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Top 10 Spiteful Inventions: When Pettiness Changed the World
🤯 Prepare your popcorn (or maybe some spite-flavored chips?) for the most deliciously devious episode of GO FACT YOURSELF yet! 🤯 This week, we're diving headfirst into the TOP 10 INVENTIONS MADE OUT OF PURE SPITE (BECAUSE F YOU, THAT’S WHY)! Forget innovation born from noble necessity; we're talking about the glorious, petty brainchildren of tech titans throwing billion-dollar tantrums and scorned geniuses dropping world-changing mic drops out of sheer vindictiveness. This isn’t your grandma’s listicle; it’s a historical smackdown where saltiness is the secret ingredient to progress. Get ready for shocking origin stories and commentary so spicy, it’ll make your monocle pop off! We’re ranking the pettiest patents and most vindictive ventures in history, all served with a side of “I hope this ruins your whole decade”. Buckle up, buttercups, because this ride is powered by pure, unadulterated rage! 🔥
Here’s the scorching hot Top 10 we’re dissecting:
* #10: The Thermos That Burned an Empire 🌡️ Imagine inventing something revolutionary, only to have a rival swoop in and make millions while you refuse to even SAY THEIR BRAND NAME! That's the epic tale of Sir James Dewar, inventor of the vacuum flask, who got financially ghosted and spent the rest of his days calling the wildly successful "Thermos" "that cursed mug of betrayal". Peak British pettiness? Inventing something world-changing and then stubbornly refusing to benefit out of principle? You betcha!
* #9: The Chainsaw — Invented by a Surgeon Who Was Done With Screaming Women 🪚 Yes, you read that right! Two Scottish doctors in the 18th century got so fed up with the protracted process of childbirth that they invented the OG chainsaw to hack through cartilage during episiotomies. Talk about a gynecological grudge going full Texas Chainsaw Massacre! 😱 From cutting babies out to... well, you know.
* #8: The Potato Chip — Invented Because a Chef Hated a Customer’s Attitude 🥔 Saratoga Springs got salty! Chef George Crum, annoyed by a picky customer (possibly Cornelius Vanderbilt!), sliced potatoes paper-thin out of spite because the dude wanted "thicker" fries. He made them too thin to even stab with a fork! The twist? The customer LOVED them. Sometimes, revenge is best served fried and salted! 🍟
* #7: The Middle Finger Emoji — A Tech Designer's Silent Protest 🖕 In 2014, Unicode 7.0 unleashed a digital weapon of passive aggression! Apple and Google hesitated, but Microsoft said YOLO, all thanks to one mid-level developer tired of bureaucratic censorship. Submitted as the deceptively formal “Reversed Hand With Extended Digit,” it was unanimously approved on April Fool’s Day. The world’s most-used digital insult? Born from a coder who couldn’t flip off his boss IRL!
* #6: Monopoly — The Game Invented to Expose Greedy Capitalists (And Then Got Stolen by One) 💰 Elizabeth Magie created “The Landlord’s Game” in 1904 to show the evils of monopolies. Fast forward, Charles Darrow steals it, renames it “Monopoly,” and makes bank! Parker Brothers paid Magie a measly $500 with no royalties. The ultimate irony: a game meant to fight capitalism becoming a capitalist tool! You could mortgage that irony for fake money!
* #5: The Typewriter Keyboard Layout (QWERTY) — Designed to Slow You Down ⌨️ Ever wonder why your fingers feel like they're in a tangled mess? Blame Christopher Sholes! Tired of typebars jamming due to fast typing, he scrambled the keys to intentionally reduce speed. The Dvorak keyboard, designed to fix this inefficiency, got buried by stubbornness and corporate spite. Billions of fingers slowed down for over a century because of ink smudges!
* #4: The Eiffel Tower — Hated So Hard, It Became Immortal 🗼 Parisian elites called it a "metal asparagus" and mocked Gustave Eiffel's work. His response? Make it taller. Out of pure spite! Eiffel secretly funded radio antennas to keep it from being torn down, making it too useful to destroy. Supposed to be temporary? Now it's the most visited paid monument on Earth. Spite wins!
* #3: The AK-47 — A Gun Made to Shame the Nazis 🔫 Mikhail Kalashnikov built this iconic rifle to avenge his injuries at the hands of Nazi soldiers. His goal: a weapon so simple and deadly, even peasants could use it. Jaw-dropper alert: Kalashnikov later felt guilty, saying, “I created a weapon of war, not of terrorists”. A personal vendetta that shaped global conflict!
* #2: Frankenstein — Mary Shelley’s Revenge on Science Bros 🧟♀️ Shelley lost a child, then attended a party full of mansplaining men writing ghost stories. Her response? Invent modern science fiction with "Frankenstein," a direct middle finger to arrogant male scientists and the God complex of 19th-century medicine. This "ghost story" became an eternal critique of hubris! She didn’t just write a novel; she birthed a monster that haunts white coats to this day!
* #1: The Eiffel Tower Apartment — Gustave Eiffel’s Petty Power Move 🏢 Yes, Eiffel is back for an encore of spite! He built a secret apartment at the top of the tower JUST to flex on his haters. Critics weren't invited, but Thomas Edison got the VIP treatment, rubbed in local papers for maximum effect. Eiffel didn’t just build the tallest tower; he made it his penthouse because petty is Parisian!
Tune in to hear all the glorious details, the snarky commentary, and maybe even a dramatic theremin solo! This is GO FACT YOURSELF, where the truth is stranger (and pettier) than fiction! 🎧 Don't forget to tell your friends your keyboard was designed to slow you down... and then GO FACT YOURSELF!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com
View all episodes
By Top 10 Lists. Zero Apologies!🤯 Prepare your popcorn (or maybe some spite-flavored chips?) for the most deliciously devious episode of GO FACT YOURSELF yet! 🤯 This week, we're diving headfirst into the TOP 10 INVENTIONS MADE OUT OF PURE SPITE (BECAUSE F YOU, THAT’S WHY)! Forget innovation born from noble necessity; we're talking about the glorious, petty brainchildren of tech titans throwing billion-dollar tantrums and scorned geniuses dropping world-changing mic drops out of sheer vindictiveness. This isn’t your grandma’s listicle; it’s a historical smackdown where saltiness is the secret ingredient to progress. Get ready for shocking origin stories and commentary so spicy, it’ll make your monocle pop off! We’re ranking the pettiest patents and most vindictive ventures in history, all served with a side of “I hope this ruins your whole decade”. Buckle up, buttercups, because this ride is powered by pure, unadulterated rage! 🔥
Here’s the scorching hot Top 10 we’re dissecting:
* #10: The Thermos That Burned an Empire 🌡️ Imagine inventing something revolutionary, only to have a rival swoop in and make millions while you refuse to even SAY THEIR BRAND NAME! That's the epic tale of Sir James Dewar, inventor of the vacuum flask, who got financially ghosted and spent the rest of his days calling the wildly successful "Thermos" "that cursed mug of betrayal". Peak British pettiness? Inventing something world-changing and then stubbornly refusing to benefit out of principle? You betcha!
* #9: The Chainsaw — Invented by a Surgeon Who Was Done With Screaming Women 🪚 Yes, you read that right! Two Scottish doctors in the 18th century got so fed up with the protracted process of childbirth that they invented the OG chainsaw to hack through cartilage during episiotomies. Talk about a gynecological grudge going full Texas Chainsaw Massacre! 😱 From cutting babies out to... well, you know.
* #8: The Potato Chip — Invented Because a Chef Hated a Customer’s Attitude 🥔 Saratoga Springs got salty! Chef George Crum, annoyed by a picky customer (possibly Cornelius Vanderbilt!), sliced potatoes paper-thin out of spite because the dude wanted "thicker" fries. He made them too thin to even stab with a fork! The twist? The customer LOVED them. Sometimes, revenge is best served fried and salted! 🍟
* #7: The Middle Finger Emoji — A Tech Designer's Silent Protest 🖕 In 2014, Unicode 7.0 unleashed a digital weapon of passive aggression! Apple and Google hesitated, but Microsoft said YOLO, all thanks to one mid-level developer tired of bureaucratic censorship. Submitted as the deceptively formal “Reversed Hand With Extended Digit,” it was unanimously approved on April Fool’s Day. The world’s most-used digital insult? Born from a coder who couldn’t flip off his boss IRL!
* #6: Monopoly — The Game Invented to Expose Greedy Capitalists (And Then Got Stolen by One) 💰 Elizabeth Magie created “The Landlord’s Game” in 1904 to show the evils of monopolies. Fast forward, Charles Darrow steals it, renames it “Monopoly,” and makes bank! Parker Brothers paid Magie a measly $500 with no royalties. The ultimate irony: a game meant to fight capitalism becoming a capitalist tool! You could mortgage that irony for fake money!
* #5: The Typewriter Keyboard Layout (QWERTY) — Designed to Slow You Down ⌨️ Ever wonder why your fingers feel like they're in a tangled mess? Blame Christopher Sholes! Tired of typebars jamming due to fast typing, he scrambled the keys to intentionally reduce speed. The Dvorak keyboard, designed to fix this inefficiency, got buried by stubbornness and corporate spite. Billions of fingers slowed down for over a century because of ink smudges!
* #4: The Eiffel Tower — Hated So Hard, It Became Immortal 🗼 Parisian elites called it a "metal asparagus" and mocked Gustave Eiffel's work. His response? Make it taller. Out of pure spite! Eiffel secretly funded radio antennas to keep it from being torn down, making it too useful to destroy. Supposed to be temporary? Now it's the most visited paid monument on Earth. Spite wins!
* #3: The AK-47 — A Gun Made to Shame the Nazis 🔫 Mikhail Kalashnikov built this iconic rifle to avenge his injuries at the hands of Nazi soldiers. His goal: a weapon so simple and deadly, even peasants could use it. Jaw-dropper alert: Kalashnikov later felt guilty, saying, “I created a weapon of war, not of terrorists”. A personal vendetta that shaped global conflict!
* #2: Frankenstein — Mary Shelley’s Revenge on Science Bros 🧟♀️ Shelley lost a child, then attended a party full of mansplaining men writing ghost stories. Her response? Invent modern science fiction with "Frankenstein," a direct middle finger to arrogant male scientists and the God complex of 19th-century medicine. This "ghost story" became an eternal critique of hubris! She didn’t just write a novel; she birthed a monster that haunts white coats to this day!
* #1: The Eiffel Tower Apartment — Gustave Eiffel’s Petty Power Move 🏢 Yes, Eiffel is back for an encore of spite! He built a secret apartment at the top of the tower JUST to flex on his haters. Critics weren't invited, but Thomas Edison got the VIP treatment, rubbed in local papers for maximum effect. Eiffel didn’t just build the tallest tower; he made it his penthouse because petty is Parisian!
Tune in to hear all the glorious details, the snarky commentary, and maybe even a dramatic theremin solo! This is GO FACT YOURSELF, where the truth is stranger (and pettier) than fiction! 🎧 Don't forget to tell your friends your keyboard was designed to slow you down... and then GO FACT YOURSELF!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gofactyourself.substack.com