Miles can't stand the people in the other booth, while Bob hears his wife say something he never expected. Subscribe Random show from the last 25+ years Random Post https://youtube.com/live/nD1gt6ia0ns Bad AI Transcript of the show this week Butthole. What's my butthole? What's your butthole? Oh my gosh. What are you talking about? I mean my button. My button. Not the buttons. Not the… Oh my gosh. Hold on a sec. I did a… I did a restart of… My balls. Balls. of my computer, and now everything's messed up, so I have to reset everything. Yeah. Okay. All right. So you got to give me a second. Bobby's an old man. I said give me a moment. Hey, Bob, why did the sperm cross the road? Did you get to the other side? No, because Bob put on the wrong pair of socks again. What are you talking about? Okay, now it's working. It's working. Now it's working. Yeah, that's lame. No, I heard it. I thought it was fine.
Oh. prepare to be triggered hey everyone this is miles prepare is that your uh new merchandise my prepare to be triggered shirt yeah that's our new 2026 phrase here on static so prepare to be triggered. Yeah, okay. I'll go with it sure i don't know I thought of it just now. Sorry, I did an update on this computer and it knocked everything out of whack, so I had to keep fixing everything tonight. Sounds weird. I'm sorry. Whatever. Oh, my goodness. Are you okay over there? Are you drinking something? What are you doing? I'm drinking the plastic particles in this bottle here. That's something I'm glad you mentioned that. Get it out. Come on, stuttering Sam. Get it out. Never have we heard of microplastics until now, right? Yeah.
It's like microplastics didn't exist and then now they exist all of a sudden. Everything's got microplastics in it. Microplastic, microplastic, microplastic. It's like they've been there the whole time if they've been there. Yeah. Now everybody's like all microplastic. Oh, drinking a bottle of water has got microplastics in it. It's like kids being allergic to nuts. I never heard that. Never heard that. It's not an epidemic. I'm like, what the hell? I never witnessed a child dying from eating peanuts. I mean, I'm sorry if your child has that. I'm sorry, but I'm just saying I've never heard that as a kid. And I was like, geez. Yeah, I think we just invent these things to keep everybody in line, on edge. Although there were some kids that disappeared now that I think about it growing up. Anyway. Because you lived in Gacy's neighborhood.
close to it. There are a lot of kids disappeared mm-hmm oh my good well anyway let's change the micro plastic thing kind of set me up because all right. Yeah. I'm sorry. what you see triggered triggered say so something happened this weekend that I thought I would never witness Oh, boy. That's so many. Wow. I don't even know how to begin. My wife, she's talking to me. She's like, hey, I heard about this new pizza place. We should go. I'm like, yeah, we should go. I love pizza. We talked about it for weeks, I think. I can't remember now, but Anyway, she's like, well, we're going to go on Saturday. I'm like, great. We'll go on Saturday. Fantastic. I love it. So we get there. Yeah, we get there, and it's kind of a sports bar slash pizza place slash everything kind of place. Nudie bar. Nudie bar. Yeah. It's got everything. Slot machines. Darts. Darts. Axe throwing.
Oh, that'd be awesome. No, it didn't have all that. Anyway, so we get a seat and we're close to the bar, the regular bar there. They had seating kind of in another area, but it was like windows, right? And it's really cold here now. Oh, yeah. We didn't want to be by the windows. And so we're sitting there and these… guys show up and they're standing at the bar, which is not that far away, right? So it was like, we're right in the table area, but close to the bar. And I couldn't believe it, but somebody was at the bar cussing so much that it upset my wife. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is made up. This is a made up story. This is a
fake story. I can no it's not it's true i it's why i couldn't believe it. Your wife talks so dirty. So dirty. Yeah. And the funny thing was, I think the last time i saw her, I think she said, suck my dick. You know i mean she's like she's dirty very dirty so uh we're sitting there and she's, you know, these guys are fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck You know, it was like talking to Clark and Green Hat. What was his name? Neon Green Hat guy. Oh, O'Connor. Yeah. O'Connor. Yeah. O'Connor. Crazy guys. Yeah. And so there's constantly and my wife is like, you know, making these faces like, oh, my gosh, you know, I'm like, I'm like, what? You know, I'm like, this is like
dinner table talk i'm hearing over here, right? Didn't your wife curse out a bunch of tourists over in france or something? Didn't she kind of like Yeah, we were in Switzerland. You dumb bastards. Get out of the way my way. Oh, you're right. We were at versailles and then we were also in Switzerland. I can't see the Matterhorn. God damn it. That's right. Your wife says god damn it a lot yeah yeah so yeah so i was like, really? You know? I couldn't believe it. I was laughing and she was getting aggravated with me because I was thinking, this is so out of the realm, right? I really wish we didn't sit so close to the bar. Those guys were being rude. I'm like, you didn't sound any different than you.
You're right. Yeah, you're right. I think you have not witnessed this. I was going to call you a liar, but you might be right. But the whole time we were eating, it was funny. And then we're eating, and she keeps looking over at him and kind of giving him kind of a dirty look. And I'm like, what prude is this that I'm having dinner with, is what I was thinking. Is it all religious or something? No, not at all. She still curses like crazy. Yeah. but I guess it was bothering her because she goes, and so then when we're, we left and I'm like, you know, I can't believe you got so upset with these people cursing at the bar, you know, these are your people. Yeah. You're related to these people, obviously. And she's like, no, it wasn't just the cursing. They were so goddamn loud. They're just fucking so loud. Yeah.
Wait, was it the cursing or the volume then? It was the volume. Oh, okay. So everyone could hear F this, F you. It's like there were kids there. I wouldn't cuss in front of all those children. Oh, come on. It was so goddamn loud. I couldn't. I'm like, oh, okay. I was misinterpreting. I thought it was just the cursing. She's like, a little bit. i call bullshit. I call bullshit on this one. Like they were yelling, they're drunk and yelling. And she's like, and what fucking pisses me off even more as they left when we did, I wish i would have fucking left a half an hour before. Oh God. Nice. Yeah. I was like, anyway, I was just like wow really well we haven't uh we haven't had that experience in a while. Yeah. Right. honey
Ever, as a matter of fact. Would you get all Karen'd up for there for a minute? I didn't know what was going on. See, triggered. Triggered. See, I called it. The Nostradamus called it. Are your teams still in the running for the Super Bowl? Oh, I mean, I'm sad that my team lost, but by the way, changing gears here, yes, the two top teams are still in it. Yeah. seahawks is one, right? Yeah, and Broncos. I said those two would go oh yeah i think i said the uh denver wins i think i had to look it up. I don't know i think so. So, in that in that sense i'm kind of glad i lost, but in a way, I'm sad, too. Yeah, I know. I just found out that the bears lost at dinner tonight because we were talking about it so oh okay yeah i didn't know. I had no idea. I was informed.
I was actually asking about the pizza deals. I'm like, when is this Super Bowl happening? Because there's all these good pizza deals that maybe I can get on. We better get a fucking good pizza deal. That's all I can fucking think. But to finish up real quick, the guys annoyed her and then the pizza wasn't that great. So she heard it was really good and then it turned out to be just, it was okay. It wasn't great. Hey, welcome to Five Fucking Guys Pizza. Exactly. So she was a little disappointed with the food as well. I thought it was fine. She's like, yeah, but it wasn't. She's like, I hate going out to eat when it's just fine. I want to go out to eat and get something great. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I go, well, sorry, hon. Most poopy pants. Most poopy pants. Well, we have certain places that we go, Miles, that are very consistent and very good.
Yes, your Russian tea room that you love where you check out the male waiters. Yes, you like going there. Didn't you have a story once you went somewhere like, I was admiring the pretty waiter we had. I'm sure that I said that at some point. Yes. I don't think we go there that often. Wasn't it some Russian place or some weird ethnic thing or something? Could have been. i don't recall off top of my head. The Serbian restaurant you love going to or something? I don't know serbs love the Serbs. You love this sir you love everybody. You don't care. I know. That's true. You're cursing people. You love them i well i wasn't i wasn't overly thrilled by it either, but i didn't, you know, I'm like, whatever. Yeah. If you're gonna go to a pizza bar, what are you gonna get you know yeah
guess. So I'm triggered. Triggered. What's going on with you? Boy, now you say that, I was just remembering back something that just happened to me. Do I go with the restaurant story? Is this going to be about the male waiters? Yeah. Apparently, yeah. No, I don't know. He had the biggest bulge and his pants were so tight I'm going to give you a gentleman's choice here. We're going to go with either bald eagle day slash eating at a restaurant or yet another story ab