burned Out by Andrea Yu 5/26/2022 - BBC Worklife

Reference: The term "Burnout" was coined in the 1970's by the American psychologist Herbert J. Freudenberger - InformedHealth.org

Reference: Consequences/Health Affects: Mayo Clinic

Statistics: Deloitte and Indeed

God, Keep Me Balanced, poem by Montez Dove

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @Montez Dove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

Everything has a purpose, including your tears. Join host Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share the mental health benefits of shedding tears. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: The three types of tears, The benefits of crying, How crying releases stress, and How crying is sign of strength and not weakness.

Iyanla Vanzant: Crying is the ultimate cleansing and purification process. Each tear of sorrow we shed contains no less than 38 toxic chemicals. So cry away your fear, false beliefs, and negative emotions. Cry away every negative thought you have ever had about yourself.

Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School: Is Crying Good For You? Many American men withdraw emotionally and self medicate with  vices. 

WebMD - “Crying activates the body in a healthy way,” says Stephen Sideroff, PhD, a clinical psychologist at UCLA and director of the Raul Wallenberg Institute of Ethics.” Letting down ones guard and ones defenses and crying is a very positive, healthy thing. The same thing happens when you watch a movie and it touches you and you cry. That process of opening into yourself…it’s like a lock and key.”

WebMD - Is crying good for you? By Serusha Govender

Researchers at Tilburg University found that on average, American women cry 3.5 times each month while American men cry around 1.9 times each month. 

Tilburg University Crying and Mood Change Brecht, M.C.; Vingerhoets, A. J.J.M. Published in : Cognitive and Emotion Publish Date: 2002

Healthline: 9 ways crying may benefit your health Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Written by Ashley Marcin April 14, 2017

Healthline: Eight benefits of crying: Why it’s good to shed a few tears Medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD Written by Lana Burgess on October 7, 2017

Healthline: What are tears made of? 17 facts about tears that may surprise you Medically reviewed by Ann Marie Griff, O.D. Written by Adrienne Santos Longhurst on June 24, 2019

Institute in Basic Life Principles: The Power of Crying Out, relying on God in desperate times

What Christians Want To Know: What Does the Bible Say About Crying and Tears?
Article  by Crystal McDowell

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @MontezDove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

Grief is a normal part of life, and how we grieve makes all the difference. Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they share their personal grief stories and how they are overcoming. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: The five stages of grief, When you grieve yourself, When others grieve you, How it’s okay to ask for help, How to reframe loss, and How to transition grief into gratitude. 

Reference: Five Stages of Grief - Introduced by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book on Death and Dying, which was inspired by her work with terminally ill patients. Wikipedia

Grief: deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone's death (Google)

How to Grieve the Person You Used to Be, Shelby Forsythia

1. Take an identity inventory.

What about your old self—precisely—are you grieving?

2. Resist the urge to sanctify or vilify your old self.

It’s easy to try to separate from the person you used to be by making them into an image of perfection and happiness that you desperately want to. Acknowledge that your old self was human—containing both bad and good—and the person you’re becoming will be human too.

3. Create a ritual for grieving your old self.

One “upside” of society’s lack of ritual surrounding grieving your old self is that you have complete freedom to invent your own! Consider DIY-ing a grief ritual to suit the way you prefer to process your grief. 

4. Remember that all is not lost.

It might help you to remember that all is not lost; there are pieces of you that companion you across your lifetime. You still have some ground left to stand on.

5. Introduce yourself to your new self.

6. Practice living as your new self through self-compassionate trial-and-error.

Like a pair of worn-out shoes or jeans that are eight sizes too small. Show yourself mercy and gentleness as you try on new identities after loss. There’s no pressure to decide all of who you are today.

“Do not sit still; start moving now. In the beginning, you may not go in the direction you want, but as long as you are moving, you are creating alternatives and possibilities.” — RODOLFO COSTA

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @MontezDove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

Have you ever heard the saying, “You are what you eat?” Well, when it comes to your thoughts, “You are what you think.” Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they discuss the importance of a positive thought life. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: How to overcome a toxic thought life, How your thoughts can lead to Self-Sabatoge, How your thoughts can effect your mental health, and How to recognize and defuse cognitive distortions.

Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind by Joyce Meyer

Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts by Jennie Allen p.118-119:

Im afraid that I won't be able to withstand whatever the future might hold. I choose to believe God will not allow me to be tempted beyond what I can endure and will always give me the strength to overcome temptation.

I'm afraid that everyone will abandon me. I choose to believe God has promised not to leave me, and He always keeps His promises.

I'm afraid of being rejected. I choose to believe God has accepted me as His child and will never leave me.

75-98% of mental, physical, and behavioral illness comes from one's thought life.

It all begins and ends in your mind - Alyssa J Cori

Don't be a victim of negative self talk- remember you are listening - Bob Proctor

All problems are illusions of the mind- Eckhardt Tolle

Your strongest muscle and worst enemy is your mind. Train it well. - Anonymous

Harvard Health Publishing, Harvard Medical School: How to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions

A critical component to attaining the serenity and focus one needs to be a wellness coach, and to move past an addiction, is learning how to recognize and defuse the cognitive distortions that we all employ. Cognitive distortions are internal mental filters or biases that increase our misery, fuel our anxiety, and make us feel bad about ourselves.

Ruminative thinking — negative thought patterns that loop repeatedly in our minds

Rumination can represent an ongoing attempt to come up with insight or solutions to problems we are concerned about.

Black-and-white (or all-or-nothing) thinking: I never have anything interesting to say.

Jumping to conclusions (or mind-reading): The doctor is going to tell me I have cancer.

Personalization: Our team lost because of me.

Should-ing and must-ing (using language that is self-critical that puts a lot of pressure on you): I should be losing weight.

Mental filter (focusing on the negative, such as the one aspect of a health change which you didn’t do well): I am terrible at getting enough sleep.

Overgeneralization: I’ll never find a partner.

Magnification and minimization (magnifying the negative, minimizing the positive): It was just one healthy meal.

Fortune-telling: My cholesterol is going to be sky-high.

Comparison (comparing just one part of your performance or situation to another’s, which you don’t really know, so that it makes you appear in a negative light): All of my coworkers are happier than me.

Catastrophizing (combination of fortune-telling and all-or-nothing thinking; blowing things out of proportion): This spot on my skin is probably skin cancer; I’ll be dead soon.

Labeling: I’m just not a healthy person.

Disqualifying the positive: I answered that well, but it was a lucky guess.

Many of us engage in emotional reasoning, a process in which our negative feelings about ourselves inform our thoughts, as if they were factually based, in the absence of any facts to support these unpleasant feelings. 

Emotional reasoning often employs many of the other cognitive filters to sustain it, such as catastrophizing and disqualifying the positive

Examples of this may be thinking:

I’m a whale, even if you are losing weight

I’m an awful student, even if you are getting some good grades

Forgiveness is something we need to give as well as receive. Join host Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they discuss the peace and freedom that’s found in the act of forgiveness. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: What forgiveness entails, The importance of forgiveness, Forgiving others, Asking for forgiveness, Forgiving ourselves, and The freedom of letting go.

Reference Book: Forgiving Others:The Key to Healing and Deliverance by Frank Hammond

Book Referral: Forgive So That You Can Be Forgiven by Bishop T. D. Jakes

Sun Valley Community Church: What the Bible Says About Forgiveness

Resentment: bitter indignation (anger/annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment) at having been treated unfairly (Google)

Are You Ready To Be Coached? Brenda Steinberg: Capacity for Forgiveness: "Even if you feel you've been mistreated, it's essential to make peace with the past and channel your energy into progress. The need to "be right" or "show them" is rarely helpful for you or the people you work with. You must be willing to forgive and move on."

Series of quotes stated was from Jonanthan McReynolds

Songs:

A Heart That Forgives by Kevin LeVar

A Heart Like Yours by Cece Winans

"Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting on the other person to die." - Anonymous

Johns Hopkins: Forgiveness: Your Health Depends On It

Forgiveness can lower the risk of heart attack, improve cholesterol levels and sleep, reduce pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression, and stress

Unforgiveness: Due to the change in heart rate from fight/flight mode, blood pressure, immune response, depression, heart disease, and diabetes can all be negative affected

People who hold on to grudges are more like to experience severe depression and PTSD

62% of American adults say they need more forgiveness in their personal lives.

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @MontezDove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com

Being transparent isn't always easy, but it's necessary if we want to live more authentic lives. Join hosts Montez Dove and Cedricia Thomas as they encourage listeners to remove the invisible masks and live a life of freedom from trauma. In this episode, Montez and Cedricia discuss: The importance of being transparent, What's required to be transparent, The pros and cons of being transparent, The negative effects of not being transparent, How being transparent can lead to help and healing, and How being transparent can help others. 

Quote: "If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm." - Brene Brown

Join Through the Fire Podcast on Facebook @throughthefirepodcasts and on Instagram @throughthefirepodcast

For more on Cedricia Thomas, follow her on Instagram and Facebook @cedriciathomas

For more on Montez Dove, follow her on Instagram @thepoeticinsp and Facebook @MontezDove or visit thepoeticinspirations.com