On this episode of Finding Your Bliss, Celebrity Interviewer and Bliss Coach Judy Librach is joined by Tonya Lester, Brooklyn-based psychotherapist, couples counselor, and author of the new book “Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself!”

According to author Tonya Lester, at a time when their rights and voices are under increasing scrutiny and challenge, it’s more important than ever for women to be able to speak up for what they believe in. Too often, women are encouraged to be nurturers and peacemakers, which carries the implied message that they shouldn’t rock the boat — when in fact, being assertive is often exactly what’s required to create the life they truly want.

In Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself (New World Library, October 21, 2025), popular psychotherapist, Psychology Today blogger, and go-to relationship expert Tonya Lester offers conflict-averse women a bold directive: It’s OK to be difficult. Not mean, not rigid, not a bully — but the kind of difficult that makes the people in their lives see them and understand what they need. “I want to help you learn that seeking harmony for its own sake is a trap. That there’s no winning in making everyone else happy at your own expense. And that in nearly every situation, it is within your power to make positive changes,” writes Lester “Truly intractable situations are rare. But to change your circumstances, you must be willing to push back.”

Push Back challenges advice telling women they should smooth out interpersonal struggles and equips readers with the tools to build a life that works better for everyone in it, starting with themselves. The book is filled with real client stories, powerful self-assessments, sample dialogues, and practical tools to help readers: Express their needs and set boundaries Engage in honest, productive conflict Deal calmly with backlash from spouses, coworkers, family, and friends Stand firm in their convictions “Focusing on what we can control — how we move through the world — is how we meaningfully change our situation and set a healthy example for those in our lives,” writes Lester. “Even if we’ve been overaccommodating in the past or our needs have changed, we can still learn to assert ourselves. Our pasts don’t have to determine our futures. We’re allowed to change”

Tonya Lester, LCSW, is the author of Push Back: Live, Love, and Work with Others Without Losing Yourself and a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist and writer known for her work with relationships and communication. Her essay “Couples Therapist, Heal Thyself” was published in the Modern Love column in The New York Times, and she has been writing the popular Staying Sane Inside Insanity blog for Psychology Today since 2020. She has been featured as an expert in The Guardian, Newsweek, Well+Good, HuffPo, Fatherly, and the Bumble site The Buzz. Visit her online at http://www.TonyaLester.com.

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