There is no space for men’s pain. Society expects them to put on brave faces even when they are hurting inside. Men are taught to reject their feelings, and with it, the feminine. In the past, they were once warriors and providers who had to compartmentalize their emotions in order to succeed. But in modern times, men are no longer needed as defenders and breadwinners. Without a clear purpose, men feel lost and act out in harmful ways in order to fill the void. 

Instead of chiding men for bad behavior, Traver Boehm believes clear instructions are needed to help them move forward. He proposes a new paradigm of masculinity which combines the primal and the divine, the masculine and the feminine. Society needs to acknowledge the male collective wound. We need to ask men to turn inwards and deal with their thoughts and feelings.

In Traver’s UNcivilized program, men are initiated into a brotherhood by talking about the deep, scary part of themselves. It’s a safe space for them to open up, all the while invoking a sense of challenge that men crave. They learn to become whole by harnessing strength and cultivating kindness.  

Traver is the founder of the UNcivilized Men’s Movement. Through coaching and workshops, he gives men a new empowered paradigm with which to express their masculinity. He is the author of Today I Rise, and Man UNcivilized as well as a two time TEDx speaker and podcaster.

What we discuss:

03:15 - Traver's story of loss 

06:38 - The UNcivilized Man paradigm

11:55 - The masculine wound

21:03 - Initiation and brotherhood

29:33 - Men’s primal need to be challenged

34:57 - The fear of feelings

37:25 - Unrealistic expectations about intimacy 

51:23 - Integration of head and heart

58:46 - Turn sexual drive into creative force

1:06:39 - How can women support men's healing?

1:09:19 - What's the message of the Divine Mother to us?

 

Learn more from Traver: 

Website: www.manuncivilized.com

Instagram: @traverboehm