Many people who endure narcissistic abuse end up trauma bonded to their abuser. Psychologist Carla Shohet explains that this is a psychological and physiological bond — literally an addiction. Recovery requires more than talk therapy, she says. Traumatic memories and mistaken beliefs become trapped in the body, and they need to be gently removed from the body. Carla describes several methods that she uses to do it.

Listen to the podcast Carla Shohet refers to in this episode: The trauma bond is so real and so strong

For more information about Carla Shohet and her services, visit CarlaShohet.com

To learn how to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths, visit Lovefraud.com. You’ll find articles, books, and webinars. You can also make an appointment with Donna Andersen, for advice on how to recover from your personal experience with a disordered individual. 

If you would like to share your story for a possible podcast episode, please visit the Lovefraud survey.

“Sarah” had a history of abusive relationships. “Tim” seemed so different —he was a handsome, high-ranking military officer who was soft spoken, attentive and caring. But slowly he became controlling and violent. Sarah was so trauma bonded that even though she knew Tim was dangerous, she couldn’t leave. “I couldn’t live with him and I couldn’t live without him,” she said.

What’s it really like to be involved with a sociopath, narcissist or psychopath? I'm Donna Andersen, author of Lovefraud.com, and this podcast answers that question.In these riveting podcasts, people who were unknowingly targeted by con artists of love describe how they were seduced, deceived and ultimately betrayed. They’re sharing their stories so you can learn the warning signs of pathological manipulation that they missed, and avoid an encounter with an emotional predator. If you’ve already been targeted, these stories let you know that you’re certainly not alone. They offer you hope that escape, recovery and happiness after the ordeal are possible.

In a recent True Lovefraud Stories podcast, a man wanted to marry a woman with assets — and he did. The guy came into the marriage with nothing, and in the divorce a few years later, left with $4 million in the property. Attorney Jolee Vacchi explains what you need to know about property rights in divorce, and how to protect yourself from a scheming spouse.

Resources

Jolee E. Vacchi

Foundations Family Law

Practicing in Rhode Island and Massachusetts

508-635-8965

Photo by Specna Arms on Unsplash

After two divorces, “Patricia” knew exactly what she was looking for in a man, and with “Jeffrey,” she thought she found it. He served heroically in the military yet was tender and cuddly. He was a Christian who listened when God spoke to him. But slowly Jeffrey’s behavior changed, and his true nefarious intentions were revealed.

Abusers use a variety of tactics to manipulate their targets, and one of them is guilt. Mandy Friedman, LPCC-S, CCDVC, CCTP, a counselor who specializes in treating victims of abuse, wants survivors to know that guilt is a red flag. It may mean that you’re being manipulated now, or that you’re replaying old tapes from the past in which you were manipulated. Mandy explains how to figure out why you feel guilty and what to do about it.

Resources

Mandy Friedman, LPCC-S, CCDVC, CCTP

Clermont Mental Heath

513-655-6911

When “Avery” married “Jonathan,” she thought she was marrying her best friend. On their honeymoon, he wanted her to buy a creepy stuffed goat head — the first of his many unreasonable demands. No matter how hard Avery tried to please Jonathan, he kept claiming she was causing his anxiety and he'll kill himself because of her. And then Avery learned the truth about her husband.

Travis Vining could no longer function in life. He suffered back pain, migraine headaches, weight loss and nosebleeds. Finally, in desperation, Travis asked if God were real, and if so, could He help. In time, Travis found recovery through acceptance and forgiveness. He also recovered repressed memories of why he felt so tormented — his father’s unspeakable criminal behavior.

Resources

Miracle in the Madness website

LAF with GOD website

The Miracle in the Madness: Grateful to be the son of a murderer on Amazon

Transforming Darkness to Light, for Giving on Amazon

LAF It Off!: How to Unleash your superpower! on Amazon

“Kathy” was 17, bright, pretty, wealthy — and totally unaware that others might want to take advantage of her. She met “Rick” at church, and he saw a juicy target — a naïve young girl with money. He told her God wanted them to be together. Unfortunately, Kathy believed him.

Donna Andersen wants the world to know that millions of sociopaths live among us and do not have the ability to authentically love. She shared her message at a TEDx event in 2022 and her presentation was well-received. But TED never posted her video on its website, and never explained why. Donna even supplied an annotated script with scientific citations for everything she said. No response. Finally, she re-recorded the talk and posted it on Youtube. If you think her message is important, please share it. 

More information

Annotated script to Donna Andersen's talk on How to protect yourself from sociopaths