What actually shapes your life?

We usually answer that question with our intentions, values, or the stories we tell about ourselves. But...there's another record furtively keeping score in the background: your calendar.

Looking back through old calendars made me realize that they remember things I don't — and sometimes reveal a version of me that's both more honest and more surprising than the one in my head.

Some of the hardest days of our lives slowly fade into bullet-point headlines.

"I moved house."

"I finished grad school."

"I had a newborn."

"I broke my arm." (!)

We remember that they happened. But...we tend to forget what they actually felt like.

Maybe that's a kindness. But it also means we sometimes forget just how much our past selves carried — and how capable they proved themselves to be.

We spend every day, our whole lives, inside our own minds.

Everyone else — even the people who love us most — only sees brief glimpses of that experience. The version that escapes outside ourselves.

Sometimes, this means our loved ones miss the mark on knowing what we care about, what we've been striving towards. It doesn't necessarily mean they care any less than we had hoped. It might just mean they're living inside a different story.

A reflection on why the people closest to us can misunderstand us without ever intending to — and why we probably do exactly the same thing to them.

Sometimes, the fastest way to make progress isn't adding more options or exploring more avenues.

Sometimes, it's taking them away.

This episode tells the strange true story of my hermit crab, Pinchy, who suddenly abandoned his shell — and the surprisingly effective solution known as the "naked crab protocol."

It basically(!) ended up changing the way I think about decision-making, productivity, and why too much choice can quietly keep us stuck.

A question to take with you: where in your life might fewer choices actually give you more freedom?

Some healthy habits are surprisingly difficult to evaluate.

I've worn fitness trackers, tried supplements, experimented with sleep monitors, and gradually abandoned some while keeping others.

But here's the uncomfortable question I keep returning to: how do I actually know the ones I've kept are working?

This isn't really a video about fish oil or creatine. It's about the small leaps of faith we make every day—and where evidence quietly gives way to belief.

A question to take with you: what's something you do every day that you believe is helping...even though you'll probably never be able to directly feel the difference?

If you enjoyed this reflection, I'd love to have you along for the next one. New episodes every weekday.

We like to imagine that, first, we consciously decide to do something...and then our brain carries it out.

Neuroscience suggests that the real story might be far stranger than that.

In this reflection, I explore one of the most fascinating experiments ever performed on the human mind (IMO...)—and why it changed the way I, and others, think about consciousness.

We usually imagine heroes as people who slay dragons, save kingdoms, or change the course of history.

Most of us answer emails, forget to move the laundry, and wonder what we're doing with our lives.

But what if those aren't opposing ideas?

Inspired by this week's Hidden Brain podcast, this reflection explores why psychologists think viewing our lives as unfolding stories may help us navigate difficult chapters — and why the middle of a story rarely makes much sense while you're living it.

A TikTok convinced me to give some of my groceries a bath in white vinegar.

I assumed it was internet nonsense. Confusingly, annoyingly, weirdly... it worked.

It got me thinking about how often I judge ideas by where they came from instead of whether they're actually true.

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Today, Remember This is a short daily reflection about the small ideas that quietly shape our lives.

New episodes every weekday.

We spend a lot of time worrying about the things we do on autopilot.

Maybe the question isn't how to get rid of it. That seems not too realistic. Millions of years of evolution to fight, that sort of thing.

Maybe the real question is how to assess what we've actually taught it!

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Today, Remember This is a short daily reflection about the small ideas that shape our lives.

New episodes every weekday.

We all receive advice about how to care for plants.

Bright light.

Water when the soil dries.

Don't overdo it.

Sometimes I wish life came with little care labels too.

This week, a struggling fern reminded me why the environment we choose matters more than we often realise.