Til Death Do Us Recap

It only took us 17 weeks to get here, but Houston we have FOUR OUT OF FIVE (really four) COUPLES STAYING TOGETHER. We were shocked, gobsmacked, and confuzzled. Which is always a good sign of good reality tv. Some people came in ready to bare their hearts and souls, some came in ready to make sure we all knew why they COULD HAVE said no.... but didn't. LOL. Let's be real, we know we won't get the *realness* until these reunions get under way, but it doesn't mean there isn't still plenty to dissect! This is Olajuwon & Lindsey we're talking about, you know we're gonna have plenty to say. Let's process together!

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Look, Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 16 didn't bring us much new, but we couldn't let it just pass us by. Watching everyone's 11th hour strategies/moves/thoughts/desires is telling, even if it's just telling us more of the same. Dehydration was a theme of this episode - dehydrated relationship bonds, muscles, and a first for us on reality television - SPERM. Sit back and listen to Tim & Britt screech and process their final thoughts on these couples before Decision Day. and YES - there is a #DeppvsHeard reference, and some wildly irresponsible human guesses made. Why else do podcasts even exist? 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress 

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Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 15 brought everyone back to their origins, and helped us all see a little more clearly why these people behave the way they do. Olajuwon is tough on Katina because he was raised tough, Lindsey shuts down at the sniff of rejection because she was rejected a lot as a chid, Jasmina is ultra guarded because she had to be as a child... the list goes on. There were touching moments, and then a lot more of the same from everyone. We're still hopelessly hopeful for Michael and Jasmina, even though she IS scaring us and needs to just kiss him already! We're still hopelessly hopeless for Lindsey and Mark, and everyone else is in kinda murky but mostly promising waters. Let's tawk about it.

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Intro song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 14 mixed kerosene and booze and DAMN was it flammable for some of our couples! Steve and Noi spend most of the weekend in tension over instagram stories, and Lindsey manages to drag all parties into her chaos by game night. We have fights, tears, someone eating shit, someone vomiting out a car door and ending up hooked up to an IV. It's no surprise that most of these scenarios include Lindsey. Jasmina & Michael are the only real winning couple of the weekend that bring us growth and misty tears of joy. We've got a lot to discuss. Buckle Up!!!

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 13 only covered two days time, but DAMN we have a lot to unpack! These couples are finally getting individual, focused feedback from the experts, and ohhhh em gee does it bring up a whole bucket of B.S. from the cast members who aren't ready for self evaluation! Katina looks worn down and barely speaks up for herself. Olajuwon goes from telling Katina how she can't cook or grocery shop, to flipping out on Dr. Pep at the mere suggestion that he belittles his wife. We are concerned. There are red flags everywhere. It's hard to be hopeful that Mark and Lindsey's breakthroughs will have any lasting power, and we have to wonder if Noi really heard Steve's social media message considering her final thoughts on the matter. Jasmina is showing all signs of growing feelings for Michael but needs to tell everyone she feels nothing when he touches her. This episode reminds us that semantics MATTER and the simplest reframe can be a game changer, or a couple's demise....

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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We are BACK with a new episode recapping Married at First Sight, Season 14 episode 12, and we are pretty much drowning in a swamp of confusion. When and how did Olajuwon and Katina make up? Why does he have a neck tattoo in half of these shots? Why is Katina the only one required to romantically gesture? It's about as confusing as Steve still not showing anything concrete to Noi so that she can stop hounding him about not having a job. Or as confusing as her sudden plan to NOT move in with him. But what about Linds & Mark? Why is Mark so committed to pretending he's still in this? Why did he think the best move was to continue the photoshoot with this poor photographer? And WHY Lindsey continue to accuse Mark of everything she's doing herself? WE HAVE A LOT OF QUESTIONS. Let's rifle through all of them together!!

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 11 brings us lots of high highs and a low for the books. Every single dude except Olajuwon bends over backwards to show their partners they've been paying attention to detail and care a whole lot. We may have gotten misty-eyed a couple of times. HOWEVER, did Olajuwon miss the memo that husbands do indeed ALSO have to try and shower their partners with care? Or that publicly humiliating your wife or screaming over her is not the best route to understanding? Did Lindsey mistakenly think she was invited into O & Katina's personal fight? And does she still really think that Mark is the root of all of their relationship's problems? We have A LOT to say. Join us!

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 10 brought us intimacy week, folks, and it did NOT disappoint!! We had visits from Dr. Viv, juicy questions that led to many an explosive disagreement, and a sex basket for everyone. You get a sex basket! And you get a sex basket! And you get a sex basket! Anyways, there are high highs and low lows for everyone. Olajuwon is staying committed to his archaic ideas of what makes a woman and a wife, Jasmina is accusing Michael of all things she actively does to him and interrupting every time he tries to say otherwise, Lindsay is always bulldozing Mark or laughing like a maniacal dolphin, and Noi is somehow blaming her emotionally shutting down on Steve not having a traditional corporate job. This is just the bad stuff though! There's also breakthroughs, really fun and funny couples' exercises, and some cute moments to be sure. How to stay hopeful, committed, and give your partner the benefit of the doubt, ALL while vetting them every step of the way? That is truly the question!! Let's break it all down! 

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Married at First Sight Sight Season 14 episode 9 was another week of our couples free falling with no expert intervention, and BOY did we get some drama!! Most importantly, Olajuwon has lost his damn mind and thinks he signed up for King at First Sight. We are getting MAJOR burning red flags waving all around him and are close to telling Katina to run for the hills. Between O being an emotionally abusive coach, Lindsey expecting an apology from Mark over BowlingGate, and Jasmina's definition of "tone" including all words/sentences that challenge her, we are a bit tired. There is soooo much more to say though, and we did, on this week's episode! 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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Married at First Sight Season 14 episode 8 threw up some curveballs and now we're most concerned about one of the couples we naively assumed we'd never have to worry about! Steve & Noi are on the rocks, and in the case of NoodleGate, we're Team Steve. That's not all we have to lament about, though. Lindsay can't keep her shit together and everyone is over it, MTS most of all. We can't quite suss out if Katina is really being herself yet, and ALYSSA. Alyssa is still out here telling lies like she wasn't filmed doing the exact opposite for national television. Don't sleep on this week's recap, 'cause there's a whole lot to talk about!! 

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Intro Song: Don't Go Home - Pet Dress

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