"TOURING HISTORY" - MAY 13th  INTRO

LANE: Welcome back to "Touring History," because let’s be honest - you’re really procrastinating and this quick podcast is here to help! I'm Lane...

DAVE: And I'm Dave. We're here to help you waste time, talking about things from times long ago.  And who knows…maybe you’ll chuckle a few times…but no guarantees!

LANE: Today is May 13th, 2025, and as always, we're looking back at all the significant things that happened on this day throughout history. It's like having dinner with a really old relative who won't stop talking, and occasionally they say something  interesting.

DAVE: That's right, Lane. May 13th is quite the historical rollercoaster. Colonial settlements, religious apparitions, assassination attempts, and even some moldy burgers. This day's seen it all.

NOTABLE BIRTHDAYS - THE CLASSICS

LANE: Let's start with some notable birthdays. On May 13th, 1950, Stevie Wonder was born – musical genius, 25-time Grammy winner, and the only person who can wear sunglasses indoors without looking like a jerk.

DAVE: He wrote his first hit song at age 13. When I was 13, I was still struggling to write my name in cursive.

LANE: On this day in 1907, author Daphne du Maurier was born. She wrote "Rebecca" and "The Birds," which Alfred Hitchcock later made into films that terrified generations.

DAVE: She basically invented the psychological thriller, proving that the scariest monsters are the ones in our own heads. Unlike my Uncle Rick who still believes the scariest monsters are "government agents hiding in his shed."

LANE: And born on May 13th, 1961, Dennis Rodman – NBA legend, fashion pioneer, and unofficial ambassador to North Korea.

DAVE: The man won five NBA championships, dyed his hair more colors than a rainbow, and somehow became friends with Kim Jong-un. Talk about a unique résumé.

NOTABLE BIRTHDAYS - INTERNET STARS

LANE: May 13th is also birthday central for internet personalities. It's like the universe decided, "Let's make this the day for people who will eventually make money by recording themselves in their bedrooms."

DAVE: Starting with Twaimz, turning 29 today, known for comedy and music content on YouTube. His videos are like what would happen if your diary came to life and started singing.

LANE: We've also got Garrett Hilbert turning 37, one of the Dude Perfect crew. For those who don't know, Dude Perfect is a group of guys who got famous by throwing things into other things from really far away.

DAVE: When I throw things from far away, I get yelled at. When they do it, they get millions of subscribers. Life isn't fair.

LANE: The Harries twins, Jack and Finn, turn 31 today. They started as teenage heartthrobs and evolved into serious documentary filmmakers. That's like if Justin Bieber suddenly became Ken Burns.

DAVE: We've also got Alanzoka turning 34, a Brazilian gaming streamer who gets paid to scream at video games. My dad used to yell at the TV during football games for free – clearly, he was born too early.

LANE: Michael Mandell turns 37 today. He gives legal advice on TikTok as "Law By Mike." Nothing says "solid legal counsel" like getting it from a guy dancing on your phone.

DAVE: We've also got some younger creators – Rory Eliza turns 22, Azalea Carey hits 19, and fantasy VTuber Nyx_Oleander celebrates another year of... being an animated character, I guess?

LANE: The internet is weird, Dave.

DAVE: That it is, Lane. That it is.

COLONIAL HISTORY

LANE: On May 13th, 1607, English settlers established Jamestown, Virginia – the first permanent English settlement in North America.

DAVE: These brave pioneers traveled across the ocean to build a new life in an unknown land. And within a few years, most of them were dead from starvation, disease, or conflict.

LANE: Starting a colony was basically like playing Oregon Trail in real life, except with worse odds.

DAVE: They chose a swampy, mosquito-infested area surrounded by hostile forces. It's like they were actively trying to pick the worst real estate in America.

LANE: "This place has malaria, no clean water, and angry neighbors. Perfect! Let's build here!"

RELIGIOUS EVENTS

DAVE: On May 13th, 1917, three shepherd children reported seeing an apparition of the Virgin Mary in Fatima, Portugal. This would become one of the most famous Marian apparitions in Catholic history.

LANE: The children claimed the Virgin Mary appeared to them on the 13th of six consecutive months and revealed three secrets about the future.

DAVE: You know you're having a weird day when the mother of Jesus shows up at your workplace and starts telling you apocalyptic prophecies.

LANE: "I was just watching sheep, and now I'm responsible for divine messages. Great."

SPORTING HISTORY

DAVE: In racing history, May 13th, 1950, marked the first Formula One World Championship race, held at Silverstone Circuit in England.

LANE: This was the birth of what would become one of the most expensive sports in the world, where teams spend hundreds of millions of dollars to make cars go in circles really fast.

DAVE: The winner was Giuseppe Farina in an Alfa Romeo. Back then, drivers wore leather helmets that offered about as much protection as a nice hat.

LANE: Safety features included: none. Seatbelts? Optional. Fire-resistant clothing? What's that? These guys were basically daredevils with cool accents.

PAPAL HISTORY

DAVE: On May 13th, 1981, Pope John Paul II survived an assassination attempt in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican.

LANE: He was shot four times by Mehmet Ali Ağca but survived. The Pope later visited his would-be assassin in prison and forgave him.

DAVE: Imagine shooting someone and then they show up at your cell to say, "Hey, no hard feelings." That's either the ultimate power move or just really good Christianity.

LANE: Maybe both? The Pope credited the Virgin Mary with saving his life, noting that the assassination attempt occurred on the anniversary of the first apparition at Fatima.

DAVE: Makes you wonder if the Virgin Mary's been busy on other May 13ths throughout history.

PANDEMIC MILESTONES

LANE: In more recent history, on May 13th, 2020, Moderna announced promising early results from its COVID-19 vaccine trials, giving the world a glimmer of hope during the pandemic.

DAVE: Remember the pandemic? That thing that felt like it would never end, and then suddenly everyone decided it was over despite... you know... it not being over?

LANE: Good times. This vaccine news was huge, though. It was like seeing light at the end of a very long, mask-filled tunnel.

DAVE: And it came at a time when we were all discovering that we either love or hate baking sourdough bread. There was no in-between.

MARKETING MOMENTS

LANE: On May 13th, 2019, Burger King launched its "Moldy Whopper" campaign teaser, later praised for its bold anti-preservative stance.

DAVE: Ah yes, the ad campaign that thought showing rotten food would make people hungry. "Look how our burger rots – isn't that appetizing?"

LANE: It actually worked, though. They were celebrated for showing that their food was "real" and would decompose naturally, unlike their competitors.

DAVE: "Our food gets disgusting and inedible if you leave it out – buy it now!"

LANE: And on May 13th, 2013, Oreo won a Webby Award for their quick-thinking "Dunk in the Dark" tweet during the Super Bowl blackout.

DAVE: This was the tweet that launched a thousand social media marketing departments. Suddenly every brand was trying to be funny and relevant during live events.

LANE: Now we can't have a single national event without brands jumping in with their hot takes. "This presidential assassination would pair perfectly with an ice-cold Sprite!"

DAVE: It's time for a quick break. When we return, we'll cover more May 13th moments, including the first woman to scale Everest solo and a bombing on American soil by... American police.

LANE: Stay with us, history lovers!

SPONSOR BREAK

LANE: [ENTHUSIASTIC] History fans, let me tell you about my new obsession – the Ball Mason Jar Facebook community!

DAVE: [CURIOUS] Is that the group with all the fermenting recipes that made your kitchen smell like a science experiment gone wrong last month?

LANE: [PROUDLY] The very same! But Dave, that "science experiment" is now the most delicious sauerkraut you've ever tasted. It's like time travel in a jar!

DAVE: [IMPRESSED] You know, I was skeptical, but when my mother-in-law asked for your pickle recipe, I knew you were onto something. Those jars are basically magical.

LANE: The Ball Mason Jar community has over 100,000 members sharing ways to capture summer's bounty all year long. Imagine grabbing fresh tomato sauce in February that tastes like August sunshine!

DAVE: And the money you save! My grocery bill dropped by 30% after I started canning. Take that, inflation!

LANE: Plus, there's something deeply satisfying about looking at your pantry filled with colorful jars of food YOU preserved. It's like having edible Instagram filters!

DAVE: The Ball Mason Jar Facebook group – where your grandma's preservation techniques meet modern foodie culture. Your ancestors would be so proud... and possibly confused by Facebook.

RETURN & ADVENTURE HISTORY

LANE: And we're back with more May 13th history. On this day in 1995, Alison Hargreaves became the first woman to scale Mount Everest solo, without supplemental oxygen or support from a Sherpa team.

DAVE: This is basically the mountaineering equivalent of playing a video game on the hardest difficulty setting with one hand tied behind your back.

LANE: Hargreaves was already an accomplished climber before this achievement. Tragically, she died just three months later while descending from the summit of K2.

DAVE: She once said, "I climb for my children." She wanted to show them that ordinary people could do extraordinary things.

LANE: And she certainly did. Her son later became a renowned climber himself, following in her footsteps.

COLD WAR TENSIONS

DAVE: On May 13th, 1958, Vice President Richard Nixon's motorcade was attacked by protesters during a goodwill tour in Venezuela.

LANE: "Goodwill tour" turned into "get us the hell out of here tour" pretty quickly. An angry mob surrounded Nixon's car, spat on him, and nearly flipped the vehicle.

DAVE: Nixon and his wife Pat were evacuated safely, but it was a stark reminder of anti-American sentiment in parts of Latin America during the Cold War.

LANE: Nixon kept his cool throughout the ordeal, which probably helped prepare him for all the people who would hate him later as president.

TERRORISM & COUNTERTERRORISM

DAVE: On May 13th, 1972, terrorists hijacked Sabena Flight 571. The next day, Israeli commandos, including future prime ministers Ehud Barak and Benjamin Netanyahu, successfully rescued the hostages.

LANE: It's pretty wild that two future prime ministers were part of the same commando team. It's like if both Obama and Bush had been in the same Navy SEAL unit.

DAVE: The operation was called "Operation Isotope," and it became a model for future hostage rescues. The commandos disguised themselves as airplane mechanics to gain access to the plane.

LANE: "Hello, yes, we're here to fix your... uh... wing flaps. Don't mind our submachine guns, those are standard repair tools."

DOMESTIC TRAGEDY

DAVE: In one of the darkest moments in American police history, on May 13th, 1985, Philadelphia police dropped a bomb on a row house occupied by the MOVE organization, killing 11 people, including 5 children.

LANE: This is one of those stories that sounds like it couldn't possibly be true. American police bombed an American city? But it happened.

DAVE: The bomb started a fire that was allowed to burn, eventually destroying 61 homes and leaving 250 people homeless. It's a horrific chapter in American history that doesn't get discussed enough.

LANE: The city later paid millions in settlements, but nobody was ever criminally charged for the deaths. Sometimes history isn't just tragic – it's infuriating.

TECHNOLOGY & PRIVACY

DAVE: And finally, on May 13th, 2019, San Francisco became the first major U.S. city to ban the use of facial recognition technology by police and city agencies.

LANE: This was a landmark decision in the ongoing battle between privacy rights and surveillance technology. San Francisco basically said, "Maybe we shouldn't let the government scan and identify everyone's face all the time?"

DAVE: Revolutionary concept. The city that created much of our modern tech was also the first to put limits on it. It's like the person who invented the monster also bringing the pitchforks and torches.

LANE: Technology often moves faster than our ethical frameworks for using it. Sometimes we need to hit the pause button and ask if we should do something, not just if we can.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

DAVE: And that brings us to today, May 13th, 2025. Another day when things will happen that future history nerds will talk about while making questionable jokes.

LANE: Maybe one of those internet celebrities born today will do something that changes the world. Or maybe I'll finally clean out my refrigerator. Only time will tell which is more significant.

DAVE: I'm betting on the fridge cleaning. That's been pending since at least 2023.

LANE: That's all the time we have for today's tour through history. I'm Lane...

DAVE: And I'm Dave, reminding you that history is just us stumbling forward, occasionally looking back to see how far we've tripped.

LANE: Join us next time on "Touring History," where we'll continue to pretend we understand the complexities of human civilization!

BOTH: [SIMULTANEOUSLY] Goodbye, history lovers!

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