Trinity Evangel Church

There's no coincidence that these applications for living sacrifices in Romans 12:9-21 are the Ancient Jealousable Ways. I keep puling jealousable forward from Romans 11 where Paul talked about God’s blessings to believers that provoke the right kind of jealousy in order to provoke repentance and faith in Jesus as Christ — risen from the dead, Lord of heaven and earth. God gives His people the blessings of salvation, and as living sacrifices, God gives His people the blessings of suffering, even unjustly. These are ancient jealousable ways, these are the ways of Jesus.

In the most well-known sermon in history Jesus said that the persecuted are *blessed*. He said that when others revile and persecute and lie about us for the good we do, we are *blessed* and we ought to rejoice and be glad for our greater reward is coming (Matthew 5:10-12). Living sacrifices are transformed into *perfection* like their heavenly Father as they love their enemies and pray for their persecutors (Matthew 5:38-48). These Jesus-taught, blessed-as-jealousable, ways make us the salt of the earth and the light of the world.

These are the marks of those *not* conformed to the world, the customs of altar living. If we've seen altar commitments and altar perspectives, we could call these final exhortations altar *perfection*.

As with the whole chapter of application for altar living, verses 17-21 continue tempting translators to make things less confusing by turning modifying ideas into main ideas, translating participles as commands (16 total verbs, 9 commands in the ESV, but only 5 imperatives in the original language). Again, do all the things. But here's a way to read it while recognizing primary commands and secondary clarifications.

> *Repaying* no one evil for evil

> *giving thought* to what is honorable in the sight of all

> if possible, so far as depends on you,

> *living peaceably* with all men,

> *never avenging* yourselves, beloved,

> **give place** to the wrath of God,

> for it is written:

> “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

> On the contrary,

> if your enemy is hungry,

> **feed** him;

> if he is thirsty,

> **give drink** to him,

> for by so *doing* you will heap burning coals on his head.

> **Do not be overcome** by evil,

> but **overcome** evil with good.

>

Three more additions to the previous six: Defer Peaceably (17-19), Supply Knowingly (20), and Conquer Honorably (21).

# Defer Peaceably (verses 17-19)

The *one* imperative is to make room for God's wrath. All the other parts help us see how to think and act toward those that are making life miserable.

> *Repaying* no one evil for evil,

> *giving thought* to what is honorable

> in the sight of all;

> if possible, so far as depends on you,

> *living peaceably* with all men;

> *never avenging* yourselves, beloved,

> **give place** to the wrath of God,

> for it is written:

> “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

This is not a *denial* or *redefinition* of **evil**. Evil has been done, wrong has been committed, an injustice has taken place. The legal principle of *lex talionis* is the "eye-for-an-eye" proscription, comes from God's law (Exodus 21:24; Leviticus 24:20, Deuteronomy 19:21)). Jesus said He came not to abolish the law, but He said, "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also" (Matthew 5:38-39). This is *personal* humiliation and harassment, any challenge to our self-absorbed attitudes.

Paul says that we should retaliate *not* by **repaying evil for evil** but by **giving thought** about what we could do that considered beautiful, **honorable** in the eyes of others (actually the same word as “good” in verse 21). To give thought has the idea of thinking beforehand, of planning, ways to make an good show while we've been treated wrongly.

We understand that there are conditions/persons for which no amount of planning on our part will accomplish immediate—and possibly even for delayed—benefit, but our goal is to be **living peaceably**. So far as depends on you; it is not always possible, sometimes they just aren’t listening. You eliminate the offenses you can. You put your Blood Avenger cape back in the box. You be the wet lump of bread dough to their lit match.

Again a tension, per Jesus’ purpose (Matthew 10:34). We want peace, but not by giving away the house so to speak, by agreeing with heresy, by accepting lies, by redefining evil. We ought not “to flatter the vices of men for the sake of preserving peace” (John Calvin). But even that will be a sacrifice to sacrifice peace.

This requires faith; there’s no need for frustration that real wrongs will go unpunished. Every sin will be accounted for; either Christ died to take the punishment for it or God will bring punishment onto the person himself for it. But no evils, no sins are missed. But we are not Judge and jury.

Paul throws in a **beloved** here, a term of sympathy, and theology; these sufferers are God's sons (think Romans 8:15-17).

The explicit imperative is **leave it to** or "give place" to God's **wrath**. Then Paul quotes the law from Deuteronomy 32:35. The Lord makes the vow that vengeance is *His* and that He will take care of it. Defer is not only a time issue, but an agent issue. We defer to God. Besides, for whatever scheming we think we could inflict for pain, we ourselves have an eye-dropper of vengeance compared to the flood of God's wrath.

Again, this is personal. There is tension, and ours is an age of tension-hating if there ever was one. Imprecatory Psalms (such as Psalm 94) did not even contradict the Mosaic Law in the same Old Covenant, nor did Jesus abolish our hope and prayers for justice. But we are never more worldly than when our feelings demand that someone else feel bad for causing our bad feelings. We are never more without faith than when we want pain for another person immediately and brought about by our own moves.

Authorities in their spheres (e.g., Romans 13:3-4) *must* not ignore injustice, while individuals also look to the ultimate Authority.

# Supply Knowingly (verse 20)

There are two conditions followed by two commands, following the imperative we just read to give place to the wrath of God. Here is hospitable wisdom from Proverbs 25:21-22.

> On the contrary,

> if your enemy is hungry,

> **feed** him;

> if he is thirsty,

> **give drink** to him,

> for by so *doing* you will heap burning coals on his head.

This is “practical generosity” (Murray), in a way unreasonable hospitality, as in exceptional, but also reasonable, as in there is a reason built in.

Note the **enemy** (ἐχθρός), which means Christians *have enemies*, not that we hate them but we can tell that they are hostile toward us. And, really, if we cannot notice an enemy then we cannot obey God's command how to treat them.

This is also *personal*. This is not instruction for generals in a war, this is not instructions for fathers with an intruder into their house. But it is personal, and none closer than someone face-to-face to whom you could actually give bread and water/wine.

The built-in reason has been variously understood. Most of the commentators I read seem pressured to avoid it being a negative. They want it to be related to an old Egyptian practice where hot coals were a sign of contrition and repentance, so that our feeding causes a good guilt in the enemy so that the enemy becomes a friend.

But **heaping burning coals on the head** is constantly used in the Old Testament as a sign of judgment. More than that, we have a great help already in Romans 2:4-5. God's own kindness is meant to lead others to repentance, for sure, but as He pours out kindness, if they do not repent, they are heaping up wrath for themselves on the day of wrath. For the Christian, this kind of kindness is win-win. If the kindness causes softening, win. If the kindness causes hardening, we cannot be an excuse in the enemy's mouth when answering to God.

We supply knowingly: knowing the enemy, knowing his need, and knowing the outcome.

# Conquer Honorably (verse 21)

This is a potent and poignant rally point.

> **Do not be overcome** by evil,

> but **overcome** evil with good.

>

Twice we see **overcome**, two uses of the verb *nikao* meaning victorying or triumphing or *conquering*. The first use is an imperative in the passive voice, meaning don't let this happen to you by something else. The second use is an imperative in the active voice, that includes an instrument, or better, a *weapon*. Go, (fight), win. Our weapon is **good**.

The human way is to get even. The perfect way is to get good.

# Conclusion

Don't hold back obedience to the Lord, and also, wait for the Lord to not hold back. These are imperatives for the altar life, for the way we look at the world, for the way we look at winning. Win-Win-Win: blessed and jealousable ways.

> “The essence of ungodliness is that we presume to take the place of God, to take everything into our own hands.” —John Murray

Alter perfection is deferred retaliation for the win. You’ve got to do gooder than the ungodly: “be perfect, as your Heavenly Father is perfect.”

----------

## Charge

Beloved, leave what is God’s to God. Live on the altar as a sacrifice for God. Defer retaliation to God for the win. Win over evil with good. May God bless your zeal for good.

## Benediction:

> Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4, ESV)

We’re back for more altar commitments, as in, more of what life as a living sacrifice looks like. A bunch of this applies to body life; if the individual members of the body used their gifts for the body and then treated one another according to these “one anothers” in verses 9-21, we’d be built up and blessed. Paul gives us more of the Ancient Jealousable Ways, and verses 14-16 are particularly outside the world’s pattern.

These are commitments for what living sacrifices look like, but also altar perspectives, how living sacrifices look. These perspectives put our self-absorbed attitudes up on the altar to die.

For the first time we hit actual imperatives in the original text. Verse 14 alone has three of them, and there’s another one that finishes verse 16. But, as in verses 9-13, there are some secondary verbs that should be taken as modifiers, which hardly any of the typical English translations recognize. I’d propose this way of reading the passage:

Bless the ones persecuting you;

We’ve considered in verses 9-13 the requirements to Love Discriminately, Honor Surpassingly, and Christian Zealously, and there are three more in these verses. There’s plenty to make your teeth hurt so good, like biting into orange juice concentrate.

Don’t fake love, don’t phone in serving the Lord, be helpful to those with needs, so said verses 9-13. While that actually can be challenging enough, verse 14 takes the challenge up to another level. In fact, obedience here it requires seeing beyond the field immediately in front of you.

Bless those who persecute you;

To bless has obvious verbal implications. First, it’s built into the word; eulogeo is from eu meaning good/well and logeo meaning speak, so “good wording” or “speaking well,” so our word eulogy means a speech of praise. Second, it’s contrasted with cursing (and with reviling elsewhere), which is also primarily associated with words.

But blessing others in the Bible is more than a spoken formula, it includes the desire for the other person to receive good - beyond what the situation calls for. For Christians, when we bless someone else, we want God’s special favor to be given. We bless our kids, we bless our friends, we want God to give them good. Here we are commanded to bless our hostiles, “the ones persecuting you.” This is a substantival participle, characterizing the ones who harass, pressure, and attack. Bless them.

Remember that this is the first explicit command since verse 9, and it is immediately repeated and followed with a prohibition. To curse is more than to complain, though it includes that. It’s to desire the harm and/or misery of someone else, invoking supernatural power to bring about the pain. You almost always have a reason to get back at them. Be careful little mouth what you say. There’s much more about this in verses 17-21.

Since we’ve got more than Romans, I think this is encouraging:

Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9 ESV)

It is the Christian’s calling to do the contrary than be conformed to the world’s ways so that we may obtain a blessing. That requires faith, a transcendent perspective and trust in the “faithful Creator” who works suffering for good while we’re doing good (see 1 Peter 4:19).

Jesus taught that it is no big deal to love those who love you; loving lovers is the natural, worldly way (Matthew 5:44, 46). What if the ones persecuting you are the government? What if they are a business—that you paid for—with shoddy products/service? The primary context is interpersonal, but if your reactions are as self-absorbed as the world’s, then don’t expect to obtain great blessing yourself.

There is no explicit command in verse 15, but two parallel phrases that start with infinitives. Rather than understand the command “be (something)” as in the previous verses, here something such as “seek” or “pursue” works better.

[Seek] to rejoice with those who rejoice,

There are “rejoicers” and there are “weepers.” To the Corinthians Paul had them connected within the church body:

If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. (1 Corinthians 12:26 ESV)

In the previous verse we wouldn’t think of persecutors as being brothers in Christ, but we’re also not supposed to think the same thing as non-Christians like in the following verse. We can at least say that this verse applies to rejoicers/weepers we worship with, and yet there are ways that we can relate even to unbelievers.

It is mean to delight in another person’s loss, but it is a different challenge to celebrate with their victories. The temptations to envy are legion compared to the temptations to being aloof.

This is good, old-fashioned sympathy, shared pathos, understanding between people and having a common feeling. So compassion represents a suffering with, a concern for the pains of others. It’s mutually exclusive with self-absorbed attitudes.

There is discrimination involved. If the other person is weeping that his adultery didn’t work out, you should rejoice in that. If she is weep-cursing her neighbor, don’t have a good gripe-session. Give the benefit of the doubt, and also don’t believe everything they say, at least not right away. Don’t complain with those who complain-weep, and for that matter, don’t immediately criticize those who weep as complainers.

Don’t sing songs to a troubled heart (Proverbs 25:20), and also, don’t curse those who are trying to help, even if clumsily.

There is an explicit imperative in verse 16, but comes at the end. Three participles (the verbs ending in -ing) before it prepare the way.

Thinking the same toward one another,

The first phrase is turned into a command differently by some good translations: “Live in harmony with one another” (ESV) or “Be of the same mind toward one another” (NASB), but it could be “the same thing unto one another thinking.” The nuance of this word for thinking might be about carefully considering your opinion about a thing (BAGD). As it modifies the imperative coming at the end of the verse, it means that this is required, and so a kind of shared thinking is to be pursued. You can try it, make progress toward it. Harmony requires adjustments on your part.

The same participle for thinking is used in the second phrase, with a negative for being “high,” and so figuratively referring to what is haughty, proud. This is apparently a big deal to Paul, since he stated it in 12:3 too, don’t be “high-thinking.”

In contrast we (gladly) bring ourselves to be associating with the lowly. Again, we adjust ourselves. We accommodate, which has the idea of providing space or even adapting the space so that things will fit. We adapt, we get our bearings where they belong, not thinking that we are all that.

So the final imperative, Do not be thinking (self-smart) in the sight of yourself, is a play on words. Think accommodatingly not alienating-ly. Watch out when you estimate your perspective to be better than everyone else’s, when you think of yourself as the standard rather than thinking of yourself in light of the standard, and along with others. This is ancient wisdom: Do not lean on your own understanding, be not wise in your own eyes (Proverbs 3:5, 7). Those who are self-absorbed are notoriously relentless and invulnerable to insight (Edwin Friedman).

These altar perspectives are more of the Ancient Jealousable Ways. All these require that we life from faith to faith, living in an awareness of God’s oversight and governance. We must put our preoccupations with our own feelings, our own concerns, up on the altar to die.

Don’t be a blessing bully. Be sure that a rejoicing brother is rejoicing in evil before you try to “bless” him by confronting his rejoicing as wrong. Likewise, there is a time to weep and a time to mourn; don’t “bless” them by demanding a dance out of season. Likewise likewise, if you can/must bless those who persecute you, then you can bless those who misunderstand what you’re going through. There is no third line (in Romans 12:15), “Be angry with those who didn’t rejoice or weep with you as they should have.” That’s not a blessing either.

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

We’re back for more *altar commitments*, as in, more of what life as a living sacrifice looks like. A bunch of this applies to body life; if the individual members of the body used their gifts for the body and then treated one another according to these “one anothers” in verses 9-21, we’d be built up and blessed. Paul gives us more of the Ancient Jealousable Ways, and verses 14-16 are particularly outside the world’s pattern.

These are commitments for what living sacrifices look like, but also *altar perspectives*, *how* living sacrifices look. These perspectives put our self-absorbed attitudes up on the altar to die.

For the first time we hit actual imperatives in the original text. Verse 14 alone has three of them, and there’s another one that finishes verse 16. But, as in verses 9-13, there are some secondary verbs that should be taken as modifiers, which hardly any of the typical English translations recognize. I’d propose this way of reading the passage:

> **Bless** the ones persecuting you;

> **bless** and **do not curse**.

> [**Seek**] *to rejoice* with those rejoicing,

> *to weep* with those weeping.

> *Thinking* the same toward one another,

> *not thinking* highly,

> but *associating* with the lowly,

> **do not be wise** according to yourself.

We’ve considered in verses 9-13 the requirements to Love Discriminately, Honor Surpassingly, and Christian Zealously, and there are three more in these verses. There’s plenty to make your teeth hurt so good, like biting into orange juice concentrate.

# Bless Transcendently (verse 14)

Don’t fake love, don’t phone in serving the Lord, be helpful to those with needs, so said verses 9-13. While that actually can be challenging enough, verse 14 takes the challenge up to another level. In fact, obedience here it requires seeing beyond the field immediately in front of you.

> **Bless** those who persecute you;

> **bless** and **do not curse** them.

To **bless** has obvious verbal implications. First, it’s built into the word; *eulogeo* is from *eu* meaning good/well and *logeo* meaning speak, so “good wording” or “speaking well,” so our word eulogy means a speech of praise. Second, it’s contrasted with cursing (and with reviling elsewhere), which is also primarily associated with words.

But blessing others in the Bible is more than a spoken formula, it includes the desire for the other person to receive good - beyond what the situation calls for. For Christians, when we bless someone else, we want God’s special favor to be given. We bless our kids, we bless our friends, we want God to give them good. Here we are commanded to bless our hostiles, “the ones persecuting you.” This is a substantival participle, characterizing the ones who harass, pressure, and attack. Bless *them*.

Remember that this is the first explicit command since verse 9, and it is immediately repeated and followed with a prohibition. To **curse** is more than to complain, though it includes that. It’s to desire the harm and/or misery of someone else, invoking supernatural power to bring about the pain. You almost always have a *reason* to get back at them. Be careful little mouth what you say. There’s much more about this in verses 17-21.

Since we’ve got more than Romans, I think this is encouraging:

> Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. (1 Peter 3:9 ESV)

It is the Christian’s calling to do the contrary than be conformed to the world’s ways *so that* we may obtain a blessing. That requires faith, a transcendent perspective and trust in the “faithful Creator” who works suffering for good while we’re doing good (see 1 Peter 4:19).

Jesus taught that it is no big deal to love those who love you; loving lovers is the natural, *worldly* way (Matthew 5:44, 46). What if the ones persecuting you are the government? What if they are a business—that you paid for—with shoddy products/service? The primary context is interpersonal, but if your reactions are as self-absorbed as the world’s, then don’t expect to obtain great blessing yourself.

# Relate Sympathetically (verse 15)

There is no explicit command in verse 15, but two parallel phrases that start with infinitives. Rather than understand the command “be (something)” as in the previous verses, here something such as “seek” or “pursue” works better.

> [**Seek**] *to rejoice* with those who rejoice,

> *to weep* with those who weep.

There are “rejoicers” and there are “weepers.” To the Corinthians Paul had them connected within the church body:

> If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. (1 Corinthians 12:26 ESV)

In the previous verse we wouldn’t think of persecutors as being brothers in Christ, but we’re also not supposed to think the same thing as non-Christians like in the following verse. We can at least say that this verse applies to rejoicers/weepers we worship with, and yet there are ways that we can relate even to unbelievers.

It is mean to delight in another person’s loss, but it is a different challenge to celebrate with their victories. The temptations to envy are legion compared to the temptations to being aloof.

This is good, old-fashioned sympathy, shared *pathos*, understanding between people and having a common feeling. So compassion represents a suffering with, a concern for the pains of others. It’s mutually exclusive with self-absorbed attitudes.

There is discrimination involved. If the other person is weeping that his adultery didn’t work out, you should rejoice in that. If she is weep-cursing her neighbor, don’t have a good gripe-session. Give the benefit of the doubt, and also don’t believe everything they say, at least not right away. Don’t complain with those who complain-weep, and for that matter, don’t immediately criticize those who weep as complainers.

Don’t sing songs to a troubled heart (Proverbs 25:20), and also, don’t curse those who are trying to help, even if clumsily.

# Think Accommodatingly (verse 16)

There is an explicit imperative in verse 16, but comes at the end. Three participles (the verbs ending in -ing) before it prepare the way.

> *Thinking* the same toward one another,

> *not thinking* highly,

> but *associating* with the lowly,

> **do not be wise** according to yourself.

The first phrase is turned into a command differently by some good translations: “Live in harmony with one another” (ESV) or “Be of the same mind toward one another” (NASB), but it could be “the same thing unto one another **thinking**.” The nuance of this word for thinking might be about carefully considering your opinion about a thing (BAGD). As it modifies the imperative coming at the end of the verse, it means that this is required, and so a kind of shared thinking is to be *pursued*. You can try it, make progress toward it. Harmony requires adjustments on *your* part.

The same participle for **thinking** is used in the second phrase, with a negative for being “high,” and so figuratively referring to what is haughty, proud. This is apparently a big deal to Paul, since he stated it in 12:3 too, don’t be “high-thinking.”

In contrast we (gladly) bring ourselves to be **associating** with the lowly. Again, we adjust ourselves. We accommodate, which has the idea of providing space or even adapting the space so that things will fit. We adapt, we get our bearings where they belong, not thinking that we are all that.

So the final imperative, **Do not be thinking (self-smart) in the sight of yourself**, is a play on words. Think accommodatingly not alienating-ly. Watch out when you estimate your perspective to be better than everyone else’s, when you think of yourself as the standard rather than thinking of yourself in light of the standard, and along with others. This is ancient wisdom: Do not lean on your own understanding, be not wise in your own eyes (Proverbs 3:5, 7). Those who are self-absorbed are notoriously relentless and invulnerable to insight (Edwin Friedman).

# Conclusion

These altar perspectives are more of the Ancient Jealousable Ways. All these require that we life from faith to faith, living in an awareness of God’s oversight and governance. We must put our preoccupations with our own feelings, our own concerns, up on the altar to die.

----------

## Charge

Don’t be a blessing bully. Be sure that a rejoicing brother is rejoicing in *evil* before you try to “bless” him by confronting his rejoicing as wrong. Likewise, there is a time to weep and a time to mourn; don’t “bless” them by demanding a dance out of season. Likewise likewise, if you can/must bless those who persecute you, then you can bless those who misunderstand what you’re going through. There is no third line (in Romans 12:15), “Be angry with those who didn’t rejoice or weep with you as they should have.” That’s not a blessing either.

## Benediction:

> Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.

> The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. (2 Corinthians 13:11, 14, ESV)

I have loved this paragraph for a couple decades. It is a kick in the living-sacrifice pants, a kick in the member-of-one-body pants, a kick in the pants for people who don’t love grammar, or the Christian lifestyle. Here is application par excellence, application for those who might want to go back to abstract ideas if this is what application looks like.

There are really good reasons to observe verses 9-21 all together. That said, I think a good case could be made for a division at verse 17, which appears to address how Christians behave toward non-Christians, though there’s a piece of that in verse 14. The ESV breaks a paragraph after verse 13, which does have a grammatical benefit as well, since verse 14 is the first verse that technically has a command, an explicit imperative verb rather than implied imperatives. More on that in a moment.

In Romans 12 we’ve acknowledged Paul’s appeal to be transformed, we’ve received Paul’s analogy about being members of one body. What are these verses about? Some editions of the Bible provide headings over verses 9-21 such as “Rules of the Christian Life” (UBS4). “Marks of the True Christian” (ESV). “Love in Action” (NIV). “Christian Ethics” (HCSB). I’d like to say these are the Ancient Jealousable Ways. When you want to know what a living sacrifice does on the altar, here’s a good start; these are altar commitments. When members of the body want something more practical than just appreciating other members, here’s how that appreciation looks in practice.

The grammar here is fun. As I said, the first un-implied command is in verse 14, but there are three implied commands of “be (a particular way)” in verses 9-13, with some follow up to each. Between the adjectives and a lot of participles, both of which modify main ideas, I’d translate the verses like so:

Let love [be] without hypocrisy;

With this structure in mind we see the first three altar commitments.

The verse opens with an article, a noun, and an adjective, with an assumed linking verb, more than likely a command. The rest of the verse has a pair of participles that not only make an obvious contrast, but also help explain the first line. Again:

Let love [be] without hypocrisy;

Love has its hands all over the Bible. It is the Greatest Commandment and the second is like it, which got its start in Deuteronomy and renewed by Jesus (Matthew 22:36-40). The Spirit produces love in believers (Galatians 5:22); it is the way the world knows we are Jesus’ disciples (John 13:34-35). Love binds the body parts together in harmony (Colossians 3:14). And such love should be un-hypocritical, without pretense, “without play-acting” (BAGD).

If you read the next two phrases as commands, such as in the ESV, fine. Obeying all the parts of the verse gets to the same outcome. But there’s another level of clarity about what makes love hypocritical: abhorring evil and holding to the good.

Sincere love discriminates. Love isn’t love if it does not distinguish between evil and good and act accordingly. This is one reason we don’t say “Love is love.” Love does not deny standards. Love that clings to evil and abhors what is good is not love; that’s like loving the thorn, not the flower.

Similar to verse 9, verse 10 opens with an article, a noun, a prepositional phrase, and then an adjective: the brotherly-love — to one another — loving dearly. Or:

[Be] devoted to one another in brotherly affection,

Philadelphia is brother-love. Is it easier, or harder, to love your brother? Yes.

I’ve benefited from Rene Girard’s observations that we usually have a harder time loving the ones that want the same things as us. I don’t really have a lot of fights with the Lesbian Unitarian pastors; we’re not competing for the same demographic, at least not week to week. And while it may be true that, at the end of the day, a brother would willingly spare a kidney for another brother, lots of times brothers punch each other; sibling rivalry is real. They’re stuck in the same location, the resources are limited, they’re fighting it out for attention and space, and glory.

Brotherly love is recognizable and command-able. It’s also why the follow up participle does a lot of work. Love honors, and if there is any competition, it’s a competition for who can show more honor to the other person. The NASB has “give preference in honor,” “honor above yourselves” says the NIV, “showing eagerness in honoring” (NET). But Tyndale and the ESV seem better, “In gevynge honoure/goo one before another.” Beat one another to honoring one another.

One more time, verse 11 begins with an article, a noun, a negative, then an adjective, followed up by seven participles that modify. It’s a bunch of Christian basics under the basic reminder of: don’t be lazy.

Do not [be] slothful in zeal;

Zeal is the virtue, an eagerness and haste. Don’t just sit there, get busy. The adjective slothful has the idea of “lagging behind” (NASB), hesitation, reluctance (BAGD). Don’t let the zeal flag flop. Maybe this could be like the opposite of telling someone to “Calm Down. Relax.” which hardly seems to work. Does the command to !Be excited! really help? It could be emotional volume without substance, but that’s one benefit of the next bunch of modifiers, which most English translations turn into commands. And fine. But they belong together in such a way as to say: don’t hold back.

Be(ing) fervent in spirit is probably one’s human spirit rather than the Holy Spirit, and it means to get charged up. Homer used the word for boiling or seething liquid, so figuratively our spirit should be stirred up, our affections excited, on fire. John Calvin said, “our flesh, like the ass, is always torpid.” Go ahead, be a Jesus freak.

Serving the Lord frames the zeal because we are not the Master. Our confession is that He is Lord, we do what He says. When the zeal and fervor is at low tide, remember that you are working for the Lord and not for men, and it’s from the Lord that you will receive the reward (Colossians 3:23-24).

Into verse 12, these three phrases work together for good, all in parallel form. We’re zealously rejoicing in hope, which earlier we learned is the hope of glory (Romans 5:2). Hope is the flavor of rejoicing. We’re zealously persevering in tribulation, which is a steadfastness, also which we know God works for our perfection (James 1:2-4). And we’re zealously being devoted to prayer, which should go along with the attitude in afflictions, because we need the Lord’s help.

The two phrases in verse 13 complement each other. There’s zeal for contributing to the needs of the saints and seeking to show hospitality. Some have the gift of giving (Romans 12:8), all of us have different ways we can give. The hospitality part, especially in the first century, was more important since it was often strangers who needed it. Maybe evangelists were traveling, maybe there just weren’t available inns for passers-by. Christians had a great ministry in their homes, not just outside of them. It’s not ridiculous to think that we can apply this, but having your favorite family over for dinner and game night is not exactly the same. That said, it’s good practice in an inhospitable world (Murray).

Zeal is cheerful, faithful, prayerful, merciful, bountiful.

Don’t hold back love, don’t hold back honor, don’t hold back at all. This shows what altar commitment looks like. These are the Ancient Jealousable Ways. While much of Romans expects our “Amen!”, these require us to Act!

“Good works are conspicuous/obvious, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden” (1 Timothy 5:25). Love the good. Find someone to outdo in honor. Pray. Be patient. Give when you can. Don't hold back.

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23–25, ESV)

I have loved this paragraph for a couple decades. It is a kick in the living-sacrifice pants, a kick in the member-of-one-body pants, a kick in the pants for people who don’t love grammar, or the Christian lifestyle. Here is application par excellence, application for those who might want to go back to abstract ideas if *this* is what application looks like.

There are really good reasons to observe verses 9-21 all together. That said, I think a good case could be made for a division at verse 17, which appears to address how Christians behave toward non-Christians, though there’s a piece of that in verse 14. The ESV breaks a paragraph after verse 13, which does have a grammatical benefit as well, since verse 14 is the first verse that technically has a command, an explicit imperative verb rather than implied imperatives. More on that in a moment.

In Romans 12 we’ve acknowledged Paul’s appeal to be transformed, we’ve received Paul’s analogy about being members of one body. What are these verses about? Some editions of the Bible provide headings over verses 9-21 such as “Rules of the Christian Life” (UBS4). “Marks of the True Christian” (ESV). “Love in Action” (NIV). “Christian Ethics” (HCSB). I’d like to say these are the Ancient Jealousable Ways. When you want to know what a living sacrifice does on the altar, here’s a good start; these are *altar commitments*. When members of the body want something more practical than just appreciating other members, here’s how that appreciation looks in practice.

The grammar here is fun. As I said, the first un-implied command is in verse 14, but there are three implied commands of “be (a particular way)” in verses 9-13, with some follow up to each. Between the adjectives and a lot of participles, both of which modify main ideas, I’d translate the verses like so:

> Let love [be] without hypocrisy;

> *abhorring* what is evil,

> *clinging* to what is good.

> [Be] devoted to one another in brothers affection,

> *outdoing* one another in [showing] honor.

> Do not [be] slothful in zeal;

> *being fervent* in spirit,

> *serving* the Lord,

> *rejoicing* in hope,

> *persevering* in tribulation,

> *being devoted* to prayer,

> *contributing* to the needs of the saints,

> *seeking* to show hospitality.

With this structure in mind we see the first three altar commitments.

# Love Discriminately (verse 9)

The verse opens with an article, a noun, and an adjective, with an assumed linking verb, more than likely a command. The rest of the verse has a pair of participles that not only make an obvious contrast, but also help explain the first line. Again:

> Let love [be] without hypocrisy;

> *abhorring* what is evil,

> *clinging* to what is good.

**Love** has its hands all over the Bible. It is the Greatest Commandment and the second is like it, which got its start in Deuteronomy and renewed by Jesus (Matthew 22:36-40). The Spirit produces love in believers (Galatians 5:22); it is the way the world knows we are Jesus’ disciples (John 13:34-35). Love binds the body parts together in harmony (Colossians 3:14). And such love should be *un-hypocritical*, without pretense, “without play-acting” (BAGD).

If you read the next two phrases as commands, such as in the ESV, fine. Obeying all the parts of the verse gets to the same outcome. But there’s another level of clarity about what makes love hypocritical: abhorring evil and holding to the good.

Sincere love *discriminates*. Love isn’t love if it does not distinguish between **evil** and **good** and act accordingly. This is one reason we don’t say “Love is love.” Love does not deny standards. Love that clings to evil and abhors what is good is *not* love; that’s like loving the thorn, not the flower.

# Honor Surpassingly (verse 10)

Similar to verse 9, verse 10 opens with an article, a noun, a prepositional phrase, and then an adjective: the brotherly-love — to one another — loving dearly. Or:

> [Be] devoted to one another in brotherly affection,

> *outdoing* one another in [showing] honor.

*Philadelphia* is brother-love. Is it easier, or harder, to love your brother? Yes.

I’ve benefited from Rene Girard’s observations that we usually have a harder time loving the ones that want the same things as us. I don’t really have a lot of fights with the Lesbian Unitarian pastors; we’re not competing for the same demographic, at least not week to week. And while it may be true that, at the end of the day, a brother would willingly spare a kidney for another brother, lots of times brothers punch each other; sibling rivalry is real. They’re stuck in the same location, the resources are limited, they’re fighting it out for attention and space, and glory.

Brotherly love is recognizable and *command-able*. It’s also why the follow up participle does a lot of work. Love *honors*, and if there is any competition, it’s a competition for who can show more honor to the other person. The NASB has “give preference in honor,” “honor above yourselves” says the NIV, “showing eagerness in honoring” (NET). But Tyndale and the ESV seem better, “In gevynge honoure/goo one before another.” Beat one another to honoring one another.

# Christian Zealously (verses 11-13)

One more time, verse 11 begins with an article, a noun, a negative, then an adjective, followed up by seven participles that modify. It’s a bunch of Christian basics under the basic reminder of: don’t be lazy.

> Do not [be] slothful in zeal;

> *being fervent* in spirit,

> *serving* the Lord,

> *rejoicing* in hope,

> *persevering* in tribulation,

> *being devoted* to prayer,

> *contributing* to the needs of the saints,

> *seeking* to show hospitality.

**Zeal** is the virtue, an eagerness and *haste*. Don’t just sit there, get busy. The adjective **slothful** has the idea of “lagging behind” (NASB), hesitation, reluctance (BAGD). Don’t let the zeal flag flop. Maybe this could be like the opposite of telling someone to “Calm Down. Relax.” which hardly seems to work. Does the command to *!Be excited!* really help? It could be emotional volume without substance, but that’s one benefit of the next bunch of modifiers, which most English translations turn into commands. And fine. But they belong together in such a way as to say: don’t hold back.

**Be(ing) fervent in spirit** is probably one’s human spirit rather than the Holy Spirit, and it means to get charged up. Homer used the word for boiling or seething liquid, so figuratively our spirit should be stirred up, our affections excited, on fire. John Calvin said, “our flesh, like the ass, is always torpid.” Go ahead, be a Jesus freak.

**Serving the Lord** frames the zeal because we are not the Master. Our confession is that He is Lord, we do what He says. When the zeal and fervor is at low tide, remember that you are working for the Lord and not for men, and it’s from the Lord that you will receive the reward (Colossians 3:23-24).

Into verse 12, these three phrases work together for good, all in parallel form. We’re zealously **rejoicing in hope**, which earlier we learned is the hope of glory (Romans 5:2). Hope is the flavor of rejoicing. We’re zealously **persevering in tribulation**, which is a steadfastness, also which we know God works for our perfection (James 1:2-4). And we’re zealously **being devoted to prayer**, which should go along with the attitude in afflictions, because we need the Lord’s help.

The two phrases in verse 13 complement each other. There’s zeal for **contributing to the needs of the saints** and **seeking to show hospitality**. Some have the gift of giving (Romans 12:8), all of us have different ways we can give. The **hospitality** part, especially in the first century, was more important since it was often strangers who needed it. Maybe evangelists were traveling, maybe there just weren’t available inns for passers-by. Christians had a great ministry *in their homes*, not just outside of them. It’s not ridiculous to think that we can apply this, but having your favorite family over for dinner and game night is not exactly the same. That said, it’s good practice in an inhospitable world (Murray).

Zeal is cheerful, faithful, prayerful, merciful, bountiful.

# Conclusion

Don’t hold back *love*, don’t hold back *honor*, *don’t hold back at all*. This shows what altar commitment looks like. These are the Ancient Jealousable Ways. While much of Romans expects our “Amen!”, these require us to *Act!*

----------

## Charge

“Good works are conspicuous/obvious, and even those that are not cannot remain hidden” (1 Timothy 5:25). Love the good. Find someone to outdo in honor. Pray. Be patient. Give when you can. Don't hold back.

## Benediction:

> Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. (Hebrews 10:23–25, ESV)

The human body is amazing; a demonstration of God’s kindness and creativity. The church body may be more amazing; a demonstration of God’s wisdom and power, plus His kindness and creativity (Which is harder, breathing life into molded dirt or uniting depraved and disparate parts into one who will work together, beside each other, all day long?). We might take either body for granted, and it’s easier when the body and her parts are healthy, working properly. Our physical bodies will be resurrected and glorified for eternity, and Christ’s body will be perfected in blamelessness and unity forever as well.

It’s all by grace. As the mercies of God motivate our individual renewal and proving of what’s good, so the grace of God teaches us how to think with right-thinking about ourselves, including how we are connected in Christ to other Christians and how not one of us has all the powers. Paul admonished sanity (verse 3), he introduced the analogy of membership (verses 4-5), and now he gives an application of usefulness for the spiritual gifts God has given by grace to the body (verses 6-8).

Gifts are like spiritual milk: they do the body good.

Having taught through 1 Corinthians 12, the first time Paul wrote about the body analogy and extended it into a list of gifts along with the reason for the gifts (to build up), I was definitely surprised at some low-level resistance to actually considering one’s own giftedness, and definitely to thinking about how God uses others. But both in the Corinthians and for the Romans, God’s Word through Paul aims to help us think about it correctly.

There are three mind-renewing phrases before getting into the list of gifts, phrases all at the beginning of verse 6. The first part is Paul’s assumption of the reality of having received gifts from God.

Having gifts…that differ

The grammar of verse 6 assumes a gift-giving and assumes our general stewardship for those gifts. God gave so we must use. Paul opens with a participle, “having gifts,” and the noun gifts is separated by six words from the adjective that modifies it, differ: “gifts — according to the grace given to us (that are) — different.” The NASB translates, “Since we have gifts that differ.” Paul doesn’t try to prove it, he accepts as true that we have the gifts.

Gifts is the word charismata (χαρίσματα), with the Greek word for grace (charis) built-in: so these are then “grace-gifts” or “gifts of grace” or “freely bestowed gifts.” The gifts differ, they are distinct, not the same, unlike in quality and in purpose/use, as we’ll see.

There isn’t any hint that only some have gifts. The thrust of the paragraph has been to each. This is how “everyone among you” should think, think “each according to the measure,” and “we, though many,” we are “individually members of one another.” And it’s this group, the all of us, that are the having ones.

The gifts were not requested by us.

gifts that differ according to the grace given to us

“God has assigned” a measure of faith (verse 3), and God has given gifts by grace.

The voice of given is passive. God did the giving. The given also means not decided by us or taken by us. God is the one who chooses who gets what and how much. Grace is undeserved, and Peter called it “varied grace” (1 Peter 4:10), the same Greek word used to translate Joesph’s coat of “many colors.”

Gifts are given, discoverable, usable. Since we all have what we have by grace, there is no need for resentment or anxiety.

As a reminder from the body talk in 1 Corinthians 12: “There are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. Too each is given a manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:6-7). “All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as He wills” (1 Corinthians 12:11). “As it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose” (1 Corinthians 12:18). “God has so composed the body” (1 Corinthians 12:24). “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed…” (1 Corinthians 12:27-28).

The fact that it’s by grace, not deserved, and that it’s been given, not decided by us, encourages humility and gratitude (to God and for others), both for what we have and don’t that others do.

For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? (1 Corinthians 4:7 ESV)

The ESV simply exhorts: let us use them.

“each of us is to exercise them accordingly” (NASB)

The NASB puts the whole phrase in italics, which is good, because there is no main verb/imperative in the rest of the original language paragraph. The KJV added three imperatives, mixed into the list. But this is certainly implied. These gifts aren’t to be treasured behind glass, and certainly not buried (think Jesus’ parable of the talents). They must be used.

This list is not exhaustive, but do take care when adding. One of our members recently visited a Bible study and met a woman with the spiritual gift of scent, and she said that she can smell rainbows. I can see rainbows, but I wouldn’t count that as the way I build up the church.

Rather than list body parts by name, such as arms and legs or hands and feet, the parts are described by function.

if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12:6–8 ESV)

Two broad categories: speaking and serving (as Peter summarizes in 1 Peter 4:11). If you’re speaking, do it according to God’s Word, if you’re serving, do it according to God’s strength.

Prophecy is a speaking of God’s Word, but I tend to think this is a gift that ended with the completion of the NT. Prophecy communicated revelation, not necessarily only about things in the future. Those with prophecy were gifted to speak God's Word into particular contexts. They made announcements, gave judgments, and their messages were to be tested (see 1 Corinthians 14). It was to be exercised in proportion to our faith, but it could be better understood as “according to the analogy of the faith.” or “agreeing unto the faith” (Tyndale).

Service translates the word deaconian, so ministry. Paul isn’t referring to the office of deacon here, but this general service means that you are gifted to work in an intermediary capacity. As in, if you see the need and can bring support from A to B, then do it.

Teaching is a transfer of “the faith,” and this would be especially important in a time pre-printing press and pre-podcast apps. To distinguish teaching from the next gift, teaching aims more toward the mind and understanding.

Exhortation is more conducive (make it happen) than cognitive, to encourage and even to comfort. Exhortation aims at the heart, the will, and for decision.

The next three have different modifiers. The one who contributes or giving, not so much in “generosity” (as the ESV), but in “simplicity,” with single purpose or single-minded, not “twofold” or duplicitous. There’s no outward show concealing an improper ambition. No strings attached, no hidden agenda.

Leading means to stand in front, to put forward, to go first. Jesus is the Head of the Body, but He ascended to the Father and gave men to represent Him. That includes those who manage and administrate, who “rule” (as elders do in 1 Timothy 5:17). Solomon once wrote about church bulletins: of the need to organize events there is no end, and many potlucks are a weariness of the flesh. That part is tongue in cheek, but there are many decisions to be made to lead the flock. And that leading is to be done with zeal, swiftness, with commitment and diligence.

Mercy is especially to the needy or hurting, and to do it with cheerfulness means that you’re doing it with low drama, without acting put out, not making the other feel that they are a burden.

We don’t need a spiritual gifts business card, nor to add our spiritual gift to our Twitter bio. We definitely don’t need to make excuses based on what gift we think we don’t have; worship and discipleship and loving one another are for all. And we can’t ever claim that we don’t need help from others; we are members of one another.

If you are in Christ, you are a member of His body. What is your part, is it working properly, is it building the body up (Ephesians 4:16)?

“God has so composed the body…that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (1 Corinthians 12:25–26 ESV) You have God’s Spirit, and to each has been given a manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. “Everything” is not a spiritual gift, neither is “Nothing.” Do something good for the body.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10–11, ESV)

The human body is amazing; a demonstration of God’s kindness and creativity. The church body may be more amazing; a demonstration of God’s wisdom and power, plus His kindness and creativity (Which is harder, breathing life into molded dirt or uniting depraved and disparate parts into one who will work together, beside each other, all day long?). We might take either body for granted, and it’s easier when the body and her parts are healthy, working properly. Our physical bodies will be resurrected and glorified for eternity, and Christ’s body will be perfected in blamelessness and unity forever as well.

It’s all by grace. As the mercies of God motivate our individual renewal and proving of what’s good, so the grace of God teaches us how to think with right-thinking about ourselves, including how we are connected in Christ to other Christians and how not one of us has all the powers. Paul admonished sanity (verse 3), he introduced the analogy of membership (verses 4-5), and now he gives an application of usefulness for the spiritual gifts God has given by grace to the body (verses 6-8).

Gifts are like spiritual milk: they do the body good.

Having taught through 1 Corinthians 12, the first time Paul wrote about the body analogy and extended it into a list of gifts along with the reason for the gifts (to build up), I was definitely surprised at some low-level resistance to actually considering one’s own giftedness, and definitely to thinking about how God uses others. But both in the Corinthians and for the Romans, God’s Word through Paul aims to help us think about it correctly.

# The Reality of Gifts (Romans 12:6a)

There are three mind-renewing phrases before getting into the list of gifts, phrases all at the beginning of verse 6. The first part is Paul’s assumption of the reality of having received gifts from God.

> Having gifts…that differ

The grammar of verse 6 assumes a gift-giving *and* assumes our general stewardship for those gifts. God gave so we must use. Paul opens with a participle, “having gifts,” and the noun **gifts** is separated by six words from the adjective that modifies it, **differ**: “gifts — according to the grace given to us (that are) — different.” The NASB translates, “*Since* we have gifts that differ.” Paul doesn’t try to prove it, he accepts as true that we have the gifts.

**Gifts** is the word *charismata* (χαρίσματα), with the Greek word for grace (*charis*) built-in: so these are then “grace-gifts” or “gifts of grace” or “freely bestowed gifts.” The gifts **differ**, they are distinct, not the same, unlike in quality and in purpose/use, as we’ll see.

There isn’t any hint that only some have gifts. The thrust of the paragraph has been to *each*. This is how “everyone among you” should think, think “each according to the measure,” and “we, though many,” we are “individually members of one another.” And it’s this group, the *all of us*, that are the having ones.

# The Source of Gifts (Romans 12:6b)

The gifts were not requested by us.

> gifts that differ according to the grace given to us

“God has assigned” a measure of faith (verse 3), and God has given gifts by grace.

The voice of **given** is passive. God did the giving. The **given** also means not decided by us or taken by us. God is the one who chooses who gets what and how much. **Grace** is undeserved, and Peter called it “varied grace” (1 Peter 4:10), the same Greek word used to translate Joesph’s coat of “many colors.”

Gifts are given, discoverable, usable. Since we all have what we have by grace, there is no need for resentment or anxiety.

As a reminder from the body talk in 1 Corinthians 12: “There are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. Too each is given a manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:6-7). “All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as He wills” (1 Corinthians 12:11). “As it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as He chose” (1 Corinthians 12:18). “God has so composed the body” (1 Corinthians 12:24). “Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed…” (1 Corinthians 12:27-28).

The fact that it’s by grace, not deserved, and that it’s been given, not decided by us, encourages humility and gratitude (to God and for others), both for what we have and *don’t* that others do.

> For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? (1 Corinthians 4:7 ESV)

# The Responsibility of Gifts (Romans 12:6c)

The ESV simply exhorts: **let us use them**.

> “*each of us is to exercise them accordingly*” (NASB)

The NASB puts the whole phrase in italics, which is good, because there is no main verb/imperative in the rest of the original language paragraph. The KJV added three imperatives, mixed into the list. But this is certainly implied. These gifts aren’t to be treasured behind glass, and certainly not buried (think Jesus’ parable of the talents). They must be *used*.

# The List of Gifts (Romans 12:6d-8)

This list is not exhaustive, but do take care when adding. One of our members recently visited a Bible study and met a woman with the spiritual gift of *scent*, and she said that she can smell rainbows. I can *see* rainbows, but I wouldn’t count that as the way I build up the church.

Rather than list body parts by name, such as arms and legs or hands and feet, the parts are described by function.

> if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. (Romans 12:6–8 ESV)

Two broad categories: speaking and serving (as Peter summarizes in 1 Peter 4:11). If you’re speaking, do it according to God’s Word, if you’re serving, do it according to God’s strength.

**Prophecy** is a speaking of God’s Word, but I tend to think this is a gift that ended with the completion of the NT. Prophecy communicated revelation, not necessarily only about things in the future. Those with prophecy were gifted to speak God's Word into particular contexts. They made announcements, gave judgments, and their messages were to be tested (see 1 Corinthians 14). It was to be exercised **in proportion to our faith**, but it could be better understood as “according to the analogy of *the* faith.” or “agreeing unto the faith” (Tyndale).

**Service** translates the word *deaconian*, so ministry. Paul isn’t referring to the office of deacon here, but this general service means that you are gifted to work in an intermediary capacity. As in, if you see the need and can bring support from A to B, then do it.

**Teaching** is a transfer of “the faith,” and this would be especially important in a time pre-printing press and pre-podcast apps. To distinguish teaching from the next gift, teaching aims more toward the mind and understanding.

**Exhortation** is more conducive (make it happen) than cognitive, to encourage and even to comfort. Exhortation aims at the heart, the will, and for decision.

The next three have different modifiers. **The one who contributes** or *giving*, not so much in “generosity” (as the ESV), but in “simplicity,” with single purpose or single-minded, not “twofold” or duplicitous. There’s no outward show concealing an improper ambition. No strings attached, no hidden agenda.

**Leading** means to stand in front, to put forward, to go first. Jesus is the Head of the Body, but He ascended to the Father and gave men to represent Him. That includes those who manage and administrate, who “rule” (as elders do in 1 Timothy 5:17). Solomon once wrote about church bulletins: of the need to organize events there is no end, and many potlucks are a weariness of the flesh. That part is tongue in cheek, but there are many decisions to be made to lead the flock. And that leading is to be done with **zeal**, swiftness, with commitment and diligence.

**Mercy** is especially to the needy or hurting, and to do it with **cheerfulness** means that you’re doing it with low drama, without acting put out, not making the other feel that they are a burden.

# Conclusion

We don’t need a spiritual gifts business card, nor to add our spiritual gift to our Twitter bio. We definitely don’t need to make excuses based on what gift we think we *don’t* have; worship and discipleship and loving one another are for *all*. And we can’t ever claim that we don’t need help from others; we are members of one another.

If you are in Christ, you are a member of His body. What is your part, is it working properly, is it building the body up (Ephesians 4:16)?

----------

## Charge

“God has so composed the body…that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” (1 Corinthians 12:25–26 ESV) You have God’s Spirit, and to each has been given a manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. “Everything” is not a spiritual gift, neither is “Nothing.” Do something good for the body.

## Benediction:

> As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 4:10–11, ESV)

The point of this paragraph is that Christians are connected to one another. This is true, even if the parts and joints aren’t always healthy. It goes wrong when we think of ourselves, and especially of our abilities, either too much or too little. It goes wrong when we think we’re indispensable to the body or independent from it. It goes wrong when we forget that grace gives assignments, grace gives gifts, and those aren’t the same for everyone.

The point of the previous paragraph, Romans 12:1-2, is that God calls each Christian to present himself as a living sacrifice. We must, all of us, get up on the altar of serving God. He’s changing us so that we live by His will not the world’s ways. And not only does Romans 12:3-8 get more specific, it makes the first place for applied mercies our church.

When we present our bodies to God as sacrifices for service, we realize that He wants us to serve one another. When we are not conformed to this world, we realize that part of what it means is to stop competing with and isolating from one another. When we are transformed by the renewing of our minds, we seek to bless our brothers and build them up.

Faith is personal, and faith is exercised for the body. And the body is only as consecrated as its most worldly member.

We’re going to meditate on this paragraph in two parts, partly because I have an aim to preach shorter, but also because the admonition is that challenging. It’s been said that everyone wants to change the world but no-one want to help mom do the dishes. So also, all the world is an altar, and the first ones God wants you to sacrifice for are within eye sight. “Lord, I’ll be humble before anyone but him.” Well, the Lord just showed you today’s altar.

Renewed minds think about God differently, they think about the world differently, and they think about their own identity differently.

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3 ESV)

Paul wrote Romans from Corinth, probably around AD 56. He had not only already founded the church in Corinth, but had already written one or both of the letters we have to the Corinthians. That’s significant because Paul had first-hand experience with believers puffing themselves up over one another.

There’s no indication that the Romans were already having this problem. As they thought about God’s mercies as a motivation for consecration, they should think about God’s grace to Paul as his motivation for the admonition.

“[Let] no man esteme of him selfe moare then it becōmeth him to esteme” (Tyndale). Esteem is a good word, originally connected with an estimate, with assessing merit. We’re all always thinking about it, whether center-screen or a background process, whether accurately or with a finger Ron the scale. Paul urges that we think (φρονεῖν), not high-thinkingly (ὑπερφρονεῖν) but sound-thinkingly (σωφρονεῖν), which is the necessary-thinking (ὃ δεῖ φρονεῖν). Sober judgement is fine, but it’s being in one’s right mind, to be sane, from sanus meaning healthy.

The temptation is for a man to think of himself more highly, so it’s not just self-esteem, but vanity.

There are two ways this exaggerated sense of one’s own value or abilities can be expressed: 1) self-importance (“everybody needs me”) and 2) self-independence (“everybody get away from me”). The analogy in verses 4-5 of the body means that we don’t do the same things, but that’s not a sign of worth. Be reasonable.

The admonition is to each, and the standard is ** according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.** God has measured the measure of faith, He’s apportioned the portion. What does Paul mean? Some have more faith than others? Or faith is for different uses for some than others? Based on the rest of the paragraph, it would be the latter. It is true that faith might be strong or weak (which are categories in Romans 14-15), but this is about identifying that God gives faith to be exercised in a variety of edifying ways.

There is a sobriety, a sanity, a modesty necessary to our identity. By grace we ought not overstate or understate what God has given us.

Christians who are being transformed are not conformed to this age, they are being conformed to Christ, and yet this isn’t a cookie-cutter factory.

For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. (Romans 12:4–5 ESV)

The conjunctions — for (just) as — show that this simile is stretching out our thinking on our identity. We are members, as members we are part of one body, members have different functions in this body, this is a supernatural body connected because we are in Christ, and this is God’s work and what He has portioned.

There is a partial list in verses 6-8 of some of the types of functions. But the analogy should get some mind-renewing time itself.

Plato wrote about a community, even a state, as a body in his Republic. Paul used the body analogy in 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4, and here. It’s good because a body is a living, growing organism, measured more by health than by size. It’s good because a body is not far from personification, which Paul did in 1 Corinthians where he portrays the parts as talking to each other. It’s good because a body suggests coordinated effort, a shared goal.

A member belongs to the body; “part” is fine, or “limb.” Without stretching the body image too far, any given member could be fit or frail, reliable or nagging, good or bad at what it’s supposed to do. But every member has a function, and the members do not all have the same function.

This is exactly the case with the church. Three other places Paul immediately connects body and church, so we know these are two names for the same group: “Christ is the head of the church, His body” (Ephesians 5:23), “He is the head of the body, the church” (Colossians 1:18), and again, “His body, that is, the church” (Colossians 1:24). The Church is the universal church, that is, all those who believe, but while the universal church can be helpfully distinguished from local churches, and while local churches do share the ability to bless across flock-lines, the immediate benefit for being connected to the other members is within the limits of the communion.

We are members one of another, or “each one is member of the one-another members.” The presumption is that we want the best for those who are us.

Is it harder to be a solo Christian, or harder to be a Christian in connection with these Christians? Is it more of a temptation to think highly of yourself like others should be valuing you more, or highly of yourself like you don’t need to value others more? The will of God is your sane view of the grace and faith given to you with a renewed mind to see the beauty/blessings of our one body in Christ.

This age has a consumer/customer mindset, low on connection and high on complaints. Among the brothers, these things ought not to be so.

I’m grateful, and more and more as years go by, for all the body parts that help me, that are better at things I’m no good at, that make the whole church attractive and strong.

Each member, by faith seeking to be the best asset to the body, and the least liability. Each part strong and connected. Individuals healthy and dependent, not helpless or autonomous. This is not forgetting yourself, it is receiving your responsibilities and your relationships from God, one body in Christ. The church is an altar for parts, and the church together is a living sacrifice.

The analogy of body parts being one body in Christ is a metaphor, but it is not a mystery (that’s hard to comprehend) or a mandate (something that we make happen by our effort). We are one body with many members. Whatever you think makes you special/different is only something you received (1 Corinthians 4:7), so thank the Lord for you. We need it. Keep doing it, do it better. Honor God and bless the body.

May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 15:5–6, ESV)

The point of this paragraph is that Christians are connected to one another. This is true, even if the parts and joints aren’t always healthy. It goes wrong when we think of ourselves, and especially of our abilities, either too much or too little. It goes wrong when we think we’re indispensable to the body or independent from it. It goes wrong when we forget that grace gives assignments, grace gives gifts, and those aren’t the same for everyone.

The point of the previous paragraph, Romans 12:1-2, is that God calls each Christian to present himself as a living sacrifice. We must, all of us, get up on the altar of serving God. He’s changing us so that we live by His will not the world’s ways. And not only does Romans 12:3-8 get more specific, it makes the first place for applied mercies our *church*.

When we present our bodies to God as sacrifices for service, we realize that He wants us to serve *one another*. When we are not conformed to this world, we realize that part of what it means is to stop competing with and isolating from one another. When we are transformed by the renewing of our minds, we seek to bless our brothers and build them up.

Faith is personal, and faith is exercised *for* the body. And the body is only as consecrated as its most worldly member.

We’re going to meditate on this paragraph in two parts, partly because I have an aim to preach shorter, but also because the admonition is that challenging. It’s been said that everyone wants to change the world but no-one want to help mom do the dishes. So also, all the world is an altar, and the first ones God wants you to sacrifice for are within eye sight. “Lord, I’ll be humble before anyone but him.” Well, the Lord just showed you today’s altar.

# The Admonition for Sanity (verse 3)

Renewed minds think about God differently, they think about the world differently, and they think about their own identity differently.

> For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3 ESV)

Paul wrote Romans from Corinth, probably around AD 56. He had not only already founded the church in Corinth, but had already written one or both of the letters we have to the Corinthians. That’s significant because Paul had first-hand experience with believers puffing themselves up over one another.

There’s no indication that the Romans were already having this problem. As they thought about God’s mercies as a motivation for consecration, they should think about God’s grace to Paul as his motivation for the admonition.

“[Let] no man esteme of him selfe moare then it becōmeth him to esteme” (Tyndale). Esteem is a good word, originally connected with an *estimate*, with assessing merit. We’re all always thinking about it, whether center-screen or a background process, whether accurately or with a finger Ron the scale. Paul urges that we think (φρονεῖν), not high-thinkingly (ὑπερφρονεῖν) but sound-thinkingly (σωφρονεῖν), which is the necessary-thinking (ὃ δεῖ φρονεῖν). **Sober judgement** is fine, but it’s being in one’s right mind, to be sane, from *sanus* meaning healthy.

The temptation is for a man **to think of himself more highly**, so it’s not just self-esteem, but *vanity*.

“For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself” (Galatians 6:3 ESV, see also Isaiah 5:21).

There are two ways this exaggerated sense of one’s own value or abilities can be expressed: 1) self-importance (“everybody needs me”) and 2) self-independence (“everybody get away from me”). The analogy in verses 4-5 of the body means that we don’t do the same things, but that’s not a sign of worth. Be reasonable.

The admonition is to **each**, and the standard is ** according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.** God has measured the measure of faith, He’s apportioned the portion. What does Paul mean? Some have more faith than others? Or faith is *for* different uses for some than others? Based on the rest of the paragraph, it would be the latter. It is true that faith might be strong or weak (which are categories in Romans 14-15), but this is about identifying that God gives faith to be exercised in a variety of edifying ways.

There is a sobriety, a sanity, a modesty necessary to our identity. By grace we ought not overstate or understate what God has given us.

# The Analogy of Unity (verses 4-5)

Christians who are being transformed are not conformed to this age, they are being conformed to Christ, and yet this isn’t a cookie-cutter factory.

> For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. (Romans 12:4–5 ESV)

The conjunctions — **for (just) as** — show that this simile is stretching out our thinking on our identity. We are members, as members we are part of one body, members have different functions in this body, this is a supernatural body connected because we are in Christ, and this is God’s work and what He has portioned.

There is a partial list in verses 6-8 of some of the types of functions. But the analogy should get some mind-renewing time itself.

Plato wrote about a community, even a state, as a body in his _Republic_. Paul used the body analogy in 1 Corinthians 12, Ephesians 4, and here. It’s good because a body is a living, growing organism, measured more by health than by size. It’s good because a body is not far from personification, which Paul did in 1 Corinthians where he portrays the parts as talking to each other. It’s good because a body suggests coordinated effort, a shared goal.

A **member** belongs to the body; “part” is fine, or “limb.” Without stretching the body image too far, any given member could be fit or frail, reliable or nagging, good or bad at what it’s supposed to do. But *every* member has a function, and **the members do not all have the same function**.

This is *exactly* the case with the *church*. Three other places Paul immediately connects body and church, so we know these are two names for the same group: “Christ is the head of the church, His body” (Ephesians 5:23), “He is the head of the body, the church” (Colossians 1:18), and again, “His body, that is, the church” (Colossians 1:24). The Church is the universal church, that is, all those who believe, but while the universal church can be helpfully distinguished from local churches, and while local churches do share the ability to bless across flock-lines, the immediate benefit for being connected to the other members is within the limits of the communion.

We are **members one of another**, or “each one is member of the one-another members.” The presumption is that we want the best for those who are us.

# Conclusion

Is it harder to be a solo Christian, or harder to be a Christian in connection with *these* Christians? Is it more of a temptation to think highly of yourself like others should be valuing you more, or highly of yourself like you don’t need to value others more? The will of God *is* your sane view of the grace and faith given to you with a renewed mind to see the beauty/blessings of our one body in Christ.

This age has a consumer/customer mindset, low on connection and high on complaints. Among the brothers, these things ought not to be so.

I’m grateful, and more and more as years go by, for all the body parts that help me, that are better at things I’m no good at, that make the whole church attractive and strong.

Each member, by faith seeking to be the best asset to the body, and the least liability. Each part strong *and* connected. Individuals healthy and dependent, not helpless or autonomous. This is *not* forgetting yourself, it is receiving your responsibilities and your relationships from God, one body in Christ. The church is an altar for parts, and the church together is a living sacrifice.

----------

## Charge

The analogy of body parts being one body in Christ is a metaphor, but it is not a mystery (that’s hard to comprehend) or a mandate (something that we make happen by our effort). We *are* one body with many members. Whatever you think makes you special/different is only something you *received* (1 Corinthians 4:7), so thank the Lord for you. We need it. Keep doing it, do it better. Honor God and bless the body.

## Benediction:

> May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. (Romans 15:5–6, ESV)

Automated transcript of the sermon audio, generated with OpenAI Whisper (small.en). It has not been checked against the recording and may contain errors, especially in names and Scripture references.

Good evening tonight we Tonight we finish our sermon series and proverbs and before I do that. I am actually gonna pray so Father thank you for your word. Thank you for proverbs Thank you for the opportunity that we've had to get more wisdom from it through the year and just pray that this would be one that would still continue to encourage me and you would do what you please with it as I speak it and just thank you for the wisdom that you have given us help us to keep it and hold it and to do something with it and I pray that you would bless your word as it goes out in Jesus name amen so the title of my message is watch your mouth the theme I want to draw upon from Proverbs is communication wisdom words are a gift from God and while most of us and while While most of what I plan to talk about tonight deals with verbal communication, there are many forms of communication to engage in daily.

From our body language to facial expressions to the tone of our voice. And sometimes our actions speak louder than words, both in good and bad ways. Even our impatience, frustration, complaining, and nagging are ways to communicate to one another, sometimes with words and other times with growls and groanings. The main thing I want to get us to get is that the power, there's power in the tongue. From a commentary that I found on James 3, 1 through 2, I found it very helpful, so I wanted to share it.

The quote, these verses provide a sobering picture of the tongue's power, destructiveness and instability. Behind James's treatment of this small member of the body is a theology that much human evil resides in the mouth. And more specifically, the widespread divisions caused by slander and cursing in the churches he addresses. Through one graphic illustration after another, James crafts a picture of the tongue that is meant to arrest attention, the descriptions being stated in the strongest terms. His treatment is a sober reminder that, to a great extent, the health of any church depends in part on the discipline with which her members are able to subdue this wildest of beasts."

I couldn't agree more with the statement that the health of any church depends in part of the discipline with which the members are able to subdue the tongue. If there is one thing I hope this word does, it has caused you to stop and consider your tongue not only with what fruit is coming out of your mouth but what you think, what you would think about what you could do to help improve the health of our body life here, or even your marriage or parenting or any relationships with how you use your mouth and even with the many various forms of communication available to you. Because when it comes to our mouths, we have unlimited power for good or evil.

Perhaps there is no easier way to sin than with your mouth. we can avoid sin because of lack of opportunity to pursue it, but when it comes to your mouth you have no limits to the evil you can pursue with your words. We have no limits, yeah, and at the same time we have the opportunity to use our words for good. Our words have power and they will either be life or death. Proverbs 18 20 through 21 says, from the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied. He is satisfied with the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Three things I gather from this passage are words are fruit. We will have a harvest and we will love to eat the fruit of your mouth. Matthew Henry says regarding verse 21, a man may do a great deal of good or a great deal of hurt both to others and to himself according to the use he makes of his tongue. Many a one has been his own death by a foul tongue or the death of others by a false tongue and on the contrary many a one has saved his own life or procured the comfort of it by a prudent gentle tongue and saved the lives of others by a seasonable testimony or intercession for them. And if by our words we must be justified or condemned, life, death and life are no doubt in the power of the tongue." End quote. The words you use to impact others will impact you. People feed on words and that will influence their behavior. There are consequences, life or death, with the words we use. A husband will get fruit from encouraging his wife, just as he will get fruit from triggering his wife. In any and all

relationships who either have a tongue that is life-giving or life-taking. And as you speak you shall eat the fruit of it. If you speak life you will get life and if you speak death you will get death. Consider Proverbs 11 17 which says a man who is kind benefits himself but a cruel man hurts himself. This is how it goes with our words. The power of the tongue will bring life or death and to the extent that you use words to benefit or destroy others it will benefit or destroy you. As followers of Jesus Christ we must care about our words and Jesus made the point that the problem with our words has nothing to do with our mouths but with our hearts. Our character will be known by its fruit like it or not what comes out of your mouth it is fruit from the depths of your heart. Consider Matthew 12 33 through 37 which says either make the tree good or and its fruit good or make the tree bad and its fruit bad for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers. How can you speak good when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart comes the mouth

speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you on the day of judgment people will give an account for every careless word they speak for by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned. This This passage confronts us today in the same way it would have when Jesus addressed it to religious leaders in his day. Our words and speech and what we say and how we say it is a reflection of our hearts. And our words make it clear what kind of fruit is in our hearts. Bad character cannot produce good fruit.

Our words will justify or condemn us on a day of judgment. In the meantime, you are welcome to repent of the things that come out of your mouth that shouldn't. Proverbs 28 13 says, whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes him will obtain mercy. Sooner or later, your heart will find you out. Excuse your words now, pretend like it was an accident or that you didn't mean to say that, but your only way of escape is confessing and repenting of words and communication that smell like death. As we get into some verses from Proverbs about words and communication, consider what Proverbs commends or condemns and how you could seek God's grace to make changes and apply wisdom so that your words would cultivate healthy relationships in your community whether that's in the church or your home or even your neighbor's next door. Because we reap what we sow our words matter. When we use our words to be life-giving it brings about a full and abundant life.

Now that doesn't mean that there is never a time to say hard things in love, but it does mean that there is a way to communicate that builds up our body in love. And when that takes place, it is a good and tasty fruit that we enjoy together. Think about your own situations and relationships and how Proverbs might help you be a life giver rather than a life taker with your words and communication. Going first is hard, but you can only control how you respond and handle yourself. And who knows, maybe your communication is the problem, but communication conflicts are a way to glorify and honor God. We must strive to honor him with our words and communications. Let us get into some Proverbs. My first one is Proverbs 10 11 through 12 and I call this be a fountain of life with your words. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. When the righteous opens their mouth, they are, as Matthew Henry says, a well of life. They become a source of

refreshment to those who hear their words. Their words become fruitful like a tree planted by streams of water. Proverbs 4.23 gives us this idea. It says, keep your heart with all villages, for from it flow the springs of life. Unlike a garden let go that becomes full of weeds, the righteous keep their heart weeds from choking out the spring that flows from their heart. The difference between the righteous and wicked is a love that leads to life versus a hatred that stirs up strife. What is in your heart will be exposed. It may take time but it will be known. But you will be known by your fruit. This is not to say that the wise and righteous never blow it. They actually blow it all the time, but they are quick to repent and stop sinfully using their words and speech. Learn how to answer. Proverbs 1528 says, the heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. You have to control your tongue and tame it from spreading forest fires. A wicked man here is proved by the evil that pours out of his mouth.

There are times when we will be humbled and have to give an answer. Here is where the righteous season their answer with grace that it may go well with God and whom they are accountable to. Proverbs 14 27 says, the fear of the Lord is a fountain of life that one may turn away from the snares of death. The enemy of your soul wants to trap you and knock you down that you may never get back up. The fear of the Lord is what we must remember every time we let an answer pour out of our mouths. Turn away from wrath. Proverbs 15 1 says a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger. Bringing a harsh word is the best way to ruin any family gathering. Our ego and pride often get in the way and keep us from humbling our responses.

How dare you say that or we think highly of ourselves and question if they know who they're talking to. Often people want to get back at others with their responses. The tongue is like a hot match on the side of the road in Eastern Washington in July. James 3 5 through 6 tells us, so also the tongue is a small member yet a boast of great things. How great a force is set ablaze by such a small fire and the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, standing the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. The destruction our tongues are capable of doing is unmeasurable.

The tongue that is not controlled will be full of anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk. How easy it is to bite and devour one another and end up being consumed by one another. The taste buds of those who have out of control tongues cannot taste that the Lord is good. If they did, they would not speak the words of unkindness to those around them. Stop flattering one another. Proverbs 26, 28 says, a lying tongue hurts its victims and a flattering mouth works ruin. Some like to puff up others for the sake of their agenda. They feed them with excessive compliments and to gain some kind of favor. I say a good friend would rather punch you in the face than flatter you.

Proverbs 27 6 says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend, profuse are the kisses of an enemy. Seek to use your words to encourage others and build them up. Otherwise you will only work ruined in your relationships. Proverbs 16 13 directs us in a better way. It says righteous lips are the delight of a king and he loves him who speaks what is right. While we are not kings, we should be people who delight in what is right and true. Our mouths should demonstrate that every time we open them. Matthew Henry says, here is further character of good kings that they love and delight in those that speak right. They have parasites and those that flatter them and are very willing that all of them should deal faithfully with them and tell them what is true, whether it is pleasing or displeasing, both concerning persons and things, that everything should be set in true light and nothing disguised."

End quote. Now flattering your friends is no way to be a good friend. It is a way to, it's actually, you're just being selfish and wanting to pursue something that you're wanting so you think puffing people up will get what you want, but in the end it comes back on you. Be a loyal friend. Proverbs 11, 12 through 13 says, whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent. Whoever goes about slander and reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps the thing covered.

We cannot be faithful and loyal friends when we have contempt for our neighbors and even go as far as to slander them for any reason. The wise person remains silent in such insults and remains faithful in keeping anything covered. We must be accountable to one another for the details of our life that we share. In one way, if you are not part of the problem or solution, staying clear of such interactions would be best. I would encourage you to go talk to the source of the problem. It's typically what I would encourage. If someone is coming and having a problem with someone over here, like, I don't need to be a part of that.

You can go talk to them. I mean, it really, oftentimes people are willing to say something when someone else is not around. So when you push them to go engage the other person, it actually is helpful, not only for the community, but for them, because they know that you won't put up with that. How would you feel if what you shared with a friend was revealed to another? It doesn't build trust in the community or in any relationship. Proverbs 17, nine says, Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. This is the way to keep peace with one another. When love can cover an offense, it is the best course for peace with our neighbor.

Those who expose what can be covered will cut off close friends. Become an active listener. Proverbs 18, 13 and 15 says, if one gives an answer before he hears it is folly and and shame. An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. This is when someone interrupts another before they finish their sentence. It is a lack of humility to speak when you should be listening. It also fails to show regard for the person speaking. You never know what knowledge might be shared, and you only bring yourself all in shame, rushing to spout your answer. This goes in line with Proverbs 19-20, which says, listen to advice and accept instruction that you may gain wisdom in the future.

Part of learning how to communicate well is to learn to be an active listener. Those who love to hear themselves talk are the worst people to converse with. I often like to remind myself that God gave me one mouth and two ears, so I should listen more. Keep watch over your lips. Proverbs 21, 23 says, whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. It is amazing how one can keep themselves out of trouble if they watch the door of their lips. We often get ourselves in trouble because of something we should not have said or shared. Matthew Henry says, quote, those that would keep their souls must keep a watch before the door of their lips, must keep the mouth by temperance, that no forbidden fruit go into it, no stolen waters, that nothing be eaten or drunk to excess.

They must keep their tongue also, that no forbidden word go out of the door of the lips, no corrupt communication. By a constant watchfulness over our words, we shall prevent abundance of mischiefs, which an ungoverned tongue runs men into. Keep thy heart, and that will keep thy tongue from sin. Keep thy tongue, and that will keep thy heart from trouble." End quote. Bring a good word. Proverbs 1225 says, anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down but a good word makes him glad. Proverbs 15 4 says, a gentle tongue is a tree of life but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.

And Proverbs 16 24, gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. You should know your Bible to encourage one another in their time of need. I love Philippians 4, 4 through 7 which says, Rejoicing the Lord always again I say rejoice let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. I share that verse because we need to let our reasonableness be known and that will only happen as we dig into the Word and let it season us so that our words will be salty and effective in the lives of those we speak into. A good tongue should have a good word to bring healing and comfort to those who have hurt, who have been hurt in this world whether by people or situations. It should be a word to bring them life.

Matthew Henry uses the idea of words of seasonable advice. I like that. It is advice that God can use to move a sinner forward in hope and joy. God's words are sweet to the soul and it is food for the weary saint so that they may be healed from broken bones that are caused by sin and rejoiced again in the Lord. Respond in truth. Proverbs 12, 17 through 19 says, whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence but a false witness utters deceit. There is one whose rash words are like sword thrust but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Truthful lips endure forever but a lying tongue is for a moment. We must learn to respond with truthful speech. Trustworthy character is what we are called to be in this world. We are to honestly represent what we know to be true in all situations and circumstances. Verse 18 reminds us that the tongue is life and death and words hurt on many levels, but the tongue of the wise brings healing and reconciliation. Wisdom finds a way to bring about what is right. The truth endures forever while a lie is for a moment. Ultimately, we can trust that God knows the truth and will find the liar out sooner or later, justice will be served. Do not lie. Proverbs 10 18, the one who conceals hatred has lion lips and whoever utters slander is a fool. Proverbs 12 22 says lion lips are an abomination to the Lord but those who act faithfully are his delight. One way people hide hatred is with lion lips. Lying is destructive to a relationship or a community. Relationships need truth to flourish. It is not to say that trust cannot be built back, but the fact that

someone lies to another says they have no love for them and any good relationship cannot stand on a foundation of lies. If someone comes to you with a concern and you tell them things are fine when they are not, you need to repent and learn to be honest with those in your life. Those who love the Lord must be faithful to his people. So where do we go from here? Well I would encourage you to start considering what communication problems you have. Where do you have to work? Like I have my own problems as you have your own problems and the way to start getting better at communicating in a way that honors the Lord is to just continue to practice where you either struggle or you know where you need to get better. I remember when I first became a Christian before I used to love to lie, but it came a time in my life where I mean even seeing a white lie just brought too much pain into my soul and the Lord taught me not to lie. So at that point I realized that I also was probably a faring man, but I

stopped lying and learned how to just tell the truth and at first it was difficult and hard but as I practiced that more and more it became easy and I was more confident in when when I addressed people and brought the truth.

Because if you line is just something that you got to run from even in your communication like you know oftentimes like I don't know what I was gonna say but there is there's a way when you bring words that if you're paying attention to the people that you're speaking to. You should know if it's bringing life or death, if it, you know, looks like you're pouring salt down her throat, like you probably should stop, like come up with some new way of approaching it or humbling yourself to consider that maybe the way you're saying things are right but you're just using the wrong way. I mean there are different methods to communicate. What is getting in the way of you making progress with your communication, whether that's with your wife or your kids or your next-door neighbor? And in progress I'm asking what do you need to do to handle yourself so that you can get through your problem without a failure of nerve and respond in a way that honors the Lord? Oftentimes I tell people that our joy

should not be hinged on the response of someone else. That just causes you more problems and you end up having, you know, you probably will say some things you don't want to say. So learn to have a joy that's solid in the Lord and hard for people to cut that cord. Often our attitudes and mouths get in the, get out of control because of our egos. Ego and pride, our communication and relationship progress killers like your ego will keep you from telling the truth you you have to really humble yourself especially when you're wrong or you say something that you shouldn't you really it does take humility to come forth and own that but you actually build a better audience when you do that because like people are paying attention they know when you have said something you shouldn't have said, or when you've set a comment that's biting, or you're trying to start a fire.

And so, oftentimes, if you are, I think, someone has said if you're a wet sponge, it's hard to light a match, so be a wet sponge. Someone said, someone said or did something and it rubbed you the wrong way, and you failed to go to them in love and talk to them. And if they come to you, you fail to fear the Lord and instead tell a liar something to smooth things out instead of moving through and leaning into conflict. You know, we need to learn to not be afraid of conflict. Conflict actually is good. It is a way to honor the Lord and to help us grow together. You know, iron sharpens iron. Well, if you're avoiding conflict, it's like running around with a dull knife.

You will not sharpen anybody and you will not be a better person because of the conversations you're having. But when you learn to, you know, just approach conflict and deal with that, let's say you fail, great, we'll get better next time. You can always grow and get better, but to say that you don't want to approach somebody because you don't like conflict is a bad excuse.

actually shows that you have a problem with your own ego. Two go-to passages that I go to for communication encouragement. The first one is Colossians 3, 12 through 15. Put on then as God's chosen ones holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts to which indeed you were called in one body and be thankful." End 1 Corinthians 13 4 through 8a. Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not arable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. Your heart is the problem. My heart's the problem. Kind of like what Sean was saying this morning in confession, garbage in, garbage out. If you are thinking garbage about anyone, it is going to work out of your heart, your mind and your mouth in a negative way and real life on life leads towards each other not a way. You will never move toward one another with hatred in your heart for others. I mean that's why I love taking communion weekly is because you know it exposed that in my own heart where like if you have a problem with someone like it's you can't really take communion so you need to deal with that and I more and more appreciate the weekly communion because it allows me to continue to keep my focus on the body here and making sure that I don't have any ill thoughts towards people and if I do that I'm at least dealing with that and figuring that out on my own heart. I do remember a time years ago when I was

talking to a friend and being negative about someone and probably looking for him to validate my feelings. This faithful brother asked me if I was hoping for the best in the person and situation and I was not and because of his wife's counsel it actually pushed me to repent and to think differently and since then that's why I love 1 Corinthians. Since then I cannot but hope the best in people and want to think that you know they're actually trying to do something good you know rather than think negatively. I mean you got to to pretty good lengths to get me to think that you got problems like that. And things turned out better and I learned how to be a faithful friend that day.

And my friend pointed me to a way to handle it in a way that was good for the body, instead of just listening and not encouraging me. In your communication problems, what would Jesus do in your given situation? I mean asking yourself what Jesus would do is helpful. I know sometimes people think that's too cliche, but I think about it. Like, what would Jesus want me to do? You know, is this handling this person, this conversation in a way that Jesus would want me to? And if not, I'd need to repent. Yeah, and there are people that go around for counsel and have no desire or intention to do the right thing. If someone comes to you for counsel, you should probably check back in and make sure that they are doing what they came asking for, you know, because it's just a waste of time to give counsel that someone has no intention of doing anything with.

Are you praying? The best way to handle relationship and communication problems is to rest, pray for help from the Lord and then to move forward, showing up, putting things that would strengthen your communication into practice. Oftentimes, whether it's my wife, Jolie, who's had problems or myself, I'm not one to quickly rush into conflict. I actually want to pray about it. Maybe the Lord will resolve it. Maybe I have the problem. Maybe it's something I can roll off my back or maybe it's something I do need to confront, but it takes time for me to discern that and I'm not one to take quick steps running towards, you know, fighting and devouring because typically no one really does like to be confronted except me, I guess.

But if you do it in a winsome way, which I will always say most people that need to be corrected don't find it winsome period. They actually hate that. And you will get, you know, rubbed the wrong way. But oftentimes, there is a way to show that you do love somebody and the fact that you're actually going to somebody and addressing an issue with your communication or their communication shows that you do love because hatred would not engage. And like I said don't be afraid of conflict fear the Lord to consider what love would do in your situation. Sometimes people will not respond with grace and love and that's on them. You were called to be faithful to the Lord and his people. Ask Ask questions rather than make accusations.

Remember that our words are either knitting our hearts together or working ruin, so we just, we need to watch your mouth. I'm gonna pray. Father, thank you for the word. May you use it to continue to encourage me again. But just, you know our hearts, you know the communication conflicts we have, you know where we need to be strengthened, where we need to grow, where we need more nerve or even more gentleness. And so Lord, I just pray that you would continue to shape and mold us to be more like you. You know what you're doing with each of us. And I pray that each of us would be content and find grace in your providence as we continue to look in the mirror, consider the character that we are and how we can do better, not only for your church for when you come back, but also for the holiness and the peace of our relationships. So continue to knit our hearts together and thank you again in Jesus' name, amen.

Remember that our words are either knitting our hearts together or working ruin, so we just, we need to watch your mouth. I'm gonna pray. Father, thank you for the word. May you use it to continue to encourage me again. But just, you know our hearts, you know the communication conflicts we have, you know where we need to be strengthened, where we need to grow, where we need more nerve or even more gentleness. And so Lord, I just pray that you would continue to shape and mold us to be more like you. You know what you're doing with each of us. And I pray that each of us would be content and find grace in your providence as we continue to look in the mirror, consider the character that we are and how we can do better, not only for your church for when you come back, but also for the holiness and the peace of our relationships.