Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

 

Welcome to the TRC Remix Series #6. If you’re not sure what this series is click here for more info!

 

Are you single?

In need of a dating breakthrough?

Does it feel like there are no good single ones left?

Does it feel easy to see lack all around you?

 

But what if...you are the common denominator in all your dating or lack thereof experiences? What if you could actually be the one who’s blocking yourself from love? Certified Relationship Coach Jillian Turecki offers some profound insight on just this. Get ready from some hard + also super practical truths.

 

“Our entire experience of life boils down to relationships. From the intimacy we crave with a partner to the success we achieve through our work. None of it is possible without understanding our own psychology and the psychology of those we relate to. We never learned this at school, but it is learnable.” - Jillian Turecki

 

What does it mean to be blocked from love?

• Your psychology determines your energy and how you show up in your life.

 

• “Just because you really want something, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s coming to you as quickly as you would like it to come.”

 

•  When we’re in a desperate place we’re blocking ourselves.

 

5 ways to identify if you’re blocking yourself from love:

1. Fear.
2. Hopeless.
3. Anxiety
4. Despair
5. Obsession

 

How our beliefs impact our ability to attract love:

 

• “Whatever we believe, we’ll see evidence of it everywhere.”

 

• You have the ability to challenge your beliefs: 
• • Is this really true? 
  • Is it possible you could be wrong?
• We don’t do anything that doesn’t have a side benefit. 
• Ask yourself these 2 questions: 

1. What’s the reward you’re getting for these beliefs? 
2. Why are you trying to keep yourself safe + protected?

 

A Roadmap to Clear the Way for Love: 6 Practical things you can do today.

1. Identify the beliefs that are holding you back.
2. Break free from the addiction of surrounding yourself with people with the same limiting beliefs. Talk to people who don’t share those beliefs about love and are able to offer you a different perspective.
3. Identify the experiences in your life that have led you here.
4. Ask yourself: Is your perspective freeing you or choking you?
5. Self-worth: When we obsess over love, it’s because deep down we doubt we’re worthy of it.
6. Enough-ness: Where are your fears of not being enough getting in your way?

 

#1 thing you can do to unblock love:

• Learn how to be secure in your worth and make yourself happy as opposed to waiting for someone to make you happy:
• • Marriage is not the be all end all.
  • Mixed Messages: if someone is uncertain about you—there have to be boundaries.

 

• “If a guy likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.”

 

 

How buying into the myth of the ‘independent woman’ could be keeping you from love:

• Are you independent, codependent, or interdependent?
• • Codependence: I can’t be happy unless you’re happy. I don’t know what my needs are. I can’t focus on my life because I’m only focusing on yours.
  • Independence: I don’t need anyone. If I’m vulnerable I’m weak.
  • Interdependence: I love you, but I don’t need you to make me happy.

 

Healing is possible! Remember you have the permission to rewrite your story at any moment!

 

Resources:

• Check out Jillian’s website here, where you can join her Conscious Woman Membership.
• Follow Jillian on Instagram at @jillianturecki
• Have any questions for Jillian? Reach out to her here! Or email her at [email protected].

 

I’m an avid reader and always have at least 3 books going at once. Anyone else love getting lost in a good fiction book? I just got a new book I’m super excited about called The Lost and Found Bookshop by Susan Wiggs. This NYT Bestseller now in paperback is the perfect feel-good summer read for a beach read or your book club. Grab your copy anywhere books are sold or find more at SusanWiggs.com.

 

I have become very invested in taking care of my skin— I just wish I had started earlier! Swedish skincare company Foreo strives to turn daily routines into vibrant rituals and celebrate aging gracefully. They bundled their most popular products into a bundle that is sold exclusively on Amazon. Go to Amazon.com and use coupon code REFINEDC50 to grab the set for $199 (it is valued at over $300!)

 

Finding a bra that fits, is comfortable, and cute or sexy… it feels impossible. I recently had an enjoyable bra shopping experience with the female-founded and led company Natori. They have everything from size A to G. Go to Natori.com and apply the code REFINED at checkout for 15% off at checkout. Be sure to use the hashtag #MyNatori on social media.

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