In may of 2017, I wrote:

Tit-for-tat is ABSOLUTELY NOT a safe, sane, and consensual relationship

I said: 

We've all done it.

You hurt me, so I lash out and hurt you.

It's human nature.

And it's bullshit.

If you really love someone, the LAST thing you want to do is to cause them hurt.

THE.

LAST.

THING.

It should hurt you to cause them to feel pain and guilt, even when you don't mean to. Because you love them, and don't want them to hurt.