Trauma has impacted my relationships with others throughout my entire life. From getting fired from multiple jobs to creating relationships with abusive people it has shook me to my core. After Molly’s death, it became even more difficult with the expectations of those around me. Through it all, I think about how I changed after losing Molly and how I keep getting stuck in unhealthy relationships.

 

Key Takeaways: 

[2:22] Getting fired from multiple jobs and struggling with my bosses 

[7:11] Struggling to focus, feeling unsafe, and not maintaining relationships  

[10:17] Getting stuck in relationships and finding boundaries a challenge 

[13:58] Living a parallel life and finding abusive partners 

[18:05] My friends have all gone through trauma 

[20:06] My need to control the relationships in my life

[21:56] A lifelong struggle with executive functioning 

[23:02] Hyper arousal causing an inability to prioritize 

[24:43] Physical movement and trying to feel something

[27:41] Relationships change when you go through trauma 

[29:52] My support system crumbled after Molly’s death 

[33:12] Physical touch is difficult and co-parenting with my ex 

[35:29] My family was so supportive after Molly’s death

[37:07] The reality of mortality and living in the moment 

[38:47] Not being able to comfort all my loved ones in grief 

[39:55] How grief affects marriage and often ends in divorce 

[42:46] Being there for my daughter in grief and the “old Barb” being gone

[45:11] CrossFit games, foot surgery, and going to Disney 

[49:14] Relationships with people who know the old vs. new Barb 

 

Resources from this episode:

• The Body Keeps the Score
• The Body Keeps the Score Workbook

 

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