This week we’re going to return our sights to the Merovingian kings. They’ve been so quiet in this time period and overshadowed by such larger-than-life personalities that it’s easy to look past them, but they deserve a glance. One thing we hit on pretty hard in the opener of today's episode is the idea of legitimacy and pretenders to the crown, so let’s start off today by taking a look at the history of paternity in the Merovingian Dynasty before getting back to our particular timeline in 716.

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Listenable: History of the Merovingians, 451-613

This week, welcome to Charles “The Hammer” Martel. I’ll be honest, up until this point you would be excused if you hadn’t heard of most of the names we’ve covered on this show. Clovis, Chlothar, Brunhilda, Fredegunda and Theuderic are not exactly household names; hell, even in France, the name of Dagobert is really mostly remembered because of the nursery rhyme associated with him and putting his pants on backwards. Charles Martel, however, is a name that most people are at a minimum aware of, and for many, the name is quite well known.

With that said, however, I offer a disclaimer: Charles Martel, as we’ll see in just a few episodes, is best known for his defeat of the Saracens at the Battle of Poitiers in 732. It is because of this victory that many far-right groups in our current day and age have appropriated the memory of Charles Martel as a symbol of armed resistance to “invaders.” This has sickeningly manifested to a point wherein the Christchurch, New Zealand, perpetrator of two mosque shootings claimed to have been inspired by Charles Martel, and in the United States, the Charles Martel Society is an American white nationalist organization that is apparently quite active to this day. Honestly, I found a few things in the research that turned my stomach, so be careful and be aware if you decide to look up things about Charles yourself. Beyond that, let me just say right now that we think that the entire notion of white extremism is gross, reprehensible and idiotic, so if you’re here in the hopes of hearing us glorify Charles Martel as some sort of medieval protector of whiteness, well, you’ve come to the wrong place. You’re gross and reprehensible, and you can go away; to paraphrase signs from what you probably think was a “better time”: we don’t serve your kind here.

Okay, moving past that unfortunate disclaimer, let’s look at the actual history of the man who would come to be known as “the Hammer.” And let’s start with that awesome, WWE-like surname. Here’s the thing: it actually is a WWE-like surname that was bestowed on Charles, especially after his victory in Poitiers in 732. At the time we’re talking about Charles in the opener he would have simply been known as Charles, a 26-year-old last-best-hope to keep Austrasia from being wiped off of the map altogether.

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Links to social media and the website:

Listenable: History of the Merovingians, 451-613

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @thugsandmiracle (with no “s” on the end)

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Hello and happy Memorial Day to all of you out there enjoying a long weekend in the States; for all of my U.K. listeners, happy Spring Bank holiday! I’m not going to lie, that’s possibly the least sexy way of saying “long weekend” that I’ve ever heard, but I digress. For everyone else, welcome to the last day of May.

Today, we’re actually going to take a bank holiday ourselves from the normal T+M timeline, but this doesn’t mean that we’re leaving you stranded with nothing to listen to. Quite the opposite, in fact…

Today we have the pleasure of working with Kristin Robyn Terpstra of the History Cache podcast. She has been gracious enough to allow me to download one of my favorite episodes from her show and highlight it here, and I think you’re honestly going to love it. First off, it features one of the great female personages of all time, Olympias. If you’re not familiar with her, don’t worry, Kristin is going to get you up to speed. But as a quick introduction, Olympias is best known as being the mother to Alexander the Great and wife to Phillip II of Macedon. She’s known for being an absolutely imposing figure and ruthless mother, as well as someone who enjoyed keeping snakes in her bed, because who doesn’t keep snakes in their bed, amiright?!

All of that leads us to point number two, which is that Olympias is actually far more compelling than these simple anecdotes about her would lead people to believe. She was a complicated, fascinating person, and Kristin does a wonderful job of moving past the stereotype to help us understand a little bit more about who the real Olympias may have been.

And all of that leads me to Kristin; if you’re not already listening to the History Cache, seriously, what are you waiting for. This lady can tell a story like no one else, and her ranges of topics are so varied that there’s something available for everyone. Tribes in the Amazon rainforest? Check. Shackleton and Antarctic exploration? Check. Multiple real life 20th century heist stories? Check and check. All of this is to say that Kristin is standing by to tell you something that you may or may not already know, and either which way, she’s going to tell it to you in a way that will have you binging in short order, and sad when you get to the end of her 43 episode catalogue.

With all of that as prologue, please, settle in and get ready to enjoy Part 1 of Kristin’s Olympias trilogy. And when you’re done, be sure to subscribe to History Cache to catch the rest of the story. I’m going to stand to the side now and let my friend and fellow podcaster do the rest of the talking; Kristin, take it away!

This week, we’re going to wrap up what has been a three-part examination of the life and achievements of Pépin d’Herstal, a.k.a. Pépin II, a.k.a Pépin the Younger, a.k.a. Pépin le Gros. Pépin was a larger-than-life figure, a man who ruled Francia in part or in whole for nearly three and a half decades through legitimacy gained by the force of his will. He was the physical embodiment of two great houses, the Pippinids and the Arnulfids, coming together, and during his time in power he transcended the reigns of five kings: Dagobert II, Theuderic III, Clovis IV, Childebert III and Dagobert III. As this show purports to be a history of France, as seen from the eyes of her Kings and Queens, well, the eyes of the monarchy at this time were pretty much glued to Pépin and doing his bidding. He was the king in all but name.

For what it's worth, we're going to spend this show looking at how Pépin stabilized his family and legacy. He didn’t stray far from the established way of doing things: he had children. The women he had these children with were every bit as strong and willful as their husband, and the fight they'll put up in the wake of Pépin's death to get their progeny seated into power will define history as much as any action Pépin took himself. So sit down, strap in and get ready: the ladies are taking over this week!

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Links to social media and the website:

Listenable: https://frstre.com/go/?a=76205-87a7d9&s=1771309-31fae8&p_affiliate.referral_code=benjaminbernier

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

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Click here to check out the Listenable course mentioned at the end of this episode!

This week we’re looking at the end of Theuderic III… which just happens to also be the beginning of Pépin d’Herstal as princeps, the Prince/Duke of the Franks. Remember, Theuderic and Pépin went to battle twice before Pépin took over in his new role, so to say that the two men had a good working relationship would be a complete lie. Their relationship, if it can even be called that, is more akin to a master and servant, but in this case the roles were reversed. A king in almost any other context would be served by his advisors, but in this case the king is in place for no other reason than to legitimize the advisors.

In losing at Tertry, Theuderic became little more than an object to be possessed, and for the rest of the Merovingian Dynasty, this was all that the kings would be.

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On a different (yet related) note, in the past month I’ve been working with an audio course company called Listenable to create a truncated version of what we’ve learned so far. The course, unsurprisingly called “History of the Merovingians (451-613),” breaks down the first half of the Merovingian Dynasty into bite-size chunks: 15 lessons of less than 10 minutes each. If you’re new to the podcast and want to get the Cliff Notes version of what we discussed in Season 1, or if you just want a quick refresher without having to go through all 12 1/2 hours and 25 episodes, then you should head on over to Listenable to give them a try. On top of my course, they also offer powerful, bite-sized audio courses authored by well‑loved experts on a variety of subjects. It’s a perfect format for listening and learning, especially on-the-go. You can give them a try for seven days completely free; just click one of the links to check it out! If you appreciate the content we’ve brought to you so far and want to help the show out, this is a perfect way to do so. I’m pretty excited about the whole experience and like that I have a new way to get this amazing story out to the world, so please, click the link and check out Listenable.io or search for Listenable in the Apple App Store.

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Links to social media and the website:

Listenable: https://frstre.com/go/?a=76205-87a7d9&s=1771309-31fae8&p_affiliate.referral_code=benjaminbernier

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @thugsandmiracle (with no “s” on the end)

Facebook: @ThugsAndMiracles

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This week we’re finally looking at the do-nothing kings, les rois fainéants, as exactly that: kings who sat the throne, and besides the title and crown, had very little to say in the actual administration of the land over which they nominally ruled.

This week, we’re going to take our focus down just a little bit. Last week we discussed the reigns and fates of four kings; this week, we’re going to look at just one: King Dagobert II. Now, to be honest, Dagobert II is almost completely superfluous to our story insofar as how he affected history. As a king, he only ruled from 675/6 until 679. He passed no sweeping laws or reforms, he added no children to the historical record to later vie for his crown, and his military/foreign affairs record was mixed. He signed a peace treaty with the Lombards, noted by Paul the Deacon in his book History of the Lombards, but his advisors also went to war with the Neustrians… and lost.

 

The story of Dagobert II is much more sad than the conspiracies would have you believe. The facts lead us to believe that this Merovingian King was the epitome of a pawn: he had his throne stolen from him; he was brought back (if it was even him that returned) when it suited someone else; he was killed when yet another person hoped to gain from his murder; and a future King had him canonized for no really good reason other than by doing so it helped that King. His skull, which is probably not his skull, has been revered as a relic, and his name and likeness has been used in forged documents to push a ridiculous conspiracy theory. Dagobert II may, in our opinion, be the single most victimized, abused, and misused person to yet pass through our history. His story expresses the exact opposite of agency, the idea of being in control of one’s fate and decisions. The fact that he, or someone carrying his name, eventually became a King and a Saint is little solace for someone who, more than likely, died in 657, aged eight or younger, all so that a greedy, power-hungry Mayor could put his own son on the throne of Austrasia for a short period of time.

 

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Links to social media and the website:

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

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This week we’re going to run through four kings in short order. Up until this point we have been able to see most of the rois fainéants for what they were: well-meaning young kings who, by dint of having taken power at an exceptionally young age, were rarely out of their majority for long enough to make a large historical difference. A combination of bad health and bad luck led to most of them failing to live out their 20s; Chlothar II was the most recent ruler to see his 40s, dying in 629, and it would be over 80 years before another Frankish monarch could lay claim to having attained such an “ancient” age.

 

With that said, let me introduce you to the four kings we'll be discussing this week: Chlothar III, King of Neustria (oldest son of Clovis II and Bathilda), Childeric II, King of Austrasia (second oldest son of Clovis II and Bathilda), Clovis III, King of Austrasia (illegitimate son of Chlothar III), and Theuderic III, King of Neustria (youngest son of Clovis II and Bathilda). Altogether, these kings had a short tenure in power and were completely outmatched and overpowered by their Mayors of the Palace. When someone uses the term roi fainéant, whether they know it or not, these are the kings they're alluding to.

 

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Links to social media and the website:

That's Not Canon: https://thatsnotcanon.com/home

 

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

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This week we’re finishing the trilogy that began back in Episode Nine when Grimoald rode out into a field following the death of King Sigisbert III, collected up two boys - his son, Childebert, and the Crown Prince, Dagobert II - then sent the latter into exile while placing the former onto the throne of Austrasia. This coup almost worked; however, unlike horseshoes and hand grenades, where “almost” is good enough, well… as we’ve seen, it wasn’t good enough to keep Grimoald from likely being tortured and executed, and it wasn’t good enough to keep Childebert III (a.k.a. Childebert the Adopted) on the throne.

 

Now, just because the coup didn't succeed doesn't mean there were no aftershocks. And the person who gained the most from these was Queen (and eventual Saint) Bathilda. Her son Chlothar III would end up ruling in Paris, while the second oldest, Childeric II, would head to the throne of Austrasia in 660. The third child, Theuderic, had been born near to the time of his father’s death, and was still very young, but would get his chance at a crown in due course. Altogether, these boys ensured that all parts of France were tied to Bathilda and her benevolence. She was Queen Dowager, Queen Mother and Queen Regent, positions she Usinnot have held if not for the Austrasian coup. She used the power available to her unique position to advocate for causes near to her heart: she ended unbearable taxes that led people to sell their children into bondage, or worse yet, to end the lives of infants that parents couldn’t sustain. These same taxes restrained many from marrying, and the good Queen discharged her people from these burdens, earning their love and devotion. Past all of this, she worked to put an end to slavery; not too bad for a woman who arrived to Francia in chains...

 

So come along as we see the notion of unintended consequences in action in this, the final episode of our Coup d'État trilogy!

 

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Links to social media and the website:

The Paranoid Strain: https://play.acast.com/s/the-paranoid-strain

 

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @thugsandmiracle (with no “s” on the end)

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This week we’re continuing the saga of the first attempted coup d’état that we’ve seen in our history so far. Sure, the Kings and Queens in our story have tried to overthrow one another pretty much non-stop since we’ve started, and there has also been a sizable list of people who have tried to invade. What makes this situation different is the fact that the coup is starting at the point where the monarchy should be the most protected: the Mayor of the Palace, the position responsible for guiding and advising the King - and especially the child Kings. So yes, we’ve seen armies raised and we’ve seen treachery before, but this is the first time that we’ve seen a conspiracy put into play that threatens to remove the Merovingians from power. And it could - foreshadowing - very well be a stepping stone on the path to developing the blueprint that does eventually succeed in removing this first dynasty from the throne.

 

So come along as we explore treason, the ultimate betrayal of trust, why a King is known to history as "The Adopted", and as we try to understand how such a significant historical event is hard to pin down, timewise, to within a decade.

 

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Links to social media and the website:

Site: https://www.thugsandmiracles.com/

Email: [email protected]

Twitter: @thugsandmiracle (with no “s” on the end)

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