They stared down death, high-fived fate, and said, "Nah, I'm good." Get ready for the unbelievable saga of history's most stubbornly alive humans! 🤯🕰️💀

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GO FACT YOURSELF presents: TOP 10 HISTORICAL FIGURES WHO ABSOLUTELY SHOULD’VE DIED… BUT DIDN’T! Buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's dusty history lesson! We're diving deep into the bonkers backstories of ten legendary figures who redefined the meaning of "against all odds" and left us screaming "HOW?!" at our speakers. From near-fatal mishaps to defying the laws of physics, medicine, and possibly karma itself, these historical heavyweights should've RSVP'd to the afterlife… but clearly, their invitations got lost in the mail! 😉📜💥

Join us as we count down the ten most unbelievable survival stories that prove sometimes, just sometimes, fate has a seriously twisted sense of humour:

#10: The Priest Who Fell From the Sky and Just… Walked It Off ⛪✈️🌲 In 1944, Father Francesco Zamboni plummeted over 20,000 feet from a shot-down bomber without a parachute over Nazi territory... and lived to tell the tale with just a broken leg and cracked ribs! Talk about divine intervention or maybe just really soft snow and dense pine forests. We're calling it: priests get extra lives! 🙏

#9: The Man Who Beat a Guillotine With His Neck Muscles 💪🔪🇫🇷 Meet Joseph Samuel, a French convict in 1803 Australia whose date with destiny (a guillotine) went hilariously wrong not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES! The rope snapped, the machine malfunctioned, and then the blade bounced off his neck. The crowd lost it, saw a sign, and bam! Sentence commuted. Forget leg day; neck day might actually save your life! 🏋️‍♂️

#8: The Spy Who Survived Cyanide, Gunshots, Poison Cake, AND Drowning 🍰🔫🌊 This is Dusko Popov, the real-life James Bond who made dodging death his actual job as a triple agent during WWII. Survived poison cake (threw it up!), got shot and swam half a mile in icy water with a bullet in his leg, and played dead in a corpse pile for two days. Rasputin wishes he had this guy's survival skills! 🍸

#7: The Man Who Took a Train to the Face and Lived 🚂🤕🤯 Phineas Gage, a railroad worker in 1848, had a 3.5-foot iron rod blasted clean through his skull... and then he stood up and told everyone about it! Brain surgery? Nah, just a slight headache. He went on to inspire the entire field of neuroscience and then drove stagecoaches in Chile. Head trauma? Never heard of her! 🧠

#6: The Queen Who Died. Then Didn’t. Then Did. Then Didn’t. 👑🧟‍♀️ Byzantium's Empress Zoe in the 11th century was declared dead multiple times due to poison, exile, alleged drowning, and being mummified alive! But like a medieval phoenix (or a glitch in the matrix), she kept popping back up, much to the annoyance of everyone and the delight of riotous crowds. Talk about a reign of terror... over death itself! 🏰

(Part 2 - The Unkillable Uprising Continues!) 🔥

#5: The Man Who Survived TWO Atomic Bombs ☢️💥🤯 Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945, survived the atomic bomb, went home to Nagasaki, and then SURVIVED THAT ONE TOO on August 9th! Less than 2 miles from the epicenter twice. He lived to 93 and gave anti-nuclear lectures. Commute goals? More like cosmic middle finger goals! 🖕

#4: The Woman Who Fell 33,000 Feet and Lived (With a Smile) 🛩️⬇️😁 Vesna Vulović, a flight attendant, holds the Guinness World Record for surviving the highest fall without a parachute – over 33,000 feet – after her plane exploded! Landed in the snow, coma for 27 days, then back to work and political activism! "Never learning how to die" seems like a solid life strategy! 🤷‍♀️

#3: The Assassin Who Died 6 Times in One Day (And Still Lived) 💀😵‍💫🔫 Blagoje Jovović, who tried to assassinate Tito, allegedly survived being poisoned, stabbed, shot twice, drowned, hanged (rope broke!), and clubbed by Soviet agents all in one day! Then he shot back and disappeared into the mountains. Move over, John Wick, there's a new unkillable legend in town! 🧥

#2: The Politician Who Took a Bullet, Gave a Speech Anyway 🎤🤕🇺🇸 In 1912, Theodore Roosevelt got SHOT in the chest before a campaign rally. What did he do? Gave a 90-minute speech with the bullet still lodged in his ribs! Opened with "Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot". Bulletproof? More like legend-proof! 🗣️

#1: The Man Who Dug His Own Grave… Then Climbed Out of It 🪦⬆️😨 Soviet soldier Lev Zasetsky was shot in the head by Nazis, made to dig his own grave, buried alive, and then he clawed his way out! Blind and partially paralyzed, he survived in the woods for two years and lived to write his life story letter by letter. Talk about a grave mistake... for the Nazis! 💀➡️🚶‍♂️

So, who needs superheroes when history is this wildly unbelievable? Tune in to GO FACT YOURSELF and prepare to have your perception of mortality completely shattered! Don't forget to subscribe for more mind-blowing Top 10 lists that'll make you the life of every (socially distanced) party! 🎉🎧💯

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