TonioTimeDaily

"Gentleness is a strength, a strength of character.

What is gentleness?

 "Other compound character strengths, if you follow the science, include mindfulness, grit, respect, patience, responsibility, the propensity to apologize, encouragement, and tolerance. its attempt to understand gentleness as a compound strength within the lens of this VIA Classification. Gentleness involves being down to earth (humility), having a quiet ego (humility), being quick to let things go (forgiveness), having a soft and supportive demeanor (kindness), and being oriented toward the other (kindness). Hence, my perspective is gentleness fits under the virtues of humanity and temperance and is captured by the primary character strengths of humility, forgiveness, and kindness.

Of course, gentleness is more than those three. There are a few secondary character strengths to consider. Gentle people seem to be empathic and grounded with their emotions (social intelligence), offer deep tenderness for others (love), as well as a high degree of openness/receptivity (judgment or curiosity)."

"Now we’re doing more with the INSPIRE program, which I launched to help industry newcomers know what they’re going to need to successfully navigate the adult industry. It stands for Industry Newcomer Support Program: It Really Exists. We recognized that there is an information gap between successful performers and performers who could’ve been more successful, or who could’ve left the industry with a more positive experience. The INSPIRE program informs people of their rights—and their responsibilities—as workers.

The adult industry, like other industries, is shifting toward independent creators. You are your own business, and you need to know how to manage your own business things. At FSC, we are the industry’s trade organization, not the industry’s HR department. There is no HR department. So if you have concerns and you’re not speaking up and advocating for yourself, there’s not much anyone can do besides further inform you so you can be better prepared in the future. We’re just trying to close the gaps and inform people so they know how to protect themselves."

Women watch porn, and that’s a fact. Hell, you’re here aren’t you? But while even the reticent among us know that there’s certainly no lack of options when it comes to the sheer volume of porn out there, quality porn that doesn’t stomp on women is another matter altogether.

Mainstream porn is abundant, but there are lots of issues with it. For one thing, it tends to be completely catered to what's arousing for men, with women present largely in service of this purpose. Fact: at least 32% of PornHub’s audience is made up of women, and we think they deserve better than what they’re getting (as do the men, and people of all genders!). Ultimately, mainstream porn tends to depict women in degrading or even dehumanizing ways, and this less-than-respectful treatment often extends to behind-the-scenes dealings as well. Of course, ‘people want this type of porn,’ is the old excuse, but we argue that this simply ain’t true: if you make better, more ethical porn, they will cum!

Bottom line: if you're not feeling a lot of the porn you see out there, Bellesa Plus may be the way to go.

The term ‘ethical porn,’ sometimes used interchangeably with ‘feminist’ or ‘fair trade’ porn is porn that honors consent, treats performers with respect, and pays everyone fairly. The environment on an ethical porn film set is one of mutual complicity and understanding.

According to sex therapist Kamil Lewis, AMFT, “Ethical porn validates the needs, boundaries, and curiosities of the performers,” while depicting sex that’s more true-to-life, often featuring performers with more diverse body types and skin colors, and, perhaps most importantly, showcasing real female pleasure. “Ethical porn is inclusive, creative, and consensual,” she says.

In case you missed the memo, there is an ethical porn renaissance happening right now—and Bellesa’s at the center of the action. This means that when you’re watching porn on Bellesa Plus, you know you’re getting off to porn that has the following key qualities:

We work hard to foster a safe and comfortable working environment for all on our sets. This means ensuring that performers feel 100% comfortable interrupting a scene by calling “cut” if they need a sip of water or a snack, a trip to the toilet, or an emotional breather.

At Bellesa, we go the extra mile to prioritize performers’ physical comfort, ensuring that food, water, and ample lube (!) is always available on set! You can never have too much lube, we say! Never!!

Our mission is to empower women to embrace, explore and celebrate their sexuality—unapologetically. We believe a key part of the journey to becoming a self-actualized sexual being is being able to view quality ethical porn online. What’s more empowering than seeing yourself and your deepest desires reflected, rather than an endless stream on degrading money shots? We strive to change the world, one great orgasm at a time.

When it comes right down to it, the above “ethical porn” guidelines are really just baseline conditions for a fair, healthy, respectful, and human working environment. On Bellesa Plus, you can get off to steamy, pleasure-filled content—100% guilt-free.

Welcome. <3

These are all of my values as well!

Consent can’t be emphasized enough. There’s a whackload of mainstream porn out there that one can’t watch without feeling a bit gross. This is because there’s a tension that’s created when it’s unclear whether everything happening on set was mutually agreed upon, or whether coercion or force was involved. Consent is sexy, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. All sex on Bellesa Plus is 100% consensual, and nothing gets filmed without (enthusiastic) consent from all performers.

It should go without saying that all performers are of legal age, but this is certainly not always the case with mainstream porn. The endless variety of “barely legal” porn, along with a mountain of probably-not-so-legal porn that people choose not to talk about is downright rampant, and it’s not okay. Being of age is a crucial aspect of giving informed consent, for starters. All performers on Bellesa Plus are old enough to know what they love and get off on showing it!

On Bellesa Plus, you’ll never accidentally stumble upon a “stepsister stuck in a washing machine” scene, nor will you find any “twin sisters” fucking the same guy(s), or fathers swapping daughters. While we get that fantasy is fantasy, we choose to nurture the empowering perversions over the more questionably twisted variety—because we believe the world is what we make it.

It’s actually kind of appalling how difficult it is to find mainstream porn that’s been instigated with real, live chemistry between two (or more) performers—and the difference is palpable, to say the least. Bellesa performers always choose who they work with, so what you’re seeing is the result of the authentic chemistry that occurs when performers get paired up with people they truly wanna do. Real connection is hot AF for performers and viewers alike!

Bellesa always ensure rigorous STI testing for the safety of performers on Bellesa sets, and, what with COVID-19 stealing the scene, we now require thorough testing protocols for that as well. Because we don’t think pleasure is really pleasure if it doesn’t prioritize safety and wellbeing above all!

Bellesa performers are encouraged to communicate their likes and dislikes with their partner(s) before shooting a scene. Much like off-camera sex among romantic or sexual partners, strong communication is key to getting the most out the experience. Plus, bonafide arousal is a lot hotter to watch, wouldn’t you say?

Bellesa film are all directed by women, because we really care about not replicating and bolstering the same old male gaze. What we offer is not exactly ‘porn for women’—rather, it’s porn by women, for anyone of any gender who wants to watch something real. In our case, creative director and award-winning director Jacky St. James is the visionary in chief, and we couldn’t be happier about that.

Bellesa porn focuses on connection and genuine pleasure. Women are not depicted as objects of conquest as they so often are in your typical mainstream porn—instead, we’re subjects of pleasure, and it’s a smokin’ hot look. We’re talking about the difference between being the vessel of another’s pleasure, and being an obscene queen who gets what she wants. You feel me? Both involve giving and receiving, but they’re worlds apart."

My position on sex work: 

"Decriminalization is the most supported solution by sex workers themselves. Decriminalization is the only legal solution that offers no criminalization of any party involved in the sex work industry and additionally has no restrictions on who can legally participate in sex work. The decriminalization of sex work would not remove any legal penalties condemning human trafficking. There is no reliable evidence to suggest that decriminalization of sex work would encourage human trafficking. New Zealand was the first country to decriminalize sex work in 2003, with the passage of the Prostitution Reform Act. This is the most advocated for by sex workers because it allows them the most negotiating power with their clients. With full protection under the law they have the ability to determine their wages, method of protection, and protect themselves from violent offenders. Sex work is one of the oldest professions in existence and even though sex work is criminalized in most places  in order to regulate it, the profession has hardly changed at all over time. Those who work in sex trade are more likely to be exploited, trafficked, and victims of assault when sex work is criminalized.  Starting in August 2015, Amnesty International, a global movement free of political, religious, or economic interests to protect people from abuse,  introduced a policy that requested that all countries decriminalized sex work. Amnesty International stated in this policy that decriminalizing sex work would decrease human trafficking through promotion of the health and safety of sex workers by allowing them to be autonomous with protection of the government. This policy gained a large amount of support worldwide from the WHO, UNAIDS, GAATW, and several others, but has not been adopted universally yet."

"Prostitute, Sex Worker and Sex Professional American sex worker and activist Carol Leigh coined the term sex work in the 1970s. While before this the term working girls was popular amongst workers, creation of the term sex work was a deliberate attempt to unite sex workers of all genders and sectors of work, and to highlight the work, or labour, that sex workers are doing. The term sex work is liberation from the deep-rooted negative and legalistic term prostitute. Some of us call ourselves prostitutes, but recognize its negative connotations when outsiders use it. People use the word prostitute in different contexts: to refer to legislation where word prostitute is written into law; to refer to sex work that involves intercourse with clients; to refer to street prostitution; to refer to debasing oneself, not necessarily in a sexual context; and to refer to history when the word prostitute was used with pride. How and when we use these terms will differ depending on our audience. Sex workers’ rejection of the term is often based in how the public perceives prostitutes and prostitution rather than an inherent shame in the word itself. Some sex workers also embrace the term sex professional. Like sex work, this term highlights and legitimizes the labour context of sex work. Other sex workers find this term alienating because the term professional can imply a level of accreditation that is not afforded to criminalized work. It can also insert a classist element to the work — some workers are seen as professional while others are not. Not all sex workers have access to the mechanisms that professionalize their work, and many work under precarious conditions. .............................................................. .............................................................. Prostituted women The gendered term prostituted women is sometimes used to refer to sex workers. This terms denies the agency of sex workers by suggesting that prostitution is something done to us. Many sex workers consider this framing and language around prostitution or sex work as disrespectful, alienating and invisibilizing of our realities. .............................................................. .............................................................. Survival Sex Work/Sex Workers Some communities use survival sex work to refer to sex workers who – due to numerous systemic factors or personal circumstances of poverty, homelessness, drug use and mental health – have extremely restricted options and as a result work in dangerous circumstances. The term survival sex work has become analogous to street work and “difficult circumstances.” However, some high earning sex workers on the street and those working indoors also consider themselves survival sex workers. While it is true that people do all kinds of work to survive, they are doing it to survive within the context of systemic constraints that exist on a continuum of power and privilege. Systemic issues, such as poverty and homelessness, should be contested – not sex work itself. While it’s important to recognize and honour all sex workers, dividing sex workers into categories legitimizes the decisions of some sex workers and not others. Some sex workers who are labeled as survival sex workers feel the way the term is currently used makes it seem like they are not strong or not capable of making the best decisions for themselves. .........."

The other BIPOC Adult Industry Collective Community Agreement & Values that I support:

"We will understand and hold space for individual and collective feelings - and various expressions of feeling (as long as it is not harmful). We acknowledge that we are gathering during an extraordinary trying time. Sometimes being in a community means sitting in discomfort, as we share our stories, with the understanding that this work may be challenging and everyone needs to be supported to do the work. At the same time, please take personal breaks, as needed. If you need assistance in accessing mental health resources, please notify one of the collective members so we can do our best to help you find what best serves you."

BIPOC Adult Industry Collective values are my values!

"We will respect the bodily/autonomy of every person and make every attempt to listen and improve with correction if we harm. We will not put our intentions, wants, and desires before the needs of others. We will not touch folks without permission when in-person with one another. We will not send unsolicited nudes. We will ask for an enthusiastic yes in touching another person both within the collective and in our personal lives. We trust folks to decide what boundaries to assert and hold for themselves. We respect the words “no,” “I don’t know,” “maybe,” and “not right now” to mean “no.” We will not treat folks differently when they say no. We will not interrogate folks’ no. We will not question folks’ no. We will respect folks’ no. We will not use, violate and weaponize our different or shared identities and subject positions in the world to coerce folks into a yes and to make excuses for engaging in the touch (of any kind) with/of others. Boundaries are not exclusive to the body, touch, or physical. They can include verbal (and many) other forms of unwanted contact.

We will respect boundaries.

We will ground our understanding of our own embodied experiences and varying knowledge. In this space, we hold up the knowledge we have acquired from varying sources and methods. We acknowledge that institutional learning is no better-lived experience and will not treat others differently based on their ability or experience in academia. It is ok to be at a different point in your learning or political development than other participants. We are here to build collective knowledge through sharing from where we are. 

We see learning as political education and essential to revolution. We understand that there is more work to be done but hold space for the work we are doing to learn amongst our own, question amongst our own, and build an intentional community. 

We will honor and use folks’ correct pronouns. We won’t ask intrusive questions around folks’ gender. We will make every effort to get them right and when we fuck up, we will make every attempt to correct and make amends without centering one’s self. Pronouns are not a preference. If this is and feels new to you, be patient with yourself but make every effort. It may require that you slow down, especially when talking. That is okay. Mis-gendering happens. But when it happens, it is not a ‘mistake’. It is learned behavior that can be unlearned. It is a symptom of colonial, capitalist, gender violence and we have to learn to do better and be better. 

Take space and make space. Those of us who take space are encouraged to make space when they would ordinarily share. Those of us who make space are encouraged to take space when they wouldn’t ordinarily share. You are encouraged to say what needs to be said. During meetings, you are encouraged to ask yourself these questions: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me right now? And/or: Why do I feel the need to keep what needs to be said aloud inside me?  Can I take a risk? What are the benefits? How do I release any expectations of myself steeped in whiteness, respectability, and perfection to be, look or sound a way other than what I showed up as (with respect to the agreements.)  Taking space and making space can look/feel/be different based on the multiplicity of intersecting identities, particularly with regard to race, gender, sexuality, size, and various relationships to education, knowledge, and ways of knowing. That is okay. I trust that folks will make space for nuance. This is a space for BIPOC people to speak freely and have their ideas met with support."

"1 DECRIMINALIZATION RESPECTS HUMAN RIGHTS AND DIGNITY A cornerstone of contemporary human rights is that all people are born free and equal in dignity and rights.5  There are many reasons why adults do sex work, whether it is their main livelihood, a temporary means to survive, or an opportunity to supplement other income.6  Some people find that sex work offers better pay and more flexible working conditions. Whatever the reasons, sex work is work, and sex workers should be treated with dignity. Sex workers in many parts of the world have organized to fight for human rights that cannot be fully realized as long as criminal laws threaten sex workers’ access to justice, health, and social services; undermine their right to labor and workplace protections; and expose them to violence, discrimination, and arbitrary arrest.7 2 DECRIMINALIZATION HELPS GUARD AGAINST VIOLENCE AND ABUSE Sex work is not inherently violent; it is criminalization that places sex workers at greatest risk. The need to avoid arrest— of both sex workers and their clients—means that street-based sex workers must often move to more isolated areas that are less visible to law enforcement, and where violence is more prevalent.8 Fear of arrest and police abuse limits the time and methods that sex workers can use to conduct safety screenings of clients without detection by police.9 For sex workers who are not street-based, authorities have even shut down online sex work forums, like Redbook, which have offered sex workers more detailed client screening possibilities and thus greater security.10 These factors, plus real or perceived impunity for perpetrators of violence against sex workers, place sex workers at heightened risk. For example, after Scotland instituted laws criminalizing solicitation in 2007, groups recorded a doubling in reported rapes and assaults.11 In jurisdictions that have decriminalized sex work such as New Zealand, sex workers have an increased ability to screen clients, work in safe areas with better access to security services, and refer to police in cases of violence."

BIPOC Adult Industry Collective

Community Agreement & Values

I love these values!!!!!!

⦁ Anti-blackness: We do not tolerate any anti-blackness, colorism. Black, Indigenous, and People of Color come in all shades and we celebrate them all.

⦁ Centering of Black & Brown Voices: As BIPOC  people often experience tokenism and are overlooked in public and private spaces, we are committed to centering those voices in our work.

⦁ Misogynoir: We acknowledge ways in which the intersection of anti-blackness and sexism Black women experience in private and public impacts their well-being. Our duty is to provide a space in which Black women can feel safe from this behavior.  Transmisogyny will not be tolerated, period.

⦁ Fatphobia: We welcome fat folks and fatness without hesitation. We will not judge one another based on unrealistic, European standards of commercial beauty. 

⦁ Transphobia: We use pronouns that people have asked us to use. We accept all trans-, non-binary, gender non-conforming, and two-spirited people however they define themselves. 

⦁ Xenophobia: We do not judge each other based on place, space, country, immigration status, or expression of culture.

⦁ Homophobia and Biphobia: We acknowledge that sexuality is a spectrum. We are inclusive of all forms of queerness and celebrate everyone regardless of who they fuck.

⦁ Sexism: We do not discriminate based on how one expresses their gender or sex. Stereotyping based on gender or sex has no space in a space dedicated to community organizing.

⦁ Whorephobia: We believe all sex workers are created equal and reject any false hierarchy based on the criminalization of their work and where they ply their trade.

⦁ Ableism: We accept and embrace all body and intellectual contributions to this space. We celebrate differences.

⦁ Poor shaming: We know that one’s contribution to the capitalist monetary system of the U.S. is not an indication of one’s worth. We do not, in practice or in rhetoric, shame or chastise anyone because of the ways they are forced to partake and/or contribute to this construct, or the ways they are disenfranchised by them. 

⦁ Dependent status: We acknowledge that Black folks take care of each other. We celebrate the fact that members of our extended community and our duties to take care of each other does not mean we have more or less to contribute to the Collective. We make space for one another to put caregiving over agenda, always.

⦁ Ageism: We acknowledge that age and phase of life do not overdetermine one’s capability or ability to contribute to the decolonizing porn. Wisdom comes from youth and elders alike and will always be respected as such.

⦁ Centering Black & Brown Voices: As BIPOC  people often experience tokenism and are overlooked in public and private spaces, we are committed to centering those voices in our work. We are committed to working with BIPOC whenever possible.

⦁ Financial Empowerment: We believe sex is work and the key to financial empowerment is putting money directly into the hands of sex work. In cultivating our initiatives we will always ask ourselves, “will this put more money directly into the hands of sex workers?” “Will we make Sex Workers safe by doing this work?” We will take a harm reduction approach to all work will do, meeting people where they are to provide them with what they need rather than what we think they need. When giving money directly to sex workers, we will not govern or dictate how the money must be used. We are here to help, that’s all.