TonioTimeDaily

"It has been said that what is most personal is most universal. That’s why your story can bring so much value. When you make it okay to share that the path to success has never been a straight line, but rather a squiggly, uncertain journey, you can bring tremendous value to the world.

Here are five crucial reasons you should share your story of struggle with the world.

A mentor’s hindsight can be another’s foresight. Sharing your stories of times of struggle can greatly help other entrepreneurs. Sharing your story will help them to realize that they aren’t alone, that others have been in similar predicaments and made it out alive. Sometimes, that is all someone needs to get through a tough time. You can help even more with ideas and solutions for other entrepreneurs to apply creatively to their own problems.

4. Finding peace, finding hope.

What's the difference between someone who has achieved resilience and someone who has not? One important difference is a sense of well-being. People who have found their voice, shared their story, and reaffirmed their values often find a sense of peace and a hopefulness that they did not have before."

“The police have made sex workers their ATMs. Whenever they feel broke they go arrest sex workers and make them pay the guilty fine, but also when their wives don’t give them sex they just go and want to get sex for free. This can’t continue … we want to trade freely as entrepreneurs,” Bogopane-Zulu, who described herself as a chief sex worker, said.

Speaking at a dialogue with sex workers on Monday to discuss the impact of the lockdown on sex work, Bogopane-Zulu said that unless everyone in the country started putting themselves in the shoes of sex workers, they would always be treated as outcasts.

“There is no 'us and them'. We are all sex workers, the difference is … are you pre-paid, are you pay-as-you-go or are you on contract? Either way, you are a sex worker,” she said, to the applause of sex workers and other delegates in attendance.

“The idea of us and them should never exist,” said Bogopane-Zulu, adding that, as a married woman, she too fell into the category of sex workers, the only difference being that she was prepaid as lobola was paid for her.

She said claiming this title would help government departments provide better service to this group, which remains at greatest risk of HIV, pregnancy, cervical cancer and gender-based violence.

Deputy police minister Cassel Mathale committed the police ministry and police to doing better when dealing with sex workers. While sex work was still criminalised in SA, Mathale said that didn’t give the police the right to victimise sex workers such as assaulting them, as they too had human rights and should be “treated as human being first”.

“We will continue to learn and work with you. We will continue to make sure that police officers who take money must be dealt with. The cases must be reported and we need to deal with that,” he said.

He said decriminalisation of sex work would make the jobs of police officers easy. Mathale was in agreement that sex workers ended up bribing police to avoid arrest.

“Because sex workers don’t want to be arrested they end up paying so that they don’t go to jail. We are fully aware of that and will make sure that these things are dealt with,” he said.

The South African National Aids Council (Sanac), the UN Fund for Population Activities, UNAIDS and sex worker advocacy groups such as Sonke Gender Justice formed part of the dialogue. Deputy minister of justice & correctional services John Jeffrey, and deputy health minister Joe Phaahla were also among those who attended.

Sanac CEO Dr Fareed Abdullah said SA was one of the worst countries in terms of HIV infections, with the highest prevalence of HIV among sex workers. A study done among street-based sex workers who worked on the national road between Johannesburg and Bloemfontein, found that 88% of them were HIV-positive and 75% became pregnant.

“I can tell you that there is no higher prevalence of HIV in any community in any part of the world. In which country do you see sex workers not having access to contraceptives? It’s unbelievable. Only in this country where sex workers who are at risk of pregnancy cannot have access to condoms,” he said.

Abdullah said there were more sex workers in the country than workers in gold mines, which is one of the key drivers of the economy."

"Advocates, lawmakers and law enforcement officials have criticized the law, calling it unnecessary and exploitative. Derek Marsh, who trains California police in best practices on human trafficking cases, called the exemption "antiquated at best."

The law "doesn't help your case, and at worst you further traumatize someone," he told the AP. "And do you think he or she is going to trust a cop again?"

But not all people in the sex industry are victims of trafficking, and the Hawaii law jeopardizes their lives and livelihoods, too. The reality of sex work is that it is work; the people who do it should be free from harassment, coercion and violence -- including from law enforcement.

Police abuse of sex workers is a well documented occurrence, as the AP notes:

As Erika Lust summarises it:

The features of sex-positive porn basically consists of the features of healthy sexuality, from consent and boundaries, to genuine and authentic pleasure and fair treatment of the participants.

Catering to the increasing need of women watching porn — sex-positive porn is starting to become more popular and mainstream.

When talking about sex-positive porn there are other terms talking about a similar idea, such as feminist porn or women’s porn. No matter what we call it, there is a difference between mainstream porn and sex positive porn — and there are slight differences in ideology or other criteria behind it that makes a distinction between sex positive, feminist or women’s porn.

The main idea behind all of them is that sex-positive porn is created for the purposes of encouraging women to accept, acknowledge and embrace their sexuality, equality and pleasure. It is usually produced and directed by women, showing te scenes from a female pleasure perspective — that was almost completely missing from mainstream porn. It is intended for a female audience with the goal that women should watch and enjoy it.

It is coming from a female perspective and based on female feedback. It goes against some main features in mainstream pornography, such as objectifying women and ignoring their genuine sexual pleasure.

Anti-porn feminists believe that the solution to stop porn objectifying women is to abolish porn; pro-porn feminists believe that the solution is to create porn that caters to women’s needs."

Side note: I would love to do ALL of the kinds of roles in women's porn. I'm a pro-porn feminist. 

https://medium.com/@morrison_octavia/what-is-sex-positive-porn-and-why-we-all-need-it-2b4f73cc3985

"Film screenshots: Many actors and actresses have done nude or partially nude scenes in non-pornographic mainstream films. Screenshots from these films are circulated widely and can usually be recognized by the low picture quality (from video). Increased popularity of broadband internet access makes possible the distribution of actual video clips and higher quality images, usually copied from DVDs. Often screenshots of these scenes are displayed in several frames as tiles.

Nudity in art – painting, sculpture and more recently photography – has generally reflected social standards of the time in aesthetics and modesty/morality. At all times in human history, the human body has been one of the principal subjects for artists. It has been represented in paintings and statues since prehistory. Both male and female nude depictions were common in antiquity, especially in ancient Greece. Depictions of the naked body have often been used in symbolic ways, as an extended metaphor for complex and multifaceted concepts. The Roman goddess Venus, whose functions encompassed love, beauty, sex, fertility and prosperity, was central to many religious festivals in ancient Rome, and was venerated under numerous cult titles. The Romans adapted the myths and iconography of her Greek counterpart, Aphrodite, in their art and literature.

Nude photo shoots: Mainstream sex magazines such as Playboy or photographic art magazines such as Black And White routinely feature nude shoots of celebrities. Some celebrities have modeled for nude photographs prior to becoming famous. Such images are often later redistributed in digital form by the publisher, or by a third party."

By the way: I want to do all roles in sex-positive pornography: Clear boundaries and consent, Genuine and authentic pleasure, and Fair treatment of the participants. 

     1. A woman had a hand in the production, writing, direction, etc. of the work.

     2. It depicts genuine female pleasure.

     3. It expands the boundaries of sexual representation on film and challenges stereotypes that are often found in mainstream porn. 

     Every role I'd played in the adult sex industry (every type of porn I said play every role in would follow all of these criteria for myself.)

Softcore pornography or softcore porn, is commercial still photography or film that has a pornographic or erotic component but is less sexually graphic and intrusive than hardcore pornography, defined by a lack of sexual penetration. Softcore pornography includes stripteases, lingerie modeling, simulated sex and emphasis on the sensual appreciation of the female or male form. It typically contains nude or semi-nude actors involved in love scenes and is intended to be sexually arousing and aesthetically beautiful. The distinction between softcore pornography and erotica is largely a matter of taste.

Remember, I don't break laws, I am not into cheating, I'm not into violence, I oppose objectification of all kinds, I'm not into crimes, I don't abuse, I am not into victimization, and I oppose human rights violations of all kinds. 

"I suppose you could say that sex on screen is like an edited version of sex in real life, and of course they are there for entertainment purposes and serve as plot devices, but there is a distinct lack in truly realistic sex scenes out there.

By realistic here, I don't necessarily mean graphic. You could have a realistic sex scene without any nudity whatsoever if executed correctly. Of course nudity plays a part in real-life sex, but it doesn't always have a place on TV. However, I think that realistic sex does.

I also think it's important to have a diverse representation of people having sex, including different ethnicities, ages, genders, sexualities, disabilities and sizes. Recently I watched the Netflix series Easy, a show revolving around sex and relationships. While they had quite a diverse casting, the female characters were all extremely slim. I found this to be quite hypocritical as the male characters were all of varying body types, as if suggesting it's ok for men but not for women to be a certain size. I definitely think there should have been a fairer representation of female bodies, not for "empowerment" purposes, but just to highlight what different bodies look like, and that larger women can enjoy sex too.

Fair and diverse representation of characters is important as the audience can identify more easily with someone who is like them in some way. It's also important to present sex scenes as natural, rather than objectifying or demonising those involved. In this way, viewers will be reassured that their sexuality, wants and desires are normal.

In portraying more realistic and diverse sex scenes on TV, people in minority groups and younger people will learn that sex is more than just penetration, can take time and doesn't have to meet a certain aesthetic to be good.

Blue Valentine also captures real sex. The whole thing probably happens a few minutes too fast, but it’s way more honest, vivid, and truthful. But it’s a really emotional scene that shows two people connect on a physical level; it’s believable, but it’s also really wonderful.

So when will we finally have more realistic sex represented in mainstream entertainment? Is Heritage right? Is real sex too miserable to watch? Are we too afraid to show human sexual fallibility without it being some exaggerated joke?

Here’s what I wish people making TV and movie decisions would understand: A fairy tale is a fairy tale, but sex doesn’t always have to be a piece of cake. It doesn’t always need to be clean and perfect. Fictional sex should make room for flaws, for discomfort, and for awkwardness. Isn’t imperfection way more interesting, anyway?"

"There's always this idea that a woman who does porn is disrespecting herself, but I completely disagree. Ultimately, yes, I am selling my body. I am doing the most vulnerable thing you can do - having sex - and I'm doing it in front of everyone in the world. So for me, I've always done it my own way; I've always been very stubborn and very in control - it was my way or the highway with directors and other actors. That was empowering.

There's another reason I call myself a feminist at the same time as a porn star: I'm exercising my freedom of choice. And so is everyone else in the industry. Whether they've made the choice because they have no money and it's an easy way of making some, or whether they just want to have sex and that's it, everyone I've met in that industry has made the choice to be there. Yes, every industry has instances of workers being exploited or mistreated, and porn is no different. That undoubtedly needs to change, regardless of profession. But, like other industries, it certainly isn't the majority many people think.

There's no reason the career I've built up in porn shouldn't be regarded with the same respect other women's careers in other industries are. I was always very aware of my principles - of my brand, of my following, of my look and of who I wanted to work for. I researched every single company before I shot for them, I said no to a lot of people and I've built my career up.

To me, my career in porn embodies everything I love about being a woman. It's power. It's different for everyone, but for me, I've learnt that being a woman truly makes you powerful, and nobody else's attitudes can change that."

Link: (I love this video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omXBiSVQ0lY.)

 Side note: By the way, I joyfully look forward to my sensitive lovers/decent people kind of "groupies".

Women's pleasure matters. Our female characters have their own sex drive and desires, and are not passive objects focused primarily on pleasuring the men.

Represent all people equally and respectfully. Do not reduce performers to any primal feature, whether that be body shape, ability, age or ethnicity.

We pay every person fairly, from interns to performers. When you pay for your porn you ensure that everyone working on the movie gets the right pay.

We have nothing to hide because we are proud of what we do. Unlike the tube sites, you can see the name of every person involved in each part of making an Erika Lust film. Meet the team!

Every performer on every shoot must provide up to date STI tests & choose which method of safe sex they will use.

Each part of the film is discussed and agreed upon with all performers well before the shoot.

All shoots include multiple breaks, food and a welcoming, relaxed atmosphere.

Every director or studio featured is paid commission for the sale of their films.

To ensure that the production of all films follow the values listed above we have developed Guidelines for Guest Directors to Shoot for Erika Lust and the Erika Lust Performer's Bill of Rights. Both of which are a mandatory read and sign for all guest directors. If you would like to find out more you can read both documents below.

Performer’s Bill of Rights

Guidelines for Directors

People facing drug addiction should be mental health treatment mandated, unworthy of prosecution.

People of any age, sex, or economic status can become addicted to a drug. However, certain factors can affect the likelihood and speed of developing an addiction: