E05 - Peaks and Valleys with Brian and Linda Seitz | Tools for Marriage

In this powerful episode of Tools for Marriage, Trevor and Laura sit down with Brian and Linda Seitz—leaders of Peaks and Valleys, a Christian marriage ministry with a heart for first responder couples. With over 36 years of marriage, they share wisdom forged through real-life trials: being unequally yoked, navigating a law enforcement career, facing health crises, and raising a family.

You’ll hear about their faith-filled journey, the creation of their marriage retreats, their books, and real stories of couples who turned things around. Whether you're in ministry, married to a first responder, or just looking to strengthen your relationship—this episode will encourage, equip, and inspire you.

👇 Use the chapter timestamps below to jump to your favorite part!

(0:00) Welcome & Guest Introduction

(1:18) Peaks & Valleys: Ministry Origins

(5:55) The Challenges of a Law Enforcement Marriage

(10:00) Bridging the Gap: Officer Persona vs. Home Life

(13:34) Learning by Teaching: Growing Through Counseling

(20:24) Healing Retreats for Law Enforcement Couples

(24:00) Faith at the Forefront: Retreat Approach

(35:39) The Power of Selflessness in Marriage

(37:25) Marriage: A Picture of Christ & The Church

(39:50) Navigating an Unequally Yoked Marriage

(46:27) Healthy Self-Care Within Marriage

(53:03) Stories of Hope & Transformation

(54:54) Understanding Personality Differences

(57:24) Resources & Final Encouragement

(58:48) Closing Blessing & Prayer

📖 Learn more or get their books at: https://peaksandvalleys.life/

E04: 5 Most Common Marriage Mistakes with Kelly DuPée | Tools for Marriage

In this episode Trevor & Laura sit down with Kelly DuPée. Coach Kelly, a pastor, police chaplain, marriage coach, and author, shares 5 Most Common Marriage mistakes and how to avoid them.

(00:00:00) Introduction of Marriage Coach Kelly DuPée  

(00:00:54) Kelly's Journey into Marriage Ministry  

(00:04:12) How Personal Hardships Shaped Kelly's Passion  

(00:06:22) Learning Humility: Asking God to Change Me  

(00:08:35) From Pastor to Marriage Coach & Author  

(00:14:40) Common Marriage Mistake #1: Communication & Understanding  

(00:24:55) Common Marriage Mistake #2: Prioritizing the Relationship  

(00:30:50) Common Marriage Mistake #3: Destructive Anger  

(00:45:38) Kelly's Coaching Approach: Meeting Couples Where They Are  

(00:47:03) Common Marriage Mistakes #4 & #5: Asking for Needs & Seeking Help  

(58:27) Conclusion and Final Prayer 

Show notes:Get a free digital copy of Kelly's book Turn It Up: https://turnitup.coach/75

Kelly's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@UCu7aEeOfGdZ5D3X7H7XXnyQ

To book your free Clarity Call with Kelly, text or call 626-804-1731.

E03 - Essential Tools for a Strong Marriage | Tools for Marriage

In this episode Trevor & Laura, marriage coaches, share the top tools they believe help to build a strong foundation needed to have a healthy marriage.

(0:00) - Introduction to the Secrets

(0:51) - Top Two Priorities: God and Spouse

(01:37) - The Importance of Prioritizing Your Spouse

(03:21) - Pouring into Work and Kids

(4:39) - The Closest Relationship on Earth

(5:47) - Visualizing the God-Centered Marriage

(6:56) - The Cord of Three Strands

(08:11) - The Power and Statistics of Praying Together

(09:38) - The P.R.A.Y. Acrostic

(11:12) - Strategies for Effective Prayer

(12:46) - Dealing with Worry

(13:50) - Surrendering to God

(15:12) - Using Index Cards for Prayer and Worry

(17:50) - Focus on God, Not the Storm

(18:56) - Love, Patience, and the Holy Spirit

(21:30) - Reading the Word of God Together

(25:56) - Seeking Wise Counsel

(27:54) - Leaving a Godly Legacy

(30:16) - Recognizing Differences in Worship

(32:16) - Radical Obedience

(33:14) - It's Not About Me

(34:45) - Having Hope for the Future

(35:15) - Subscribe, Connect, and Comment

(34:38) - Closing Prayer

Show Notes:

Power In Praise by Merlin R. Carothers

Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

Verses on clouds by Quozio

website: https://toolsformarriage.com

Episode 2: Marriage Challenges of First Responders | Tools for Marriage

In this episode Mark & Annette share their unique perspectives on serving as police officers and the challenges of being a first responder or a spouse. Statistics show the divorce rate in this group can be as high as 70%. With wisdom and humor they bring amazing insights into navigating marriage, faith, and family alongside the call of serving as a first responder.

00:00 Introduction – Welcome to Tools for Marriage

04:01 A Chance Meeting – How It All Started

08:00 A Birthday Surprise – A Moment of Change

12:04 All Eyes on Me – A Life-Changing Encounter

16:01 Defining the Relationship – Moving Forward

20:03 An Unexpected Call – A Turning Point

24:02 Navigating Challenges – Conversations and Discipline

28:03 Blocking Out Distractions – Prioritizing Marriage

32:01 Cultural Insights – Learning and Growing Together

36:06 Wisdom and Advice – Lessons from Experience

40:00 Work-Life Balance – Then and Now

44:01 Relationship Reflections – Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong?

48:00 Faith and Foundations – Building on Shared Beliefs

52:04 The Power of Encouragement – Lifting Each Other Up

56:00 Final Thoughts – Advice for Stronger Marriages

Episode 1: The Adventure Begins

Welcome to Tools for Marriage, where we explore communication, conflict, and connection . Hosts Trevor and Laura Black share insights, stories, and practical tools to help your marriage thrive.

Subscribe and visit us at https://toolsformarriage.com

Episode Format:

• Genesis (0:00) – How we got here, red ears and all

• Who We Are (1:24) – Introductions

• SYMBIS and TPMC (2:04) – Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts and The Pre-Marriage Course

• Coaches and Actors (3:13) – Our background as Marriage Nerds

• Marriage Nerds (3:29) – Key insights and what’s next

• Begin with the end in mind (5:39) – set the right trajectory, resist the drift

• Tools (7:29) – Key insights and what’s next

• The Two Becoming One (7:49) – children vs. marriage

• Starting a New Family (11:22) – writing your script together

• Some Tools (12:19) – Love Languages

• Gratitude (16:50) – rewire your brain

• Make Your Home a Refuge (17:43) – laugher, fun, and a soft place to fall

• Couch Time (18:33) – 10 to 15 minutes with no devices

• How Can I Make Your Day Better? (20:15) – a story of serving one another

• Date Night (21:20) – be intentional and continue to pursue each other

• Business Meeting (23:17) – sync schedules, finance discussions, trip planning

• Trips (24:20) – schedule them as it is important

• Marriage Retreats (25:19) – Marriage Matters with Doug Fields, be intentional about your relationship

• State of the Union / Summit (25:56) – How are we doing in our marriage?

• Being a Cheerleader (27:38) – encouragement in the good times and the bad

• Love and Respect (29:09) – a Biblical concept , how to cherish

• Keeping the Issue the Issue (32:16) – encouragement in the good times and the bad

• Positive Upward Spiral (33:52) – get the flywheel going in the right direction

• Effective Listening Exercise (34:29) – a tool on how to really listen to one another

• Fix vs. Listen (39:38) – seek to understand, could the fix be understanding?

• Feelings Pillow (40:49) – Identify your feelings, soul words and How We Love

• Conflict Card (42:55) – Rate the Depth of Your Disagreement, 1-10 scale

• Prayer of Blessing (44:42) – grateful hearts, strong relationships

• Thank you! (45:52) – follow along, subscribe, feedback

Episode Show Notes:

SYMBIS - https://www.symbis.com/

Doug Fields - https://www.dougfields.com/

How We Love - https://howwelove.com/

Love and Respect - https://www.loveandrespect.com/

Love Languages - https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language