Australia has won again. Travis Head has seen the ball and hit the ball. Heaps of times. So has Steve Smith. Oh and Jake ‘Second Coming’ Bethell too. We consider the soft underbelly of Australian batting which comes in a Cameron Green sized package.

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England has finally won something in Australia. And not it’s not the prize for biggest boob. In two days the Boxing Day test was done and dusted . We discuss the true cost of an extra 3mm of grass on the pitch and the merits of a third innings.

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In record time, England has been humiliated. But does this paper over a number of cracks in the Australian team. We discuss the lack of preparation and sheer witlessness that was that England display. If only they had done more preparation. Or was it less. Who knows.

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Same old England, always sweating

Only 3 hours before the match and it’s not clear who’s playing for Australia. Although we do consider the best all time ethnic XI. And wonder what Scott Boland and Mitchy Starch actually talk about.

We’re back 48 hours later. Perhaps it should be a Danny Boyle film. We consider how far into the dust England might be ground. And they only have themselves to blame.

What a time to be alive. We discuss the first Indigenous cricket tour in 1868. And speculate on what exactly Steve Smith gets up to when he’s in NYC. Hint - he’s not seeing a show. Or singing songs at Marie’s Crisis.

More nonsense from us

Another hot take on 5 days of epic cricket. What will happen in Sydney apart from Mitch Marsh failing to contribute to anything other than “the sheds”

The wog are finally taking over the Australian cricket team. Which means it’s time for George Bailey and Mitchell Marsh to go. They’re DONE.