Bob gets irritated about a high school scam site, while Miles drags his elderly mother to all the sites in Christmas.

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Bob gets irritated about a high school scam site, while Miles drags his elderly mother to all the sites in Christmas.

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Yes, Huey Lewis and Gwyneth Paltrow duet. You would be great in the sequel. Yeah. We’ll be doing it together. Oh, yeah. Hey, everyone. This is Miles. Miles, you’re singing co-host. That’s right. Miles, you’re working over there at the casino there on the river, are you now? I’m dirty dealing. I was thinking more you were the lounge singer. Oh, I see. Star Wars. Nothing but Star Wars. I enjoy singing, I just can’t sing. That is my problem. I think you do a, I mean, you know. Eh, I don’t know. A fine job. Eh. I don’t know if you knew this, but, you know, we’re here on Plausible, and Leanne sometimes sends out a thing that reminds people to come here, and usually it’s like a little clip, and it has music behind it. Mm-hmm.
Well, this week’s was some special music. Okay. It was the Baby Elephant song. Oh, I didn’t pay attention to that. Well, you love that song. I love that song. You love that song. I wrote, I said, I can’t believe that you chose that music. I mean, that’s hilarious. Because Miles used to go to all of the minor league baseball games where he lives and dance to that song. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You don’t want to say anything about it? No, I don’t want to say anything about that, no. You could get up and play that song and you would dance your heart out. Because I was a dancing queen. Dancing queen. Sing along with it. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was funny because it goes way back, way back. No one knew that, I’m sure. She put down a listing for a show. I go, yeah, it’ll leave you speechless. Yeah. And she just now saw it after I posted this like two weeks ago. Yeah.
Cause she’s lost her voice. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Like polyps or something. Yeah. She’s still lost. She’s still a never voice. I don’t think. Really? Yeah. I don’t think so. I think she’s still dealing. Oh, yeah. Now the other thing is you used to play that song with a stapler. Uh, yes, I did the library. Yeah. Yes, I did. I, I would do that. It was a squeaky stapler and I would, I would sing along to that song and use a stapler to annoy people. Right. Yeah. Or abuse them. It’s got a lot of connotation, the baby elephant song for you. It’s like, you know, and Snuffleupagus is your favorite Sesame Street character. Yeah. And you dress up as a furry as him and go to conventions. You know me too well. You know me too well, yeah. You like to walk around and go, hey, brr.
I do the front part and some other guy does the ass part because it’s like a two-man furry costume. Yeah, you got to get some accomplice. It’s kind of like a human centipede kind of thing. Yeah. Oh, no. I got gas. Oh, my God. We all ate burritos. Oh, shit. The only thing they had was Taco Bar. Hope you liked Jimmy Chang goes. Yeah. Gross. Yeah. That’s gross. That’s gross. That’s so gross. Yeah. So I know you went on an adventure this week. And so I’m just going to pass it to you. I don’t really have much going on. I was Mr. Homebody. And here you are gallivanting all around the place. So I got extremely phlegmy. Like, exact moment, I, like, try to jump into this thing. I’m like, Jesus. So, I’m sorry. Psychosomatic, do you think? I don’t know. I swear to God, it was not like this up until the second i started talking to you and it’s like there’s goo in my mouth. Every time we think of it. Every time it’s like a bomb, I get goo in my mouth. Every time always make me sad so uh we
We went on a short, I guess, family vacation, if you will, I suppose. And, uh, uh, went over to the Chicago suburbs, not Chicago suburbs. No, no, we didn’t have a Mason. Uh, what’s his name? Mason Adams. He was not part of our group. No. I thought you were doing his voice there. Oh. this whole goddamn family it was it was title’s way yeah and uh we took two cars and, because there was a bunch of us. and we like to spend a lot of money on gas, so. Well, had I known, yeah, it was going to be like $5 a gallon. I probably would have canceled the whole goddamn thing to be honest with you. There’s nothing better than you like standing at that pump and just watching those numbers go higher and higher. Yeah. I can see why you stayed home. Yeah. Miles thinks it’s like a slot machine, but he doesn’t realize this is why your cheap ass stayed home. Cause you’re just so fucking cheap. You’re like, there’s no way.
I was spending $5 a gallon. Exactly. I’m in bankruptcy court with all this fucking mulch I bought. That’s right. Still paying off my mulch bill. I did lay away. My wife tells the occupants of the car, they got a little bit later starting. We did. We’re like, She’s like, well, we’ll all meet up at this one town that we all know pretty well, and we’ll stop at the gas station that’s like a quickie mart with a little brand fast food place attached to it. Okay, that sounds good. Which I thought I didn’t say anything at first. I’m like, I don’t think there’s one of those in this town we’re going to. Right, okay. But I didn’t say anything. I’m like, well, I’m sure she…
you know, she must know this. I don’t know. She was very confident. We got there. I wasn’t going to question her is what you’re saying, right? Yeah. So I’m like, okay, well, you know, I’m like you, like, I can’t question it. I can’t question the authority figure. So no, I’m like, okay, well, and we get there and she’s like, oh, darn it. I was thinking of a different town. Oh, now everyone’s confused. And I’m just like, not saying anything like, Oh, And so we park outside. We get a hold of my son. We say, hey, listen, change of plans. We’re going to meet at the box store parking lot here. And so we did meet up. And so we’re trying to figure out what we want to do. You know, one of those crazy things. Because nothing really had been set in stone. Okay. We’ve got three choices. Subway, McDonald’s, or a random Mexican restaurant. Well, you’re kind of getting to the point there, actually. That’s every little town. That’s every little town. Or a Chinese restaurant. No, this is a decent town. I mean, this is not. Yeah. This is my kind of town. Yeah. Hey.
So my oldest son’s like, I gotta eat. You got the key to it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. My oldest son is like, I have to eat, man. It’s like going at two o’clock already. He goes, I gotta eat. Yeah. You gotta eat. You gotta eat. Oh yeah. We’re all hungry. All right. He goes, well, we’re going to go to X, Y, Z, and we’ll just meet you over there. I said, okay. Okay. And so they take off first and we futz around for a minute. We take off. Yeah. And. Like, my car decides, well, why do we have to go eat where they want to eat? Why don’t we pick where we want to eat? You know? Your car decided this? Oh, your car, as in everybody in the car. Gotcha. Yeah. So, I had, like, half the group in my car. The other half group was the other. And so, they go. And so, we’re going down the road. And there’s, you know, all names you would recognize. Wendy’s. Yes. Yes. That was one of them. Yeah.
And suddenly there’s like this, I don’t think it’s a chain, but it’s like some chicken joint or something. Oh, yeah. It was a hot chicken? I love the hot chicken. It’s like chicken conundrum or something. I don’t know. It’s like, okay. Chicken conundrum. Oh, I love chicken conundrum. Yeah, it’s got some cartoonish, you know, big rooster. What am I doing here? I’m dead. Yeah. And I’m like, huh? Well, okay. I guess, you know, no one will fess up to actually pick this. I’m like, okay. And, um, I go, well, who the hell knows? Obviously there’s chicken on the menu, but you know, who the fuck knows what’s, you know, I go, why don’t we, why don’t we go in, take our time, look at the menu, you know, see the prices maybe first, um,
you know right no no stupid idea no stupid idea yeah stupid idea dad just keep going. Pull around the building and we’ll just go through the drive-thru. Oh, you’re eating in the car? I’m like, or, or we could go in. Oh, no. Free will. Free will. You should go around the, like, okay. All right. Yeah. All right. I’ve been outvoted we’re gonna go to the drive-thru. All right. We’re going to the drive-thru. I wouldn’t eat in the car myself, but you know, I know it’s not allowed in your family. I know you guys are weirdos. I know you don’t probably do that. And I apologize because I know your family would be very uptight about doing this. So, so, uh, excuse me. So we get there. I know I was not like this, like I’m telling you. And anyway, uh, so I can see the menu board to some degree and like the other people cannot, I can’t see what they got.
And so my wife’s like, well, chicken strips. I’m like, yeah, no, I don’t even know if gizzards were allowed. I don’t know. So, so, uh, my wife’s trying to order through like the little back window that rolls down halfway, you know? Hello. Yes. Can we help you? Hello. Uh, yeah, we want to get a lot of chicken strips. Welcome to chicken conundrum. Yeah. So my wife’s trying to work a deal, you know, like, well, your, your regular size comes in five, right? Yes. Affirmative. Yes. She goes, well, can you get something bigger than that? Hold on. Yes. You can get the family meal. Oh, okay. Well, you got a family. I’m like, okay, well, you know, all right. Yeah. Is that cheaper? Uh, no, that I wish, I wish, I wish that sentence come out of my mouth like a fool. I did not like, well, certainly, you know, it can’t be that, you know, certainly. And, uh, uh,
And you gotta love this, because everywhere you go now, they want to put a name with your order, even if no one else is there. Oh, yes, I know. Your name, please. Yeah. 100 miles. Okay, miles, pull forward. No one’s there. I’m like, okay, pull forward. And the girl’s like, okay, I have your total here. I go, okay. And what would that be, young lady? She goes, oh, it’s about $55. I’m like, what are you talking about? What do you think I am, Bob Lament? Do you think I’m Bob Lament, lady? Do you think I’m just made of money? Yeah. There’s three of us. Oh, my God. Only three of you and $55? Wow. Yeah. That is a conundrum. I know. We’ve got like 20 pieces of chicken. A lot of chicken. Or whatever it was. I don’t even know how much chicken it was. And there was like two macaronis, cheese, two…
Uh, coleslaws, and French fries galore up your wazoo. I mean, it’s like, yeah, throw in those collectors cups while you’re at it. Yeah. My son’s like, geez, dad, I was almost gonna get something to drink. I’m like, no, shut your mouth everybody you’re gonna wait for it to rain. Yeah. I’m like, no everyone’s having a water cup. I got news for you. So I get back my card and the lady starts handing the food, but it’s like literally, I don’t thought you’d enjoy this, but it’s in like a paper grocery bags. Oh, like brown paper sack. Yeah. Like there’s no advertising or nothing. It’s just like generic surprise. That’s cool. Yeah. I know. Like, Oh, Bob would love this one. Jesus. Yeah. I do love a brown paper sack full of food.
I go, it wouldn’t be funny if it said, like, Aldi’s on the side or something. It was all stained up and shit. We recycle. We recycle at Chicken Conundrum. That’s part of the conundrum. Oh, wait, sir. You forgot your KY. You get a free tube with it when you eat here. I swear to God I’d tell those kids to dump the bags. Dump them. Oh, my God. And, uh, I’m just in this shock, so I just text the other car, like, we’ll just meet you at the fun thing we’re going to go to. How’s that? Right, yeah. How much was your meal? Yeah, they had gone to a regular place. They didn’t go to Chicken Conundrum like we did. They’re like, we spent $5. Yeah, we all got the $5 fill-up meal. We got a DQ deal. That’s right.
I’m like, we’re going to eat on this goddamn thing all week. Jesus Christ. I got a sundae for free. The person that put us up to this, they had to get some kind of bonus from their boss or something like that. And we want to give young Ronald here. We got a lot of old chicken. Can you give it to the next sucker that comes through drive-thru? Yeah, sure. I can only think like They probably thought it was like a church van with all this food at first. And they’re like, wow, there was only three people in that car. Wow. That’s a lot of food for three people. Jesus. Yeah. Okay. And we did eat off it. We did have several meals off it. And it was good chicken. It was good chicken. It was chicken strips. They were very juicy, meaty, tender. Did you go to Cane’s? No. Oh, okay.
I mean, I’ve eaten there a couple of years ago, but I mean, no, this was not Kings. All right. No, this was not anything you’ve ever heard of. It was chicken conundrum. Chicken conundrum. I’m like, and then my son felt so bad because he, I think he’s the guy who actually picked this place. I’m sure of it. He starts handing me money. I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I’ll talk to that later when your mom’s not around. Lesson learned. Lesson learned. listen yeah never go straight to the drive-thru i can’t read the prices anymore. Yeah. Well, you know, it was kind of a whole thing seemed sketch, you know, I’m like, okay. Yeah. Like all the staff, people were like high-fiving each other. because they all were going to get like the day off, you know we’re closing early. We sold one conundrum special today. whoo
Little do they know, it all came from Walmart across the street. Yeah, I’m like, hmm, these sauces look very familiar. This is great value. What the? And I guess, no, the food was good. I’m not putting down the food because, like, the next day we had, like, the shittiest pizza you could find in the suburbs. So I guess the chicken kind of made up for that, I guess. Pizza conundrum. Pizza conundrum. Hey, come here. Hey, you like chicken conundrum? Come down to Pizza Conundrum. Chicago’s finest deep dish pizza. Pizza Conundrum. Pizza armpit. Mardi Gras pizza. You find the baby, you win a prize. Yeah, right. No, it’s Pizza Place. They give you two giant pieces. Yeah. Which I’m like, My wife’s like, what are you saying? It’s like a big foldable New York slice kind of thing. Yeah, I mean, it’s like gigantic pieces. And my wife’s like, well, let’s me and you share. Wow. And I realized, because this pizza sucks, I’m like, it’s just all crust, basically, with a hint of cheese and… Well, he’s not going to know that. Anyway. Yeah, chicken can be much better, much more expensive, but yes. Right.
Well, you subsisted. You lived. You survived. Yeah, they do have good chicken, but I didn’t know I was going to have to sell my soul to eat the chicken. Next time, we’re making chicken and taking it with us. Yeah. I mean, I thought Monocles was expensive. Like, Jesus Christ, this chicken place is like freaking… Oh, I love Monocles. I mean, I had taken a second mortgage for Monocles, and this was like a third mortgage for Chicken Conundrum. I’m like, gee, my goodness. Oh, my goodness. Well, you know, your kids are still growing. Yeah, I wish I was in the B car, to tell you the truth. I’m sure they saved a lot of money. So what were you going to do exactly anyway? What was this whole trip about? You know, it started off, I think my two sons had started planning something because one of my sons has a birthday coming up. Yeah.
And, uh, then it kind of evolved in like, well, we’re all going, everyone’s going. Okay. And we’re all taking two cars. Oh, all right. And we’re just going to play it by ear. And we kind of roughly have a, you know, thing to do, you know, some people wanted to see the zoo and I’m like, well, me and your mom were basically hobbled at this point. So, uh, yeah, we cannot. Because of the chicken conundrum? Yeah, so we ate so much chicken. We’re like, I don’t eat too much. No, I don’t know. We’re just unfortunately getting too… Unfeathered or unfeathered? I’m not allowed to say crippled anymore because I know that’s going to offend somebody. So we ended up… My wife and I went to some graveyards, actually, because it’s free. Were you scouting the spot or what?
Yeah, I figured, you know, I thought, you know, we caught those people making out down in Alton. I thought, well, heck, you know, if we’re both in the mood, maybe we can find, like, some monument and make out or something. When I was at the Père Lachaise in Paris, there were people, like, getting it on in the cemetery. I believe it. Yeah. Cemeteries are very sexy. Apparently, that’s what I, you know, I’m like, I walk around and people get all horny or something. I guess, right? I guess so. But, yeah, so part of the group went to the zoo. My wife and I went to some cemeteries. We saw Al Capone. Oh, wow. A lot of the gangsters we saw. Have you been there before, though? Haven’t you been to Al Capone? I have. My wife has not, though. So I wanted her to see it. We saw the grave of Dennis Farina. Oh, yeah. That guy. Well, he wouldn’t know what a cardinal is. He’s not very smart, but
you mean like a catholic cardinal or? Yeah. Okay. No, but anyway, uh, no, that got done. And then the, uh, second half of the day was we’re gonna go to the world’s largest, uh, arcade. Okay. Largest arcade. Right. Yeah. Is this the one i mentioned to you yes okay and i thought okay well it’s all together. Nay, nay. Oh, they’re trying to get you on both sides. Gotcha. So the arcade building is just all arcade games. The pinball is about two blocks away. Oh, really? And you have to like pay for each one individually. Yeah. Yeah. After chicken to conundrum, you guys are pretty well. Yeah. I’m like, let me see. I’m too close. hobbled to walk down the street so I’m not going to do the pinball so I actually forked over more money for my sons and I to go to the arcade and which was okay you know I told you a little bit about it off air but I mean, it’s a lot of games. It’s a lot of, I don’t say shitty games, but you know, just like,
variations of variations of variations. Very, you know, it’s like, okay. All right. well Yeah. There was a few not working. I mean, not many, but there was a few not working and there was a couple my son really wanted to play they didn’t have it. Although they said they did. And that was an issue. And then someone clogged the shitter at some point. Oh, there you go. That’s there you go. Excuse me. So, But I don’t know. Yeah, you know, I mean, if you like arcade games in general, you know, but I actually enjoyed like a couple places that me and you have gone to, to be honest with you. Right, yeah. A lot better than this place. I mean, nothing against this place, but yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did not see the pinball part, so I could not really give it a full. You couldn’t make it down the street.
at that point, two blocks could have been two miles. You know what i’m saying? it’s like yeah I cannot, you know, I’ve been dealing with some health things, unfortunately, this year. So my arteries are full of chicken pizza conundrum. I know. Like, uh, I have like the shittiest pizza. Um, you guys, you need to get one of those scooters, I think. I know. I’m going to have to ask your wife if she’s got the one-legged scooter guy. Yeah, we have it in the garage now. Yeah. If you want to use the knee scooter. No, I think you need a sit-down scooter, actually. I know. I need my own. In an oxygen tank, yes. Yeah, I know. Yeah, hover around, yeah. Hover around, exactly. I need a jitterbug phone. That’s right. You need the jitterbug, the hover around, and the O2 accessory. Yeah.
So, yeah, crazy times, crazy times. So you guys didn’t enjoy the arcade? No, it wasn’t horrible. It wasn’t horrible, but at that point, I was having some issues personally, and I’m like, I really need to sit down. Oh, yeah, well, because last time we went to the, I thought it was a pretty good one there for your birthday. Yeah. I did really enjoy that place. And then the next day, you were in the hospital. Yeah. I ended up in the ER. Thank you. And I think at that one, I didn’t sit down. And so then you never sat down. Briefly. Briefly. Oh, you sat down briefly. Okay. But I don’t know. The other two places that me and you have been, I think money-wise, it was money better spent.
Well, cause I paid for one of those and then you paid. Well, right. That’s what I’m saying. It’s money better spent. Right. Yeah. Cause you paid for it like a fool, like a fool. You did. I didn’t mind. I mean, I don’t mind. It was, I know you’re rich. I don’t know about rich. You could eat it. Chicken conundrum every day for the next three years. Yeah. It would not be permitted for me to eat it. Chicken conundrum every day. I think your family would be like, are you, what? What? What? Yeah. No, no, no. I don’t yeah that would be, uh Yeah. That would not pass the mustard here yeah we you won’t be surprised. We eat at home a lot now. More now than before so really yes yeah
Well, that’s true. You’ve quit showing me food pictures there for a while. You were like every day, like steak, steak. Like how many nights in a row can this guy eat steak? Gee, many Christmas. Well, that was, I did have steak this week. I didn’t take a picture of it though. Yeah. Um, no, no, but like on a regular, this is the holiday weekend. There was a little bit of going out, but yeah, on a regular week anymore. No, no going out. You’re eating your salad. I had salad tonight. Yes, sir. Yeah. Did you like, I sent a picture of a horse eating grass. He ate the grass on the other side of the fence, which was good grass, not been shit on by himself and his cow. Right. Cause we’re in this Airbnb out in the middle of nowhere. And it’s like, well, there’s horses. I’m like, okay, here’s some surroundings. Horses. Yeah. And I didn’t want to get too close. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So everybody, uh, enjoy their, uh, the little, the family time away there. I mean, did everybody enjoy going to the cemeteries? I mean, uh, you know, I think overall, I think people enjoyed it. Uh, you know, there was, uh, you know, some interesting moments trying to drive on I-55, which is a bunch of idiots, but, uh, uh, yeah, my son actually witnessed a wreck, uh, While exiting the highway, some lady smashed into a park semi. Oh, great. Yeah. I laugh about the cemeteries, but we always go to cemeteries too, which is kind of… I don’t know. Other people, I think, do this. This is not too far out of the norm, but if we’re near some famous… doesn’t have to be famous in the sense of celebrity necessarily but uh historical or celebrity famous uh person at the at the cemetery will go. Or is there something unusual there you know like yeah it has to be something weird. It could be like haunted gravestones. could be yeah uh you know big uh uh you know yeah something something that’s not the normal cemetery stuff.
Um, and yeah, we’ll go. I mean, we’ve gone specifically gone to cemeteries as the destination. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s good. Uh, I don’t know. I mean, uh, as a kid, I probably wouldn’t have done it, but as an adult i mean why would you do as a kid, what’s the deal? Uh, you know, I saw our last name on a tombstone once when i was a little child Because my grandparents were taking care of some family stones. Father! What? Father! Oh, I see. Jim Morrison reference because he saw some guy die. No, they didn’t tell me why I was there. I was like a little kid. I didn’t realize what we were doing. Why is my name on that? That’s where you’re going to end up eventually there, young Miles. Is that my grave? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. We pre-bought it. It’s got a deal. Yep. You keep beating chicken conundrum. This is where you’re going to be. You can’t. But there’s a size limit, so we may have to cut you down a little bit. I don’t know. I don’t know. We started watching a program about a guy who does.
cemetery stuff so i don’t know so oh okay got us interested in doing it. Oh, that’s the youtube guy right so yeah yeah yeah well there you go. Oh. A good time was had by all it’s fun it’s free right well hopefully you don’t take something home with you.

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