Criminal masterminds? No. Criminal disasters? Absolutely.

Prepare yourself for a full buffet of bad decisions, because this week’s True Crime Tuesday dives into the dumbest, fastest-failing crime plans ever attempted. From a man who tried to break into an ATM using his debit card, to a would-be burglar who trusted Google Maps so blindly it led him straight into a police station, these cases prove that some people really are their own worst enemy.

I walk you through five chaotic crimes that collapsed instantly, sprinkled with my signature unhinged commentary, too-much-caffeine energy, and the kind of laughter that makes you snort in public. Plus the Docket of Dumb returns with fresh headlines reminding you that Earth is absolutely not the top-tier planet we pretend it is.

🎵 Song of the Week: “Broken Record” by The Sunstrokes

🚔 Crimes that solve themselves
😂 Criminals who incriminate… themselves
🧠 Zero brain cells. Maximum entertainment.