Patrick Regan OBE is author of Sunday Times bestseller "Small Steps for Big Change", Director of Brighter Days, and a wellbeing advocate. Patrick shares meaningful experiences in his life that helped him understand how to manage overwhelm. He describes the importance of setting boundaries and living our values during today's ongoing changes. Patrick explains how self-awareness helps people take small steps, make intentional choices and lead differently. He advocates for compassionate leaders who emphasise human connection and psychological safety, while addressing systemic causes of burnout. Patrick highlights his practices of creating space and thinking differently.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
[01:10] Patrick's life is impacted when facing a school incident as a youth worker during his gap year.
[01:56] Patrick helps at the school and discovers how trauma and violence shape young people's lives.
[02:55] Trying to solve unfixable problems leads to Patrick absorbing others' pain.
[04:22] Comparing suffering can prevent people from recognising and addressing their own needs.
[05:12] Multiple family health crises compound Patrick's stress.
[06:04] Patrick has to face his own health crisis.
[07:21] Health is Patrick's Achilles heel; his knee pain fuels unresolved anxiety.
[08:02] Everyone bears the burden as Patrick wants to feel useful, but his capacity is limited.
[08:46] Embracing limitations is a sign of maturity that ultimately supports flourishing.
[09:58] Boundaries allow people to care for themselves and others at the same time.
[10:46] Caregivers can suffer "secondhand smoke" supporting someone through serious difficulties.
[11:31] Effective boundaries are personal, evolving, and shaped by individual needs and situations.
[13:23] Men's mental health requires more attention, conversation, and accepting vulnerability.
[14:51] Being courageous requires vulnerability to enable connection and recognise you're not alone.
[15:40] Suppressed emotions eventually surface, making human connection vital to deal with issues.
[18:10] Belonging matters more than fitting in, particularly when people need meaningful support.
[18:55] Regular check-ins with trusted friends create a valuable personal support network.
[18:47] Asking for "eight minutes" can signal an urgent need to feel heard and shift perspective.
[20:11] Honest conversations are important especially where role models are missing.
[21:08] Small changes reduce stress responses, enabling sustainable habits for long-term transformation.
[23:38] Compassionate leaders create psychological safety so people feel able to speak up and contribute.
[24:16] Patrick explains compassion as a fierce and courageous word.
[24:28] Wellbeing tools cannot change organizational cultures that burn people out.
[25:16] Questions for workplaces to address to improve culture, behaviours, and reduce burnout.
[27:29] Organizational values are meaningful when they actively guide decisions and daily actions.
[28:10] Patrick and his wife practice their belief that success is living up to your personal values.
[31:30] Different experiences shape values, confront biases, and deepen understanding of humanity.
[32:56] Listening to understand, not respond, helps people connect across different perspectives.
[35:12] Caring for others needs to coexist with self-compassion and managing the inner critic.
[37:00] Patrick comes up with "Start small, create space, think differently" when totally exhausted.
[38:23] Gratitude shifts attention toward good experiences without denying that difficulties exist.
[38:46] Creating mental space allows questioning of inner critique and listening to more constructive voices.
[39:17] Self-awareness is a fundamental characteristic of effective leadership.
[39:27] Power can be used with and for people rather than being exercised over them.
[41:53] Social media echo chambers weaken abilities to debate, disagree and understand other's views.
[43:39] Patrick seeks critical soft skills, valuing character and chemistry more than competence.
[44:00] Younger generations seek 'JOMO' (Joy of Missing Out) not sacrificing wellbeing and family.
[44:40] Connecting young people with their passions to unlock energy, creativity, and contribution.
[45:41] Creative problem-solving requires intentional space away from constant overwhelm and competing demands.
RESOURCES
Patrick Regan OBE on LinkedIn
Patrick's book "Small Steps for Big Change"
Patrick's book "Brighter Days"
Brighter Days website
QUOTES
"I think success is actually living true to your values."
"How do we use our power 'with' and our power 'for', rather than our power 'over', which is the traditional use of power."
"My favourite definition on boundaries is 'boundaries are how I love you and love me simultaneously."
"So you want to create that psychological safety within your organisation because that actually leads to more creativity and innovation and people feeling seen, valued and heard."
"Compassion? That's quite a weak word? Well, actually, it's a fierce word, it's a courageous word."
"Embracing your limitations is a sign of maturity. And actually helps you flourish ultimately."
"Let's think differently. Let's think creatively. For that, you need space."
