TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we're going into SUDDEN DEATH. 

In a bizarre turn of events, mystery novelist and busybody with a high success rate, Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury), inherits 4% of a football team, and everyone wants her share. 

However, things get complicated when one of the primary shareholders that no one likes (Allan Miller) is found dead in a jacuzzi after a team and staff get-together, and now everyone is once again a suspect. 

Naturally, we have the wife (Elizabeth Savage), the other shareholder and coach (Warren Berlinger), the noble injured player with something to hide (Caitlyn Jenner), the beefy linebacker with something to prove (Dick Butkus), and any number of partygoers who would be happy to see the man who wants to move the team away, be done away with. 

The cast also includes John Beck, Jane Smithers, Gary Lockwood--and Tim Thomerson as our latest detective, whom Jessica needs to convince has got it all wrong, while also learning American Sign Language from a duplicitously acquired adopted child. 

Viktor and Petra are your guides as we try to understand football terminology tossed into the mix, somewhat distracted by lots of guys in sweatpants, towels, and bathing suits. Call for holding! (See, there's one!)

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, the TOUGH GUYS DON'T DIE... until they do. 

Famed mystery novel author Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury) is researching a tragic crime from years earlier when her private detective researcher (Floyd Levine) turns up dead. She suspects it might be her case that led to him being targeted, but he was also working on two other cases, so the suspects are threefold. 

Was it the ambitious businesswoman Priscilla Daniels (Barbara Babcock) who is thought to be angling for political office with a scandal over her head, or her husband (John McMartin) out to protect her good name? 

Or perhaps it's possible philanderer Ernie Santini (Alex Rocco), who is under investigation for his late nights away from his wife. If it's Jessica's case, it could also be the mysterious Judge Lambert (Fritz Weaver) who refuses to discuss the crime he's associated with. And then there's always the wife (Rosanna Huffman). 

The murder leads Jessica to Boston, where she matches wits with the detective's partner out for revenge: none other than the legendary Jerry Orbach in his first appearance as Harry McGraw. 

Grab your keys and don't harass any stressed-out secretaries as Margery Nelson, Nancy Lee Grahn, Paul Winfield, Gerald S. O'Loughlin, and John Furey join us for this hardboiled detective pulp noir worthy of any bookshelf. 

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, Angela Lansbury is coming in via helicopter. 

Distinguished painter Diego (the iconic Cesar Romero) is under siege by one of his Mediterranean island guests during his worst birthday party ever. Among the suspects: it might be his awfully young bride (Cristina Raines), his fabulous but arthritic ex-wife (Capucine), a philanthropic do-gooder (Judy Geeson), his handsome son (Fernando Allende), the art gallery owner (Stewart Granger), or maybe it's Robert Goulet. 

Inspector Henry Kyle (Ron Moody) is on the case, examining discarded cigarettes and determining who pulls matches with which hand. Naturally, Jessica Fletcher (Lansbury) is getting in the way, and she has her own suspicions. 

Unfortunately, no one thinks about hiding the many weapons displayed on the wall (nor did anyone secure the planter urns on the balcony). But the scenery is stunning, the weather is temperate, and the studio is on fire. Oh no! 

PAINT ME A MURDER, as this Agatha Christie-style whodunnit is high on suspects, surprise entrances via French doors, suspicious heart attacks, missing servants, and local children painting pictures of donkeys. Matlock wishes...

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we're feeling very Brian De Palma neo-noir. 

Writer and sleuth Jessica (Angela Lansbury) joins her niece, Pamela (Belinda Montgomery), who is suffering from major PTSD after her husband, Johnny, has died, so they go on a girls' weekend cruise to get her nerves right. 

You see, the husband just couldn't cope with his being... adopted? Really? That's the scandal that led to him taking his life? Ok, well, apparently that was too much for him, and now his birth mother might be back to torment Pamela into joining him in the afterlife? What a month. 

Rather than wonder who's guilty of murder, most of our time is taken up by figuring out which woman of a certain age might be hounding our guest heroine, who seems on the brink of several breakdowns. 

Perhaps it's sexy ship purser Diane (Lynda Day George)? Or is it the somewhat dotty secretaries on vacation (Vicki Lawrence playing straight man to Jo Anne Worley's scenery chewer)? A doctor (Rosemary Forsyth) with her newlywed husband (Lawrence Pressman)? They're all on board the ship that looks suspiciously like the Queen Mary. 

Between scares and near-misses, we are charmed by the steward Ramon (Paul Carafotes) and enamored with sexy geek Russell (Andrew Parks) in their fitted era-appropriate trousers. And if you want someone a little more age-appropriate for Jessica, we even have Leslie Nielsen as the crusty but fetching Captain Daniels, in the role usually held by a skeptical police detective. 

Gird your loins for some suspenseful hoochie coochie as MY JOHNNY LIES OVER THE OCEAN promises to be a rollercoaster that leads Jessica to reach for the wine bottle. Oh, Ramon!

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we're in New Orleans, everyone!  Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury) is in town with a few days to kill... and someone's about to!

Legendary clarinet player Ben Coleman (Glynn Turman) collapses during a spirited party where everyone is mad at him. It might be someone in the band, his trusted confidante (Stan Shaw), his manager (Cameron Mitchell), or his jilted lover (the incredible Olivia Cole) who knows his terrible secret... or is it someone else entirely? And what does it have to do with a fired morning chat show host (Clive Revill)?! 

Bradford Dillman plays our disgruntled detective, and the band features Bobby Sherman, George Kirby, and David Whitfield. While we're at it, let's throw in a fabulous cabbie who knows everything and quickly becomes attached to Jessica, Garrett Morris. 

It's gonna be a hot time on the town tonight, so you may want to skip the cup of coffee and pop a piece of gum. Anything can happen when it's MURDER TO A JAZZ BEAT. 

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we're putting on a show! And it's all very Judy Garland-coded. 

Mystery novelist and always there at the wrong time Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury) is summoned to Boston by her nephew Grady (Michael Horton), who's part of the team bringing up-and-coming talent Patti Bristol (Lorna Luft), and her mother, legend Rita (Vivian Blaine), in their joint-starring production in rehearsals before it heads to the Great White Way. 

When Patti and her brother Barry (Gregg Henry) are caught off guard in a mugging incident that lands Patti in critical condition and the would-be mugger dead, Jessica isn't convinced there's not more to it. But who's behind it?

Could it be the fabulous matriarch never out of makeup? The brother, who was never the talented favorite? Milton Berle; what is he doing here?! Round it out with an opportunistic understudy (Elaine Giftos), a total dick of a director (Robert Morse), a producer (Patrick O'Neal) who really needs a hit, and Grady's girlfriend of the month (Sharee Gregory). It's anyone's guess. 

Fortunately, while our cranky idiosyncratic detective (Gregory Sierra) of the week is on an all-veg diet, Jessica is on the case while wolfing down street empanadas.  Between scenes of three-card monte and street preachers, we even see two and a half musical numbers! And stick around for a performance from Angela Lansbury in the final act that rivals her manipulative mother role in The Manchurian Candidate; we couldn't be more in love or terrified. 

Turn on the coffee pot, grab your old bottle of scotch and barbituates, and please do try to stay on pitch because it's going to be a doozy of a BROADWAY MALADY. 

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we're heading to the illustrious and captivating setting of... Congress?! 

Somehow, some way, JB Fletcher (Angela Lansbury) finds herself as a temporary statesperson for Maine. And no one shall be seated during the thrilling discussion of bureaucratic protocol... but there's also a murder to solve. 

When the eyewitness to an unseemly cover-up involving DC politicians winds up beaten and dead, the suspects are all wearing suits. It might be legislators Mitchell Ryan, Nicholas Pryor, or Stephan Mach, or maybe it's Jessica's spunky secretary (Linda Kelsey) or lobbyist Mark Shera... Get your votes in and choose your driving gloves wisely. (Black suit, brown gloves? Ick!)

Find out with us, thanks to the editorial and fabulous eye of socialite columnist with a cat Edie Adams and this week's kinda useless detective, Herschel Bernardi, all in the heart of the District of Columbia. Taxation without representation has never been so salacious. 

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we head to a Lake Tahoe casino to witness the flabbergasting powers of The Great Calamari... the Great Castellaneta... the Great Caligari... (what?) oh, The Great Cagliostro! This master of hypnosis is our victim for DEATH CASTS A SPELL.

In front of hypnotized witnesses, the Great Cag-- uh, the hypnotist (José Ferrer) in question is found dead in his hotel room after a demonstration for members of the press.  A shattered pane of glass makes one think it could've been a murderer via the balcony.  Professional busybody and mystery writer Jessica Fletcher (Angela Lansbury) is stumped, but she has her assistant editor Joan (Diana Canova) to bounce ideas off of.

So, who did it?  There are only so many options! One of the hypnotized? The beautiful casino owner's wife (Michelle Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas!) or her hot-tempered husband (Robert Loggia)? The sexy, former stripper assistant (Elaine Joyce)? A reporter (Murray Hamilton) with an axe to grind? 

Brian Kerwin, Elvia Allman, Conrad Janis, and Robert Hogan round the cast out in this curious take on the locked-room mystery trope featuring scenes of Jessica Fletcher speaking like a Park Avenue snob and a barfly whilst under hypnosis, once again being sort of very famous, and impulsively hopping on the back of a motorcycle. There are WAY too many characters, but we'll try to sort it out!

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE we--BAN THE BALLET--excuse us, we're having an interruption from the wings.  Anyway, what we have to see--BAN THE BALLET!--Ok look, we're trying to have a lovely little slice of culture over here. 

We and Jessica (Angela Lansbury) head to Boston to check out some Soviet dancers prance about; and our anti-ballet activist Velma Rodecker (Jessica Nelson) is having none of it, decrying the communist influence brought on by this treasured artform in 1984 counter-revolutionary America. 

Indeed, the Cold War is heating up in this episode, DEATH TAKES A CURTAIN CALL, particularly having noted sexy dancer Alexander Masurov (George de la Pena) and his beautiful consort Natalia (Vicki Kriegler) taking center stage. (Or not, as the case may be; scandal breaks out when they defect and miss their bows!) Oh, and someone turns up dead backstage.

Did the dancers do it to get away? Was it another of the ballet company in a moment of passion? The lecherous stagehand in-between passes made at The Other Pretty Dancer (Kerry Armstrong)? Or is it the aggressively patriotic demonstrator? Rhoda, say it ain't so!

Can Jessica solve the crime and avoid giving these naive, harmless Russian kids up to the KGB officer (William Conrad chewing the scenery like a fine borscht) hot on their tracks? Maybe, with the help of Sheriff Tupper (Tom Bosley), Captain Cragg (Claude Akins), and the man who got her into all this (Hurd Hatfield). 

Skip Fleming, Dane Clark, and (not that) Paul Rudd join the cast in this dramatic tale of love, intrigue, suspicious fishermen with limited vocabulary, and what we think really happened to have Claude Akins leave the series. 

TONIGHT ON MURDER, SHE WROTE, we try to solve a variation on the classic murder made behind a door, locked from the inside! 

The Worst Person Ever this week comes in the form of theme park owner and total maniac "Horrible" Horatio (James Coco), who tries to strongarm Jessica (Angela Lansbury) into... writing a story for his next attraction? We don't know; it's not important. What's important is now he's dead! And we're not hurting for suspects. 

There's the dreamy but unseemly engineer (Kristoffer Tabori), the gruff Swede (Gene Evans), the former showgirl widow (Christine Belford), the mousey and somewhat alarmist secretary (Kim Darby), the nebbish accountant (Richard Sanders), and the mad man's hired muscle (George DiCenzo). Surely one of them is responsible... but how?!  Our useless detective is John Schuck, while Jessica's family connection, Lieutenant James Stephens, is also on the case. 

Things are quickly complicated by a second murder featuring the best visual effects a dummy hurled off a balcony can accomplish. Further horrors await us with a ghoulish oversized James Coco head, mysterious cat noises, a hangman execution gone wrong kind-of-sort-of, and dreadfully inconsistent office decor. 

Grab a snack and a sensible turtleneck because WE'RE OFF TO KILL THE WIZARD!