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Hello and Welcome

to the Way of the Emotional Warrior Podcast.

My name is Kai Ehnes and today we will be answering the question of:

Have You

Found “The One?”

How often

have you heard about finding The One? You know, that one person out of all 7.8

something billion of us. Picture that for one moment. Here we are born into a

certain family, in a certain town, in a certain country on this planet and

somewhere along the line someone threw out into human consciousness that we

have to find The One. Again, think about that…imagine being in a larger room

with 200 people. Try finding someone in that crowd. Now magnify that to finding

one person in 7.8 billion beings.

How can you

even know when it is that person? Maybe you have never traveled very far and

you found someone you really like. How can you ever fully settle in? maybe

someone is moreso The one than the one you are with?

This can

drive any sane person crazy. What to do? Well…enter prime time to being an

emotional warrior. Neuroscience has various explanations of how the brain works

and responds with its neurochemistry, evolutionary psychology has its own set

of answers.

Here are a

few ideas.

A good

amount of research points to the idea that in many species, the females make

decisions about a partner. In reaction, males have created various traits and

behaviors to try to make themselves be noticed and more attractive. While this

seems a perfectly reasonable order of events, why is it so difficult to find

the right person to be a good match?

Neuroscience

has shown that the chemistry rush that overtakes our brain when we are

attracted to someone actually do us a disservice. The logical reasoning part of

the brain can not compete with the chemicals of lust.

This is kind

of funny if you take a second. We invest so much into our thinking brain but in

matters of the heart and relationships it has to take a back set in the initial

critical stages.

Typically,

we are motivated and learn by way of our environment. Rewards and negative

consequences plus social media, throw in a healthy dose of FOMO (the fear of

missing out) and voila our lives are in a way being lived FOR us way more than

being lived BY us.

So where do

we start? In and with one of our most obvious yet elusive places…namely

ourselves. That’s right. Start with yourself. Do The Work. What work you ask?

The work of developing and building yourself. We spend our entire life building

the persona or side of our psersonality that we think we are supposed to be in

society and the world. We figure out how to behave in groups, school, a job a

family etc…we become really good at being what others want us to be and we

ehtink they want us t be. This game start very early in childhood and continues

on and on. Ony you can put on the brakes to this never ending frenzy and decide

to investigate who you actually are?

Wait…I know

who I am. I am person X who does This and likes that etc…yes that’s true but is

that really you?

How do you

even know if you know yourself? From the point of view of an emotional warrior,

you find inner peace and live authentically.

With enough

work you begin to live honestly. You master your emotions and live

intentionally. Joy and gratitude and appreciation become part of your day to

day. You become enmeshed in this life on this planet at this point in time.

Now, you

stop making other people into having to be The One. You can stop searching for

one in 7.8 billion. You become the One. You light shines so bright that anyone

and everyone else can see its beauty. Now the right person who has done their

share of their own work can find you and it can be love at first sight.

It is a lot

of emotional, spiritual, physical work. Many bumps in the road. Love is a

precious thing. How many songs, books and poems have been written about it. If