Transition State

Coaching is about achieving your goals— and that often (not always, but often) requires a certain amount of self-improvement. But my clients come to coaching already highly accomplished people— this is just their latest achievement in a line of many. So we always end our coaching sessions by placing this particular achievement in context.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

The stepping stone framework is from my biweekly newsletter, Science & the City. You can read it at www.kathy.science/stone.

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

If you think the problem is "I'm not doing enough," you will try to solve it by doing more. You will make decisions based on that solution, which will always be rewarded with more achievement— more praise, more promotions, more money. And if you're right about the problem, you will get what you want, and you will be happy.

But if you’re wrong about the problem, you’ll still try to solve it by doing more— but you will not be happy. Because you are solving a problem that you do not actually have. But even after you realize that solving the wrong problem is not helping you reach your goals, in fact it’s THE thing that’s stopping you from reaching your goals, you’ll still keep doing it out of habit. And in this session, Fede starts to recognize & break that habit.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

The framework on confidence & courage in the absence of proof is from my biweekly newsletter, Science & the City. You can read it at www.kathy.science/proof.

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

What is driving this highly accomplished woman to achieve more things to her own detriment? Her own department head said that if she checks all her boxes, and achieves all the things she is trying to achieve, she will end up in burnout. And even that didn't wake her up to the fact that more achievement does not always lead to more happiness? In this session, we try to answer that question by solving 3 kinds of problems: practical, psychological, and philosophical.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

Fede really needs to get a paper out, and we’re using every possible method under the sun to get that done— she has me for internal accountability, she has a conference in March for an external deadline, her technician is doing the experiments, she has it time-blocked on her calendar for her Golden Hour on Fridays, etc etc. But somehow she’s still convinced that she should write a grant at the same time. And I am not at all convinced about that— even though everything she says is extremely convincing. So in this session, we try to deal with that by determining what her strengths & weaknesses really are— as opposed to what she thinks they are.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

After the last session, Fede & I did an unrecorded session to discuss her personal problems. Which makes sense— she came to coaching because her dream job was ruining her personal life. So in this session, we first discuss whether she solved those problems & how she did it, before we can move on to how she's gonna get tenure. Because the secret to getting what you want is solving the right problems in the right order.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

Every client has one primary feeling that comes up again & again. For me it's fear, for one of my clients it's sadness, for another it's resentment, and for Fede it's guilt. She feels guilty about not doing enough—for her parents, for her partner, for her lab—when there's no reason for it. Her endless responsibilities are imposed on her by society & circumstance, not chosen by her for love & justice.

And that guilt is the root of the reason she holds herself, and therefore those around her, to such impossibly high standards. That one main feeling dictates her behavior & impedes her progress. But everyone is different, so figure out what that feeling is for you, and let it be your red flag to double-check your own actions & expectations.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

You can't control the world. You can plan your calendar to hilt, and you think that means you have time to do everything— but actually it means the opposite. If you're over-scheduled, by definition you won't have time to do everything you put on your calendar— because it doesn't account for problems you couldn't have foreseen due to circumstances beyond your control. And in this session, Fede & I figure out how to deal with that.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

After you get your dream job, there WILL come a point where your strengths become your weaknesses. Fede's directness is her strength, and it helped her get what she wanted in last week's negotiations. But now we have to figure out how to get the agreement in writing without backsliding BECAUSE of that same directness. Every strength is a double-edged sword— first it will help you get what you want, and then it will stop you from getting what you want.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

In every negotiation, you both want different things, and you are each trying to answer the question, "how much of what I want can I actually get?" Based on that, you can make a decision about whether to work together. Last week we decided what Fede wants, and in this session we discuss what her colleague wants. Then we use that to prepare Fede's counter-offer.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.

Negotiation is hard, especially when you're the newest hire. You don't have as much negotiating power as your senior colleagues, simply because you haven't had as much time to reach the same level of achievement. So in this session we discuss 1) how much negotiating power Fede actually has (versus how much she thinks she has), and 2) what she should use that power to ask for.

This 1:1 coaching session is part of Leadership Coaching for PIs, a scientific career coaching program that includes individual coaching, grant reviews, weekly feedback, and personalized training videos. Learn more at www.kathy.science/faculty. This recording was edited for time, clarity, and privacy.

RESOURCES:

Apply to work with me at www.kathy.science/coach.