Welcome to the first-ever True Crime Tuesday, where the cases are weird, the commentary is chaotic, and the only thing scarier than crimes .. are the people committing them.

this week, we're serving up three true stories that prove reality is stranger (and dumber) than fiction:

A man in India who hosted a "divine" dinner party featuring roasted peacocks. Yes, the national bird. A tenant who discovered a stranger secretly living under her floorboards. And a priest with a potato-related emergency that you will NEVER unhear. 

Plus, we're closing out with the Docket of Dumb. Five real headlines that'll make you question the evolutionary timeline. 

Lock your doors, hide your carbs, and welcome to True Crime Tuesday.

Song of the week: "Critical Mass" by Bored As Hell