Total Relaxation

Lying: is it bad or is it an artful form of storytelling in the post-truth age? We welcome comedian and former math club member Maya Kanitkar to the podcast to talk about their intricate web of harmless lies. Also in this ep: living in the Gen Z panopticon, California cinnamon rolls, being European, Emotional Kiss, pretending to quit smoking, burning off your hair with a joint, the mask of performance, the crumbling of reality, workshopping a new micro-lie. Enjoy!

More Maya here: @mayakanitkar

Grab onto the grass and get grounded because this week we're launching into Nancy's fear of getting sucked up into the sky (and falling back down). Also: bonked by a plane. Gripped by a psychic. Ghosted by an astrologer. Nancy's brother weighs in. Gravity: can it be trusted? Iron shoes. Carbon memory. Also big apologies to Michelle Branch and Vanessa Carlton, you are not one and the same.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

This week we're joined by the incomparable comedian, musician, Libra, MTL girl: Eve Parker Finley! We dive into her fear that everyone secretly hates her. Spoiler: impossible. Also discussed: Small Girl is a state of mind. Losing valedictorian in a rigged election. Eighth grade prop comedy. A safe space for comedians who don't need to prove themselves. The unstoppable urge to facilitate a workshop. All your best friends are annoying.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Letting a salesperson put blue mascara on you that god knows how many teens have touched? High risk, looow reward.

This week on the pod the delightful Alex P drops by to talk about her very well earned fear of going into Sephora and accidentally coming out with a full face of pink makeup! Also in this episode: slamming down on the toilet first thing in the morning. What kind of ghost would you be? An invitation to play. Sharing a wet wipe with a new friend. The eroticism of the optometrist. Clean brush, dirty, dirty tube.

Also, maybe the audio is a bit weird in this one. Maybe it'll be a bit weird in the next two episodes as well. It'll be normal again soon. We're just two little guys who are doing their best. Love ya.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Author and illustrator Arizona O’Neill drops by to tell us not to invite her to any more haunted houses, spooky settings or zombie zoos!
We talk about her forthcoming graphic novel, Opioids and Organs (Drawn & Quarterly), out May 19th, and dive into her fear of Halloween attraction actors, or as they're known in the business: "scare actors".

Also in this ep: Stop casting Jacob Elordi. When the actor senses your fear. Mary Shelley bedtime stories. I am Legend. Flight response. Don’t scare me. Our roles in the zombie apocalypse are: Leader, Fighter, Sepsis Lookout.

Follow Arizona:

@arizonaoneill

@oneillreads

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

This week on the pod: our friend Mara is afraid of living longer than she should and don't you dare get mad at her for that. We know you want to but please just let her explain! Just FYI this week includes lengthy but lighthearted chats about de*th. Skip it if you need to, we'll still love you.

Other topics include: slop for bots. Decomposing in a mushroom suit. The gall of inviting yourself to someone's wedding. Everyone at this table has OCD. Playing fast and loose with a life threatening nut allergy, and Nelly Furtado singing live at the funeral while a bouncer keeps out the riff raff.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Don don’t doff your headphones because we’re interrogating our first ever trapped nurse, Garrett! We get behind the wheel of Garrett’s fast and furious fear of CARS. Also in this ep: Tron brain. How realistic is The Pitt? If there’s a hole you can catheter it. Fecalizing. EMDR. Dodge Caravan. Gremlin. Emelia always smashes her way out of a Tesla. Nancy hates sepsis. The eyes don’t have feeling, and we don’t want anyone crick-cracking our necks. 

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Welcome to the Crone Gang! This week on the pod, Emelia's newfound and overwhelming fear of menopause. What is it? When does it start? How long does it last? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Topics include: getting ASMR from Glee. Building up the bones before it's too late. The sisters of the daughters of the mothers of the silent generation? Menopause Media. A one person show. Going to Spain with a gang of crones (complimentary) is the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunate Reddit deep dive. A Cosmo guide to not being boring in bed.

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

Buckle up cuties, we're a Sports Podcast now!

This week on the pod we're joined by the multi-talented and reluctant yet passionate sporting enthusiast Willow Cioppa to discuss their fear of getting way too into sports. It's not good for the brand! Topics include: the terror of a high diving board and our concern for the people who leap. Is Formula One comparable to driving to work in a Communauto? Nancy seems to think so. Driving barefoot is extremely sensual and difficult to regulate. The gateway to sports enjoyment might just be the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Raves are a sport. Do not enter the NFL Reddit Community. Someone help those boys, they can't stop bonking their heads!

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.

What do Susan Sontag, medical doctors and professional clowns have in common? They are all DEAD SERIOUS. Get "in nose" with us and dive into Nancy's deep-seated insecurity about not being A Serious Person. Wool! Unheated New York apartments! A single can of soup in the cupboard! A typewriter on the antique desk! Plus, updates on Nancy's microdent and Emelia's winter pant search. Enjoyeee!

Total Relaxation is a Hellgirl podcast.

Cover art: Ariana Sauder

Theme music: Voyeurism

✴︎ Instagram ✴︎

@totalrelaxationpod

@hellgirlproductions

© 2024 Nancy Webb and Emelia Hellman. All rights reserved.