EP226 | Crotch Goblins, Supermarket Rage & Judge Jerry’s Wedding Verdict

Crotch goblins, supermarket rage, New York mole people, common sense and a child-free wedding that somehow ends up in Judge Jerry’s courtroom. Welcome to Topicopedia EP226. 🎙️😂

This week, Ste and Nicole get into listener feedback, some of the stranger stories making the headlines, people apparently emerging from New York manholes, trees getting rights and Chester Zoo’s slightly unfortunate predator ticket wording.

Then it’s this week’s Off Topic Topic: the things other people’s kids do in public that drive us absolutely mad — sticky fingers, seat kicking, blocking aisles and parents pretending not to notice.

Judge Jerry returns to rule on a child-free wedding that somehow turns into a plan to use a new mum’s house as an unofficial childcare centre.

After that, it’s supermarket edition of Follow Fast or Scroll Past, Meme of the Week and a final selection of jokes that probably shouldn’t have made it onto the internet.

👇 Let us know your thoughts in the comments and vote for Meme of the Week at Topicopedia.online.

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⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 - Intro

02:50 - B&M bargains, spiders & the weekly catch-up

15:36 - Andy’s Segment / Listener Feedback

21:50 - This Week’s News

37:21 - Off Topic Topic: Other People’s Crotch Goblins

1:02:12 - Judge Jerry: The Child-Free Wedding

1:10:52 - Follow Fast or Scroll Past: Supermarket Edition

1:32:58 - Meme of the Week

1:36:38 - Jokes of the Week

1:40:41 - Outro

#Topicopedia #Podcast #UKPodcast #ComedyPodcast #BritishHumour #FunnyPodcast #JudgeJerry #PodcastClips #CrotchGoblins #Supermarket #Funny #Comedy

EP225 | WETHERSPOONS PLATES ARE BRANDING GENIUS

Episode 225 starts with autumn, technical gremlins and the remains of the NFT boom before heading into stolen Guinness, driverless taxis, a 35-day film, USB-sniffing police dogs and another selection of news stories that reality probably should have rejected.

We also discover why Wetherspoons plates are instantly recognisable, compare modern nights out, learn some strange facts about the brain and hand Judge Jerry a paternity-and-blackmail case that gets more ridiculous with every sentence.

Then it is holiday arguments, Meme of the Week and some properly dreadful jokes.

00:00 Welcome back — autumn, aching Nicole & technical gremlins

03:02 Listener feedback — NFTs, Japan vending machines & famous cats

11:27 Notable News — stolen Guinness & mosquito worries

15:00 Robo-taxis, the 35-day film & other rabbit holes

19:33 Kinky the eagle, USB-sniffing dogs, Malört & Ukraine

24:19 Wetherspoons plates, pub hopping & changing nightlife

33:02 Nicole’s big family milestone, Home Bargains & Sayers

36:35 Off Topic — strange things your brain does

46:36 Judge Jerry — Coventry paternity chaos

55:29 Follow Fast or Scroll Past — holiday edition

1:16:03 Meme of the Week — Toby “Harvery” vs Newton

1:18:51 Jokes of the Week & outro

#Topicopedia #ComedyPodcast #UKPodcast #Podcast #JudgeJerry #PodcastClips #BritishComedy #Wetherspoons

EP224 | Bonnie Blue, Dad’s Secret Subscription & a Very Awkward Baby Question

Nicole is back from Cornwall with a new coffee machine and a Nintendo Switch, and it doesn’t take long for things to deteriorate.

We get filthy with personalised Christmas baubles, discover what scientists think cats are saying with their urine, hear about cheese-ball motorway chaos and discuss a horrifying superglue DIY fix.

Then it’s things that feel illegal but aren’t, driving arguments, Meme of the Week and a particularly messy fictional Judge Jerry case involving an adult video, a tattoo, Dad’s secret subscription and a baby nobody is prepared to speculate about.

Plus, of course, some terrible jokes.

00:00 Welcome back - Cornwall, coffee & gaming

05:26 Catch-up - Tomodachi Life and “fuck it, we ball”

11:01 Rude laser-cut Christmas baubles

12:42 Listener feedback & Andy Says

24:19 Topicopedia News

33:15 Cheese-ball chaos & the superglue disaster

39:26 Bonnie Blue, the baby & the comment section

43:19 Off Topic - Things that feel illegal but aren’t

50:19 Judge Jerry - the family dinner disaster

59:47 Driving debates - lane hoggers, learners & parking

1:14:25 Meme of the Week

1:16:49 Jokes of the Week

#Topicopedia #ComedyPodcast #UKPodcast #Podcast #JudgeJerry #PodcastClips #BritishComedy

EP223 | £38k by mistake?

A neighbour row escalates into CCTV, spreadsheets, Who Let The Dogs Out and retaliatory Cocomelon before Judge Jerry delivers his verdict. Plus a £38,611 British Gas mistake, AI shoplifters, useless AI emails, aliens, secret millions, dinosaurs in a tank and some properly questionable jokes.

07:23 — AI email loop / “I’ll pass this onto a human”

14:07 — Andy Burnham / fake Trump chief of staff

18:37 — British Gas £38,611.59 mistake

22:15 — AI wrongly flags comedy promoter as a shoplifter

25:35 — Hiding being secretly rich

30:17 — Taking an army tank back to see the dinosaurs

39:23 — Ricky Gervais / aliens / Stanley Cup

49:37 — Who Let The Dogs Out vs Cocomelon / Gary’s spreadsheet

53:36 — Judge Jerry / “Cold War started with Excel”

1:11:30 — Jokes / awkward holiday postcard

#Topicopedia #ComedyPodcast #BritishPodcast #FunnyPodcast #JudgeJerry #PodcastClips #UKComedy #NeighbourFromHell #AI #AdultHumour #ComedyClips #PodcastUK

This week on Topicopedia, things get weird remarkably quickly.

Nicole somehow gets Michael Barrymore to sing Happy Birthday to “Spoodpimpy”, we discover what happens when somebody puts Bovril in a SodaStream, and Ste finds Nicole a bargain laptop online… unfortunately the seller appears to have included considerably more in the photos than just the ports.

We also get into emergency wildfire alerts, AI working out where your holiday photos were taken, the increasingly questionable world of penis fillers, and ask what things are massively overrated — including Matcha, Dubai chocolate, gender reveal parties and the legendary Binley Mega Chippy.

Then Judge Jerry tackles possibly his finest case yet: a man discovers his girlfriend of six years has secretly married her gay best friend to help him get a mortgage. Somehow, two dogs called Pickle and Dave end up becoming key parts of the judgement.

Plus: four-day weeks, working from home, office birthday collections, compulsory fun, cameras on in meetings, quiet quitting, Meme of the Week and the usual terrible jokes.

00:00 Intro

04:05 Birthdays, eclipses & general nonsense

08:18 Michael Barrymore sings for Spoodpimpy

14:23 Listener feedback

17:58 Bovril in a SodaStream

26:43 This week's news

27:13 The emergency wildfire alert

32:54 AI can identify your holiday photos

39:40 Why are men getting penis fillers?

42:46 What is massively overrated?

56:21 Whatever happened to Binley Mega Chippy?

58:02 Nicole's new laptop takes a VERY strange turn

1:02:49 Judge Jerry: She secretly married someone else

1:08:31 Judge Jerry delivers his verdict

1:10:31 Workplace debates

1:18:25 Compulsory fun can get in the bin

1:22:16 Quiet quitting

1:27:24 Meme of the Week

1:30:16 Jokes of the Week

#Topicopedia #ComedyPodcast #BritishPodcast #UKPodcast #PodcastComedy #JudgeJerry #FunnyPodcast #MichaelBarrymore #QuietQuitting #MemeOfTheWeek

We both lick it out.

Yes, that is a genuine sentence from EP221. And yes, we immediately realised it would probably end up in the title.

This week Ste and Nicole tackle the important issues: the correct way to eat a Creme Egg, whether eating an Oreo normally makes you a psychopath, why stealing somebody else's chips tastes better because "the secret ingredient is crime", and just how much food you can cram into your mouth before your jaw gives up.

Before all that, there's a confession involving a nearly 1,200-day Snapchat streak that technically died before being resurrected for 99p, another accidental brush with going viral, baby spiders, listener feedback from Andy and another collection of news stories that sound made up but somehow aren't.

We meet 97-year-old wing-walker Betty Bromage, hear about a Mercedes badge apparently getting hot enough to brand people and discover a fashion label whose name basically translates to Fecal Matter.

Then Judge Jerry returns to decide whether secretly recording a two-faced relative really ruined a wedding — including seven bridesmaids, an unwanted wedding celebration and a cousin who probably shouldn't be trusted anywhere near the bouquet.

Finally, Follow Fast or Scroll Past takes on social-media habits including shared Facebook accounts, gym selfies, public relationship arguments, filming strangers, parents posting their children online, voice notes, feet pics and screenshotting private conversations.

Plus Meme of the Week attempts to return, before technology gets involved, and we finish with the usual selection of terrible jokes.

🎧 Topicopedia EP221 — out now.

🌐 Topicopedia.online

#Topicopedia #ComedyPodcast #BritishPodcast #UKPodcast #Podcast #PodcastClips #JudgeJerry #UncleJerry #Comedy #SocialMedia #FunnyPodcast #PodcastComedy

00:00 Intro & Host Catch-Up

08:57 The Andy Segment & Listener Feedback

18:05 Notable News

28:53 Betty Bromage, Mercedes & Fecal Fashion

34:57 Off Topic: How Do You Eat Yours?

38:02 Psychopathic Oreos & Food Rules

48:39 Judge Jerry: Did I Ruin the Wedding?

58:43 Follow Fast or Scroll Past

01:02:13 Shared Accounts & Relationship Drama

01:09:41 Filming Strangers, Kids Online & Feet Pics

01:23:57 Meme of the Week

01:25:46 Jokes of the Week

Description:

Nicole’s back has finally packed up, Ste has returned from his birthday trip to London considerably poorer, and a disappointing Gordon Ramsay burger has left him questioning everything.

In Episode 220 of Topicopedia, we hear about Nicole’s terrifying night home alone, debate whether Britain should ever reconsider the death penalty, and meet the electric Jaguar driver whose own car grassed him up to the police.

There’s also an AI school robot linked to a company making sex bots, surfing dogs, a £28,000 overdue library book, a floor covered in enough peanut butter to make 15,000 sandwiches, and the chance to dance naked inside Stonehenge.

Our Off Topic discussion asks why stolen chips, cinema popcorn and food made by somebody else always taste better.

Then Judge Jerry delivers his verdict on a boyfriend who practically lives at his girlfriend’s house, eats her food, uses her electricity, contributes absolutely nothing and considers McDonald’s an acceptable birthday celebration.

We also tackle the biggest restaurant debates, including QR code menus, automatic service charges, splitting the bill, children in fine-dining restaurants, bottomless brunches and tipping in the UK.

Plus Meme of the Week and a collection of jokes that become progressively less suitable for polite company.

Vote for your favourite meme and send us your stories, questions and feedback at Topicopedia.online.

Please like, subscribe, comment and share the episode with somebody who enjoys terrible advice delivered with complete confidence.

00:00 Uncle Jerry’s EP220 introduction

01:45 Nicole’s back and Ste’s birthday

06:04 London, train chaos and Gordon Ramsay

22:19 Listener feedback and Nicole’s midnight scare

31:37 Notable News

48:13 Off Topic: Foods that taste better for no reason

64:06 Judge Jerry: Boyfriend or house cat?

74:12 Follow Fast or Scroll Past: Restaurant debates

88:24 Meme of the Week

91:38 Jokes of the Week

95:11 Outro

#Topicopedia #Podcast #BritishPodcast #ComedyPodcast #JudgeJerry #UncleJerry #RelationshipAdvice #FunnyPodcast #UKPodcast #PodcastClips

In Episode 219, Ste and Nicole accidentally spend far too long investigating Ben & Jerry’s flavours before eventually remembering they have an actual podcast to record.

There’s listener feedback, Andy Burnham and Number 10 North, hosepipe snitches, people parachuting from towers, a real-life Spider-Man, rogue AI, Sam Smith’s hazel-eye confusion and plenty more from the week’s headlines.

Nicole then challenges Ste to identify everyday products using nothing but furious one-star reviews, before Uncle Jerry tackles a family crisis involving missing food, a hidden kitchen camera, a stolen cheesecake and a mum secretly using her son’s house as a waiting room for an affair with the 82-year-old neighbour.

Finally, meal kits, Amazon Prime, app payments, advert-free streaming, creator memberships and car subscriptions face Follow Fast or Scroll Past, followed by Meme of the Week and another collection of deeply questionable jokes.

Share the podcast and vote for your favourite meme at Topicopedia.online.

00:00 Welcome to Episode 219

02:44 Nicole’s Home Alone and 3D Printing

05:45 Andy’s Feedback

09:49 The Unplanned Ben & Jerry’s Investigation

19:01 This Week’s News

29:36 Hosepipe Bans and Neighbour Revenge

31:47 Parachuting From Towers

34:05 Spider-Man, Rogue AI and the Viral Cleaner

36:16 Sam Smith’s Hazel-Eye Confusion

38:40 Serious News and Political Violence

43:24 Off-Topic Topic: Guess the One-Star Product

57:30 Judge Jerry: Mum’s Cheesecake Affair

1:05:57 Follow Fast or Scroll Past: Subscriptions

1:29:22 Meme of the Week

1:31:55 Jokes of the Week

1:36:05 Outro

Episode 218 gets expensive, awkward and worryingly canine.

Nicole has bought a 3D printer and immediately discovered that the printer itself is only the beginning of the spending. We catch up with your feedback, discuss the week's headlines and make some political predictions that may age terribly.

Then Ste plays The Price Is Wrong, attempting to guess the real cost of everything from a cup of tea at The Ritz to airport parking, theme-park churros and an alarmingly expensive Mr Whippy.

Judge Jerry also returns to rule on a family birthday dilemma involving a friend's dog persona, a harness, a surprise game of fetch and a previous incident with hand-fed pork scratchings in Wetherspoons.

Finally, we settle some airport-etiquette arguments, battle over Meme of the Week and finish with another collection of wonderfully questionable jokes.

Listen, vote and send us your own stories at topicopedia.online.

Short podcast-app description

Nicole's new 3D-printing hobby gets expensive, Ste faces outrageous prices in The Price Is Wrong, and Judge Jerry rules on whether a human Alsatian should be allowed at a family birthday party. Plus airport etiquette, memes and rude jokes.

00:00 Uncle Jerry takes over the internet

04:02 Catch-up: Nicole buys a 3D printer

10:40 Listener feedback

17:34 The week's news and headlines

20:33 Prince Harry wants podcast appearances

22:26 A world-record skydive attempt

24:01 Ridiculous requests to British embassies

26:01 UK political shake-up and predictions

35:11 Off-Topic Topic: The Price Is Wrong

36:06 £12.50 for tea at The Ritz

37:21 Disneyland water prices

38:34 Cinema popcorn price shock

39:33 Luxury London cocktails

46:00 The cost of seaside fish and chips

50:37 Six quid for one scoop of ice cream

52:07 Heathrow parking prices

58:49 The £5.20 Mr Whippy

61:21 Nearly £7 for one churro

63:28 Judge Jerry enters the courtroom

63:59 The human-dog birthday dilemma

68:00 Judge Jerry delivers his ruling

71:56 Follow Fast or Scroll Past: Airport etiquette

79:52 Meme of the Week

84:46 Joke of the Week

88:15 Outro

Topicopedia #ComedyPodcast #BritishPodcast #FunnyPodcast #PodcastClips #JudgeJerry #AirportEtiquette #PriceIsWrong #UKComedy #AdultHumour #PodcastUK #ComedyClips

Autocorrect has learned one word from Ste’s phone and it absolutely refuses to let it go: THE BINDICATOR.

This week, Nicole reveals the matching tattoos and launches a forensic investigation into the face of someone who laughed at them. Ste embraces sticky-ball season, Andy risks the friendship by attacking pistachios, and Topical Media returns with the biggest, weirdest and most ridiculous stories of the week.

Then Autocorrect Roulette exposes far too much, including Nicole’s plan for old people and Ste’s suspiciously persistent home-automation dashboard.

Judge Jerry also tackles a key-party disaster involving Mum’s Nissan Micra, a woman called Bev, discount body glitter and something now known as “the little red rocket”.

Plus, we decide whether chips belong in a McFlurry, whether banana pizza should be prosecuted, crown the Meme of the Week and finish with jokes of varying legality and quality.

Listen, vote and send us your feedback or Judge Jerry dilemmas at topicopedia.online.

00:00 Matching tattoos and what’s coming up

03:05 Sticky-ball season and Facebook pettiness

08:20 Andy’s feedback

13:02 Topical Media

26:39 Celebrity rubbish, 125 T-shirts and a giant penis plant

30:47 The Off Topic Topic: Autocorrect Roulette

42:20 Judge Jerry: Mum’s Micra at a key party

47:26 Follow Fast or Scroll Past: Weird food combinations

58:23 Meme of the Week

1:01:41 Jokes of the Week

1:04:44 Outro

#Topicopedia #Podcast #BritishPodcast #ComedyPodcast #UncleJerry #JudgeJerry #Autocorrect #PredictiveText #WeirdFood #MemeOfTheWeek