Too Old For This Pit

Why is Nando’s way better than it really should be?   What’s the worst movie of all time? How long do you need to leave orange juice in the fridge for it to turn brown? We put all of these questions and more to Brett Boland, singer and guitarist for ethereal post-metal outfit Astronoid. 

Boasting two incredible albums and a soaring sound that’s almost impossible to define, we do actually talk about music with him too. We also throw in the world’s toughest Simpsons quiz as well. You know, for balance. 

Before we are connected to Brett through the wonder of remote meeting software, we discuss cereal bars, energy drinks as gateway drugs, shit dads in Christmas films and whether a tuxedo-sombrero combo can be considered ‘smart casual’. 

We are the cheese, the cracker is your social circle. Place the cheese on the cracker. Thank you. 

Hey you! Do you have eyelids? If you do you probably haven't listened to Svalbard, a band so ferocious that eleven seconds of their monumental music will be  enough to actually remove skin from your lovely face.  

We're joined by Serena Cherry, "guitars and growls" for the aforementioned Bristolian hardcore outfit, and this week we go off on a proper tangent. Yeah, we talk about the incredible experience that is their newest album, 'Will I Die, Will I Get Better?', but we quickly shift into a solid chat about Halloween, theme parks and rollercoasters. Don't worry though - we still ask your questions!

Before Serena joins us we chat about Butt-Rock, gardening TV shows and new carpets. Graham's son informs us, live on air, that he's done a poo.

Welcome to our lives.

I'm calling out to you, can you hear me? Hope so, because Grammy-nominated, multi-million-record-selling bass legend Paolo Gregoletto of Trivium joins us from across the pond for Episode 12. 

This right here is the section of text where we like to big up our incredible guests but we're not sure we will this time. It's Paolo. He plays bass in Trivium. The band Trivium. 

Press play and envelope your hungry ears with the sound of us chatting with Paolo about What The Dead Men Say (probably our favourite album of 2020), the construction of a kick-ass Trivium HQ in an aircraft hangar and why, unlike us, he doesn't spend all of his time on Warzone in the gulag chucking rocks at the player next to him. 

Before we load the pyrotechnics and throw our devil horns up in the air, we (Kieran and Graham, EQUAL co-hosts) engage in some jovial banter about clothes shopping on a budget, living our lives vicariously through other people's holiday videos and the most niche genre of metal out there - Wizard Of Oz-core. 

This time we're joined by Stijn Vanhoegaerden, guitarist of brilliant Belgian band Brutus. Try saying that quickly. 

To say we were looking forward to chatting with Stijn is an understatement - with two stunning albums under their belt and an epic live record out very soon, Brutus are one of the most exciting, dramatic rock acts out there right now. We talk about music influences, their recent socially distanced gig and how they may not have formed if Refused hadn't gotten back together. We also discuss how it feels to play atop a Napoleonic fort, why you probably shouldn't block Lars Ulrich if he hits you up on Facebook and we ask Stijn your questions!

Before we get into it all, Kieran and Graham reminisce on haircuts of yesteryear, share the joys of speed awareness courses and give one lucky non-UK listener the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to win some Marmite. Don't say we never give you owt.

Please note, Kieran's internet gremlins decided to give him a quick visit a few minutes before recording. In his own words, his audio may sound "a bit shit". 

We're alive! 

If there's one thing you truly need for a podcast, it's the internet. Unfortunately, Kieran has been without this precious modern commodity for almost two months and it's been a bit difficult to record and upload. But it's finally fixed and we're back on track with a brilliant guest - Justin Schlosberg of Hell Is For Heroes and August Spies!

Hell Is For Heroes is a band we've both loved for a long, long time and it was a real honour to chat with Justin about their incredible discography, their explosive live shows and his current solo project, August Spies. Being the biggest HIFH fan of all time, Kieran spends this episode in a state of ecstasy second only to the joyful bliss of his wedding day.  

Before that we talk to Justin we have a quick chat about how much we've missed seeing each other's lovely faces, Graham's now-worrying obsession with cooking outdoors and Kieran provides a completely impartial, unbiased consumer report on Sky broadband.

Thanks for sticking with us through this lengthy period of technical oblivion, we love you!

We're properly excited to be joined by Craig 'Ahead' Setari of New York LEGENDS Sick Of It All. As well as looking back at Craig's storied history playing bass in one of the greatest hardcore bands of all time, we chat with him about Greggs cheese and onion pasties, growing tomatoes, his love of Motown and the most famous gig venue in the world - CBGB. 

Before Craig graces us with his presence Kieran slurps a drink, Graham reads his less-than-stellar school reports from 20 years ago and we compare the best Captain Lee quotes as we discuss where we're up to in our binge marathon of Below Deck.

Welcome aboard listeners, smooth sailing ahead. 

This time we're joined by Dan Nightingale of Conjurer - one of the most exciting metal bands around right now! We chat about Peep Show, the massive success of their debut album, find out what it's like to record a collaboration record with someone you've never met and we ask your questions - is he really into Carly Rae Jepsen? Does he think a bear could beat a shark in a fight?!

We'll fill your ears with Grade F banter before that as Kieran makes great personal progress with his fear of spiders and Graham gets the ultimate adrenaline rush in a park. We also read some excerpts from a book called "Are You Turning Into Your Dad?" and talk about the disturbing noises we make when we sit down or eat. 

Ronan Keating was right, life really is a rollercoaster.

On this episode we're joined by Dan Franklin, author of 'Heavy: How Metal Changes the Way We See the World'. 

We chat about how the book came to be, the vast number of bands Dan's seen and the relief he felt after recovering his wedding ring from a Deftones moshpit. There's discussion about a study on death metal fans Vs 'normal' people, how album artwork can shape your experience of a record, and Dan's story about spending two days at the scrapyard prising a certain CD from the "automotive tomb" of his wrecked car.

Before we get into it all, Kieran and I discuss pubs reopening, cheap ice-cream, his betrayal of our friendship and the all-encompassing power you gain from throwing a microwave as far as you can. 

This time we’re joined by Gordon Morison of UK metal veterans Raging Speedhorn! Gordon tells us about the early days of the band and the sacrifices they made to play gigs, how he told Clown from Slipknot to “f*ck off” (it’s fine, they’re mates now) and confesses his love for massive 80s pop tunes. 
 
We also get into the new album, the line-up changes the band have been through in the last two decades and the best way to get revenge on your bandmate after a blazing row! 
 
Before Gordon joins us we chat about the perils of Facebook advertising, social distance dog meetups and our recently-established Barbadian fanbase. Boom!

On this exciting episode we're joined by Alan Day and Dan O'Connor of pop punk legends Four Year Strong!

Having recently released their new record, Brain Pain, the guys talk about the recording process, the expansion of their sound and the frustration of not yet being able to properly tour the album due to the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. 

Alan talks about his organic Christmas tree farm, Dan chats about the love/hate relationship he has with a particular item of UK fast food and we explore how the pandemic might change live shows in the future.

Before the guys join us we also have a brief discussion about mistaking dog poo for chocolate, James Hetfield's finance spreadsheet and how the phrase "I'm supporting small businesses" can be used to justify buying 50 cans of beer and a kilo of sweets online.

If you enjoy what you hear, don't forget to share this episode and join us on social media - just search for Too Old For This Pit.