In this episode, Nick speaks with Peter Kolat, who grew up in Poland during the communist era. His family lived in a small room, and they never had much money. His parents divorced when he was 8, and his mom decided it was best if he & his sister stayed with their aunt and uncle in Poland, while she went to America to work and hopefully make a better life for them.

When it was time for his mother to leave, Peter begged his mom not to go, but she had to do what she needed to, so she left for America.

When Peter turned 14, his mom had earned enough money to buy a house in the United States and now wanted her children to move back with her.

Peter had friends, school, and dance that he didn’t want to give up, but he had no choice. Now Peter is grateful that he is here because of all the opportunities that live here.

Many times, people, or Peter himself, could claim that he was a poor Polish kid, but Peter used these impactful moments to choose who he was and what he did.

Peter is on a mission to help other people become and live their best selves.

About Peter Kolat,

Known as “Polish Peter” in the industry, is a transformational coach for Immigrant entrepreneurs and business owners. Because of his ability to speak into people’s lives and dive deep into what’s holding someone from being successful, he’s been referred to as the Polish Tony (ref: Tony Robbins) by his students.

Peter owns a successful national business development and coaching company, runs 2 transformational coaching masterminds & has worked with high 6 and 7-figure businesses in 16 different industries around the country.

His clients consistently return positive ROIs in their businesses.

Resources:

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Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”

00:00:08:08 – 00:00:27:17

Nick McGowan

Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.

00:00:32:06 – 00:00:35:21

Nick McGowan

Hey, Polish. Peter, welcome to the show, man. How are you doing?

00:00:36:08 – 00:00:41:13

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

I’m doing great. Well, thanks for having me. And I really appreciate you being on here on this particular podcast with you, man.

00:00:42:01 – 00:01:03:19

Nick McGowan

Yeah, absolutely. Look, I’m excited for you to be here. We connected, I don’t know, a couple of weeks ago, a month ago, something like that, through a friend who was on, I think one of the first ten episodes that I done, Adrian Smooth. So he was on and I know whoever Adrian puts me in contact with, I’m in for some weird fucking stories and great conversation with great people.

00:01:03:20 – 00:01:18:08

Nick McGowan

So I’m glad you’re here. But look, man, I got to be honest right off the bat, just saying to you, welcome, Polish, Peter, I’m going to sound like I feel like I’m being a dickhead and just calling you that. So I want to get that out of the way first for the audience who are like, Wow, this guy’s kind of a douche.

00:01:18:08 – 00:01:25:14

Nick McGowan

Bag me for calling you that. But that’s what people call you, right? Like, it’s that’s kind of the nickname industry wise, correct?

00:01:25:23 – 00:01:51:11

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Yeah, that is the nickname. That’s why I’ve been coming out of the industry and came out of something that was in one of the masterminds that was came out of it. As you probably know, I have an accent you can hear. I have an accent or gender component. I was born in Poland. I mean, the southernmost point in like middle of mountains left in the first seven years and, you know, 12 by 12 room and during the communist era in Poland.

00:01:51:11 – 00:02:24:08

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So it was a very small kind of a in the hotel room, kind of the whole that was our bedroom, our living room, our kitchenette off to the side, bathrooms were down the hallway, public restrooms kind of thing that we everybody used. So I came out of Poland, and so I’m pretty proud of my Polish heritage. At the same time, I am really grateful, lucky and blessed to be in this particular country because I know where I came from and when I get to do now in today’s world, it is help other people and help impact their lives too, for the betterment of themselves.

00:02:24:08 – 00:02:50:07

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

You know, because we all have stories, we all walk through stories. So the fact that I’m able to do this has helped me tremendously. Now, the story behind a Polish pillar is that I think about every single one of us has some kind of an identity that we’ve created for ourselves. Right. For me, it could have been this poor Polish kid from communist era and and kind of disempowering and things like that.

00:02:50:18 – 00:03:12:12

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So and it’s something that’s out of my control. Now, what happened out of this Polish pillar thing is that while my first name is Peter Polish Peter. And there was an identity tied into there that is within me that I have control over that nobody can take away from me. And that includes being empowering, being transformative. Being person was intentional and loving.

00:03:12:19 – 00:03:34:21

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So actually each letter stands for something and that’s what I created for myself. And that kind of became this name for, you know, around the industry. And that’s how people refer to me. But the point I’m making is there is an identity that every single one of us has and each one of you, the listener, I want you to create an identity for yourself that you have within your own control that nobody can take away from you.

00:03:35:12 – 00:03:45:14

Nick McGowan

Wow. Yeah, that’s a ton of tunnel layers to the one thing that somebody right off the top, if they just heard me call you, just polish. Peter probably asked, why the fuck did he say that?

00:03:45:21 – 00:03:47:14

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So now? Yeah. That’s awesome.

00:03:47:21 – 00:04:14:12

Nick McGowan

Yeah. Well, to also know that it’s not just about somebody tying your identity directly to you, but also something you’ve created and used an acronym to be able to actually strengthen it a bit. Because I think one of the things that we get into on this show often without talking directly about it, is the flavor that we bring to life and that we see through things the way that we see life and interact with life through the different lenses that we have, the identities that we have.

00:04:14:12 – 00:04:33:04

Nick McGowan

I often joke at times like I’m a little much because I was born in Philly that just that’s the joke. That’s not real. That’s not that’s not who I am. But it’s part of what some people believe me to be. So I’ll lean into those jokes in certain ways. And in those ways I know we can buy into those identities.

00:04:33:10 – 00:04:48:23

Nick McGowan

So it’s interesting how you not only bought into it, but you’re like, Fuck yeah, this is who I am and this is what this actually means. So I appreciate that you. Dove Right, right into that. In fact, I always start these episodes off with, tell us what you do for a living and you knock that off. So thank you.

00:04:49:00 – 00:04:56:04

Nick McGowan

The next one is going to be what’s that one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s maybe a little odd or bizarre. I know you got at least a couple of them.

00:04:57:00 – 00:05:16:22

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Well, it’s depending on the rating of the show, but I want to put this out there like this. So when I was a little back in Poland from the part of the country that I met, that’s a very traditional lot of you know, we have our own traditions and things like that. So I used to be in this traditional dance group.

00:05:16:22 – 00:05:42:13

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

I played violin in there and I dance like we travel across the country and then start doing like international festivals and things like that. So a lot of people here in the States don’t know that I got moves and those moves were works traditional back there. But I mean if you want to go look up on the Internet world, girl, that’s g0r, a, l and then look at dancing.

00:05:42:13 – 00:05:43:23

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

For that, you’ll see what I used to do.

00:05:44:12 – 00:05:50:03

Nick McGowan

Nice. Oh, man. So you can cut a rug or polish rug, I guess in that sense. Yeah.

00:05:50:04 – 00:05:53:19

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Oh, I appreciate that.

00:05:53:19 – 00:06:21:00

Nick McGowan

I mean, I almost, you know, I as soon as somebody says anything like that, it’s probably because I’m a very visual person. I start to picture the person doing those things. And in some ways I almost picture you like a Simpsons character, just kind of like cruising along and dancing. But that sounds like an epic bit of a story that you have where there are some people, I think growing up where they want to play other music and they get to travel around with their, you know, school or whatever.

00:06:21:00 – 00:06:40:05

Nick McGowan

And then there are some people that play sports and they get to travel around for sports is like travel league and, you know, advanced and all that sort of stuff. Some people don’t ever get to experience that sort of stuff. I never experience that really in grade school. But getting out of grade school, I toured as a musician and there’s a lot of life that happens within that.

00:06:40:14 – 00:06:49:08

Nick McGowan

So growing through that and I know that’s probably eons ago, but when you look back at it now, how do you think some of that shaped your life?

00:06:50:17 – 00:07:05:16

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Well, I mean, it gave me some discipline because, I mean, there are some discipline lines behind it, but you need to be able to do. I mean, there is a lot of stuff that we did in the dancing that requires physical. I mean, we did push ups. We had sit ups because a lot of the dancing involves that.

00:07:05:23 – 00:07:24:22

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So there is a discipline. There is there’s teamwork aspect of it because it’s you’re working with other people. Right. The other aspect is there is a part of the dancing where we’re just a couple and me as a man had to lead. So there was learning how to deal with other people, how to lead and things like that.

00:07:25:00 – 00:07:54:10

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

By looking at it, you can start looking how some of those aspects would play into what you end up doing in life. And it’s interesting that that part of my life, this was between the ages of about eight and 14 that I was doing the dancing. And now that I know what I know about human psychology, those are the years when you start to see and figure out your belief system and you start looking, why do I believe and what’s how do I start to fit in to life?

00:07:54:10 – 00:08:08:06

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Right this early teenage year you start to look at, okay, what do I fit in? How do I fit into this whole thing? Could we call life? So a lot of that ends up shaping how you start looking at life later on?

00:08:08:06 – 00:08:32:03

Nick McGowan

Yeah, that’s that’s why I brought that up. There’s a lot of life that happens within that period of time. And for you to go through such a process and be almost semiprofessional in that sort of way, it’s interesting. Instead of kind of going the opposite side of it. So let’s kind of tie into what you’re doing now, because back then, 8 to 14 years old, yes, there was a lot of stuff that happened.

00:08:32:03 – 00:08:53:04

Nick McGowan

But shit, even the next six years and ten years plus from that point, there’s a lot of stuff that happened. Talk to us about the journey getting from Poland and getting out of that tiny little place to what you’re doing now and kind of some of those key moments that happened along the way where you’re like, this shit need to happen this way to get me to where I’m at now.

00:08:54:08 – 00:09:20:05

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Yeah, that’s a great question because I believe now that I know what I know because I’m a I’m a transformative coach. So I hope people not only with their personal life, meaning their vision for their own life, but also their business, how do we create this business to support that life? Because most of the time what ends up happening for people is they are very clear, what somewhat clear and what they want their business to look like, what they want to do in order to have this financial freedom.

00:09:20:05 – 00:09:40:08

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

But they’re not very clear on what their financial freedom is and they end up doing the business that takes over their life. So that’s why I end up helping people, because a lot of that journey is what I went through. And on the personal side, I mean, communism was not a fun time for me as a kid and key moments happened for all of us.

00:09:40:21 – 00:10:00:17

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So when I talk about the key moments that happened in my life, I want you to listen first to start looking. What are the key moments for you that you had in your life that had some kind of an impact on you because those impactful moments is are the moments who are going to shape how you believe and how you look at life.

00:10:00:20 – 00:10:21:00

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Because we tend to make some kind of a choice, some kind of a decision during that particular time. So I’ll give you an example. One of my times during my life when I was 14 years old, because it’s kind of related to we just talk about my mom was already here in United States working and, you know, making money because my parents got divorced when I was eight.

00:10:21:09 – 00:10:42:06

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So I was at that time between eight and 14, I was living with my and my uncle and my life was pretty good at that particular time. Someone that’s had 14 years old, my mom comes to United to Poland for United States for vacation, while about a week and a half or so before she was coming back, here she sits, me and my sister down and she goes, Well, guess what, kids more like what you’re going through.

00:10:42:06 – 00:11:01:11

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Night stays with me. And I’m like, No, I’m not. She’s like, Well, yes, you are. Because, you know, I bought a house over there. I started, you know, life over there, and I want you guys with me. I’m like, Well, I want to go. My life is pretty good here, right? So I’m a 14 year old kid trying to figure out how do I fit in to this life right then.

00:11:01:16 – 00:11:24:15

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

That’s why the group comes in that I was dancing in and I have friends and all that kind of stuff. And so for about a week or so, we kind of argue about me going or not going. I’m not going, I’m going, I’m not going. I’m not going. Next thing I know, I’m on the plane. And the thing is, I made a decision now to make a kind of an interpretation of that.

00:11:25:00 – 00:11:49:18

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

That means that I don’t have a choice. I don’t have a voice. I don’t have anything to say. Right. Especially this is my mom, one of the most important people in my life. So if you can look at that, because it was pretty impactful for me, I remember this moment like, you know, there was another moment, for instance, like when I was eight years old, my mom, after they got divorced, she had to go to United States to make money.

00:11:50:03 – 00:12:08:18

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

And I was going to go live with my and my uncle. Well, what happens then? I go to the airport and I realize at the airport my eight year old kid imagine my eight year old self standing at the airport back then you can literally walk up to the gate where the planes were at. And I’m literally begging my mom not to go because it’s my mom, you know?

00:12:08:19 – 00:12:30:00

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

I mean, I finally realized that, like, hits me like, a ton of bricks, like, this is happening. Oh, my God, this is happening. So I go, please don’t go. She’s like, Why can’t I have to go? And I’m begging her again, right? So please don’t go. Please don’t go. Please don’t go. Next thing I know, she turns around and, you know, crying goes on and gets on the plane and I’m crying and make a decision again.

00:12:30:15 – 00:12:58:04

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

And I say, Well, can’t convince my mom, right? My mom trying to convince her to stay. She won’t stay. So those are the types of things that starts to shape our lives. War delayed. Iran has had an impact on me. Ironically, my first business was in marketing. Go figure one. You kind of have to, you know, in a way influence others to buy some kind of product or service, right?

00:12:58:17 – 00:13:12:09

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So because we tend to work from a lot of those kind of decisions back in life, hope that makes any sense to you because I think that is a lot what people are dealing with in their lives. Like why I do what I do.

00:13:12:22 – 00:13:35:01

Nick McGowan

Yeah, I, I think you, you drive it home pretty well because you lived it. You know, I often bring up on many of these episodes in a lot of conversations. I think a lot of the shit that has formed us to who we are now really comes from childhood, specifically trauma, something that happened. And trauma doesn’t always have to mean a really negative thing.

00:13:36:11 – 00:13:57:00

Nick McGowan

Even taking your mom leaving. Yes, that was traumatic. And in some ways some light. It’s negative, but it was also a a lot of positivity from that. She was stepping out. She was uncomfortable. She was doing these things that were selfless to be able to help you and make a different change in life and do a lot of that stuff.

00:13:57:07 – 00:14:16:13

Nick McGowan

However, you as an eight year old kid, see your mom leaving. So it’s always interesting to be able to look at those different layers and levels to it, and especially going back to it and looking at it almost like a wallflower or just being a third party and just going, Oh shit, you know, I can understand from both their perspectives and being able to unpack that stuff.

00:14:16:13 – 00:14:40:05

Nick McGowan

I think there’s a lot to it. You know, that’s one of the key things we talked about eight and 14. Those are two major moments where at least right around, you know, 6 to 8, 12 to 14, 15 ish or so that are a lot of shit happens that sometimes we just don’t go back through and process through because as we get into our thirties or 40 or fifties, there’s other shit, right?

00:14:40:06 – 00:14:55:01

Nick McGowan

You know, other things come up, you’ve got your own kids or you’ve got other things that you’ve got to go through and kind of deal with, let alone the bullshit that happened fucking years ago and the amount of times I’ve heard people say, Oh, well, that was years ago. Yeah, cool. I get that that shit is still fucking with you right now.

00:14:55:09 – 00:15:07:23

Nick McGowan

So when you think about and I kind of know that you’ve done some of this, when you think of the stuff that you’ve gone through and you look back at it and process through that, how did you go back and process through it without driving yourself mad?

00:15:09:07 – 00:15:30:20

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Well, I mean, that’s a good point, because here’s the thing. I do this with my own students. When we go and look at Neil mentioned about impactful moments and some of them are traumatic, some of them are not. We’re talking about impactful moments. Getting married is an impactful moment. It’s probably for most people when they’re standing up, they’re saying, I do as a good really, really, really good thing.

00:15:30:20 – 00:15:59:08

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Right. But there’s an impact. The moment we make choices, we make decisions in life and their shape, our we do stuff. So when we go back to those moments where there are, you know, positive or negative, being aware of them is super important because when you’re aware of it and you notice what decision you’ve made and that particular moment that that awareness alone can help you moving forward in life, I’ll give you an example.

00:16:00:09 – 00:16:20:20

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

When my oldest was eight years old, this was back in 2011. My wife came to me one night and I’m not going to go too much into the story. But she came to me and she said I wanted a divorce and it hit me like tunnel bricks. I mean, it was complete shock out of nowhere, kind of, I think.

00:16:21:06 – 00:16:43:05

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

I couldn’t believe it. And I went into the same conversation that I did when my mom was leaving, when she was eight, and when she, you know, came and when I was 14 and she was talking about taking us back to the United States, and ironically enough, when my parents got divorced, I was eight. And when I got divorced, my oldest was a coincidence, maybe.

00:16:43:08 – 00:17:06:19

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

I don’t know. But the problem is there was a pattern there. So being aware of that pattern was very powerful because now you can recognize and see, okay, so what kind of a person, what shape of that are some really good things about that? Because think about it this way. When those decisions that I’ve made has helped me tremendously, at the same time, it can have some negative impact on it.

00:17:06:19 – 00:17:29:11

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So being aware of it can tell you, well, next time probably begging is not going to work. It’s not a good thing either that but up to that point I wasn’t aware of it. That was just my go to kind of thing, right? So being aware of that has shaped me tremendously to be able to go, okay, how do I go and how do I level up?

00:17:30:00 – 00:17:55:17

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Who do I need to become to be able to be that impactful person that I need to be in relationships? So now that awareness allowed me to go and say, Who do I need to become as a person, as a way of being who I need to be as a person? Obviously, for me it had to be impactful, had to be focused, had to be intentional and not, you know, the begging kind of a person that makes sense.

00:17:56:14 – 00:18:18:03

Nick McGowan

Oh, yeah. Isn’t it interesting how when you have negative things that happen, you tie something to it? There’s an anchor situation, some some problem or whatever that comes up that’s huge. And you can either grow or you fall back from it. And I find it interesting how you see it as a leveling up, whatever works for you. You know, there are certain people that agree with that.

00:18:18:03 – 00:18:39:17

Nick McGowan

Like I kind of look at that to almost a linear thing, like you’re kind of growing. Other people choose to look at it differently and that’s fine. However you want to look at it, it’s it’s an evolution and a change, but it’s being aware of the shit that happened where it’s almost and it’s almost kind of silly because you think about it like if you were to put your hand on the stove and you go, Fuck, that’s pretty hot, that really hurts.

00:18:39:17 – 00:18:47:07

Nick McGowan

I don’t want to do it again. And you keep doing it. You would only do it a couple of times. You be like, All right, I’ve learned like in fact, most of us have stopped that.

00:18:47:11 – 00:18:48:06

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Some of us work.

00:18:48:06 – 00:19:10:18

Nick McGowan

Yeah, well, that’s all I’m saying, even on that actual scale, like, most people have stopped doing that. But then there are other things in life that we as people haven’t actually stopped doing those things for. And I appreciate that you bring up the awareness. I’ve brought it up many times that it’s about the awareness. If you’re not aware of a problem, how the fuck can you do anything about any of that problem if you have no idea what to do with it?

00:19:11:12 – 00:19:31:11

Nick McGowan

But then once you know, a lot of people get paralyzed and they start to freak themselves out or overthink that. So when you go through with your clients and walk them through that, like they’re there at the precipice of that thought and they’re about to lose their mind because you and I both know they’re stepping into the movie instead of watching the damn thing.

00:19:31:22 – 00:19:39:00

Nick McGowan

How do you hold them back from getting deep into it and watch the movie and learn from it and be aware of what’s actually going on?

00:19:40:05 – 00:19:59:20

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Well, one of the first few important conversations that happened during that process and one of the most important things that I when I do this with my clients, as I say to them at the beginning, listen, I am here for you and there is no judgment here. There is no gossip. There is it’s a safe place that we can have this conversation.

00:19:59:20 – 00:20:17:08

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

And because I don’t think I’m any better than anybody, I may be a Polish bidder and there has always been that’s it. And there was somebody else has, you know, good things, bad things. We all are walking stories. So I don’t believe that I’m any better. So who am I to judge somebody on what they should or shouldn’t do?

00:20:17:15 – 00:20:40:11

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Right. I went through a bunch of crap myself and that’s where I’m coming from. So when there is no judgment, when people are being vulnerable and being open and they’re able to kind of walk through that and know that the people on the other side who are listening are not judging them. They’re there to help them. And they know like they’ve been there like the lot.

00:20:40:16 – 00:21:05:21

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Crazily enough, a lot of the situations that my students have gone through or going through, I’ve been there myself now, why that is, I have no idea. But I’ve walked through a lot of this stuff. Like, for instance, someone is dealing with alcoholism. I had the impact with alcoholism because my dad was an alcoholic and I was living with the most important person in my life.

00:21:06:09 – 00:21:32:00

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Alcoholism took his life right? Divorce went toward myself, having no tough times, were almost living off and on my the river kind of thing. Been all those different places. So I there is an empathy that comes from my place. I try to always with my students to make sure that they recognize that. But I think that keep going back to this judgment is there is no judgment.

00:21:32:00 – 00:21:58:03

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

It is one of the most impactful things that you can do with anybody in your life. Because think about do you have kids or a spouse or significant other and they’re not telling you something or you feel they’re not telling you something like something’s going on. I want you to consider something that they feel judged by you, and that’s why they’re not telling you.

00:21:58:03 – 00:22:11:10

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

So there is no judgment. It might be a really good thing to be able to put that in conversations with people in your life and see what they end up telling you. Because we all have stories and we all have something going on.

00:22:11:10 – 00:22:37:15

Nick McGowan

Yeah, the the judgment free zone is definitely a beautiful zone to be in. And I know some people will look at kind of the circles I have, my immediate circle, I have the next level circle, etc. like that you kind of work through and that you allow to be open with a really, really enjoy the people. And I have enjoyed the conversation we’re having now and what we’ve had before because I enjoy the people that are genuinely open with that.

00:22:38:05 – 00:22:57:17

Nick McGowan

Like when they ask How were you? They actually give a shit. They’re asking because you genuinely care instead of just, Hey, there’s another human. I should probably ask them a thing because it’s a social thing to do. That’s not typically how most people want to operate, but a lot of people will operate that way because they’re shit internally.

00:22:57:23 – 00:23:17:11

Nick McGowan

And I think some of that also comes from the judgment that we have on our own selves. When you think about times where you’re fucking pissed, you have a terrible day or shit’s gone weird or whatever, you take it out on somebody you’re talking to or working with, you know, reality, you don’t mean it. And you, I’m sure you the spirit, you can catch it at times, but I’m sure there are other times you have to.

00:23:17:20 – 00:23:35:11

Nick McGowan

It happens a week later. You’re like, Fuck, I was such an asshole. I’m so sorry. But being aware of those things and the judgments that happen from it are huge. Now that judgment free zone I think should expand outside of that initial zone that we have. Same time we have a hard time.

00:23:36:08 – 00:24:03:09

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Now, let me add something I think this is important to mention. When there is a judgment, what ends up happening is people tend to operate from the place of Facebook. That makes any sense, right? You could go on Facebook. You see how a lot of people are sharing some, you know, triumphs they share like Lamborghinis kind of as opposed to what’s really going on because there was a whole bunch of judgment going on over there.

00:24:03:09 – 00:24:30:05

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Right. And what ends up happening when people are operating from that place, they try to fix and change themselves from that place. So in the way they’re changing or fixing something that is not real, that’s not authentic to them. Now, when there is no judgment and you can get real with yourself, you can get to the authentic self right here.

00:24:30:05 – 00:24:54:10

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

And you are who are you? Your self authentically. Just what you don’t have to change anything because there is no nothing broken about you. And I truly believe that with every single person I have a conversation. One I don’t think there anything wrong with anybody. There’s anything to fix there, anything broken about you. It’s just what ended up happening is over there is all the different things that happened for you.

00:24:54:10 – 00:25:15:23

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Like those things that happened when I was eight, when I was 14, when I was 20 some years old, when I was in my thirties with divorce and all that kind of stuff and just all this crap that got piled on top of us and we’ve been carrying it for over two years now. When we start having those kinds of conversation, when the no judgment, you start letting go of some of those things, putting them down, not have to caring them wrong.

00:25:15:23 – 00:25:38:13

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Guess what? You become your authentic self, you become a lot more free and you can actually operate in life and go after life as a true, authentic person to who you meant to be. And then guess what? Stuff starts to happen in your life. You start to shop or you start taking action because you’re not doing some fake work.

00:25:38:14 – 00:25:42:00

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Stop. You’re being the real, authentic self stuff. Does that make sense?

00:25:42:13 – 00:26:05:18

Nick McGowan

No, man, totally. And I think for the audience to understand that there’s there’s a time and a place to be able to bitch and complain about things or complain about things and talk about the real stuff that hurts. And there’s a way to be able to do it properly. And I know it’s easier for people to talk about the Lamborghinis and the big wins that they get, all the trips and all that stuff.

00:26:05:18 – 00:26:25:11

Nick McGowan

But they don’t talk about either the hard work or the sacrifice of the shit they’ve gone through. So even just getting off of Facebook, people having conversations with people that are part of their circles or people that are professionals that they can have conversations with overall, just being open and vulnerable is a key aspect of being able to understand.

00:26:25:12 – 00:26:42:07

Nick McGowan

Now, when you talk about authenticity and being the authentic you and doing those things, I find it interesting because I think a lot of people will look at why need to be that person. Like I need to be that person to be these things where and if you flip that and you be those things, you’ll be that person.

00:26:43:03 – 00:26:55:22

Nick McGowan

It’s just a matter of showing what you actually care about, doing the things that you care about, and more of that will come to you where it’s funny how we’re typically taught the opposite of that. Go after that thing, go be that thing instead of just being it is.

00:26:55:22 – 00:26:56:16

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

We already are.

00:26:57:06 – 00:26:58:12

Nick McGowan

Yeah, exactly.

00:26:58:14 – 00:26:59:15

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

If you really think about it.

00:26:59:20 – 00:27:05:09

Nick McGowan

Well, so with that, do you have anything else you’d like to add?

00:27:05:09 – 00:27:27:00

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

No, I’m just saying that because think about it. If you become your authentic self, you already are that particular person. And there’s just all that crap that’s been covering through, trying to do it through it that’s almost like operating in the fog. If you just put all this stuff down, that kind of dissipates and you can actually be clear on what you want you like to look like and what you want in doing business in life.

00:27:27:11 – 00:27:48:00

Nick McGowan

Yeah. Well, now you’ve brought up eight years old, 14 years old. When we think of those times, especially as an eight year old, most people as eight year old kids are so open and inquisitive and wandering about life like, what is this thing? I want to play out the side? Or I want to try this thing or try that or do whatever it is.

00:27:48:00 – 00:28:05:15

Nick McGowan

As we get older, we start to get calloused over that because people tell us no or people start to keep their own fucking shit affairs on us and be like, Oh, I can’t do it. So you can’t kid either. Fuck those adults that said that sort of stuff. They were just afraid. So being able to shape ourselves wasn’t able to happen for everybody.

00:28:06:03 – 00:28:23:06

Nick McGowan

So I think something that we’ve kind of talked about a bit on this so far, without really getting directly to it, was actually going back and working with that child yourself. Now have you gone back polished Peter and sat with eight year old you been like, Oh, this is tough. I fucking get it, but we’re going to be good.

00:28:24:02 – 00:28:44:03

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

How’s me? Because I’m in several masterminds and I was lucky enough to be in a mastermind where there is that open space, no judgment, vulnerability. Right. And that’s why I do right now with all my students, we have mastermind three times a year to be able to have that kind of conversation. And when you sit down with your you know, eight year old self, kind of think you get real with it.

00:28:44:14 – 00:29:08:06

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

And there was a lot of tears shed on my you know, I’ve cried. I like a little baby. I’ve had some, you know, really tough conversations because, you know, someone in the room told you, listen, stop being a people pleaser and like, oh, what are you talking about? People, please, I’m not a people pleaser. And then you start looking and start really diving into what that is.

00:29:08:06 – 00:29:30:23

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

And we’re like, Holy crap, I am a people pleaser and holy crap, that did cost me my marriage and holy crap, I wonder why my business hasn’t been operating the way I wanted to operate because I’m saying yes to everything and everybody and holy crap, this people pleaser is kind of got squirrels all over the place because I’m saying yes to this, this, this, this, this, and I thought, well, what would you know?

00:29:32:03 – 00:29:57:01

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Well, when you start getting real with yourself and that was just me. Different people have different reality, right? Some people need to like one of my students, for instance, he to the outside world comes in as an ahole, an asshole. And these the kind of guy that will go and tell you like it s kind of. But then if you really dig down deep, that’s not the person who really is.

00:29:57:01 – 00:30:23:06

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

He wants to protect. Protect his family, protect himself, his wife. He wants to he is a big kind of a really good, good guy. And when you start working, you know, in that regard, that real true self, all of a sudden that person starts to emerge and starts to go and take different actions. And now life starts to be a lot more fun, you know, I mean, and people I keep going back to that.

00:30:23:16 – 00:30:29:16

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

We’re all walking stories. Don’t judge the story. Don’t judge the book by the cover because you don’t know what’s underneath that.

00:30:31:04 – 00:30:39:12

Nick McGowan

Well, thank you for answering the next question, which is going to be what sort of advice would you give somebody on their path towards self-mastery? That sounds like that was it.

00:30:40:10 – 00:31:09:17

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Yeah. I mean, and B, just be open to being open with yourself. You know. I mean, and the other aspect is one of my goals that I have with all my students is getting to the point where you can, for the lack of a better word, love yourself. Because a lot of us think about the conversation that’s going on in your head, that conversation that’s going on in there.

00:31:09:17 – 00:31:36:07

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

You can be your best friend or you can be your worst nightmare, your biggest critic, your, you know, kind of our biggest bully. So my goal is to get you to half become your best friend, kind of, I think your biggest fan, your raving fan, because one that comes to that point and you love yourself for who you are, we are not listen, I’m not perfect.

00:31:36:11 – 00:32:05:06

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

We’re all not perfect, but we’re perfect. And in being imperfect, when you get to that point, all of a sudden you have the freedom to actually take action in life and doing things. So the advice is good. You know, stop judging yourself so much and start, you know, being more gentle on yourself. Give yourself some grace. We don’t typically give ourselves the grace because deep down inside, we’re can be our biggest critics.

00:32:05:06 – 00:32:17:04

Nick McGowan

Hmm. Great points. Hey, man, it’s been a pleasure to have you on. It’s always great to chat with you. I look forward to the next time we get to talk again, too. But hey, why don’t you share with us where people can find you, where they can connect with you?

00:32:18:08 – 00:32:41:12

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Well, first and foremost, I appreciate you having me on. And people can find me on Facebook. You can find me on Instagram. Just type in Polish below where you’re going to find it on Instagram. Polish official is my handle on Facebook Pinterest I’ve been Polish you find me under and if you want to have a conversation with me, I have a slap at four on two on Thursdays at 1 p.m. Eastern.

00:32:41:12 – 00:33:06:18

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

I have a slab that I typically open. If you want to have a conversation with me like this free session, you know, no obligation, nothing. Just having maybe I can help you in some shape or form. Head over to a one conversation, Wacom one number one conversational. Wacom And just follow the short form. So I know what you want to look for, what you’re looking to get, and we’ll jump on a short call and maybe I can help you in some way.

00:33:07:03 – 00:33:17:04

Nick McGowan

Absolutely, man. That’s awesome. And I highly encourage that. You jump on a phone call within even just 15, 20 minutes shot, things will open up. So again, Polish. Peter, always a pleasure, man. Thank you for your time.

00:33:17:17 – 00:33:18:03

Peter “Polish Peter” Kolat

Thank you.

00:33:19:14 – 00:33:42:18

Nick McGowan

Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. So what did you think of the show today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Check out the Instagram or Facebook page. Join the conversation. If you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe rate and leave a five star review. It helps us be found and helps others be healed.

00:33:42:18 – 00:34:03:09

Nick McGowan

If this episode opened your eyes, made you think or smile at all, then I’m sure it’ll do the same for your friends. Check out the show notes for more info from today’s episode and check out other episodes on the Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube and look up the mindset and self-mastery show.

00:34:04:01 – 00:34:21:09

Nick McGowan

Thanks again to our incredible guests for being real, honest and vulnerable with us today. I’d like to thank our sponsors and most importantly, I’d like to you thank you for hanging out with us today. Your support means the world to us. And with that, remember, your mindset matters and so do you.